Author's Note: Well... this is it. I told myself I'd finish it tonight and I did. Keep in mind that I was watching the Grammys while I wrote most of this, and if anything is a bit rough it's probably because I was fangirling over John Legend. Writing this has been so much fun despite its subject matter, and I thank you guys so much for your support!
Matthew calls on a good day, when Alfred is humming to himself while he does the dishes and Elizabeta is trying to coax Sally into playing with her in the living room. They stayed up late watching scary movies that weren't necessarily frightening last night, and Alfred had been somewhat fine until Elizabeta slipped in The Exorcist without his notice. Needless to say, Alfred was a complete mess the previous night and refused to be alone in his apartment, so Elizabeta stayed. It was her fault anyway. Who in their right mind would show Alfred Jones a movie like that on Halloween?
The man pauses and turns to glance at the phone near the fridge before reaching for a towel to dry his hands. Elizabeta's definitely not getting off the floor to answer the phone, so there's no point in asking. "Hello?" Alfred says, lifting the phone to his ear. Sally abandons Elizabeta, leaving the Alpha whining indignantly on the floor, and trots into the adjacent kitchen to jump up onto the counter-top gracefully. She always does that whenever Alfred talks on the phone. He thinks she knows that nine times out of ten, the conversation is going to end with him near tears.
"Why didn't you pick up last night, you ass?"
"Lizzie made me watch The Exorcist." Alfred says tonelessly, shooting the Alpha a dirty look when she giggles from her spot on the floor, still half asleep. "She was probably laughing at my reactions so loud that I couldn't hear the phone."
"Ah, I see." His brother is laughing, and Alfred would feel annoyed if he weren't so pleased. It's been a while since he last talked with Matthew. "I guess I can forgive you then."
"What was so important?" Alfred asks curiously. Even from over the phone, he can hear how elated his brother is. Mattie's voice is trembling slightly, and Alfred has half a mind to be concerned. "You sound like you just ran a marathon."
"Well, I had a nice chat with Vash earlier. Had to stay on my toes for that one."
Alfred frowns at Elizabeta, who rolls over onto her stomach, watching him with an eyebrow raised. Why on earth would his brother need to have a conversation with… "Matthew, you didn't."
"Oh, but I did."
"You fucker!" Alfred exclaims, laughing despite himself. "I can't believe this, it's a Halloween miracle! How did you do it? She said yes, right? I mean I've only been pulling my hair out over this since high school, please tell me she said yes."
"Did Matthew finally grow a pair and propose to Lilli?" Elizabeta demands just as Matthew says, "She opened her door thinking it was a trick-or-treater last night and saw me down on one knee instead. And of course she said yes, Al, do you think I'd tell you about my failure if she hadn't?"
"You're such a nerd." Alfred says, waving off Elizabeta when she continues to fire questions at him. "How did you know she'd answer the door? What if it had been Vash instead? Talk about awkward."
Matthew makes a slight noise of disgust, and Alfred hears a door shutting in the background. He briefly wonders if Matthew is still living with their parents. His brother mentioned a house that was for sale down the street from the Carriedo's the last time they'd talked, and he'd expressed a desire to buy it. Alfred should've known his brother was planning to propose when the topic of houses was brought up. Of course his Alpha brother was going to want to buy a suitable home for his mate. Alfred tries not to, but he wonders if their father will be paying for a large portion of the mortgage.
"I had to ask her father beforehand." Matthew says. "You know how traditional her parents are. If I'd asked her without running it by them first, they probably would've refused to come to the wedding. They made sure she was the one opening the door."
"Well, congratulations, Mattie." Alfred says, and he really means it. His brother's happiness means everything to him. If one Jones twin gets his happily ever after, it should be Matthew. "Elizabeta says congrats, she's just too lazy to come over here and tell you herself."
"Hey, fuck you." Elizabeta shoots back, pushing herself up on her forearms and kicking her legs in the air behind her, obviously ecstatic. "Maybe if a certain someone hadn't kept me up all night making me check every room five times over for possessed children I wouldn't be so flippin' tired."
"Did you tell Mom and Dad yet?" Alfred asks.
"No, I wanted you to be the first. I'm gonna call Annie after this, and then I'll go home and tell Mom and Dad."
Alfred's noticed lately that Matthew's becoming less and less involved with their parents. He was the favorite son after Alfred came out, the only hope for grandchildren that wouldn't be blasphemous or whatever the fuck, because apparently same-sex marriage isn't considered legitimate in Allen even though it's been legal throughout the country for a long time. Alfred never wanted his actions to change his brother's relationship with their parents, though his efforts have been in vain. It started happening when their dad punched Alfred on Christmas Eve and then escalated from there.
"They'll be glad." Alfred says, scratching underneath Sally's chin when he leaves the kitchen, joining Elizabeta in the living room. He sits down on the couch heavily, still exhausted himself. "I bet they thought they'd never have grand-babies, since you and Lilli are so straight and narrow and I'm an abomination."
"Don't be like that." Matthew chides instantly. "They're being difficult now, but I bet they'll be calling you up for visits once you settle down and have a kid. Mom'll want to see if it has Grandma's nose or Grandpa's mouth."
"I hope it has Arthur's eyes." Alfred says, because he thinks about this a lot. While he and Arthur can't have kids the traditional way, there are other options. Elizabeta purses her lips, probably trying to figure out what it is they're discussing. "Anyway, when do you think the wedding is gonna be?"
"The beginning of June, I think, next year. Lilli and I talked about it last night, but not for very long."
Alfred frowns. He hasn't been paying much attention to the date lately, only knows it's October because Halloween was yesterday and it's been nearly a month since Annie came to visit. "That soon? Wouldn't you want to wait until next November, right before her next closest heat?"
"Her cycles have always been irregular." Matthew explains, probably only comfortable with saying so because Alfred is an Omega himself. "They mostly happen in July, around our birthday. Lilli wants to be married a little before her next heat, and June seemed like a good time."
Alfred isn't so sure. The sooner the wedding, the sooner he'll have to go home, and the less time he has to talk himself into actually going. As if sensing his brother's thoughts, Matthew adds, "You're the best man, you know."
"Well, duh." Alfred scoffs. "I'd be offended if I wasn't. I've been your guys' number one fan since the good old days."
