Chapter 10:

Author's Note:
Well, damn… this is long. Longest yet. I kept trying to end it, but Quinn, damn that girl, when she wants to speak or has to do something, damnit, she will do whatever the hell she wants. And I'll let her. Because she's Quinn.

Anyways, switching up some stuff. Invisible is gonna take a bit, simply because of me struggling through some mechanics of writing sex between a group and making sure that at least its not "She put item A into Slot B. It was hot. Enjoy." That doesn't sit with me. Faberry Week: The Sequel starts next week, so I'll be working through those prompts. My bro made the challenge of me writing a fic or series of oneshots using the titles of an album, the result being "direct hits." So yeah, a lot of things going on.

And can someone explain why keeps eating my breaks between sections... I swear fixing this is a pain in my ass.

Insert Shameless plug, and go read my many other works, feed my review addiction, any comments, remarks, criticism or suggestions are always welcomed, and of course, enjoy.

Because I can,
SurrealSteamPuckk(WeOffendedShadows)

Nov. 26th

Someone was shaking her, and Quinn was not amused. She started to growl, the vibrations growing within her chest and escaping out of her mouth, when fingers started to scratch her neck. The growl transformed into a soft purr, her body trying to arch into the nails. "Sweetie," Rachel whispered into her ear, the warm breathe sending a shiver down her spine. "We're here."

"Fivmiutes," she muttered, but curled towards the voice, only to be stopped by a seat belt.

"You're so lucky that you're cute," Rachel replied. The hand stopped, and Quinn wanted to start growling again. "A, I just gave you five more minutes since you didn't want to be woken up yet, and two, we're here and Dad wants help with all the luggage and food we brought."

"Rightz," Quinn said, "Foosz." Food sounded amazing at the moment. Maybe. Sleep was certainly more comfortable.

"So wakey, wakey."

"Eggs and bacon, and maybe cream and coffee," Quinn replied. She stretched as much as she could in the Berry's SUV, but it was not enough. At some point she would need to fully stretch her spine and probably pop any number of her joints, but maybe then she would not feel as stiff. Pun not intended. "Then, I will see about waking up."

"Quinnie," Rachel said. She turned and looked at her girlfriend. Damn pout, damn big eyes, damn sad face. Especially since she wore her thick parka with mittens. It just led to more of the adorable sad animal thing she had going, and that always worked on her.

"Okay then." Quinn unbuckled herself and climbed out to see Hiram opening the trunk and unloading the various bags that they brought to Rachel's Grandma's for Thanksgiving.

Quinn had Thanksgivings before, often with her birth father's family and or business partners, where she was expected to be seen and never heard. That she was just another trophy for him to show off, maybe a tool to barter for some position higher in his world. There was no such thing as arranged marriages for Fabrays but that did not meant there were not encouraged coupling.

But this, this family, the Berry's had welcomed her fully into their lives, and while Quinn enjoyed the time spent with her mother, she also enjoyed that they wanted to see her as much as her actual family. Quinn knew that at some point there would be a family meal between the two families, and given her mother's acceptance of lesbian relationship, it should not be as horrible as it could be. Maybe sometime near Christmas, especially since Hanukkah was around the same time.

"I will take hers," Quinn said. She walked to the back of the SUV and joined Hiram in the process of removing the massive amounts of luggage.

He looked down at the set of four pink bags. "You sure?"

"She does pack a lot." Quinn smiled up at him, grabbed her single duffle bag and threw it over her shoulder before gathering up Rachel's and bringing it up to the doorstep on one trip.

Grandparents Berry lived in a smaller version of an English Country House in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania. It should have been a farm house or something, by Quinn's best estimates, but here was a wonderful creation of sweat, blood and tears from wood, steel and brick. Red aged brick walls held up a large sun-faded roof, with white faux-marble welcoming the world inside.

They left early in the morning, like five am early, which was just as bad as not sleeping, on a bitter cold November day. The only reason why Quinn even made it to the car was the smell of a piece of bacon that Rachel led her by and then she had to be buckled in. She was not ashamed of this. It was their fault she had to be awake at such a time that should not even exist. Six hours later, of which she slept through them all, Quinn found herself in Virginia, maybe, and it was colder than before. She was not exactly paying attention to the location.

Rachel stepped next to her and nuzzled into her side, the faux fur tickling her chin. "I'm cold, can we go in?"

"Sure, sweetie," Quinn said. "Just ring the doorbell, and hopefully someone will let us in shortly."

"Or," Rachel reached out and opened the door, "We could just go in."

