Author's Note: This story was written according to events I would NOT want to happen in my own life. I thought it would be interesting to write a story about events that many would not like to happen. Please do NOT think of me as a terrible Naruto fan for this chapter. Thank you and sorry for the late update.
Newspaper: By far this is not a dream, it is a living nightmare! The damage has escalated all over the world. Europe's paper mummies are now found on every street. People are strained to avoid the streets, but how long could they last without supplies? The storm seems to decrease at some moments during the day, but it does not diminish long enough for the many people out there to restock on supplies. The attacks of the giant animals in Africa have decreased. They are far too small in number to be everywhere however once they reach a certain country or area, they produce masses of damage. The number of shark attacks and flooding in Australia has increased drastically over the past week. No deaths have been reported, nevertheless there is a large number of causalities. Sharks and other sea creatures have been washing out on the shores, attacking people, then returning to the sea. South America has severe complications. The meat eater plants have already devoured several citizens for fighting back and trying to protect their families. The plants have gone crazy, attacking children and elderly. The people have begun to fight back with fire, yet still they are only a small majority compared to the whole continent filled with plants. On the other hand, Asia is just a battle field. It has far too much death and destruction. The natural disasters have decrease while the puppet army attacks have vanished. There is still no news from North America. It is far too quiet in that section of the world.
Chapter 4- A Way Out
I took a quick and refreshing shower and headed downstairs to check up on Nora. Once I neared the living room I heard an odd chant. "To Madara we shall obey and those who fail to follow must be destroyed. He is our savior. He is our king. He is our master". Activating my sharingan, I held a kunai strong in my hands then walked cautiously toward the noise.
Once I had entered the living room, I found myself watching the television that was broadcasting a large sharingan implanted right in the middle of its screen. The chant was echoing from it, while Nora sat on the couch repeating everything it said. I bit my bottom lip with frustration hard enough to break through its skin barrier then taste my own blood. How bitter it was for me to realize that Madara was moving through his plans much earlier than I had anticipated. I knew he was planning on controlling most of North America through television, however why was he being hasty in his ground plan toward complete domination?
I shook my head slightly to bring myself back to concentrate on what was currently happening. I had to get Nora out of that genjutsu for she must be drowning in it by now. I couldn't help but feel the revulsion inside of me as she continued to chant that uninspiring chant. Looking around, I headed toward their kitchen table to grab a chair. Without a second thought, I held it tightly in my hands then threw it forcefully onto the television only to manage severe cracks onto its screen. However, even with the screen cracked, the sharingan was still present and the broadcasting chant persisted to continue. Heaving a heavy sigh, I walked to the outlet and unplugged the television from the wall then walked up to Nora. She was still under the jutsu, chanting with a blank stare on her face. It was a sad sight to see how she was transformed from this innocent girl to this mindless puppet.
I couldn't stop myself from grabbing onto her shoulders and allowing my chakra flow to pass through her body. It was a surprise to me that nothing happened. She was still chanting the garbage Madara had said. I grabbed her again by her petite shoulders, with more forceful and intensity, then made her face my sharingan counteracting the genjutsu with my own then erasing it from her sight. She fell on the couch with a gasp.
"Are you alright?" I asked her with concern.
"Yes, I'm fine", I gasped for air. I was breathing heavily now. "All I remember", I said aloud unconscious of my own actions, "was Madara promising us things then all of a sudden I was in this amazing world. It was at peace and everything was happy", I hugged myself and began to cry, "It was… it was so beautiful".
He walked over and sat next to me. He placed his arm around my shoulder and said, "It's okay. I'm here and I won't let anything happen to you".
I looked up at him and met his gaze. It was gentle and alluring. With no a second thought, I allowed myself to lean further into him. An odd temptation filled me to reach for his crimson lips just to touch them ever so gently… however, I pushed the temptation to the back of my mind as I moved away from him at the last second. I drew myself back with embarrassment as I had realized that he was quite conscious of my actions and, even worse, my thoughts.
"We must head out now", he said while get up off the couch. He avoided meeting my eyes again as I was afraid to meet his gaze as well. I created an awkward atmosphere between us that I had regretted completely.
I thought about what had just happened when I realize that something Madara had said stood out to me. "Itachi", I called to him with a mutter, "Madara said that he had severed his origin and killed his master… what did he mean by that?" I was afraid to ask for I thought I knew the answer.