"And neither of us will forget that." Matthew says softly, his voice fond. Alfred knows his brother is thinking of those nights when Lilli would come over and watch movies with them, and how Alfred never said a word if the pair became touchy feely – though touchy feely for Mattie and Lilli wasn't nearly as involved as it had been between Alfred and Arthur. Alfred knew better than anyone that public displays of affection shouldn't be taken for granted, so he'd never had the heart to put up a fuss. "I know coming home won't be easy for you, but I'm not gonna lie and say I won't be upset if you don't show up."
"I'll be there. It's about you and Lilli, not Mom and Dad."
"Please don't fight with them. Dad especially."
"I'm always civil." Alfred says, hurt. It's the truth, after all. Alfred hadn't started any fights with his father back when he was a teenager, though he'd certainly jumped in without a second thought if his dad came home feeling especially antagonistic. "I'll only be there for two, three days tops. I can handle it."
Matthew sounds a bit doubtful when he says, "You can always bring Elizabeta if you want. Tino and Berwald, too, though I know they'll have their kid by then."
"I'm sure Lizzie will want to come." Alfred says, though it's not as if the Alpha has a choice. There's no way in Hell he's going home alone where there's a possibility that he'll chicken out on the ride down and just end up turning around and coming right back to Brooklyn. Elizabeta is his voice of reason – surprising, since she can barely take care of herself – and he can't imagine going through with this without her.
"Fuck yeah, I do." Elizabeta chimes, loud enough that Matthew can probably hear her over the phone.
Alfred chuckles, though Matthew is silent. "Mattie? You okay over there?"
"I was gonna invite Lucie and all of them." Matthew says, and Alfred bites the inside of his cheek. "I'm still thinking about it, but… yeah."
"That'd be one awkward reception."
"I know, but… we're all family, Al, and you know it. Everyone's acting stupid over what happened with you and Arthur, but even that can't erase all those years we spent attached at the hips. Before all this happened, I always imagined everyone there, sitting in that pew together, you know?"
The Omega does know, for he'd imagined the same thing before he fell in love with Arthur and that sort of fantasy was far out of his reach. He feels awful for splitting everyone up, ruining all future familial events and now his brother's wedding, though there's nothing he can do about it. "Yeah, I know." Alfred sighs. "No one wishes things could be different more than me, Mattie. Whatever. We're all adults. Are you going to invite Arthur, too?"
"Lilli and I want to." Matthew says. "But with Dad the way he is, I'm honestly afraid he'll try to deck Arthur the moment he sees him."
Alfred understands his brother's concerns and momentarily fears for Arthur, because Alfred knows firsthand how painful a punch from Robert Jones is. "Artie can take care of himself. We both can. Listen, I have to go, Matt, but don't worry. Invite whoever you want. I'll be okay."
"If you say so. I'll call you again later, Al."
"Right. See ya." Alfred says, though when he meets Elizabeta's gaze, it seems as if they both know Matthew's wedding will certainly be a doozy.
By the time they arrive in Allen, Alfred is a mess.
Elizabeta took to hovering as soon as they landed at the airport, giving off the air of a protective Alpha so fiercely that people were actually scrambling to get out of the way as she walked by, Alfred trailing behind her. She doesn't get like that often, and it's usually pretty obnoxious, because Alfred doesn't need to be coddled, but at the time, he was pretty grateful. In moments like those, it's easier to give into his primal instincts and follow an Alpha's lead, even if Lizzie isn't his own.
Matthew picked them up at the airport, and while Alfred was thrilled to see his brother in person after so long, the closer they got to his childhood home, the less excited he became. When they reached the county line, the Omega had all but stopped talking, leaving Matthew and Elizabeta to carry on conversations that were mostly about the upcoming ceremony.
Alfred doesn't feel any semblance of panic until his parents' house is in sight and he notes that his father's car is in the driveway. The three of them sit in silence for a few moments when Matthew parks near the curb. "You okay?" Elizabeta asks, leaning forward to speak over Alfred's shoulder. "You smell like you're about to hurl."
"This sounded easier in my head."
"It's just for a few days." Matthew assures, though Alfred isn't listening. As he stares at his childhood home, he's wondering if he should pull forth the detached person he'd had to be back in high school to make it through his day, the stoic Omega who looked on in disinterest whenever his parents tried to convince him that what he and Arthur had done was wrong.
He ultimately decides against it, is determined to prove to himself and to his parents that he's grown as a person since then and doesn't have to hide behind a rebellious mask anymore. He isn't ashamed, has nothing to hide, and he's going to prove to them that he's still the Omega son his mother gave birth to twenty-one years ago, that he wasn't the one who changed.
"Well, prolonging it won't help." Alfred sighs. "Let's go break the ice."
Matthew leads the way with Alfred and Elizabeta following after, each of them carrying their own lugging and shifting nervously as the soon-to-be-mated Alpha opens the front door without knocking. "Mom! Dad! We're back." Matthew calls while Alfred takes everything in.
Not much has changed since the last time he was here. The interior is the same, none of the furniture has been removed or replaced, and the Omega notices with slight shock that the pictures of him haven't been taken down. Granted, anything that hinted to the Kirkland family's existence is gone, probably collecting dust in some box in the cellar, but Alfred's simply relieved that the house he grew up in isn't as foreign to him as he'd expected it to be.
"Alfred." Someone is talking, and Alfred shifts his gaze to the entryway leading to the kitchen, finding his mother staring back at him.
"Hey, Mom." He says, observing her as she observes him. She looks so much older than the last time he saw her, hair dulled and eyes crinkled at the corners, but she's everything he remembered and missed and then some.
She's quick to approach him, and Matthew is grinning from ear to ear as Alfred sets his bag down and accepts the embrace his mother offers him. "You've gotten taller." She notes, pulling back after a few moments to flash him a shaky smile, taking his face in her hands and pulling him down slightly to place a kiss on his forehead. Elizabeta snickers quietly at his side. "You look good."
"I feel good." Alfred says honestly, taking a half step back and extending his right arm to gesture toward Elizabeta. "Mom, this is Elizabeta Héderváry. She's a friend of mine from school. Lizzie, this is my mom, Caroline Jones."