"Rae, that would be rude." She dropped her duffle bag and grabbed her wrist.

"Kitty." She dropped the wrist right away and looked down. Her shoes were at least clean, she had remembered to grab decent Chuck's before she left home. That was something.

Rachel lifted up her chin, smiling at her as she stepped closer. "Kitty, I understand your apprehension, but trust me, okay? This is my family. It's okay to be a bit relaxed and informal. We can just enter."

Quinn shook her head. "I cannot just…my rules and my manners, Rachel, I-"

Rachel kissed her softly on the cheek and leaned back into her. "I know, Quinn, I know. Just follow my lead, and I'll make sure that you aren't too far out of your comfort zone."

She looked back down to her shoes. Her black jeans were somewhat clean, maybe she should change into-

"Kitty, look at me please," Rachel said. Quinn sighed, but kept her head down. They were not in a private area, in fact her parents were behind them, and yet she was using her pet name for her more and more often when Rachel was saying words just for her, or to get her attention, or anywhere. And she was not upset by it, but it was a bit unnerving how easily Rachel commanded her. Her tiger-self was even okay with it, and that part of her never wanted to be controlled. "Quinn. Please."

"Everything okay, Star?" Hiram asked.

"Yep." Quinn heard the Broadway-smile in her voice. "Quinn felt it was polite to ring the doorbell and wait." The chimes rang on the other side of the door, and dogs. Two large dogs with big feet from the sound of it. Quinn had not smelled them, which hopefully meant they were nothing more than guests and had not claimed the territory, but still. Dogs.

An elephant came bounding out of nowhere and slammed into the door, quickly followed by another slam. Quinn stepped back, her grip tightening on her bag and she nearly dropped Rachel's collection.

"Quinn?" Leroy asked. "You okay?"

"I am not… I mean, I have never really," she started to reply, but the door was thrown wide open, and Hiram caught the two dogs as they tried to escape. She did not know breeds at all, but the chopped off tail of the black short-haired one was wagging as fast as it could, and its mouth was open with its teeth slightly bared. The other one was shaggy and goldish-brown, and its tail was wagging even fiercer, almost like it would take to the air in given moment. Quinn stepped back a bit more.

"Stark, Banner!" A gruff voice boomed from the other side of the door. "Why'd you use the damn bell, you'd know that they'd freak out about that."

"Poppa!" Rachel shouted and stepped through the doorway into the embrace of a tall, tall black man with bright white hair. The wrinkles on his face were smoothed away as he embraced his granddaughter, and Quinn felt a twinge in her chest, a brief dull pain, and she looked back at her feet. Hiram dragged the dogs back inside and Leroy followed him in. She did not move from the porch. "I missed you."

"How is my wonderful little Star," he asked, spinning her around. "My you haven't changed one bit. Still beautiful and music packed inside such a small frame."

"I am well within the average height parameters of girls my age." Her grandfather set her down slowly, his smile wide on his face. Rachel stomped and crossed her arms, glaring up at the man.

"Well, in this family, you're tiny," he said with a laugh. "Hiram, my boy, so good to see you." He hugged what she assumed was his son, though both him and Hiram had tinged skin, so she was not quite sure.

"And Leroy, you look as healthy as ever, my son keeping you fit and everything?" Hiram laughed and gave the man a one armed hug.

Quinn watched as the four of them interacted from the doorway. She shifted a bit, though was not uncomfortable with the gear. She was much stronger than people assumed, and while she could stand there for hours if need be holding hundred pounds of luggage, she did not want to watch the family. She missed her mother sometimes. Things had been strained, even with her accepting that she was more similar to Judy Fabray than she would have liked to be believe. That she was kicked out does that to a relationship, even if they were trying to repair it.

"And who's this?" Rachel's grandfather stepped towards Quinn. "Quinn, right?" She fought the urge to step back, but barely. It was irrational for her to be afraid, really, she was an alpha tigress who could crush trees with a swipe of her paw if she wanted. That portion of her never came up. But these were people, and people were strange for her. Lima, she knew how to deal with people, she had a presence. Here, in Virginia, she had no idea who she was. Here, a stranger stood nearly a foot taller than her, and was built like Puck was yet he had to be seventy years old. Here, everything was new, and nothing really taught her how to prepare for it. "My star warned me that you were beautiful, but her words apparently did not do you justice."

She looked down and away. Maybe the dress would have been better.

"Be nice, Poppa," Rachel said. She stepped around the large man and into Quinn's personal space.