Itachi sighed and lowered his head and set his sight on the ground. "It could mean only one thing", he turned around and faced me, "The Supervisor is dead".
I placed my hand over my mouth and wept. "He's died! He couldn't have! Please no!" I looked at Itachi as he kept his eyes away from mine. Slowly, I got up in realization with my mouth open in disbelief, "You knew about this didn't you?!"
"I did", he confessed finally looking at me straight in the eyes, "but I couldn't tell you".
I walked up to him. "THE GREATEST LEADER OF ALL TIME IS DEAD AND IT IS ALL BECAUSE OF ME! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU NOT WARN ME?! WE COULD HAVE SAVED HIS LIFE!" I yelled at him. "I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU!" I spat. This is entirely my fault! I thought miserably. He died because of me! Brutally killed! But there was a way to fix it, I thought ignorantly. I rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the sharpest knife in sight. I aimed it onto my wrist as I began to sense the coldness of the metal on my skin observing its gleaming silver light thirsting for my death. I was about to thrust the blade into my wrist when suddenly a warm body caught me from behind. Like greased lightning, it held my wrists tightly forcing the knife to gradually slip out of my hand and fall onto the carpeted ground without a clutter heard.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I shouted.
He said nothing. Gently, he turned me around and hugged me then patted my head. "I won't let you go. I promise", he kissed my forehead then held me in a tighter embrace. At first I struggled underneath his strength, pounding onto his chest and throbbing for my release with my miraculous ability to shout, but then I relaxed, surrendering myself to his warm chest, then sobbing into it.
"This is all my fault", I wept, "I couldn't help it… I wanted to meet you guys so bad that I never thought of the consequences that might occur from summoning you guys here".
"It's alright", he soothed, "I will help you get your world back. I promise".
I got off of his chest and looked him in the eyes. "You shouldn't promise the impossible", I told him honestly.
"There is always a way to solve the toughest situations", he replied. "Now we have to get going", he reminded me.
I nodded. "But before we go I have something I need to do. You could consider it my way of having revenge on Madara", I spoke vengefully. He gave me an odd look, but I dismissed it as a sign of misunderstanding.
I awaited a sign to commence for I could not help this feeling that swelled inside of me telling me that without him granting me permission to begin, he would effortlessly try to stop me. With a slight evident nod of his chin, I dashed up to my room and grabbed several belongings I found that I didn't need any more and ran back down. I placed them on the couch. "Do you think we would get hypnotized if we listen to him on the radio?" I wondered a little worried.
He looked at me and noticed the concern on my face. He closed his eyes then answered, "No", he confirmed, "He specializes in genjutsu that affects your sight, not the kind that affects your hearing".
"Oh, good because I want to hear what he is spouting", I admitted. I went and fetched the radio, plugged it in and turned it on. Every station was broadcasting Madara's chant, however, after five minutes of listening to its disturbing repetition, he went on himself and spoke.
We listened. He began. "As many of you have heard, or may have even witnessed", I could hear a slight titter in his prideful voice as he continued, "the television stations are under my control. Everything you need to know about my regime will be broadcasted on it. I plan to be the leader you never had and to those who still disobey me and reject my form of government, I want the world to be the example you witness before you act. As you know some areas have been bombed and the traitors have been killed. There is only one place for me and that is to be a grand part of your history", he said confidently, "If you challenge me, I must warn you that you shall fail… I hope you understand this Nora". I flinched to the sound of my name being uttered from his malevolent lips. The blood running through my veins froze. All of a sudden it felt cold and I felt the world was revolving around me. It spun faster and faster as I gazed into the distance.
He continued. "I'm certain no harm has been placed upon you since you are with Itachi, but your importance to my plan is far too great to lose. Without you things wouldn't go as planned", he paused for a little while then continued, "Why don't you return and I'll protect you, after all our existence is connected with yours. I can't help but expect your return soon. However, if you don't return as a good girl I will come after you myself… Believe me, you wouldn't want it to go that far".
A jittering sound persisted in the living room as he halted his speech momentarily. It was the sound of my mouth as it shook up and down as my teeth clunked with each other briskly in fear. My whole body followed, shaking uncontrollably. The thoughts that run through my mind were just horrid imaged of the future. Multiple images of my death had befallen my imagination blinding me to reality. As I began to wail in fear, my hands fell onto my head slowly pulling onto the many strands of hair it held in its grasp. Gradually, I was brought back to consciousness, back to reality, with my heart beating fast, my breath heaving heavily in my chest, and my head pounding vigorously against my skull.