Elizabeta is the first to extend her hand in greeting, smiling pleasantly in that perfectly polished manner she's long since perfected. "It's nice to meet you, ma'am. I've heard a lot of good things about you."
Alfred and his mother both look at one another at the same time, as if they both understand and accept that not everything the female Alpha has heard about Alfred and Matthew's parents has been good.
"It's nice to meet you as well, dear." His mom says, and while Alfred had expected her to size Elizabeta up, determine whether or not she deemed her a nice, potential, female mate for Alfred, though she's doing none of that, meeting Elizabeta's eyes evenly as she accepts her offered hand. "Don't hesitate to ask for anything while you're here. Matthew told me this is most likely your first time in such a rural area."
"I can't deny that. I'm sure I'll have an interesting time here, though. Thank you for your hospitality."
The blatant schmoozing is something Alfred hasn't had to deal with in a very long time, but Elizabeta seems to understand that his mother – everyone in town, really – is old-fashioned and very different compared to how things are back in New York. Truth be told, Alfred's glad Elizabeta is taking the cautious route when meeting his parents.
"Where's Dad?" Matthew says, asking the question that's starting to plague Alfred. "I saw his car out front."
"Oh, he's around here somewhere." She huffs, turning around to shout up the stairs. "Honey, the boys are here! Honestly. I swear I told him you three would be arriving around lunchtime."
"That's because you did." Alfred jolts slightly as his father appears from the sitting room, a newspaper in hand and an unreadable expression on his face. Unlike with his first sighting of his mom, Alfred feels nothing but apprehension as he and his Alpha father share a look. He must've been sitting in there the whole time, looking over the comics in silence as he listened to his wife greet his wayward son, only making an appearance when someone asked where he was. "Welcome home, Alfred."
The young Omega nods, smiling as pleasantly as he can. "Thanks, Dad."
"Robert, this is Al's friend from school, Elizabeta." His mom jumps in quickly so awkward silence doesn't squirm its way into the reunion.
"It's nice to meet you, sir." Elizabeta says, though she stays rooted to her spot, coolly meeting Alfred's father's gaze. Alfred briefly wonders if it's an Alpha thing.
"Likewise."
"Al, why don't you take Elizabeta upstairs and show her the guest bedroom?" Matthew says. "You guys can get settled while Mom and I finish lunch."
Alfred takes his sibling's offered attempt at escape and nods quickly, picking up his bag and starting for the stairs with Elizabeta following close behind him. Their mom doesn't protest, already used to Matthew's insistence to help with the cooking, though Alfred knows if it were any other Alpha or man in general, his mom would decline the offer and insist that she was just fine on her own.
This was certainly going to be a very interesting stay.
Later that night, there's a knock at Alfred's bedroom door.
He'd been preparing for bed, exhausted after spending the afternoon humoring his mom's attempts to pretend that everything was fine and keeping up clipped and pointless conversations with his dad. Elizabeta had been a big help, filling up any silences with questions that Alfred's parents couldn't help but answer, though Alfred is still entirely too drained by the entire thing.
He pauses, just about to turn off his lamp, and watches the door wearily. "Come in."
He's expecting either Matthew or Elizabeta since both of his parents retired for the night earlier, so when it's his mother's cautious expression that he's greeted with instead, he sits up straight on his bed. "Hey." She says, closing the door quietly behind her. "Were you getting ready for bed?"
"Yes and no." Alfred says. "I mean, I'm tired, but… I can't really sleep."
She gives him a sympathetic smile, moving forward to sit beside him on his bed, the exact same one he used when he was still living here. As far as he can tell, his parents haven't messed with anything in the room. He's a little shocked, because when he left with Mattie all those years ago, he'd honestly never planned on coming back, and he'd also expected that his parents thought the same.
It's a bit strange, sitting in this room he grew up in with his mother at his side. These four walls concealed nearly everything he went through as a kid, paid witness to every meltdown, every smile. Alfred can't wait to escape for good.
"Is anything wrong?" He asks when the silence between them stretches on for too long. "You worried about Matt or something?"
"I'm always worried about your brother." She says, and Alfred smiles. "But I actually wanted to talk to you about… well, you. About everything."
This is a surprise to Alfred, who was convinced his mom would ignore every sour memory between them until the day he and Elizabeta left again. When he was a kid, she was always strict and proper, but that side of her seemed to disappear after everything he and Arthur did together came to light. She grew quiet then, pliant and different, the perfect Omega wife, and this isn't something that new side of Caroline Jones would do.
"What do you want me to say, Mom?" Alfred sighs, staring at the floor listlessly, too tired to deal with this. "I am sorry that my choices tore our family apart, but if you want me to apologize for the choices themselves, I won't do it."
"Alfred, that's not – " She pauses, takes a deep breath. "You know, when Matthew told me you were coming home for the wedding, I was a little surprised. Honestly, I never expected to see you again after you left for college. And… that made me think about things, about how if you never did come back home, it would've been my fault."
Alfred blinks, shocked. "Mom – "
"Hush, Alfred." She says sternly, and the Omega does just that, suddenly very much awake. "After what happened, we were very unfair to you. I won't lie and tell you that thinking about what you may have done with Arthur doesn't upset me, but in the end, it's not my choice to make. This is your life, Alfred, and as your mother I'm supposed to stand by you regardless of my thoughts on the decisions you make.
"It couldn't have been easy, being exposed like that." She continues quietly, voice thick with something Alfred can't identify as she turns to look at him. He can't meet her gaze, can't promise himself that he won't start to cry if he does. "I can only imagine how frightened you must have been, how betrayed you felt. And I am so angry with myself for raising you in a way that made you believe you couldn't come to us with how you felt."
"It's your faith." He says pointedly. "You grew up believing same sex couples are sinful and that Omega couples are even more so, just as I was. So, of course you were going to be upset, and of course I never wanted to tell you about any of it."
"I can't tell you that I'm not still coming to terms with it," she says, and just her refusal to place a name to the whole thing tells Alfred everything he needs to know about where she stands and then some, but at least she's trying, "but you're my son, Al, and I love you very much. I don't want you to feel like you aren't welcome here."
Alfred laughs humorlessly, barely noticing when his mom reaches over to grasp his trembling hand tightly. "Have you had this discussion with Dad? You guys don't seem to be on the same page."