"Thank you for inviting me," Quinn said, her voice was barely above a whisper. The dogs barked and she tried her best to remain still. "Is it alright if I come in?"

"Of course, of course. A friend of Rachel's is a friend of ours." the grandfather replied, waving her in. His words said welcome, but his tone said be wary. Quinn stepped into the foyer filled with oranges and golds of thanksgiving and harvest. "Do you need help with those?"

"No, thank you, sir," Quinn said. "I would like to know where I could put Rachel's luggage for her, if that is alright." He raised an eyebrow at her, but nodded and led her down the hallway to a door that lead to the basement. Rachel stayed behind, petting the dog. Quinn felt her eyes on her back.

The basement was well furnished and finished. A bit chilly, but it would probably warm up. She found the backroom that Rachel's grandfather indicated, built off to the side of a large entertainment room. The bed was a simple twin, made up with dark brown and light orange sheets and pillows. The walls were a simple pale, off-white, and the single lamp in the corner that stood next to a cherry dresser gave enough lit for her to work. Between the wall and one side of the bed there would be enough room for her to curl up in. She brought a blanket and a tiny pillow. Her body heat would be enough to keep her warm, even in a basement. Quinn was more worried about Rachel.

She dropped her bag where she was going to sleep, and carefully placed Rachel's luggage on the bed. School was always kept dreadfully warm, so she continued to wear her adorable short skirts that teased her every day. And Quinn drove her home with the heat blaring. But most Rachel was okay. On Tuesday, she came in freezing, and she had to wrap the diva in an extra sweater she had forgotten she had in her locker. When they hung out that night, before Quinn left to get as much sleep as possible, Rachel was bundled up in two sweaters, an electric blanket and wool pajamas and socks. At the time it was adorable, but lying in her bed, the thought worried her.

"Quinn?" She turned around and looked to see Leroy in the doorway. "You okay?"

"Yes, I am fine," she replied. "I thought Rachel could use another sweater if she is as cold as she was yesterday." He nodded at her, letting her return to digging through one of the carriers for the thickest sweater she hid in there, ignoring Rachel's protests.

Leroy moved a carrier and sat on the bed. "I know Judy before she got married," he said, pulling her hand away from the bag. He moved very slowly, and made sure that Quinn could watch his movement.

Quinn did not say anything.

"Went to school together and all that," he continued. He lightly traced a circle with his thumb on her wrist. "She was my best friend, in fact."

"Mother never talked about you." Rachel was probably getting colder, and she needed to find the sweater.

"I know, we had a falling out."

"Over what? You coming out?"

Leroy laughed. "No, no nothing like that. She knew it before I did. It was her coming back with her boyfriend from college."

"My…" Quinn swallowed and nodded.

"At the time, she thought the world of Russell, saw him as this strong and direct man, a good man, so much like her father. Did you ever get to meet your Grandparents?"

"They died when I was little. Frannie did, I think."

"He was a very good man, very loving. And at the time, Judes thought the same of Russell. But I saw something different in him."

"Why are you telling me this?" Quinn asked.

"I know things were difficult for you at home," he replied. Quinn looked away quickly, pulling her hand to her chest. Her tiger-self wanted to sink away and hide in a corner, but her feet did not move. "When I met him, I knew he was more like my old man than hers. I knew exactly what he would do, what his and hers life would be like. The bigotry and hatred didn't surprise me. The power and control didn't surprise me. It didn't surprise me when I heard from a colleague at the firm about how your sister left the state once she graduated and emancipated herself. I just hoped that you would be okay."

"Why do you care?" Quinn said. He was not related to her, he was not family or anything. His family was upstairs, in a room that full of life and sound and warmth. Quinn's was nowhere to be found. Tigers lived alone, she had told herself that would be good enough for her.

"Because, despite what you did to my daughter," he said, "Despite the pain you caused her, and don't believe me that we don't know, that everyone upstairs knows, I knew better than anyone what you went through."

"He never hit me."

"He didn't have to." Quinn nodded. "You don't always have to hit someone, Quinn, to controll them. And I'm not sure if that's worse or not. At least when you're being beaten, you know it'll be over."

Quinn squeezed her hands, trying to grasp a thing to hold herself up. But the bed had no headboard to hold her up, and the luggage would make a poor base. She would just have to remain on her feet.

"Just let Rachel take the lead and just follow her. I know it'll be uncomfortable, like it was for me when Hiram brought me home the first time, but trust her. You've come a long way from that girl you were."

"Took only getting pregnant," she said and laughed weakly under her breath.