"I HATE YOU!" I bellowed at the radio furiously. I got up off of the couch and grabbed the items I had brought from my room. It was my beloved Naruto books, comics, and cards that had been passed down to me from generations before. I grabbed onto one of my favorite Naruto comic books that contained the last section of the Sasuke and Itachi fight and threw it in the fireplace to burn. All of a sudden I could hear Itachi and Madara groan in pain at the same time.
Fearing for Itachi, I ran over to him and yelped in terror, "Are you okay?"
He was holding on to his chest for some reason, but the pain seemed to decrease overtime.
I watched her as she grabbed onto some book off of the couch and threw it in the fire. Right then a flame bristled inside of me starting at my heart then spreading throughout my body as if traveling with the blood flow of my veins. Shrilling pains crashed into my system forcing me to wail in agony. The sharp intensity of the flame piercing through my heart felt like a glass shard stuck inside a base of my chest. With every pump my heart made, the ache throbbed along with it. My body was pouring with sweat for the heat was unbearably long. Once she had seemed to realize my pain, I heard a short squeak escape her lips as she came up to me and inquired if I were okay.
The blistering burns began to slowly decrease and I was able to speak again. "I'm fine", I coughed. I looked up to her and noted her watery eyes. "Don't worry. It might have been just heartburn", I tried to comfort her.
She didn't seem to believe it. She looked at the ground repentantly then informed me, "At first, I thought it was Madara who was groaning in pain and I felt happy, but when I noticed that you were in pain as well, and I felt horrified".
I ran what she had just told me again in my head. "You said that Madara felt the pain?"
"Yes", she answered me with a puzzled look on her face. "Why do you ask?"
I closed my eyes and concentrated. "Because he's the type of guy who wouldn't show that he was affected by pain", I replied to her. "What did you throw in the fireplace?" I asked suspiciously.
She fidgeted in her place then answered, "It was one of my beloved Naruto comic books. The one where you fight Sasuke and lose… the one where Madara tells Sasuke the truth", she told me nervously.
There must have been a reason why we both wailed in pain at the same time. It's not like Madara to show weakness all of a sudden. Maybe something happened at the House of Unity… or maybe it was something she did. "Throw something else into the fireplace… like a picture of me if you have one", I ordered her rashly.
She gave me a foolish look then did as I ordered. She played with some of the cards that she had brought with her until she found one that contained my picture on it. She turned her head toward the fireplace. Her head leant a little as if she had kissed the card before throwing it into the fire. Once the card made contact with the flames, the blazing burn in my heart returned, but it was shorter and less intense.
I tittered on what I had just discovered. She walked up to me and questioned, "What is it?"
I smiled at her and a blush was placed across her face. "For some reason, burning things that have our images on them causes us to burn or feel pain on the inside", I concluded. "The pain me and Madara shared was truly indescribable, but it happened because you burnt that book that contained images of the both of us".
It took her a little while to understand what I had just explained, but then she beamed at me and mused, "I know how to defeat him".
I leaned forward and enquired, "And how is that?"
She walked over and sat next to me. "If he doesn't exist in this world then he wouldn't exist at all. He was born from the comics that Masashi Kishimoto produced. That's his true origin. If we destroy everything that contains his image or story or whatever, then he should disappear!" she jumped in happiness.
I gave her a weak smile. I knew that she was pure hearted and only wanted to redeem herself, but her idea was impossible. I didn't want to discourage her so I looked at her then added, "That would be hard, especially after the world has already fallen", I reminded her, "We can't try to burn all of those things on our own. The world is too vast… We must find another way to defeat him… but how…" I trailed off. I placed my hand in my pocket and took out a card. "This is what we found in each of our pockets after you had summoned us. I think this is what we should aim for. This card must be our life source! The card doesn't have an image on it, but it has our names printed on each one of them. I believe that if we can destroy the original card you had summoned us with…", I said a little enthusiastically, "…that Akatsuki member will vanish".
She had a worried expression written all over her face. "But what about that feeling that you just had? What does it mean?" she asked me keenly.