"Please, don't hate your father. He's only worried about you, about your future."
Worried? All of this because his father was worried about him? Alfred doesn't believe it, not a single word; but even if he did, he'd still be livid. It was all too apparent to him that his father thought he was scum, that he wouldn't so much as bat an eye if Alfred never showed his face around here ever again. He also knew his mom thought in a similar way, but at least she was actually trying to make amends.
"Mom, I don't think you understand how badly all this affected me, how it's still affecting me." He says eventually. "I may be an Omega, but I'm pretty tough. I struggled through so much on my own, more than you probably know, and I managed to come out okay, if only because I had Arthur to talk to. But after he left, I was all alone, and you guys didn't even want to listen to my side of things. I was isolated out here. Dad and Lucie hated me, so of course I wanted to get out the first chance I had. I wanted to make things work, but no one ever wanted to meet me halfway. Not until now, I guess."
"No matter how many times I've gone to confession since you left, I've never forgiven myself for allowing things to get so out of hand." His mother says. "Even when your father… hit you on Christmas, I never said anything. I never talked to you and I never talked to your dad, and I'm so sorry, Alfred."
"What's changed? Why do you want to talk now?"
"I suppose nothing's changed." She admits after a few moments of contemplation. "I still think homosexuality is a sin, and even if I did accept that, I would at least want you to settle down with a nice, male Alpha."
Alfred is so close to snapping, frustrated that apparently no one in his family can grasp the concept that – aside from one, non-significant issue – Arthur can give him everything that an Alpha can and vice-versa, but his mom is quick to continue. "But I realized while you were gone that you're still the loud, loving little boy I gave birth to twenty-one years ago, and absolutely nothing will change that. If we grew apart, it would be no one's fault but my own, and I can't live with that."
"… Dad's at fault here too, you know." Alfred says, because what can he say? His mom is telling him what he's wanted to hear for far too long now. The moment is surreal, way too good to be true, and the young Omega is flailing, so close to falling and losing whatever he's managed to retain since the old days. "I meant what I said. You can't protect him, not from this."
"We both went about this the wrong way. Your father shouldn't have fought with you, and I shouldn't have sat by and let him. He may never say as much, but he regrets everything. Robert may be blinded by Scripture, but you're still his son, and he loves you."
"I wish he'd show it." Alfred is crying now, and his mom is trying to soothe him, one arm wrapping around his trembling shoulders while the other grasps at his hand. "I can't because he won't."
"You're both too stubborn for your own good." She's crying as well, done trying to be strong for his benefit. "Just trust in God, Alfred. That's all you have to do."
Truthfully, Alfred's pretty fucking tired of placing everything in the hands of a deity, wants to trust in his own parents for a change, but then he remembers Arthur's letter, tucked safely away in his bag. He read it nearly three times after escaping to his old bedroom earlier, found solace in the man's drunken scrawl, and he recalls that feeling now.
Arthur said the same thing, to trust in God's plan and know that He would never give anyone anything they could not handle, and while it's enough to calm Alfred down somewhat, he still manages to cry himself into exhaustion while his mother holds his hand.
The very next day, Alfred finds himself standing in the church he swore he'd never frequent again, waiting anxiously for his brother's wedding to start. "Man, it's like the whole town is being crowded into this place." Elizabeta muses, looking perky and curious despite the fact that Alfred had to literally drag her from bed that morning.
"That's because it is." Alfred responds, pulling at the collar of his suit restlessly. His mom had told him not to bring one of his own, that she had the perfect one for him to wear. It doesn't look any more spectacular than any suit the Omega's worn before, but apparently it means something to his mom, though she never said anything.
His father had seen him in it earlier before they'd left the house, and Alfred's heart nearly jumped out of his chest when his dad placed a hand on his shoulder and told him that he'd grown up into a fine young man. The Omega had been too stunned to say anything in response, standing stalk still until his mom announced that it was time to go, though he can't stop thinking about it, isn't sure what prompted the sudden affection.
"You're kidding." Elizabeta says, fixing Alfred with an incredulous look. "There's no way."
Alfred shakes his head. "Well, there will be people in the balconies, everyone sitting in the pews, and then I'm sure a lot will stand. All of us had to pile into this church on Sundays anyway."
"Jesus H. Christ!" Elizabeta exclaims, earning herself some distasteful looks from the people standing around them. Alfred thinks Elizabeta's only been accepted and acknowledged thus far because she's with him. Everyone probably assumes that Alfred Jones got himself a mate while he was off at college, and Alfred isn't in a mood to tell them any different. So far, no one's said anything, which is a miracle in itself. "Matthew's close enough to everyone to invite the whole town to his wedding?"
"Well, anyone who doesn't know us knows Lilli's family, so… pretty much. Anyway, everyone knows everyone around here, Lizzie. That's just how it is."
"I don't envy you. I used to hate being overlooked or placed somewhere below my Alpha brothers, but I can't imagine having everyone in town in my business all the time."
Alfred nods, glancing around the church in hopes to find his mother. He never got the chance to ask if there was going to be a reception after this, and if there is, he'd like to mentally prepare himself for what's to come. While he doesn't find his mom, he does notice someone pushing through the crowd toward them. "Hey, Alfred." Gilbert says once he reaches them, sparing Elizabeta a glance. "Long time no see."
"Hey, Gilbert." Alfred says uncertainly, surprised that the Alpha would actively seek him out like this.
"Look, uh, I know this probably isn't the best time to discuss this, but I just wanted you to know that I'm… sorry for everything I said back when we were in school." Gilbert manages to grind out, looking every bit as awkward and uncomfortable as he sounds.
Random doesn't even begin to describe the situation, but it becomes clear to Alfred that he's not the only one who's changed since the old days. Gilbert was one of those Alphas who never admitted to being wrong, and he especially never felt sorry for anything he did or said. Gilbert is sticking his neck out here, so Alfred decides that he can throw him a bone. "It's okay, Gilbert. I hardly ever think about it anymore. I guess I should apologize for pouring milk on your head, huh?"
Gilbert snorts. "Nah, I deserved that. Probably deserved a whole lot more. I'll have to apologize to Kirkland, too. You seen him?"