"Took me getting put in the hospital," Leroy replied. She looked back at him, dropping her hand from her chest. "Don't tell Rachel or Hiram, they don't know. Happened during high school and everything, before I left that house and I met Hiram."

"Daddy?" Rachel said from the stairs. "Do you-"

"Everything's good down her, sweetie," he shouted up. "Just helping Quinn get your things settled. We'll be up shortly."

He stood up and took a step toward Quinn. She was afraid he was going to hug her or something.

Santana and Brittany had made her accustomed to physical contact, and it was easy to transfer that to Rachel. But with males, with tall and fit men, she still felt a bit awkward. The worst of it was that description did not match her fathers. She dated Finn and Puck and Sam, Lord, had sex with Finn and Puck, but it was always uncomfortably forced on her end. She forced herself to do it because it was what was expected of her in some way.

With her girls, it was safe and warm and welcoming. With Santana, the touches were protective, even with her being the strong and fast one, the tiger in human form. With Brittany, they were comforting, when she struggled to stay in control of her emotions. With Rachel, they were freedom, breaking down everything she had thought she had to be. Hugs and shoulder bumps, gentle caresses of their hands. Everything was nice. The exact opposite of what she felt with the boys in her life. She was not a prize or a trophy or an object. She was Quinn with her girls. And some part of her was worried that Leroy would be like the other males in her life.

But he was not. He just offered a soft smile, reached into one of the carriers and pulled out a thick knitted sweater with a large orange cat on it. "I think our Rachel would like this one, don't you?"

Quinn nodded and took it from his hands quickly, faster than she should have in public. But Leroy gave no indication that it mattered. She held it close to her chest, eyes focused on the bed and the luggage. "You come up when you're ready? Kay?"

"Can…" she swallowed, "can you ask Rachel to come down here? I just-" a lie could not form on her lips.

"Sure," Leroy replied. "She does have a lot of cloths, always over packs, so you'll need all the help you can get." He walked out of the room, leaving her standing over the bed and squeezing the sweater. The door to the rest of the house slammed shut and little feet scurried down the stairs. A few second later, Rachel was wrapped around her, her face pressed against her back.

Quinn did not know how long they stood there, or why her face was so wet, or why her throat bothered her so much. Rachel just sang softly to her, some song that she could barely hear, and rocked her back and forth.

Leroy sighed and leaned against the door. His daughter had thrown it open and shut, and the dogs had come to investigate, but they merely sat in front of him wagging their tails with big doggie smiles on their faces.

He hadn't lied to Quinn about his life prior to Hiram, prior to meeting the Berry's. James and Kathy were wonderful people, accepting him just as quickly as they did their son. It was a turnaround from his traditional family and their antiquated beliefs. And they were very protective of who they viewed as their family. Especially Kathy.

"Everything good," Hiram stepped into the hallway, holding a champagne flute. He always started drinking early on the holidays. Preparation for the large family that would arrive soon.

"As good as it can be, I guess," he replied. Leroy petted the dogs on their heads as he walked past them. They didn't follow him, just kept vigil on the door. "Bit overwhelming for her. What with family and things like that."

"Well, I guess it's good that Ma isn't home yet," He said. Leroy nodded and took the drink from his husband's hand and finished it. James and Kathy knew about Quinn and her previous role in Rachel's life. His daughter had no real filter, and the family had grown accustom to her oversharing, including the terrible things in her life. Like the bullying from school by the Unholy Trinity. While Hiram kept his parents up to date concerning their lives, Leroy knew that Kathy would have a grudge against Quinn for all the pain she put her granddaughter through.

"Yeah, at least James was too floored by her appearance to say anything too foolish." They started to walk to the kitchen, where James would be preparing his pies for tomorrow.

"Like his son." Leroy smiled at his husband, letting him step into his space.

"That was one time, and Rachel has forgiven me already for embarrassing her."

"True, but you didn't have to go on and on about how beautiful she was, did you?"

"One time, and they never let it go," Hiram said.

"Never let what go?" James asked. He had found himself an apron, frills and lace and pink littered it, and had been rolling out some dough.

"My husband's monologue on how Rachel had befriended the beautiful Quinn. The worst part wasn't that Rachel was jealous, hell, she joined in and they started on her bone structure and everything, and the two just went on and on about her."

"Then what-"

"Quinn doesn't like to talk about the way she looks," Hiram said. "Another one of Rachel's friends, Brittany, called us out on it after Quinn disappeared from the kitchen."

"Oh," James said. Whether he was sorry or not, Leroy couldn't tell. Hiram went to the orange juice and champagne to make them more drinks. "Rachel seems rather smitten with her, doesn't she?"