I sat there and thought about it for a little while. "It made me feel weaker", I confessed, "Maybe those items are another form of our life source. Without them, it will cause us to get weaker and it will help us a lot if the rest of the Akatsuki were powerless, insignificant, and weak on our quest to save your world… but in what way can we spread the news and have others help us? I am quite certain that they will begin on their own, but it would help to encourage people to burn more items".
"Through a broadcasting station… You know, like a radio station or a television station", she informed me, "We could find one and broadcast to the world… that would be useful, only if they weren't being hypnotized", she lowered her head.
I put my hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about that", I assured her, "I can take off that genjutsu with my sharingan… We just have to find a station to help spread the news of our discovery".
She lifted her head and nodded weakly. She got up off of the couch and went over to her pile of books and cards and began to throw all of them into the fire. I sat next to her and grabbed one of my own cards. I held it in my hand and examined it. It was an interesting piece of paper. The one I held had an image of me and Sasuke. It was when I was carrying him on my back after he had injured himself that day he tried to imitate my moves. It revealed considerable amount of information about my abilities… and it even had a line I had said to him previously. This card said, "Forgive me, Sasuke… There'll be another time".
I held it a little longer in my hands, looking at my little brother, Sasuke, seeing how innocent of a child he was. My emotions of that day flooded back, but I couldn't concentrate on them in my current condition. I took one last glance then began to rip it into smaller pieces. I glanced sideways at her and found that she was a little troubled by my actions. "I wanted to know if ripping this piece of paper would hurt me", I explained to her knowing fully well that I was lying, "but I guess we're supposed to destroy it from existence for it to work".
Her gaze went back to the fire and I threw in the pieces left from the card. I felt the burn inside me intensify even greater than before, but I tried to hide the pain it caused me.
"Itachi", her voice fell apart, "Why don't you just kill me and save this world from their evil presence?"
I gazed at the fire with her. "You're afraid, aren't you?"
She winced, but didn't say anything even though it was quite obvious.
"You're afraid to die", I noted.
She put her knees up to her chest and hugged them with her arms tightly. She rested her head on them, her sight never leaving its focus on the fire. "My fear doesn't mean you can't kill me", she huffed, "It would be easy for you… after all, I am weaker than you".
I sighed. "If I had to I would", her head jerked in my direction fully out of surprise, "but I can't because my tie with you is slowly loosening each day. Meaning", I looked at her to explain my point a little further, "that even if I killed you it wouldn't cause any effect on the rest of the Akatsuki members and they shall continue causing havoc in this world. However, if I kill you, since we still have a bond to connect us together, I would die along with you. Did you not notice what Madara said in his speech not too long ago?"
She paused a little and thought about it for a while. "He said if I challenge him, I will fail".
I closed my eyes in confirmation. "Yes, that's true, but the most important thing is that he revealed your importance to the world… he noted to the world that without you we can't exist".
She gave me a puzzled look. "Well, I guess he isn't playing it safe. Telling the people that we are connected will cause them to try and threaten his rule with me", she told me what she understood.
I gave her a calm look then announced, "You're wrong. He's playing this to his advantage and he is playing it in the least dangerous way he could".
"But how is that? People knowing about me will make me a target, wouldn't it? Then my life will be in danger, so how is this the least dangerous way?" she yelled in frustration.
"Think about it this way. If you're in his place and you lost the most important person to your plan, what would you do?" I asked her.
She closed her eyes to contemplate the options them answered, "I would try to get them back".
"Right", I agreed, "He's trying to force you back because by telling the world of your existence you would feel insecure and you wouldn't trust anyone because they would try to kill you. Also, if you were trying to build a resistance against his regime it wouldn't work because nobody would trust you and would think that killing you would solve the problem. This way, I will have to protect you from everyone around you, we will not be able to form ties with anyone to formulate a plan to stop him, and I would be forced to take you back to Madara to keep you safe".
Her eyes were wide and full of fear. "But what if I do die in the process?" her voice was shaky.
"It wouldn't matter to him because he never informed the people of the weakening tie between you and Akatsuki. If you die, he would still have the advantage. He would have the surprise factor on his side and when the world least expects it, he would strike the resistance full force".
She hugged her shaking body. "And what if I surrender?"
I closed my eyes and gazed at the fire again. "It would be only a matter of time until he decides that he doesn't need you anymore", I told her firmly. "Our best bet would be to inform the people of what we found and try to build trust that way. From there on, it would only take some time before we could confront him head on". I heard her sniffling. Gazing at her, I noticed how hard she was crying. I placed my hand over her shoulder and smiled to the whimpering girl sitting beside me, "Don't worry, I won't let you die. I promise".
