Chapter 9 - 36 Hours: "You have suffered enough, and warred with yourself."

Penny's lips crashed to Leonard's in response, her hands cupping his face. Tears fell from her eyes for a whole new reasons; crying from happiness was something she hadn't experienced in a long time. Pulling away, she looked into his eyes. Her hands slid down to his shoulders. "Don't you dare ever scare me like that again, Leonard Hofstadter." Her voice was firm and expression stern, but only for a moment, as both faded softly at her next words. "Let's go back."

Wiping a tear from her cheek, he nodded. "Okay. If that's what you want, we can go back. But you don't need to decide right now, if you don't want to."

"No, I want to go back." Penny said firmly. "I came here to get away from everything that could hurt me and get a fresh perspective. As much as I love my job... being here will always remind me that I only came here to find a way of coping. I could tell you how many days it took me before I got out of bed without forcing myself, or how many nights I lay awake hating myself because I wanted to cry, or how many times I came home wishing you were there so I could tell you what lines I messed up in rehearsal or something funny that had happened in the show that night. I'm not kidding, I could tell you the exact dates those things didn't happen for the first time. And they're the reasons I don't want to stay here. I don't want to remember them. So even though Pasadena is where I was getting away from, it's where I met you and it's the last place my life felt whole, so I want to go back and I want to just move past everything that happened and just remember it as something I learned from."

"Wow." Leonard said through the lump in his throat. What always struck him were these moments - these moments where she would let everything go and surprise him with just how much she was feeling, and just how strongly. He nodded slowly, running a hand through her hair. "Okay. We can go back."

"Thank you." Penny whispered.

He took his hands in hers, bringing them to his lips to kiss along her fingers and knuckles. As he unfurled them to kiss her palms, he frowned at the fingernail shaped marks and cuts in her skin; marks and cuts which still looked raw. "What happened?" He asked quietly, searching her eyes.

She didn't look away from him, but turned quiet. "I was angry. The pain distracts me from the emotional pain. I do that when I'm angry." Penny admitted after a moment, shyly.

"Don't do that." He kissed across her palms gently, over each of the marks, her eyes closing as her lip trembled slightly. "You don't have to be angry anymore." She nodded slightly. "Penny, promise me. Please don't hurt yourself like that anymore."

Blinking her eyes open, she watched him for a moment as she steadied her tears. "I don't have any reason to be angry anymore." She told him. "I promise I won't do that anymore. I promise." She leaned forward and placed her lips over his.

This time, his lips responded to hers. The kiss was slow and gentle, but full of meaning.

Once more, Penny pulled back to look at him. "Leonard?"

"Mmhmm?" He blinked his eyes open to look at her.

"You know the other night when I told you that I loved you?"

"Yeah."

"I meant it."

"I meant it too."

Smiling, Penny leaned forward to kiss him again. "I love you, Leonard."

"I love you too, Penny."

This time, the kiss escalated. Their tongues battled for dominance, claiming each others mouths, begging for more. Soft moans began to escape them as their faces flushed and hands made their way across each others bodies. Penny maneuvered herself slightly, placing one leg over the other side of him, so she was straddling him. Easily the most comfortable she had even been on this couch.

Lying in the wake of their love making and everything that had happened in between, Penny smiled to herself as Leonard brought their linked hands up to his mouth, kissing her hand lightly. His other arm stretched out beneath her head, these hands also linked and resting on her pillow.

"Don't you think it's a bit unfair for you be a genius at everything?" Penny asked with a smirk on her face; the first words that had left her mouth since screaming his name the last time.

"What d'you mean?"

Tilting her head up to look at him, Penny raised her brows. "You know what I mean."

Thinking it over for a few seconds, Leonard's mouth opened slightly as he let out an "ahh" when he understood what she was talking about.

"Mm." Sighing contentedly, she closed her eyes for a moment, before opening them again and tilting her head up once more to look at him. "At least I get the benefits of you being the genius of everything. You're my genius."

"I'm your genius? I like it." Leonard smiled, placing a light kiss on her forehead.

"Uh-huh." Penny nodded slightly. "Can you believe I went nearly two years without any of this?"

"I just can't believe it's almost two years that we didn't see each other." Leonard frowned.

"I know. It feels like so much longer." Penny turned her head so her cheek rested on his chest. "This question is kinda personal, I... okay, this whole time, I haven't - well, apart from my chew toy - I haven't been with another guy. Like, in any way. Which is lame, I know, so if you-"

"No, I haven't." Leonard said, before she could finish her sentence.

"Oh, good. I didn't want to pretend I was okay with it if you did."

"Penny, it took me like two years to ask you out, you should know that this wouldn't have been sufficient time for me to have made a move yet." Leonard chuckled a little at his own expense.

"True. But still. You never know." Penny shrugged a shoulder up to her ear. "You know, it took me this long to learn that rebound sex is not a good idea. Like, it was bad, but I had my chew toy when I really needed it." Suddenly, she cringed, flinging her hand from the pillow to her face. "Oh God."

"What?" Leonard began to worry instantly.

"Okay, this is really bad. It's been dealt with, and I didn't even know about it, but... it's still really bad."

"What is it?"

"Umm... you remember when we were broken up? And you were with Priya? And I was kinda dating Zack?"

