Chapter 2 - Closer: "Moods that take me, and erase me."
Taking a shaky breath, Penny stood, picking up both coffee mugs. "I guess we both owe each other explanations," she said quietly, before heading through to the kitchen.
Leonard waited where he was on the couch, hearing the taps switch on. Unsure of if he should follow her or not, he simply sat there, helping himself to a cookie. Once more, he looked around the living room, trying to accept that this was where she was living, and judging by the amount of stuff, had been living for a while. He leaned forwards slightly, trying to read the dates on the magazines to see if he could work out just how long she had been living here, not moving any of them around in case she noticed and thought he was being nosy.
"You okay?" Penny asked as she came back in, raising a brow when she found him leaning forwards, his brow furrowed.
"Huh?" He looked up quickly, before sitting properly again. "Oh, yeah, I was just seeing what magazines you had here."
Penny shrugged. "Just gossip ones, as usual. I keep the good ones in my bedroom." She blushed slightly before adding "and by that, I mean Vogue."
Chuckling, he nodded and stood. "Sure. Mind if I use your bathroom?"
"Go ahead." Penny smiled, gesturing to the door.
Watching him leave, Penny's head fell forwards, and she found herself staring anxiously at her feet. It was getting late. Should she ask if he wanted to stay? Was that too forward? She wanted to talk to him, but at the same time she didn't want to talk about it, because she hated talking about it. Yet at the same time, she needed to talk about it. They needed to talk about it. Sighing, she shuffled through to the bedroom, deciding to wait for him in there. In any case, she needed to charge her phone, and her phone charger was by her bed. Walking over to the bedside table nearest the door, she sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, her mind still trying to work out what she was meant to do. Shaking her head, she stood back up, leaning forward to pick up the end of the charging cable to connect to her phone.
Unable to help himself, Leonard grinned at the sight of Penny bent forward, her perfect ass practically on display in those light blue jeans. Realizing she was standing back up, he quickly cleared his throat and looked away, his eyes briefly flickering to the picture he'd been looking at earlier, landing finally on his freshly-washed hands. The soap by the sink was coconut, and the scent reminded him of the body moisturizer she used back in Pasadena.
Before he could allow his mind to wander any further, he blurted out "I should probably go, it's getting late."
"Oh," was all Penny could respond with. For a moment she simply stared at him, disappointment written all over her face, before she kicked back into gear. "Where are you staying?"
"Uh, at a hotel, it's about twenty minutes from the theater by sub-I mean tube- on the... hold on, here," digging into his pocket, he pulled out a small slip of paper on which he'd jotted down how to get to the diner he'd been at earlier, near her theater.
Studying his notes quickly, she smiled slightly at the same messy handwriting she had become accustomed to as his neighbor, friend and girlfriend. The same writing which would jot notes for her such as 'out of coffee, borrowed yours', or 'be ready to go out for dinner at 6, love you x' - things she could still remember looking at now. The fact that this piece of paper with his handwriting said neither of those things jolted her back to the present, and she shook her head. "That's the other end of the city to me."
"Right." That didn't help him much... in the slightest.
"You could get the tube," Penny began, before checking the time on her phone and frowning, "or not, since the last one was two minutes ago. Sorry." She offered him a meek, apologetic shrug. "But you can try calling a cab?"
"Yeah, I probably should."
"Or you could stay here." The words fell from Penny's mouth without her realizing that they had even done so. But she didn't back down, deciding that if she'd put the offer on the table, she may as well keep it there.
"I..." Leonard hesitated for a moment, unsure if this was really the best idea. It was convenient; he didn't particularly want to be travelling alone in the dark, it was late, and most of all - he was really enjoying her company. "Alright, yeah. That sounds great."
"Great!" Whoa, I need to calm down a little. "I'll sleep on the couch, you can stay here, I'll just get you some clean sheets and stuff."
"Oh, no, you don't have to do that, it's fine."
"Okay, well, I'll get you some fresh towels. They're just in the bathroom." Walking past him, she went to fetch them from the bottom shelf of the cabinet. He'd followed her in, so she handed them over and gestured to the shower. "The switch is the other way to the little pictures on the taps - the one that shows shower is actually the bath, and the bath one is actually the shower. The hot water takes a few seconds to come through so don't get in the shower straight away."
"Okay, thanks."
"No problem. I'm gonna leave you to it then, let me know when you're done."
With that, she headed out, shutting the door behind her. It felt slightly surreal - for so long she hadn't seen him, or spoken to him, and now within a few hours of seeing him again he was staying over. What felt even weirder was how... civil this was. The last time she'd seen him, they would have showered together, and then cuddled up in bed, warm beneath her comforter with his arms around her. Things she missed dearly. Releasing a heavy sigh, she pulled open the drawer beneath her bed, grabbing a sheet and two blankets. She had no spare pillows, so would have to make do with the cushions from the couch. Dumping the stuff onto the couch, she headed back into the bedroom to collect her pajamas from her bed.
About to leave to go get changed in the living room, she gasped as she remembered her chew toy in the bed. He definitely didn't need to be finding that as he went to sleep. Grabbing it, she looked around her room before shoving it into her underwear drawer. For a moment she listened to the shower run, before shaking her head abruptly and leaving to go back to the living room. Absent-mindedly, she got out of her clothes and into her pajamas, before laying the sheet across the couch and re-arranging the cushions, before laying the blankets out so she could get under them once she had washed up. It wasn't going to be particularly comfortable, but it would do for the night. Pacing around nervously, she decided to tidy up a little, stacking her magazines neatly and taking the empty mugs through to the kitchen to wash up at some point.