"Well, Star would use the phrase in love, but yes, that's about right," Hiram said. "Dad?"

James shook his head. "Doc wants me cutting back and all. Do you think it's healthy?"

"To be in love? She is at that age."

"To be dating one of her abusers."

"They hashed that out early this summer, Dad," Hiram replied. He handed Leroy a drink and moved to the island. "It's not like Quinn is forcing Rachel in this relationship or anything."

He held up his flour-covered hands. "I'm just looking out for my only granddaughter. Can't blame me for worrying. Besides, I know better than to talk about this in front of her at least."

"True," Leroy said. "Kathy is gonna grill her, probably guilt her about it, not that she needs any more guilt about the whole situation. Or worse even. What with her home life and everything."

James nodded and let go of the rolling pin. He braced the edge of the marble counter top and breathed out slowly. He was aware of Leroy's relationship with his parents. He also knew enough about Quinn from Rachel's constant talk about her the three previous years to have an idea of her personality. Some things aren't innate. Something's have to learned to deal. "He never touched her, James," Leroy replied.

"She tell you that or-"

"I trust Quinn," Leroy said. "I trust her with my daughter in every way I can, even though the thought of my little princess growing up terrifies me. If she says it didn't happen. It didn't happen."

"Doesn't mean-"

Hiram stepped around and touched his father's shoulder. "Dad, we know. Part of why we were okay with her and her friends entering our house." More Leroy than his husband, but nevertheless it was true.

"She's so proper and polite, it's been drilled into her, hasn't it? How to act around people, how to make herself barely seen and never heard."

"Quinn had most of her life planned out for her and-" The door to the garage slammed open and a squeal from an older woman echoed through the house.

"My boys, my wonderful boys are home at least," Kathy said, rushing into the kitchen and wrapping Hiram in a tight hug. She was a contrast of her husband: short and pale white skin with platinum blond hair that never grayed according to her. "Oh it's so good to see you."

"Don't lie, Ma," Leroy replied. "You're just happy Rachel's here."

"Shush you," she pulled back and smiled at her son, taking his face in her hands. "Still handsome as ever. You've barely aged. I only see a few wrinkles this year. Though a bit grayer."

Hiram laughed and kissed his shorter mother on the forehead. "Yes, well, the girls are a bit wild and tend to drive him crazy."

Kathy turned around and smiled at Leroy. "And you, why you haven't changed at all. Still a picturesque man, and with color in your hair. My, aren't you just a sight."

"And still Jewish," he replied, smiling at his mother-in-law. She walked over and gave him just as tight of hug as her son.

"We can't all be perfect, can we?" Kathy stepped away and looked around. "And where is my beautiful granddaughter, I would have expected her to be in here with you, talking up a storm already."

James looked up at Leroy over his wife, raising an eyebrow. "She's in the basement."

"Why would she-"

"She's with Quinn."

Kathy went still. Leroy had heard enough of the conversations Hiram had the previous week with his mother to know that she did not care for the blonde, in any way, shape or form. That a bully would never be welcomed in her house, that someone as cruel as Quinn could never deserve a wonderful girl like Rachel, that she was the devil and would get what was coming to her. Took an hour, but his husband was able to persuade Kathy to let Rachel bring her girlfriend. "Oh. Well, that's nice, I guess."

"Ma," Hiram said. "Rachel adores Quinn and-"

Kathy waved her hand in the air, refusing to look at him as he tried to define Quinn. "Probably stockholm syndrome or something awful, have you had her looked at, just to be sure she isn't being manipulated and controlled? I'm pretty sure that she would be capable of it, given all that Rachel said, especially after that whole babygate thing. What kind of girl would do something as horrible as lie to one boy about who the father is? She cheated on her boyfriend, of all things, and then tried to get out of the whole thing, playing them like puppets."

Leroy snorted. Despite whatever spin Rachel put on her stories, Kathy had walked away hearing only the negative of the Unholy Trinity, which she took to be a literal descriptor.

"I still can't believe that she brought that…that…"

"I could leave if that what you would prefer, ma'am," Quinn said. Leroy turned to see her standing perfectly still, and Rachel wrapped herself around her completely. The dogs sat at both their sides, and he was sure they were glaring at Kathy. "I am sure that it is possible to find a car service or something and-"

"No," Rachel said, stomping her foot. "This is the first time that I've even wanted to bring someone here and you are not going anywhere. And if she can't stay, I'll…I'll…" she swallowed heavily before looking up at her girlfriend and giving her a weak smile. "I guess I'll go with her too."