She bobbed her head then stood up. "Let's get to the television station, I want to get this over with", she said confidently.
"Are you not afraid?"
She shook her head. "I'm with you and as long as we're together, I know I'm safe".
"Alright let's go", I said kneeling onto the ground allowing her a good height distance to get on my back.
I got on his back and we headed for the nearest television station that we could find. I used my phone to search for the most popular television station in California and we found it and it turns out that it wasn't too far away from my house, which was quite convenient for the both of us. He put me down once we had reached it and we walked inside together. The lights were on and everything seemed normal, but it appeared deserted. Nobody was present in any of the rooms that Itachi opened and checked.
An eerie feeling that someone was watching us kept on creeping up on me, but every time I turn around and look behind me, I saw nothing. I walked closer to Itachi and held on to his sleeve. I felt my face redden, but I was far too afraid to worry about that. "Do you think anybody is here?" I asked him while taking a quick glance behind us.
He remained quiet for a little while. He held me by my shoulder gently then said, "Stay in this room and hide. Don't move until I come back and get you, okay?"
I was petrified. "Don't leave me here alone!" I yelled in fear grabbing on to his cloak tightly.
"You will be fine. I will come back for you, Nora", he said aloud pushing me lightly into the room. He closed the door behind me and left. I watched him disappear through the little window placed in the middle of the door. I sighed once he left and looked around. It was one of those broadcasting stations, with the large desk and chairs behind it. I ran up to it and sat on one of the empty chairs and looked at the camera. I found some papers lying on the desk so I held them up, cleared my throat, and pretended to be a news reporter. "And in other news, Madara has finally fallen thanks to a sudden heart attack. Now the world is at peace and everything could get back to normal".
I placed the papers down and stood up. I looked around the desk again and heard movement in the area behind the camera. "Hello", I called out. I heard more shuffling in the back. I was afraid now. "Is anyone there?" I asked with a slight shiver worming its way through my body.
I heard footsteps walking past the camera. I look closely when a woman walked out of the shadows. Her expression was blank, but her moves were swift. "Hello", I greeted her, "do you work here?" I asked casually.
She took a step forward. "To Madara we shall obey and those who fail to follow must be destroyed", she chanted, "He is our savior. He is our king. He is our master".
As I heard her chant over and over again, I felt disgusted and miserable even more. This was unbelievable how Madara had such an effect on so many people in such a short amount of time. I was about to cry as she waddled her way toward me trying to get me to believe. I walked up to her with tears in my eyes. "No", I hugged her, "He's not your savior or your master. You're free", I cried into her shoulder, "You're free".
I felt her hug me back. Her embrace was very warm and motherly. Her hands were around my waist while my arms were around her neck. "Have you been freed of Madara's genjutsu?" I questioned her ignorantly.
She remained silent for a little while. She rested her head on my shoulder. I could hear her breathing in my ear. "He's our savior", she began again, "You're a nonbeliever thus you must be destroyed". Her arms around my waist began to tighten. "I shall crush those who don't follow and believe my master. I shall end those who challenge him and his rule".
Her hands tightened even more around my waist preventing me from the ability to breath. "Stop it!" I shrieked. "I can't breathe!" I tried to loosen her grip with my arms, but I was far too weak so I had to resort to something I found to be demeaning… I had to call for help. "HELP! ITACHI, HELP ME!" I called for him in a panic plead for help.
Right then he came out of nowhere and pulled me easily out of her grasp. He pushed her to the wall and held her firmly in his arms. He forced her to gaze into his eyes and that's when she was freed of Madara's control. She fell to the ground inhaling and exhaling like a maniac. Itachi walked up to me and inquired, "Do you need help?"
He looked straight into my eyes and I felt myself melt. In front of him, I am nothing but a scrawny child unable to protect herself of the simplest attacks. I didn't want him to worry or notice my train of thought so I answered, "Yes, thank you". He held out his hand for me to grab and so I did.
He pulled me back on my feet when I heard footsteps echoing from the hallway outside the room we were in. I was petrified on how many I heard. I eyeballed the door patiently as several men and women entered the room. I ran behind Itachi and hide my face in his cloak. He placed his hand over mine and said calmly, "Don't worry. I have released everyone who was found in this building from Madara's jutsu".
