"Sam, Sammy, you home?" Nothing.
Cas is looking concerned, I wonder if that deeply furrowed brow is his, or something left from Jimmy.
"Crowley? Hey, Crowley!" At least he can't have gone anywhere.
Sam looks tired, walking up the stairs from Crowley's dungeon, his hair is thinning. Normally I would give him shit about that; but it happened to one of Lisa's friends. But the smile he gives to Cas; oh, Crap, fuck, shit. Cas doesn't know what I told Sam—about Cas' leaving. Cas moves forward looking horribly as though he might hug Sam, and Sam freezes. Half a dozen, maybe ten expressions cross Sammy's face, then Sam steps back, and nods a little suspiciously at Cas, his smile a little strained, too long a pause before anyone speaks, "I thought running off for a half-assed reason was my thing."
Cas looks at me. Sam looks at me. Damn.
"Sammy, oh, Saaammmy." Crowley.
"Shut up Crowely!" Sam and I react simultaneously.
"Oh, Sammy, you promised me donuts." That's Crowley, not shutting up.
I know there is an annoyed look on my face. I'm allowed an annoyed look on my face in my own home.
"Dean," Sam looks exasperated, at least I'm used to his bitch faces, I image they will only get worse now, "I can explain."
I raise my eyebrows at him—he had better be able to explain.
"I bought donuts…"
"Sam!" I just don't like it when he lies. Why would I think he is lying? Sam's so good at lying even I have trouble with his tells. Why in the hell would he be telling me about buying donuts? What I want to know is what the fuck he is doing hanging out with a demon? A demon and donuts? Lisa said that pregnancy makes you stupid, but this stupid? Or maybe it's not the baby, maybe it's just Sam. Fuck, Sammy, fuck, you're going to have a baby.
"He bought his usual two dozen donuts, and I asked politely for one, before he eats them all again."
"Shut up Crowley!" Sam and me again.
"Crowley! Your damn donut is coming." Then Sam turns on me, clearly still annoyed, "Crowley and I have been doing some research, Dean." Then he looks at Cas, "There may be a way to reverse the spell, something that Metatron didn't write down."
I know I shouldn't feel angry, it's not exactly like Sam is consorting with a demon, but he should have mentioned to me what he and Crowley were doing, invited me even, we all know I wouldn't have done it, but still, you know. And then there's Sam's donut addiction.
"Where've you been by the way Dean?"
Was it necessary to be that bitchy? I guess he is pregnant. Shit, fuck, Zeke got Sam pregnant.
Then Cas, thank god for Cas, "He came to get me."
Pause.
"Sam…" Oh, god, shut-up-Cas. "Could I have a donut? I've developed a liking for them."
Crowley yells from the basement, "So has our little Sammy."
In the basement with donuts:
Sam has the donuts, and yeah there are a lot of donuts, that works, and Sam, Cas, Crowley and me are sitting in the dungeon. I could do with Crowley being a little less chatty, but he and Sam have a "fox hole" thing going. Long story (and between Sam and Crowley it is plenty long) short, what Zeke said was true, we need all the same ingredients, and Sam and Crowley are working on the wording for the thing. Oh, and we might, or might not, no one is sure yet, need an angel to recite the incantation. Great. And, since Sam seems to think he is running things here, he thought I could find Cas (done, score one for me) and Cas and I could track down some angels, and pick the best candidates for, you know, things.
Then comes the problem. "Problem is," Says Sam, looking serious (and more tired), "is that we can't find any references as to where we would find a Nephilim." Sam seems unconcerned about killing it—kill it like you would kill any other monster.
"I believe I killed the last one."
Yeah, I know that Cas, except it's not quite the last one.
I can't do this, I absolutely cannot do this. I leave the room.
"Dean," Sam is coming after me, tired or not he still moves fast, "What the fuck man?" His hands are spread out, he looks like he could reach out and shake the truth out of me. Maybe he should shake it out of me. But he doesn't. This is Sam so he tells me all about it. "I thought you would be down with this, thought this was all what we all wanted." He has his Sam concerned and confused all at the same time look spread over his face, "Is this about Crowley?"—insert horrified face—"There's nothing between me and Crowley." Now he's on to puzzled and worried. "I didn't mean to exclude you. Dean?" Yeah, well, he did. I need to find the nearest door so I can walk out.
Not in the basement with donuts:-
Its later, much later, that Cas comes to find me, sitting on my bed, drinking from the flask that is definitely making an appearance back in my daily life. He sits down too close to me, and I can't move away. I don't know which Cas this is, lost angel Cas, or caring human Cas, or real Cas, who always has been somewhere in between.
"Dean." Cas clasps his hands together and looks ahead, he always looks as though he is praying when he does that, 'You once told me that people lie to protect others."
He just waits for me.
"Sam, Cas, I'm protecting Sam."