"No, I haven't." Alfred says. He's been subconsciously looking for Arthur ever since they got here, but he hasn't seen him. "But I'll relay the message when I do, if you want." If he ever does.
Gilbert shakes his head. "It would probably be best if he heard it from me, but thanks." Turning to Elizabeta, he adds, "Is this your mate?"
Alfred laughs. "No, this is my friend Elizabeta. I met her at school."
"It's nice to meet you." The man says, ever chivalrous. Come to think of it, Alfred can't remember seeing Gilbert being rude to anyone of the opposite gender, regardless of Nature.
Elizabeta nods but doesn't say anything, and Gilbert and Alfred shake hands before the Alpha disappears again. "So, that's Gilbert Beilschmidt, huh?"
"Yep. I honestly never expected an apology from him, but he's not a bad guy. We were all kinda stupid as kids."
Elizabeta doesn't say anything to that, still tracking Gilbert's movements with her eyes, and when she does turn back to Alfred, there's a sheepish grin on her face. "He's an Alpha, yes?"
Somehow Alfred isn't surprised that this is her only concern, and he can't help but smirk. "Go talk to him if you want. No one's stopping you."
"I'll be back." She says before disappearing into the sea of faces, leaving Alfred alone amidst the people he's known since he was a kid.
He hardly has a moment to himself before there's a hand on his shoulder, and the Omega whirls around, greeted with a warm smile and amber eyes. "Feli!" Alfred exclaims, hugging the Beta fiercely as they both laugh. "Man, it feels like forever since I saw you last."
"Three or four years, give or take." Feliciano says, and Alfred feels somewhat regretful that he stayed away so long, if only because he hadn't been able to stay in contact with his friend thanks to the distance and uncertainty Alfred faced. "It's good to see you, Al. How have you been?"
"I've been good." Alfred says. "I have to thank you, actually, 'cause I'm working on getting my teaching degree in art. I don't think I would've gone for it if it hadn't been for you."
"Really? That's fantastic!" Feliciano exclaims, and while Alfred is glad to be around someone so familiar, there's something different about the Beta. Maybe it's just the fact that they haven't seen one another in years, or perhaps something else that Alfred can't possibly know about, but he's curious. "I thought about doing the same, but that's just not how things worked out."
"Oh?"
Feliciano nods, and it's then that Alfred notices the change. Before, Feliciano always smelled like his house, like his grandfather's Italian cooking, but Alfred can't smell any of that now. Instead, Alfred senses body spray; lots of it. Alfred blinks, tries to keep his face from displaying too much shock, because he can't stop thinking about how he always used to do the same when he was a teenager, apply his brother's heavy-scented body spray to hide his scent whenever he spent hours alone with Arthur.
"Ludwig and I are roommates now." The Beta says, and Alfred stiffens slightly. "It's kinda complicated, but Ludwig works at his dad's office so I don't have to. It's kinda nice, but really boring, so I help Mrs. Adams at the school sometimes."
"Without a license?"
"Eh, they like me enough. It's more like I'm volunteering anyhow."
Alfred nods, though he's too lost in his thoughts to say anything else. Somehow he's not surprised. He remembers sitting with Feliciano at the boys' soccer practices after school, doing homework and talking to one another. Looking back, sometimes Feliciano would get a faraway look in his eye whenever he watched the players for too long. Alfred never knew exactly who his friend was looking at, but now, he can make a guess.
And he's terrified for Feliciano, doesn't think the Beta could handle being shunned by the community if anyone ever found out, especially if he's this careless when talking about his arrangement with Ludwig. Maybe Alfred only caught on because he's been there before, but Feliciano will have to watch himself. Then again, Alfred can't think of a soul in Allen who would dare mess with the Beilschmidts, least of all Ludwig.
"I'm happy for you." Alfred says, and the anxious look in Feliciano's eyes disappears completely. He briefly wonders how Feliciano knew he'd understand, though they'll have more time to discuss this later. "Just… be careful. I'm gonna go get ready to walk, but we'll talk again later, okay?"
Feliciano nods, giving Alfred another fierce hug before walking off to join Ludwig, who Alfred failed to notice was standing nearby, waiting for the Beta.
Alfred starts to head for the door before anyone else can approach him, though it's really because he's noticed his father watching him, assessing him, as if waiting for Alfred to slip up yet again.
Matthew was a bit of a mess before the ceremony actually began, though thanks to a few rational words from his twin, he managed to calm down a tad.
While walking up the isle next to Lilli's maid of honor, Alfred had assessed those gathered critically, unable to stop himself from looking for Arthur. He'd seen a lot of people arrive while waiting in the church's foyer – Annie and her family, Lovino and Antonio, the owner of the roller skate rink and many others – but he didn't catch even a glimpse of the green-eyed Omega.
He's not certain if he should be concerned or relieved as the ceremony progresses without any sign of Arthur. He can't imagine that Arthur wouldn't show up, but then again, he can't blame him for not wanting to come. Alfred himself had considered feigning an illness in the beginning, though that would've made him, singlehandedly, the worst brother ever. Arthur has no such attachments, so maybe Mattie won't be as pissed.
As he watches Lilli slowly make her way up the isle with her father, Alfred allows himself to smile. He's wanted this for his brother for a very long time, and Matthew and Lilli both look so happy, excited to spend the rest of their lives together as bonded mates, and Alfred wishes they would hurry with the proceedings so they can get what they want as quickly as possible.
And when his eyes are trailing Lilli, Alfred finally sees him.
He's sandwiched in-between Annie and Feliciano, in a pew a few rows behind the one they always sat in when they were kids. Alfred notes that Lucie, Alasdair, Scott, and Peter are there as well, all on the left side of Annie's husband David. It figures they would all be there. Regardless of what Alfred has done to their family, they probably still care for Matthew, though Alfred is admittedly somewhat bothered that they even dared to show up; but he'd known they would.
The arrangement strikes him as odd immediately. Lucie has all her children at hand, Annie and Arthur aside, who are separated from their mom and brothers by Annie's husband and their daughters. Alfred thinks Annie chose to sit apart on purpose to be closer to Arthur, who is most likely the only truly ostracized person in his family.