My face burned as I pushed myself from his back. All that I could say to hide my embarrassment was, "Good".
"They're going to help us intercept Madara's broadcasting because I helped release them from Madara's genjutsu. From there I'm going to use my sharingan and hopefully release enough people from the genjutsu to help us against Madara", he smiled gratefully.
I nodded then took a glimpse around. There were about ten in total. One of them came up to me and stated, "You might want to head behind that desk over there so we could go live on the air", he pointed out sourly.
I didn't give much thought to his attitude so all I did was nod my head and walk behind the desk. I sat back down on the chair I was on only minutes ago. Itachi joined me a minute or two after.
I tried not to keep my sight on Itachi and his stunning form so I decide to distract myself and watched as they prepared everything to go live. Once they had everything ready, one of them shouted, "We're live in 3, 2, 1" then pointed at us to start talking. Itachi advanced forward toward the camera and used his sharingan. After five minutes flat, he moved his body to the side with the rest of the people and closed his eyes as a signal for me to start talking.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and played with my hands nervously under the desk. I looked straight at the camera timidly. "Hi", I started with a shaky smile, "my name is Nora…and I'm the reason the Akatsuki are present in our world", I sighed heavily. My head began to pound on me and everything went fuzzy. My eyes began to flood, but I continued, "I know that you probably hate me right now knowing that I have caused pain for each and every one of you… but I'm sorry". I glanced next to the camera for Itachi, but he wasn't there anymore.
I closed my eyes shut and lowered my head. My hands were in fists, tightly clutched together… then I began to cry. I felt alone and fully to blame for this catastrophe. As I sobbed I felt a hand placed on my shoulder. It was warm.
I glanced up slowly and there he was. "You're doing fine. Speak to them", he comforted.
I wiped my tears then resumed with a sniffle, "I want to stop them, but I can't do it alone…" I gazed slowly at Itachi then back to the camera, "And I know I'm not alone. Itachi is helping. He is on our side and… and we need your help as well". I took a deep breath in then went on, "We found out a way to end the Akatsuki's rule… it lies in their existence in our world… Like images of them… and if you burn them then they will get weaker and weaker… but the only way to eliminate them for sure is by burning the original card they were summoned with…". Itachi handed me his card then I pointed it toward the camera. "Like this one…"
The people behind the camera held up five fingers informing us that we only had five more minutes before they had to break the broadcast. "I understand if you decide not to trust us, but we are the earth's last hope. We might be able to save it if we work together. I'm trying to correct the mistake I have committed… so please help us…" I pleaded miserably.
Itachi walked forward then said, "People of earth, this is your planet and we're here to try and help you reclaim it", he said firmly, "but if you are not willing to assist us to end the rule of the Akatsuki then fine, but do everyone a service and keep your televisions off. This will help prevent your fall into another genjutsu", he clarified. "If you still require communication with the outside world then listen to the radio. You will be safer that way and will stay out of trouble. For family members or friends who are under a genjutsu spell, do not try and awaken them from it for they cannot be woken. The only way for their safe release is through their look into my eyes or Madara's defeat".
Right then the broadcast was cut and we were finished.
File X Opened
Name: Deidara
Weapons: Clay, Earth, Eye Scope
Jutsu: C0, C1, C2, C3, C4, Clay Clone, Explosive Clay, Earth Style: Hiding Like A Mole Jutsu, Explosive Clay Minions, Explosive Landmines, Suicide Bombing Clone.
In Case of Contact: Avoid mockery! Do NOT act high and mighty near this kind of enemy! Avoid at all cost. Making contact from afar or up close will result in the same conclusion of death by explosives. Try to avoid death by complimenting him as an "artist" and complimenting his objects or forms of clay as "art". Do NOT consider statements that formulate his gender as a female! Consider "art" as a momentary thing. Do not yell demeaning statements at him or insult his "art". State things like "Art is momentary. Art is not eternal. You are a great artist". If this fails, you are a finished. Do NOT fight unless you are fighting from underground or atop of a tree. Once spotted, beg, plead or try running away. Overall, this opponent is far too strong to fight in a group or alone.
Warning: Do you dare share this story to show your support for the Resistance?
Caution: Avoid Watching Television For The Next Week! Avoid Zombie Like Family Members! Avoid The Chant!