"Hey, I'm done," Leonard popped his head round the living room door, immediately trying to distract his mind from how great she looked in her pink pajama shorts and camisole.
"Great." Penny nodded slowly, her eyes wandering over his topless torso and boxer shorts. What happened to his white t-shirt? Did he purposefully decide not to wear it? She remembered then that he only wore his white t-shirt in bed, and it was highly unlikely that he'd carry it around with him. Following him back through the bedroom, she glanced at the bed, wishing she'd thought to at least make the bed a little, rather than leave the covers in a twisted mess and one of the pillows in the middle of the bed. "Sorry, I should have tidied up the bed for you."
"Don't worry about it."
"Okay, if you're sure. I'll just go wash up."
Closing the bathroom door behind her, Penny took a deep breath as she headed over to the sink. Apparently the cat just never died. Shaking her head, she pulled out a make-up wipe, wishing she didn't feel so suddenly self-conscious of Leonard seeing her without her face made up. He'd seen her like this plenty of times before, but now it felt so... revealing. Well, not as revealing as her pajamas and his decision not to wear a t-shirt, she thought, as she caught sight of her top half in the mirror. With a slightly guilty smirk, she set about washing her face and brushing her teeth. She took another deep breath before opening the bathroom door, her breath instantly catching at the sight of Leonard in her bed, topless.
"Oh! Hey." She bit her lip. "You look comfortable."
"Yeah," he grinned, "I am."
"That's good." Rubbing her hands together, she stood awkwardly for a moment. "I'm just gonna grab my phone quickly." Walking round to collect it, she paused to switch on the nightlight for him, before stopping at the door on her way out. "I'll switch off the main light for you so you don't have to get out of bed when you want to go to sleep."
"Aw, thank you." Leonard grinned, tilting his head up slightly; the grin that Penny always found incredibly adorable.
"You're welcome." She gave a small nod, before returning a warm smile. "Goodnight, Leonard."
"G'night, Penny."
Trudging back to the living room, Penny sighed as she shut off the light and made her way over to the couch with the light of her phone to see where she was going. She lay down, pulling the blankets up to her chin, staring at the ceiling. It was colder in here, and the couch wasn't comfortable. The cushions weren't as soft and there was no room to spread out. All she could think about was how much more warm and comfortable she'd be cuddled up in bed with Leonard. Closing her eyes, she tried to distract her mind. Running her lines through her mind, listing the stations she passed on her tube journey from her apartment to work, thinking about what groceries she needed to buy over the week.
None of it worked.
Groaning, she flung the blankets off her body, and stood up to begin pacing. Maybe if she kept walking she'd exhaust herself and she'd be forced to fall asleep and stop thinking about Leonard. If she'd anticipated seeing Leonard today, or him staying over, she wouldn't have had so much coffee throughout the day. Acting was tiring, both mentally and physically, but not tiring enough for this situation. There were too many emotions running through her right now, fuelling her with energy that she wished would go away. She wondered if Leonard was going through the same right now, or if he was just going to sleep. Probably not, she thought to herself with a giggle, he was the one who was always overthinking things, this was probably driving him crazy. Though she couldn't know that for sure, he might be a lot more cool about these things now. Unlike me, she rolled her eyes, as she sat down and drummed her fingers on her thighs.
No, this absolutely wasn't working.
Penny stood as though hit by a volt of electricity. Her legs carried her out of the living room, and she knew her heart was leading her. Stopping outside the bedroom door, she hesitated slightly, but didn't stop herself from knocking lightly. Sheldon had been right all those years ago - it was weird knocking on your own door. "Leonard?"
"Yeah?"
Opening the door slightly, she peeked inside. "Can I come in?"
"Uh, sure, it's your room, after all."
"I know, but I just wanted to make sure it was okay with you." Penny explained, stepping inside and closing the door again. He was still sat up in bed, and he put his phone down onto the bedside table as she came in.
As she stood there, Penny realized that she had no idea what to say or do now. Leonard simply watched as her mouth opened and closed a few times.
"Are you okay?" He asked after a moment, when she still hadn't said anything.
"What?" Penny blinked. "Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm..." Her shoulders slouched over as she released a breath that seemed to deflate her. "I couldn't sleep."
"Well it's only been like... five minutes."
"I know, but," Penny shifted her weight impatiently, "I just feel really awake, you know?"
Leonard sighed and nodded slowly. "Yeah... yeah, I know." He frowned, before shuffling over in the bed slightly and pulling back a corner of the covers, lightly patting at the empty space beside him, inviting her to join him.
Penny smiled. Something else that was odd: being invited into your own bed. Hoping her heart rate would slow down, she sat gently down on the edge of the bed, swinging her legs up and nestling them beneath the covers. Automatically, he put an arm around her, and she leaned her head against his chest. It calmed her to find that his heart was also going a few paces faster than usual.
For a few minutes, they simply sat like this, in silence, finally comfortable. At one point, she draped her arm over his stomach, deciding she much preferred him without the t-shirt. His hand began to draw small patterns on her arm, and Penny realized that this moment itself was the happiest she had felt since they'd last been like this, in his bed in Pasadena.
Penny lifted her head slightly to look up at him, and Leonard's eyes immediately found hers. Her lips curled into a little smile, and he pressed his lips lightly to her forehead, closing his eyes. Humming a contented "mm", her eyes fluttered closed.
When their lips met, neither knew who had initiated the kiss. But neither of them stopped it.