Alfred's eyes start to burn, though he can't allow himself a moment of weakness in front of all these people. Even without speaking to him, Alfred can tell that Arthur isn't the same person he once knew. The Omega looks well rested and calm, smiling a bit to himself as he watches Matthew and Lilli exchange vows, something Alfred himself should be doing as well. Arthur looks healthy, not haggard, as Alfred has imagined him since he read his letter; but his eyes tell a different story.
The eyes truly are windows to the soul. Even when they were kids and Arthur was a master at keeping his true emotions hidden, Alfred could tell if something was amiss just by meeting the other Omega's gaze; and while Arthur looks fine on the outside, Alfred can tell he's hurting. The green of his irises don't look as healthy as they once did. There's no fire, no light, and Alfred knows the man would rather be anywhere than in the church.
The blue-eyed Omega wants so badly to go to him, to hold Arthur's hand and remind him that, yes, their families hate them now, but at least they have each other. There are so many things he wants to say, and he's tempted to do so after the ceremony in front of the entire congregation, though he knows he can't. Today is Matthew and Lilli's day, and he's not going to cause a ruckus where everyone can witness it.
It's the hardest thing Alfred's ever had to do, but he tears his gaze away from Arthur and focuses on his brother and his mate, ignoring the other Omega completely; at least for the time being.
Afterward, Alfred is talking to Elizabeta when he feels a hand on his shoulder.
He stiffens, thinks of a dozen different possibilities as to who it is that's approached him this time, though from the look on Elizabeta's face, he doesn't need to worry. "Best wedding you've ever been apart of?" Matthew says, and his smug satisfaction over being halfway mated is obvious, though Alfred can't blame him.
"Only wedding I've ever been apart of." Alfred replies, yanking his twin into a fierce hug that's returned with equal enthusiasm. Matthew's been his support system for many years, and while Alfred knows things are going to change now that his brother's mated, he's filled with so much pride it's almost sickening. He just wants his brother to be happy, to have something that withstood all the turbulence during their shared childhood. "I can't believe this. Little Mattie's grown up."
"The three minute difference between us doesn't make me little, Al." Matthew retorts, sharing a grin with Elizabeta. "What'd you think, Lizzie?"
"All the happiness was overwhelming. I think I had to hand your mom… five tissues? Maybe six."
"I couldn't even look at her." Matthew groans. "I probably would've started crying, too. We saw Mom cry maybe once when we were kids?"
Alfred nods in confirmation, though he hadn't noticed much of anything during the ceremony, too focused on Arthur and then Matthew and Lilli after him. "Where's your wife?"
"Talking with Feliciano and Ludwig, I think. Did I ever tell you that they're roommates now, Al?"
Alfred shakes his head, though he thinks about what Feliciano told him before the wedding. He hopes his childhood friends will be more discreet than he and Arthur were, though he can't imagine anyone around here standing up to an Alpha as big and intimidating as Ludwig Bielschmidt. "Hey, I'm gonna step outside for a bit. Think you can keep Lizzie entertained while I'm gone?"
"I'm not so much of an awkward turtle that I can't socialize without you, Al." Elizabeta says even as Alfred steps away, and from the way she's looking at him, Alfred knows the Alpha isn't fooled. It's starting to hit him that this is the first time he's voluntarily been inside this church since he was sixteen, and all of his instincts are screaming for him to get out. He just needs a breather before they go back to his parents' house for the reception. "Take as long as you need."
He leaves Matthew and Elizabeta and slips through the multitude of faces, smiling at people he hasn't seen in years and promising that they'll catch up later before continuing on his way. Alfred thinks he sees his dad watching him, straying from his conversation with Lilli's father to eye his Omega son warily, though Alfred convinces himself he's imagining things and slips out relatively unnoticed, breathing a sigh of relief when he's finally out and in the fresh air.
Elizabeta, Berwald, and Tino aside, Alfred doesn't really socialize back in Brooklyn. It's too much effort, and there's so much to see that there really isn't enough time in a day to do it all. Alfred's gotten used to the hustle and bustle of the city, though in the meantime, he'd forgotten how overwhelming his hometown was. With its tiny population and size in general, the most exciting thing to do here is hang out in the barn or frequent the skating rink on Plass Avenue.
In New York, Alfred can blend in with the crowd. No one knows his name or Nature, his birthday or what he scored on his ACT. Here, everyone and their mother knows everything about him, minus the one crucial detail his parents and Lucie would probably kill to keep secret. Alfred feels like a manikin on display, every move he makes scrutinized by the people who think they can say his name as if they own him. Leaving this place was the best decision Alfred ever made, and he can't wait for this whole wedding thing to die down so he can go home.
Alfred reaches up to tug at his collar, feels that it's way too hot, even for June, and then he realizes that the air, while clean in a way it can only be in Kansas, smells of cigarette smoke.
"I'd forgotten how small this church was."
Arthur is leaning against the building, arms crossed, eyes dull, and a cigarette dangling from his thin lips. If Alfred hadn't known him, he'd say Arthur looks a bit threatening, smoking just outside a place of worship, though he does know better, so he doesn't feel anything aside from shock and intense longing, the likes of which he's never felt before, not even when Arthur was an ocean away.
"Not that the ones in Finchley are any bigger," Arthur continues, and his accent threatens to tear Alfred apart from the inside out. It was muddled back when they were kids, hardly noticeable, but now it seems completely genuine, perfect, as if Arthur has lived in England all his life. "This one just seemed larger when we were kids, you know?"
Alfred stares, because what can he say when Arthur seems determined to act as if no time has passed since they last saw one another? The older Omega seems completely at ease, puffing smoke into the air like he does it everyday – which he probably does – and Alfred wonders how much of it is genuine. "A.J."
Arthur finally looks at him, and when he blinks, his eyes start to shine, as if the sound of Alfred's voice is enough to set him off. "Pardon?"
"If your cat reminds you of me, you should just call him A.J. instead of Al. Alfred Junior."
Arthur looks incredulous, and Alfred feels ridiculously angry, because if Arthur gets to act aloof about the situation, Alfred should be able to as well; but then the older man shakes his head, smiling slightly around the cigarette in his mouth. "A.J. it is, then."
"When did you start smoking?" Alfred asks, and he knows they're both prolonging the inevitable, though he doesn't do anything about it. He's starting to inch closer, eyeing the door as if his parents will burst out any moment and douse him with holy water, but so far, there's nothing.
