Don't own them

I'd like to thank Marla's Lost for her help with this chapter and also scousemuz1k for being my Beta.

Chapter 5

The Jester Stole His Thorny Crown

When the Jester sang for the king and queen in a coat he borrowed from James Dean - In a voice that came from you and me - Oh, and while the King was looking down the Jester stole his thorny crown American Pie - Don McLean

xXx

Previously:

Kelso took a deep breath and let it out then said, "Brooke caught me in bed with my partner from work and then took off to Jackie's after breaking off the engagement in a letter." He then proceeded to tell Eric everything that happened between him and Jackie explaining why he was limping. "Can you please tell me where Jackie lives so I can talk to Brooke?"

xXx

Kelso looked in the rear view mirror at his daughter and smiled for the first time since picking her up at her uncle's house for their weekend together. When he was standing on the porch waiting for Morgan to bring Betsy out, her husband, Brian was standing in the doorway with a smug look on his face. Kelso could tell he wanted to say something, but the thing is he really didn't want to talk to Brian. Ever since he hurt Brooke, Morgan and Brian treated Kelso like crap.

Chicago, Illinois

Kelso parked in front of the house and carefully took Betsy out of the backseat. He turned and looked at the home. Even before he could take a step, Betsy pulled away and ran to the door.

Betsy was jumping up and down impatiently, ""Daddy, hurry up! I want to play with Bear."

Kelso smiled and said, "I'm coming Bets."

Before Kelso could knock, the door opened, Betsy ran in yelling for Bear. When she saw the big black dog she ran up to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his thick fur. Bear's tail wagged so fast it was like a black blur as he licked what he could of the human pup that he loved so much. Betsy started laughing and dog and child scampered off into the kitchen with Betsy yelling for chocolate milk while Bear barked excitedly.

The two adults shook their heads at the scene.

"Sheesh, not even a hug or hello? I think she loves that dog more than me." The tall blonde shook her head.

Kelso smiled and said, "She is my daughter Donna, what do you expect?" Both adults laughed at that.

"So, what brings you here?" She watched the smile fade from his lips and his shoulders dropped. Kelso looked dejected and lost. She took his hand and led him over to the couch, and yelled. "Randy, take Betsy and Bear outside to play."

When she heard the back door open and close she turned to Michael. "OK, what's up?"

Michael sat back into the couch and closed his eyes. Not a went by that he wishes that he didn't wish that he could go back in time and change the past, stop himself from making the biggest mistake of his life and losing the love of his life.

He took a deep breath and exhaled. "When I went to pick Betsy up, Brian, Betsy's Uncle told me that Brooke is going on a date tonight."

When Donna heard this, part of her felt sorry for the guy, (A small part of her.) She asked, "What did you think was gonna happen?"

Michael shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know...I thought maybe we would see each other and I would get on my knees and beg her to forgive me." He took a breath, looked down at his hands. "She would see that I was being sincere...forgive me and take me back."

Donna shook her head at this; she wanted to laugh at her friend's naiveté.

xXx

In the backyard, Bear was chasing his human pup around. Whenever Betsy fell he would pounce, pin her to the ground and lick her all over the face. The dog heard the happy sounds that where coming from her and that made him happy. For a long time, Bear could sense an underlying sadness underneath all the happiness and he didn't like it one bit, so he made it his doggy mission to make her happy. That underlying unhappiness was a lot less but he could still sense it.

Bear, knew he couldn't help her get rid of it completely, it was up to little Betsy; but he would do anything he could to get her to make those happy sounds that were music to his ears.

Donna let the curtain fall but the sounds of joy in the backyard didn't diminish. She turned to Kelso and considered his admission.

"She would see that I was being sincere...forgive me and take me back."

Part of her wanted to laugh at that and part of her was sad for her friend; she shook her head. "Kelso, can I ask you a question?"

He took a deep breath. He knew what she was going to ask, hell, he kept asking himself that same question since that day. He nodded and let her ask.

"What the hell were you thinking when you cheated on Brooke?"

Yep that's the one he was expecting and dreading, so he took another breath and looked back at his hands. "To tell the truth...I've been thinking about that question just about every day and I don't really know what to tell you." He stood up and paced the floor waiting for Donna's response.

Donna didn't believe him, so she slapped his arm and said, "Bullshit Kelso, spill it."

He looked at her and sighed, "I wasn't thinking, OK. Is that what you want to hear?" He got up and started pacing. "When Amanda showed up at my apartment door with her coat hanging open, wearing nothing underneath, I didn't think what would happen, all I wanted was to 'do it' with her...I wasn't thinking."

