A/N: I'd love to know what you guys think of this so far-critique welcomed too! And thank you thank you thank you for reading! I love seeing when my stories get favorited/followed. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside :) Love you all!
It was so unbearably quiet in the bunker that one could hear the blood pumping through their veins. Cas had stayed up long after the boys had turned in for the night and he was becoming more exhausted and aggravated and defeated by the minute. He had flipped through every book he could get his hands on and still could find nothing more to elaborate on all that was Metatron and Seraphiel. He raked his hands through his tangled hair, eventually bringing them back to bury his face. He growled in frustration and shoved himself from the desk, getting up to pace around the room. There has to be something. He looked down to his bare feet and stark white legs, squinting at his drowning thoughts. Why had Barachiel gone through so much just to reach out to him? Nothing made sense anymore and it frightened him. Nor was he certain that he could face Naomi again after everything she had done to him. But if Barachiel was right, what choice did he really have? He couldn't bear the thought of Metatron destroying Heaven just for the hell of it. The feeling of being practically useless made him even more agitated, his cheeks flushing hot with anger.
"Cas?" He jerked and whirled around surprised to see Dean standing in front of him, bleary eyed. The angel's expression softened from the one he wore moments before. "Did I wake you?" His face wrinkled apologetically. "I was just going to get a glass of water…" Dean gestured lazily toward the kitchen, "…what are you still doing up?" Cas contemplated the lumbering man's question. Everything about Metatron and Naomi was making him uneasy and restless, not to mention he was still ailing from his unpleasant experiences with Barachiel, but he wouldn't dare tell Dean that. "I don't know, I just started reading and uhh, well..." He looked back disappointingly to the endless stacks of books everywhere. Dean surveyed the mess of books with sleep ridden eyes deciding to save it for another time, instead sighing with a dismissing shrug. He stretched out his hand to Cas, motioning for him to come closer. "It's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow. You won't be any good if you don't let yourself get better first." Dean clasped his arm around Cas' shoulders and guided him back to the bedroom.
When they got to the door, Dean paused looking at the ground, his jaw ticking. "Cas, I know you feel like you need to set things right, but just promise me you won't do anything stupid. I don't think I could..." his voice trailed off, poorly hiding emotions he was desperately trying to choke back. "You and Sammy, you're all I have left. I couldn't bear it if I lost one of you again." His cracked and faded, unable to find anything else to say. It broke Cas to see the strongest person he knew so irreparably damaged, putting forth so much effort just to suppress the decades of loss and heartache. Cas swallowed hard, trying to push back his own memories of when Naomi tried to make him kill his only true friend. He found himself wiping away tears that stung his eyes; a new experience that terrified him.
Before he could back away to hide this horrible new sensation, Dean reeled him in, wrapping his arms around Cas. He was beyond familiar with this hugging thing that Dean did a lot, but he never understood why until it finally clicked somewhere in his thick skull. Cas was vulnerable and scared and this human–this incredible, forgiving human–was comforting him. The angel bunched fistfuls of fabric between his fingers, muffling stilted breaths into the hunter's shoulder. He was unsure where to place his limbs, but after watching enough times, he did the only thing that came to mind. He shivered at the feeling of Dean's breath tickling his neck and gentle hands that smoothed his messy hair. The strength from Dean's arms almost crushed his fatigued body but he didn't notice. Something wailed at Castiel's insides, twisting and swelling and warming his chest to the point that it was almost painful. He didn't want to let go and this time, neither did Dean. Even if it was socially awkward by his standards.
Dean pulled away from the angel with a reassuring smile and patted his shoulder. Cas met his stare and timidly raised his hand, brushing his fingers softly against Dean's cheek. The green eyes he enjoyed watching so much blinked in surprise, a faint gleam shining through his worn features. Dean stared nervously back at the angel, tightening his mouth in a witless nod. Cas lowered his gaze and rubbed the back of his neck, smirking. "Good night, Dean." He shuffled away from the door and crawled in bed, leaving Dean standing motionless in the hall. He walked blankly back to his room, unsure of what just happened and the feelings that kept tugging at him, begging to be noticed. Feelings he always denied, never wanting to pry deeper than what was on the surface. It scared him more than any monster he'd ever fought. He rubbed his eyes and forced himself to think of nothing more until he dosed off again.