"Rae, no." Quinn's voice was drowned out by the rest of the family. Particularly James' cry of shock. Even the dogs joined in at the sound of Rachel leaving. Leroy said nothing. He watched as Quinn stared, eyes wide and mouth slightly open, tears in her eyes, not at her leaving, but that someone would join her. He watched as Rachel returned a sad smile, not because she would leave, but that Quinn would leave for her. He watched as Kathy just glared at them, at Quinn, for daring to take her granddaughter away. Sometimes, people had the wrong priorities, even if they thought they were doing the right thing.

His husband whistled and everyone looked at him, except for Quinn. Leroy looked back quick enough to see her still looking down at Rachel. "Rachel is right," Hiram said, finally, cutting through the commotion. "Quinn is a guest just as much as anyone else, Ma. It is not your place to judge or condemn her." He didn't look at his mom, and Leroy was never as proud of his family as that moment.

Kathy said nothing. She glared at Quinn. Leroy gave points for the blonde though. She returned the glare with just as much intensity, and had position Rachel slightly behind her. There was no need for the full defensive posture, but he found it endearing that she would keep Rachel safe from all sources, even family. After a moment she just nodded and walked out of the room.

"I am sorry for-" Quinn stared after the woman, but Rachel placed a finger over her lips. James returned to his pies, and Hiram decided to help him, leaving the girls alone to talk. Though Leroy was more than happy to ease drop.

"You are here because I want you here, because you are family to me just as much as anyone else," Rachel said softly. He frowned at that thought, though it didn't surprise him. Quinn was important to Rachel, and while they tended to spoil her, both of them knew that she would remain in their lives as long as their daughter wanted her. Rachel fell hard and deep when she found something she cherished; that part of her had nothing to do with what she was falling for. Broadway was the best example, until the blonde and her friends realized how wonderful a person Rachel really was and befriended her, until Quinn started to date her and returned that devotion.

He kept watching as tears started to form, but with a simple blink, they were gone and mask of calm and peace was on her face. Rachel frowned briefly before nodded and leaned up to kiss her cheek. "C'mon, I'm sure Poppa could use more help with his cooking, especially since he cannot cook a vegan recipe to save his life."

"Just don't see the point in slaughtering those poor defenseless vegetables, dear," he said with a smile. He also nodded at Quinn, smiling at her. "Come, Quinn, you can help me with the natural and right way of making a delicious, true, American apple pie. Butter and bacon fat." Rachel stomped her foot and glared at him, only to earn a laugh from Hiram.

"I would love to, Mr. Berry," she said.

"Please, as Rachel has seemed too stated, I do believe you're in for the long haul, whether you want to be or not, so Poppa is perfectly fine." Quinn's smile widen slightly, before it slipped back beneath the mask.

"Thank you." Hiram stepped back as Quinn moved next to him. Whether James understood that she was thanking him for letting her stay, for getting to know her, for accepting her, or even just trying, it didn't really matter. Rachel smiled as her grandfather and her girlfriend worked together on something simple as making a pie, sharing a conversation about the upcoming football games, before gathering some breakfast with her Dad for everyone.

The day was trying for Quinn, especially after the brief outburst in the kitchen. While Poppa had decided that she was okay, or at least was willing to get to know her, Mrs. Berry had already decided who Quinn was. She returned from wherever she disappeared to, changing into what looked like a more comfortable and warm skirt and long-sleeved shirt, and she started to prepare dishes for the next day. She had been willing to talk to everyone, but Quinn was a non-entity as far as the woman was concerned, during lunch and everything. She stepped around her and went about her business. Which was fine, she guessed, though Rachel was ignorant of it.

The Berry's home was more spacious than Quinn realized, but it was nothing like the open and empty building she lived in when her birth father lived with them. After the divorce, her mother received the house, but they never really felt comfortable in there. Quinn knew her mother was waiting for her to graduate to sell the place and purchase a smaller home, something for the two of them, or her and her significant other once she found someone.

After dinner, they retired to a large living room, where Hiram had started a fire, and Rachel curled up next to Quinn, despite Mrs. Berry's desire that she sit next to her. She knew the diva was cold, even with the extra sweater on and seated next to the fire, but she could not do anything about it, even it was something as simple as touching her lower back and letting her feel the heat from her body.

Rachel talked most that time, sharing stories and events from the year so far, sparing nothing, including their brief parting as Quinn struggled with herself and her own desires. At least she held back the fact that a tigress was sitting in the room and her sometimes present extra appendage. The story of Halloween was the same one they gave the Berry's when they brought her home that morning.