He leaned against the far wall, slid down to the floor and put his face in his hands. "For one afternoon of pleasure I lost Brooke, I was an idiot."

Donna was amazed, Kelso felt so guilty. She got up, went over to him and sat down next to him on the floor. Instead of putting her arm around him she patted him on the knee. "You're right about that."

Kelso leaned his head back against the wall and laughed, "Where's the helmet when you need it, huh?"

"I think it's still in the Foreman's basement." Donna looked up at the ceiling. "You know what I think Kelso?"

"Like I have a choice here, go ahead."

"I think you subconsciously sabotaged your relationship with Brooke. I don't think you were ready to get married, so you slept with your partner; in the back of your mind you knew you'd get caught."

Kelso shook his head, but didn't deny it. Thinking back he realized that she may be right.

But Donna continued. "I noticed the pattern before Kelso."

"What pattern, Donna?" He asked dumbly.

Donna leaned her head back against the wall and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "How soon they forget."

Kelso let loose a small laugh. "I know what you're getting at, you're gonna say that when Jackie started to get serious I cheated on her."

He shook his head, glanced at her and said, "…as you well know I cheated on her even when she wasn't talking about marriage and stuff. Hell I started cheating on her way before she even started with that stuff." Kelso closed his eyes, started rubbing his temples and groaned. "All this serious talk is giving me a headache."

Donna patted him on his knee and got up. "I'll go get you a beer and a couple of aspirin for that; just sit tight."

"Thanks." That was all he could say.

When Donna entered the kitchen she looked out the window and saw that Betsy was using Bear as a pillow and she was just chatting away with Randy. She smiled at the sight and unconsciously placed her hand on her abdomen. She shook her head and sighed.

'I'm not ready,' she thought.

She took one last look out the window then went and got the beer and aspirin.

She gave him the items then sat back down next to him. "I've seen you work and I've never seen you get a headache."

Kelso gave her a small sad smile and said, "When I put on my uniform, it's like a switch flips and I become another person. Don't get me wrong, I still goof around to get rid of the stress of the job." He popped the two aspirins into his mouth and washed them down with the beer. "I like to make my partner laugh."

"Did you make Amanda laugh a lot?" Donna asked.

Kelso thought about it and said, "Yeah, a lot why?"

Donna took the beer from him and was about to take a swig but grimaced at the smell instead and returned it to him untouched. Must be going bad, how can he drink that swill' she thought. "You made her laugh; she fell for you and decided to seduce you."

"Ya think!" Kelso stated sarcastically. "No, I think she was like Laurie in a way and just wanted sex and damn the consequences for me."

Donna tucked her hair behind an ear. "You never told me what happened to her after the whole incident."

Kelso took a sip of his beer before answering. "Afterward she requested a new partner."

Donna wanted something to drink, hell what she wanted was a beer. She stood up and motioned for him to follow. She opened the fridge and moved a container to the side to get to the beer, then blanched, ran to the sink and started to gag. "Kelso can you go get Randy for me and see what Betsy and Bear are up to."

"Sure." Kelso said and headed out the door, he didn't mind, he wanted to play with his daughter and the dog. As he headed out the door he took another look at his friend, smiled and shook his head, he may be a doofus but he was good at his job, plus he's seen this before.

When Randy walked in, Donna pointed to the fridge. "Get rid of that stuff."

Randy looked in the fridge, then looked back at Donna. "You mean the cottage cheese?"

"Yes the cottage cheese." She just about yelled.

He looked at her then back at the offending item. "But you like cottage cheese and it's still good."

"It stinks; I can smell it from here, so just get it out of the house." She watched as her husband took the container out of the fridge and she started to gag again as the smell got stronger. After Randy went out the back door, she went to the fridge again, took out a bottle of beer, popped the top and went to take a drink but got a whiff of the liquid and felt bile rise up. "What the hell, why is the beer going bad?" She smiled as she got an idea. She held the beer at arm's length, headed out the back door and handed the bottle to Randy. "Here you go dear," she said with her sweetest smile.

Randy took the bottle and took a drink, smiled up at Donna and said, "Thanks gorgeous."

She looked at him confused, 'What the hell,' she thought.

Donna shrugged then turned to see what her two guests were up to and started to laugh. What she was seeing was Kelso on his hands and knees with the dog's rope in his mouth playing tug of war with her dog and Betsy, she never got tired of that sight. After a few seconds of this, Kelso let go of the rope then tackled his daughter and started to tickle her while Bear was busy licking them both and barking excitedly.