"It's only been a year." Arthur says, watching Alfred's progress across the grass, small though it is. "Everyone at the office took a break every so often, and I just picked up the habit."
Arthur was never one to fall into what everyone else was doing when they were younger, though Alfred supposes he doesn't know this Arthur, not really, doesn't know the lengths he took to try and deal with what happened. Alfred wants to know, though, and thinking back to the letter Annie had given him back in November, Arthur wants to tell him.
"If I got you drunk, would this be easier?" Alfred asks, mostly musing to himself, though Arthur sighs heavily, removing the cigarette from his mouth to roll it between his fingers in agitation.
"Nothing will make this easier." Arthur says, and he looks thoroughly incensed for a moment, though it dies quickly. "I suppose if I got pissed now, I wouldn't do much aside from cling to you and cry. There isn't much progress in that." This is the Arthur that Alfred remembers, the Omega boy that said exactly what was on his mind regardless of how it sounded to others. "I honestly didn't think you would show up." Arthur continues, echoing Alfred's own thoughts from earlier. "Under that assumption, I never thought about what to say."
"You think I'd miss my own brother's wedding?" They're standing less than a foot apart from one another now, Arthur still leaning against the wall while Alfred fidgets in front of him. "I'm not the scared kid I used to be, Artie."
That's not completely true, because some part of Alfred is still terrified and always will be, though Arthur doesn't call him on his bluff. "You always were talented at running, Al." Arthur says, and Alfred knows they're both thinking about that last afternoon of their childhood, when Alfred had been the one backed up against a wall. He wonders if Arthur resents him for all the trouble he caused when they were kids. He wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. "It's a shame you were never allowed to play sports."
"I'm here now, aren't I?"
"That woman you came with. She's a friend from university?"
"Yeah." Somehow Alfred knows Arthur never really thought Elizabeta was his mate. It's pathetic how enamored they are with each other after all this time, though it comforts Alfred somewhat, because even if they don't know much about each other anymore, they're still in love. "She's been amazing these past couple years. Pretty much my best friend."
Arthur is silent for a few moments. Eventually, he nods to himself, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with the heel of his dress shoe, though he doesn't get the chance to do much else as Alfred pushes him up against the side of the church building.
Arthur is quiet in Alfred's hold, completely rigid as the younger Omega hugs him fiercely, eyes pinched shut in an effort to stop the tears from building. All things considered, this hug is the least intimate thing they've ever shared, though to Alfred, it means more than any kiss or touch meant to debauch, even if Arthur seems too bewildered to reciprocate.
Eventually, Arthur huffs and holds Alfred in return, working his arms around Alfred's back and clutching tightly at the Omega's suit jacket, the one his mom had picked out for him. "You're not going to fall apart on me, are you?" Arthur asks, though his voice is quiet, like he's afraid of speaking too loudly should his voice crack under the weight of his emotions.
Maybe, Alfred thinks, because it's a wonder he hasn't started bawling like a little kid. He finally has Arthur in his arms after five years, and he honestly has no idea what to do with him. Everything he wants to say is refusing to be spoken, and aside from lurching forward to hug Arthur at the last second when he was sure the other man was going to kiss him, his body won't move.
Alfred thinks it would be better to wait and talk with Arthur in a more private setting later, where his parents won't find them and they won't run the risk of ruining Matthew and Lilli's big day with more needless drama, but he'll worry about that later. "Hey, I'm finally taller than you." Alfred says when he finally pulls away, grinning despite himself.
It's hardly noticeable, perhaps an inch and a half of difference at most, but to Alfred, who spent most of his life trying to catch up to Arthur in more ways than one, it's an obvious change. Arthur smirks slightly, hands placed firmly on Alfred's shoulders as he sizes him up. "I almost didn't notice."
"Oh, God, I missed hearing your voice."
"I daresay I share the same sentiment." Arthur muses, and his expression is genuine now, no hint of teasing. "I almost can't believe this. You were sixteen the last time I saw you. You've gotten so big."
Something about that statement strikes Alfred as hilarious, and then he's cracking up in the silence they're surrounded by, everyone who's important to them inside the church, and he can't seem to stop. Arthur is shaking his head in exasperation but doesn't fight it when Alfred pulls him closer, and that's what Elizabeta sees when she opens the door and walks outside.
"Whoa, whoa, what is this?" She exclaims, startling Arthur, who starts to pull away but can't seem to escape Alfred's hold. "It's a good thing I offered to look for you when your dad started asking questions. Alfred, what the heck are you doing?"
"This is Arthur, Lizzie." He says, still laughing as he watches her take it all in. She's never seen him like this, doesn't know the Alfred Jones that ran through these streets in his youth, laughing and smiling without a care in the world. "We haven't seen each other in over five years and he thinks I've gotten big."
"Wow, I think you broke him." Elizabeta says, speaking to Arthur, who is too stunned to do much of anything. "Yowza, look at them eyebrows. Oh, right, you're British, I forgot. Quick, say 'God save the Queen'!"
Alfred cuts off anything Arthur might say by pulling him into a deep kiss. There will be plenty of opportunities for Arthur and Elizabeta to bicker in the future, and Alfred wants the man all to himself for the time being.
After the wedding, Arthur had to go back to England. Of course he did, Alfred was expecting that, though they made sure to exchange addresses and phone numbers before separating for the second time, in a less somber manner than the first.
Living on his own in Brooklyn was easier after Matthew's wedding. Alfred didn't feel quite as bitter, not as sad, and for the first time in a long while, he could actually envision a future for himself that didn't include him never being completely happy.
Though slow a process it was, his relationship with his mom started to get better. Instead of Alfred calling home, she was the one reaching out to him, either to gush about how cute Matthew and Lilli were now that they were mated or just to see how Alfred's day went. She even asked about Arthur on a few occasions, though Alfred had a suspicion that she would only dare to do so if his dad wasn't home.
He was always careful never to mention anything that might have set her off, though she was always pressing for more details – some things he simply refused to disclose – and after Alfred graduated college, she was the first person to know that Arthur was returning to America, and that he and Alfred were going to get a place together.
She'd actually wanted them to move back to Allen, and while Alfred had blatantly refused, his outrage over the suggestion wasn't nearly as explosive as Arthur's when he finally told him.