Mrs. Berry was excited and asked questions in the right places so Rachel could go on and one, into a rant regarding Mr. Schue's failings as a choral director, but since they had no one else, he was suffice.

The strangest thing was how Rachel's grandparents were interested in Rachel talking. Quinn was used to the rambling and the long winded paragraphs that she spoke in, but to see someone else who genuinely cared about all the details. With her friends, she never spoke this much, not any more really. She was almost normal teenager, but then, Quinn suspected it was a learned trait. Rachel never really interacted with many people, and did not have friends to really talk to about her life, so having a family member listen was something she cherished and loved. At least now, she had Santana and Brittany as well. And Brittany adored the ramble-speak.

Hiram stood up and looked at Quinn, then tilted his head in the direction of the kitchen. She nodded at him. "Quinn and I are gonna bring some coffee and hot chocolate in, sound good?" He asked. Rachel offered her a gentle smile and a squeeze before she left her, even if it was willingly.

The kitchen was disconnected from the living room, enough that Quinn realized no one would really hear them talk. Hiram started to remove cups from various cabinets, taking what were probably favorites given the different sizes and decorations. He started a kettle of water and a pot for the coffee before turned to her. "I'm sorry bout Ma," he said.

Quinn shrugged. "She is only trying to protect her family, especially from the big bad cheerleader." She could not really blame the woman, not after the years of hell and torment that she put Rachel through.

"She still shouldn't have said those things though," he replied.

"But that does not change that she thinks them," Quinn said. She leaned against the corner and wrapped her arms around herself.

"No, no it doesn't." Neither spoke for a bit, which was fine with Quinn. She just listened to the conversations down the hall. They may not be able to hear anything from the kitchen, but she could hear most things in the house. At least the dogs remained in living room. They were okay, she guessed, but mostly were under foot whenever she stood up or tried to move around. And too big for her liking. She had not even felt that comfortable around the were-wolves, despite the fact she hung out with them in the beginning of school.

"I know I deserve it, really," Quinn said, keeping her eyes on the hard wood floor. "I am not ignorant of what I have done to Rachel, not now especially."

"She's forgiven you," he replied.

"I have not forgiven myself," Quinn looked up at him. "I do not think I will. But she has, for some strange reason, and let me be in her life, especially this role. I thank Him for that every day."

"One day you will," Hiram said. "I have faith in you." He turned back to the cups, arranging them and filling them with whatever strange things that people enjoyed, including her green tea with a dash of vanilla and honey. Rachel must have reminded him at some point.

"Do you," Quinn swallowed and tried again, "Do you forgive me?"

"You make Rachel happy," he replied. "Happier than she's ever been."

"That does not answer the question."

"I know." So that was a no then. Quinn nodded and turned to leave. The kettle went off, and Hiram quickly made all the drinks, but he did not look at her. "I don't want you to think that you are not welcomed in our house, Quinn. You have done so much for Rachel, and have been such a great influence in her life."

"But you do not forgive me," Quinn repeated. She half expected him to try to argue, but cut him off before he could say anything else. "It is okay, as I have said, I do not deserve it. That Rachel does, even if she will never forget, will have to be enough for me."

She left the kitchen and headed to the living room, and paused in the doorway. Mrs. Berry had moved to her seat next to where Rachel was supposed to be. She was talking about how horrible Quinn had treated Rachel, and how this was all some terrible trick she was performing, that it would only hurt her granddaughter, and she was not going to stand for it. Leroy said nothing. Quinn had hoped, in some part that had not really existed until the summer, that this would be different, a better holiday, even if most of her knew it would be the same emotions anyways. That it would be the same in a different way. Fabray gatherings were about showman ship and one-upmanship. It was about showing off how perfect and wonderful and fake everything was. Quinn hated them.

Rachel had seemed so hopeful, and it bleed over into her. But the greeting from Mrs. Berry, the reminder that she had hurt someone who mattered more than anything to her, that the two men in her life, despite her reservations and fears, had opened their home for her, welcomed her, had not forgiven her what she did to their daughter. Rachel returned from the bathroom, sat down, and then looked surprised to see Mrs. Berry sitting next to her. At least the verbal truth had stopped when her girlfriend entered the room, Quinn guessed.

She schooled her features in the perfect daughter she had learned so long ago and walked behind the couch that Rachel was curled up in. Quinn leaned down and kissed her cheek. As she stood back up, she offered her best smile to the remaining people, sweet as she could make it, just like she was with the Fabray's. "I am sorry, but I think I am going to go lie down. Rachel had me wake up early, and that is never a good thing with me."