"Hey Kelso, are you and Betsy staying for dinner?" Donna asked.

Kelso stopped what he was doing and looked at his watch. "Can't, mom and dad want Betsy and me at their house to eat."

He helped Betsy to her feet then said, "…and as matter of fact, if we don't leave now we'll be late. Go say bye to your Aunt Donna and Uncle Randy." Little Betsy ran over to them giving them both hugs and kisses, then did the same for Bear.

Kelso then took his daughters hand and started to walk to the fence, but as he passed Donna he whispered, "Congratulations" in her ear.

With that he left, leaving her with a look on her face that was saying 'What the hell is that supposed to mean?'

After Donna watched Kelso drive off, she turned to Randy and said, "I'm in the mood for a pineapple and I don't want the ones that come in a can, I want a fresh one."

Donna headed to go back into the house but before she went in she turned and saw that Randy was still sitting in the lawn chair nursing his beer. "Randy, honey when I say I want a pineapple, what I really meant was, go get it now." She was nearly yelling.

Her husband jumped up out of the chair, dug out his truck keys. "OK, OK I'm going Sheesh."

When she entered the kitchen, Donna went straight to the pantry, pulled out a package of Oreo cookies, a jar of sour cream and onion dip and sat at the table dipping the Oreo cookies into the dip and eating it.

When she realized what she was eating and her sudden craving for fresh pineapple, and what Kelso had whispered to her, Donna put her head into her hands and began to cry. As she was sobbing a quote she once heard ran through her head, 'If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.'

She started laughing into her hands at that thought.

Randy came back with the pineapple and he found his wife still at the table shoving the last of the cookies covered with sour cream and onion dip into her mouth. When Donna saw the pineapple she grabbed it and started to cut it up and eat it. "Mm mm, thanks sweetie," she mumble around the pieces of pineapple.

"Um...you're welcome?" A confused Randy just left the kitchen and went into the living room to watch a game.

xXx

Donna was standing in the drugstore aisle staring at all the selections on the shelf feeling overwhelmed.

"Are you all right, dear? Looks like you need some help."

Donna turned and looked at the old lady that was talking to her. "I'm not ready," was all that she could say.

The lady looked at the shelf the young woman was staring at and chuckled; she lightly patted Donna's shoulder. "Sweetie, none of us are ever really ready." She went to the shelf and picked up three of the tests, then placed them in Donna's hand. "These are the best on the market; I suggest you call your OBGYN for an appointment tomorrow, good luck dear." She then walked away.

Two hours later Donna was sitting on the floor in her bathroom with three sticks laid out in front of her, all three had positive signs.

"We were so careful, how did this happen?" she asked herself.

She laughed, and answered her own question. "I know how it happened, just not how. We were so careful."

Randy knocked on the door. "You alright in there?"

"Yes, no... I don't know." She replied.

"I'm coming in." Randy said through the door. When he entered the bathroom he looked at his wife sitting on the floor then down at the three sticks. "What's going on?"

Donna waved at the three tests on the floor in front of her. "They're all positive."

Slowly a smile spread across Randy's face. "We're having a baby?"

Donna looked up at her husband and sighed. "I guess, I still have to make an appointment with my doctor." She looked back down at the three offending items. "How did this happen, we were so freakien careful."

Randy leaned against the door frame and thought back, then he remembered. "I think I know how it happened." He stared off into space, that night coming back to him, or at least some of it. He snapped out of the memory when Donna spoke again.

"Well when did it happen?" Donna asked.

"Remember when Kelso and Fez took us out to celebrate you getting nominated for the Excellence in Journalism award for your piece on corruption in City Hall?"

She nodded then shook her head, no. "I remember the beginning and the morning after that's all." She hung her head and said, "We didn't use protection that night."

Randy shook his head. "I don't think so." He bent down, took her hands and pulled her up. "Come on I have dinner on the table, I'll drink your wine and you can have a glass of milk."

Donna couldn't help but laugh at that, she hugged him and gave him a kiss, then she let him lead her out of the bathroom and to the kitchen to eat.

xXx

A/N: I hope you are enjoying this story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Take care till next time.

"When you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans". (Attributed to Woody Allen)

Let's expand on that. "If you want to hear him laugh even louder, tell him how much you know."

Just a side note:Bear is somewhat modeled after my long gone best friend, who was also named Bear. When I usually picked a dog I would always go for the runt of the litter, but this time I couldn't help but pick the giant of the litter. He turned out to be one of the best dogs I ever had.