"She can't be serious."
"But that's the thing. She kinda is."
"Bloody brilliant!" Arthur laughed bitterly, and Alfred held the phone an inch or so away from his ear while his boyfriend continued on, unable to keep from smiling despite the situation. "Like Hell either of us would ever go back there aside from an occasional visit."
"She just misses us, I think. Or, misses the way things used to be. I can't say I blame her."
"I would never let you go to Allen by yourself, let alone consent to start a life with you there. Caroline has obviously gone senile."
Alfred sighed. If anyone hated his hometown more than he did, it was most definitely Arthur. "I tried to tell her that without being rude or let on how upset I was that she even mentioned it, but it was difficult. She must know we'd have to hide what we are to each other. We'd have to be roommates there, nothing more, like Feliciano and Ludwig."
"Never again." Arthur's rage seemed to have left him, replaced by a melancholy that Alfred shouldn't have been able to sense over the phone. The Omega had to remind himself that Arthur would be back in a little less than two weeks, and once he was there, Alfred could finally begin to undo all the pain their childhood had caused. "We were always too big for that town, Al."
Neither of them was keen on settling down in a city like Brooklyn nor a small town like Allen, so they met somewhere in the middle, choosing to relocate themselves to Topeka, Kansas. In the end, it spiraled down to staying relatively close to Matthew and Annie, as well as the fact that a teaching position had opened up at a local high school that suited Alfred.
Arthur was in favor of Alfred taking the job, though Alfred had been somewhat reluctant. The deciding factor was that the high school was a Catholic one. Having grown up in a similar community all his life, Alfred felt he could better understand the students there and help them by calling on instances from his own life. Alfred found out fairly quickly that he really did enjoy working with high school students, though he'd tested it out back in Brooklyn as a student teacher, so it wasn't much of a shock.
By the time Arthur returned from England and Alfred received his degree, Lilli and Matthew were expecting their first child and Annie was expecting her third. Alfred, Elizabeta, and Annie had already driven down to Topeka to look for apartments or modest houses by then. Alfred had decided on an apartment without really consulting Arthur, though the other Omega had stressed many times before that he honestly didn't care where they lived so long as the commute to work wasn't unreasonable. They didn't need much space anyway, at least not at that point in time.
Living with Arthur was pretty perfect for lack of better words – Arthur was the English major, not Alfred. It took a while to get back into the swing of things, especially since the two of them had acquired new habits and quirks over their time spent apart. Arthur couldn't seem to go even a day without smoking and came home drunk a lot, Alfred left his underwear lying around and was way too touchy about certain subjects, and neither of them could cook very well. Alfred found himself missing his friends back in Brooklyn, and Arthur was getting used to companionship again after spending so many years shutting himself away from the world.
Thankfully, Sally and A.J. got along pretty well, though there were times when Alfred came home from work to find the fluffy Main Coon licking his wounds while Sally looked on from her perch atop the television.
It took a while to get used to, walking around their neighborhood or going to the grocery store together, even holding hands if they wanted to. No one even looked at them twice, and the first time Alfred kissed Arthur in public, free of any inhibitions, Arthur started crying so badly they had to cut the outing short.
Alfred looks back on that day with a mixture of fondness and regret, remembering how Arthur had apologized profusely on the drive back to the apartment, still crying, admitting that he never thought they'd ever be able to enjoy such luxuries as public displays of affection.
They approached everything at a snail's pace, all too content to let things happen naturally rather than jump into anything before they were ready. There were still issues they had to work through, like Lucie's refusal to acknowledge Arthur's existence or Alfred's dad's own struggle to push past years of thinking under the logistics of the Bible to learn to accept his son again.
It was exceedingly difficult, and oftentimes Alfred found himself wondering if any of it had been worth it. Those were the days when Arthur had to stay late at the office and Alfred found himself home alone with the cats and his thoughts; but then Arthur would show up an hour or so after dinner, tired and smelling of cigarette smoke yet still managing to smile despite everything, and the Omega found himself suddenly okay; shaken, but okay.
Surprisingly, nothing feels real or permanent until the night Alfred wakes up in a cold sweat, vision swimming and insides burning as he realizes he's gone into heat. He's been expecting it, had taken the week off of work in preparation, but he's totally caught-off guard, exhausted and already wishing for the end of this week.
He sits up in the dimly lit room, clawing at the sheets as he prepares to get up in search of Sally, but then he feels a shift in the bed beside him. "Alfred?" The Omega freezes, one leg swung over the edge of the bed. When he turns his head, he finally remembers about Arthur, still half-asleep, propped up on his elbows and blond hair in complete disarray as he squints over at Alfred. "What… are you doing?"
Alfred twitches, barely concealing a desperate whine. He'd been so disoriented he hadn't even remembered that his boyfriend was actually there, ready and willing to help him through this, having had taken the week off of work as well. But Alfred's terrified, has never had a reason to look forward to his heats before, and even if Arthur is here with him, he's afraid something will go wrong.
It's like that afternoon in the barn all over again, every doubt and insecurity Alfred's ever had rearing their ugly heads, taking hold of his mind and refusing to let go, and Arthur's fully awake now, Alfred's scent having reached him. "Alfred." He says quietly. "Do you want me?"
Alfred wonders if Arthur expects him to run again, to hide from his fears rather than face them, and the Omega part of his brain wants to do just that. But the Alfred part does want Arthur. It isn't a question of whether or not Alfred needs Arthur, because that would rely too heavily on instincts rather than desire, something they've been challenging all their lives, and Alfred finds himself falling in love with Arthur all over again.
Alfred forgets about the cats completely and pulls himself back onto the bed, sliding underneath the covers and latching onto Arthur, trying to ignore how gross he feels. "Just… be with me for a bit." He mumbles, face pressed against Arthur's collarbone as he breathes in the other Omega's scent.
Arthur nods, and his body is so warm as he drops his face into Alfred's hair, kisses him, holds him close. "I love you. It'll be okay."
And somehow, Alfred manages a laugh, mostly at the expense of everyone and everything that ever tried to make this impossible for them, because here they are, two male Omegas, just lying in bed together with no "true" intimacy involved, and it's everything Alfred always imagined it would be.