Dean threw his duffel with a heavy thud in a panic seeing Cas sprawled out on the floor in front of him. He dropped to the contorted angel's side scooping his limp body up in his arms. He flicked a glance to the entrance for Sam and Kevin, but they were still outside talking to the person that graciously gave them a ride back from Iowa. He pulled Cas' dead weight closer to his body, cradling his head gently in his hand. "Cas, come back to me. C'mon man, don't do this again." His body heaved as he let out a ragged breath, trying desperately to push away the lump that was forming in his throat. He leaned over the angel's body pressing an ear to his chest when he heard the steel door squeal open. He lifted his head and pleaded to his brother. "I think–I think he's dead Sammy! Christ!" Sam sucked in a breath, creases creeping across his clammy forehead with grief. "Maybe he's just unconscious again. We should get him back into bed, Dean. Hey, look at me." He knelt next to his distraught brother, clasping his hand on his shoulder. "We'll figure it out, we always do." He pursed his lips and weakly climbed to his feet, shooing Kevin away and scuffled hurriedly down the corridor to the bedroom they were keeping Cas in.
It startled Dean when Cas' torso surged up, gasping for air like he had been trapped underwater for too long. Relieved, Dean slouched where he sat and groaned, still keeping his grip on Cas. He dropped his eyes to the wide blue ones that were now fixed on him. Cas reached up shakily to Dean's face, bumping his fingers clumsily along his cheek. "You gotta stop dying on me, man. You're gonna give me an ulcer." Cas smirked and clung to Dean's shirt, refusing to let go of him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For everything." He rasped, fumbling over his words, unable to find the right thing to say. Dean dismissed him with a shake his head, letting a faint smile reassure the angel. "Let's get you back to bed. Can you walk or do I have to carry your feathery ass too?" Cas gave him a disapproving look, letting his mouth gape open. "Dean. I'm serious. I want so badly for you to be able to trust me again and I will do anything to…" he had to pause to catch his breath, wheezing as he spoke. "…I want to fix this, Dean. Please stop dismissing me. I need you to hear me. I need you." Dean's face grew very serious if only for a moment before nodding his head. He heaved the angel up in his arms and set him down on his feet, pulling the angel close against his body for support. They hobbled in silence to his room when Sam rounded the corner, his face contorting into something that looked somewhere between shock and relief, but mostly a warm smile. He wrapped Cas' free arm around his shoulders and helped Dean get him to the room, back into bed.
Once the boys had left, Cas laid motionless under the cozy bedding, staring at the ceiling. He went over everything Barachiel had shared with him, coming up with some of his own theories. How could he not believe him? Nobody had seen the Scribe of God for thousands of years and Seraphiel never had a reputation for being what humans would call a trustworthy friend. And it really would be that simple to kick the angels out of Heaven if given the right opportunity. Somehow he had to get Naomi alone and away from Seraphiel, all the while trying not to die any more this week. It was all too excessive for him and he was getting tired of it. Just a few years ago he had been a righteous Angel of the Lord. Obedient, loyal. He once thought those were his best qualities but these days he wasn't sure of anything. Especially himself.
Castiel was growing more and more restless being left alone to his own devices. He felt it was time he get up and stretch his legs. At least Barachiel left him in better shape the second time around. He still wasn't sure if that was something he should have appreciated, but given the circumstances he was happy to get even a slight improvement. He shuffled to the main room, hoping he would find at least one of the guys. All three looked up from their stacks of books and papers, surprised to see the angel up and moving so soon. Sam smiled, his sunken face creasing with dramatic dimples. It was disheartening to watch Sam go through the Trials knowing he was worthless to help. No human should have to do what he's done and yet, here he was, still chugging along. He reciprocated the smile before glancing over to Dean, holding his gaze before Dean could hold his eyes anymore and looked away. "Good. So since you're here, wanna help us find Barachiel?" Sam pointed to a chair, motioning him to sit. Cas settled in the chair shakily and took in a deep breath. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about that." Dean arched an eyebrow in question and Cas quickly looked away, feeling his cheeks flush bright red. He didn't know why he kept having all these feelings but they were incredibly distracting.
He told them everything. Who Barachiel was and what he was up to, the reason he kept dying so frequently. Dean nodded his head slowly, trying to soak everything in. "Well shit. Wish we had known that sooner." Cas shrugged raising his hands indifferently. Kevin twiddled a pencil between his fingers and added, "So you're saying you believe this Barry guy, even though he's killed you twice. Sounds sketch to me. I mean, Metatron seemed pretty out of the game. He even rescued me from Crowley and it sounds like Barachiel has plenty motive to destroy Heaven on his own accord." Cas rubbed his head. Kevin had a valid point but then again, Metatron had just as many reasons. "This isn't something I can just ignore. I've already done enough damage up there. I have to at least try to do something."