"Yeah..."

"Well... okay, so you know, when you get drunk, and you do really stupid things? I was talking to my therapist about Zack and why we got together, and, uh, this one time when we went to Vegas for Thanksgiving."

"Vegas for Thanksgiving? Wow."

"I know. So, umm, here's the thing. I was telling her about this chapel we went to and... long story short, what I thought was a joke, turns out to be... well, let's just say I got an annulment."

"An annulment?!" Leonard exclaimed, the only thing preventing him from sitting up in shock being Penny's head on his chest.

"Yes. Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"

"You were married to Zack?"

"Not on purpose! I didn't know I was!"

Taking a few seconds to process this in his mind, Leonard took a few deep breaths, allowing himself to calm down. It helped; she didn't know about it, and she'd sorted it out, and she'd told him the truth - he didn't really like that it had happened but it could be a lot worse. And anyway, it didn't affect their current situation. "Okay."

"Okay?" Penny blinked up at him.

"Yeah. If you didn't know about it and you sorted it out, then I'm okay with that. It's... weird, but... the past is the past."

Breathing a huge sigh of relief, Penny dropped her forehead to just below his neck. "Thank you. Thank you for understanding and not getting mad." Lifting her head again, she bit her lip. "You have no idea how relieved I am that you don't hate me for that."

"As if I could ever hate you." He inched his head up slightly to kiss her softly, before dropping back down onto the pillows.

"You are a wonderful human being, you know that?" Penny smiled, turning over and shifting her body slightly to rest her arms on his chest, and her head on top of her right hand.

"That's... quite a statement." Leonard raised his brows in surprise, bending his arm to draw patterns on her back, realizing that she was being genuine. "Thank you."

"I mean it." Penny said seriously.

"Well, you," Leonard brought his other hand to gently tap her nose, which made her grin and squirm a little, "are a wonderful, strong, loving, kind, caring, funny and beautiful human being. And I mean it."

"Thank you." Penny whispered softly, shutting her eyes for a moment. It had been a long time since anybody had said something that honest and kind about her. Sure, it was great to hear 'you're such a great actress' and other caring, supporting things from her friends and family. But words like those coming from somebody who you loved so deeply were special to her heart, and she let his voice process in her mind, that it was really him saying those things to her. After a while, she opened them again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"That feeling never went away, you know. The fact that I loved you. The whole time, I knew that I was still in love with you. Of all the emotions I felt, that one was always the strongest and it never went away. Even when I got weaker, how much I loved you didn't get weaker. After I told you I couldn't do this anymore... I wished I'd told you, for the last time, that I love you." Penny brought her left hand up to his face, her fingers stroking gently along his cheek. "If I could tell you one final thing, it would be that I can't let go of the fact that I love you."

"You're really going to make me cry, you know that?"

Shaking her head slowly, Penny lifted her body slightly, shuffling her body upwards so she could kiss him softly on the lips. "Don't. I know I always say that if I cry, you're gonna cry... but if you cry, then I am definitely going to cry. And I've done a lot of that."

"Okay," he nodded, placing a light kiss on her lips in return. "No crying. I'll give you a break."

"Good." Penny shuffled her body back down a little to rest her head on his chest. She traced patterns across his stomach, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. His fingers stroked soothingly across her arm, back and shoulders, and after a while that turned into a light massage. A thought suddenly crossed her mind, and she grinned wickedly as she lifted her body so she could straddle him. Placing her elbows on either side of his chest, between his arms and body, she brought her hands together to rest her chin in them.

"What're you doing?" Leonard asked, raising a brow as she settled into her new position.

"Well, you remember me telling you that I used to do this thing after breakups where I'd just have thirty six hours of rebound sex?" Her eyes glinted as she bit her lip.

"Uh-huh," Leonard's lip curled slightly, confused.

"See... we haven't seen each other for nearly two years. So, even if we weren't ever officially broken up... we were still kinda broken up. And that means we owe each other thirty six hours of just sex."

"Ah." His lips curled into a smile, and then a grin, as he began to understand what she was suggesting. "Thirty six hours, huh?"

"Yup." Running her hands up his chest, she stopped at his shoulders. "Oh. Except for when I have work tomorrow night. So that's like, a four hour break."

"Okay." Leonard chuckled. "I guess that break will come in useful."

"Yeah, probably." Penny agreed, her fingers pressing a little harder into his skin; just thinking of what they were about to do was beginning to excite her.

"Do we factor in food and coffee breaks?"

"Just because we're in the kitchen doesn't mean anything has to stop." Penny bit her bottom lip, slowly grinding herself against him.

"Oh. Mm'kay. Sounds good."

"Mmhmm. It does." Penny leaned forward, placing her mouth over his.

Getting lost in the moment, it was only when Penny's tongue entered his mouth that Leonard suddenly stopped and opened his eyes. "Mm, wai-"

"What?" Penny pulled back, slightly breathless already.

"I'll need to meet with my boss to tell him I'm not going to be joining them. I'd leave it for after the thirty six hours but... I should probably let him know in advance."

"Uh huh. That's fine with me." Penny's lips trailed his jaw.

"Mm. Okay. So what do you think if, tomorrow night, we go back to the hotel instead? If we're splitting the time might as well split the locations."

"Perfect."