Rachel turned around fast enough she might have given herself whiplash. Leroy said nothing, but just looked at her, while James was confused. Mrs. Berry did not look at her. Quinn nodded and walked out, stepping around Hiram as he walked back in, balancing a tray. He gave her a questioning glace as she continued to basement.

Despite being fully finished, Quinn was not surprised that the temperature had not changed from early. She did not turn on the light as she stepped through the soft carpet into her room. It was a matter of thoughtlessness to change into sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt, then to curl up into a ball in the corner, wrapped in her blanket.

She dozed lightly, and at some point, a light turned on and she shifted to bury her head in pillow. Quinn just wanted to sleep, and nothing was really going to stop her. Eyes stared at her for a bit, then moved on. Zippers and shifting cloths before the light turned off and the bed squeaked behind her. A hand stretched down and scratched the back of her neck. Quinn did not move. She just returned to sleep.

At another point, sometime later, the bed shifted again, and the footsteps padded over to her. She turned over and opened her blanket, where a shivering body quickly moved into her embrace. The comforter settled over them, and Quinn pulled the body even closer. Hands slide under her shirt and frozen feet touched hers. A soft snore vibrated her chest, and Quinn slipped back into dreamless darkness.

Nov. 27th

Quinn woke up to nothing. The room was dark and black and cold. Very, very cold, though only outside the little nest they had made. They. She looked down and found Rachel curled up in her arms, face buried into her chest. She felt hands up her back, and feet interlocked with hers. Sometime during the night, she had come down from the bed and joined Quinn on the floor. Rachel's breathe felt very cool against her fur, even under the comforter and blanket she had.

Fur? She blinked away the sleep, and her tail shifted in the nest, almost exposing them to the cold, but a wiggle and a shift, and they were bundled up again. Her ears darted about, twisting a bit as she tried to focus on one thing that mattered the most to her: Rachel's gentle snore.

She hated holidays. Hated them with a fire that only was dwarfed by her anger her first couple years of school. Every year, no matter what, she was alone, despite how many people there might be around her. Fabray events were held with the purpose of showing off how wonderful people were and how horrible you were in comparison. Her father performed well, ensuring that Quinn, despite whatever praise he gave out, was always left with the knowledge that she was not, never would be, as good as she should be. At least, that was when he was sober for those times. The door to the upstairs opened. Over the years, until he disowned her, her father drank more and more, her mother joining him in. At least she avoided Quinn when she was drunk, her father just made his anger known in regards to his only daughter, as far as he was concerned, and her actions and why they would never be good enough.

The winter was the worst. What with Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's all within a month of each other. Her father made everything that she could fix and do better known to her, even if she had heard it all just the holiday before. Even her uncles from the Fabray-side liked to give their opinions regarding her, especially when her father prompted. The women never spoke at this gathers, at least while the men were around; they just served or looked pretty.

Rachel shivered and she tightened her arms around her girlfriend.

Quinn had thought that, despite being alone physically this year, it would be better. No one would have at least told her how much she had failed, even if they tried to hide it in praise. The third step from the bottom creaked. Her mother wanted to go see Francine, and as much as Quinn wanted to go, and it was not that much, she knew it was not time for them to reconcile yet. They had said some things, a great deal of them, when she left and she had not forgiven herself for saying them yet. Her mother said it was not her fault, but really, she was the one who thought the the words, she was the one who felt them, she was the one who spat them out at her only sister. Even if it was just rhetoric parroted from her father.

Rachel tried to curl in deeper. Quinn shifted them until she was the new blanket for the diva.

Things were supposed to be bleak for Thanksgiving. That was how it was always. And then Rachel brought a sliver of sunshine. A simple request and things had changed so rapidly, she barely held on as the Berry's pleaded that Quinn be allowed to join them to her mother, brought across country after being woken up at an unholy hour, and welcomed into a home that was not her own.

Except she was not.

Poppa, no Mr. Berry, she told herself. Mr. Berry had already started to speak the same way the rest of her relatives did whenever they saw her. Leroy, Mr. Berry, she corrected, had tried to help, he really did, and it was sweet. But she did not want pity or sympathy or anything really. Something softly, barely existent, scratched against wood. Mrs. Berry had confirmed what she had always believed, even if she knew the woman only said half of what she felt, and then Mr. Berry just confirmed what she knew about them, about Rachel, about her.

Forgiveness was for the faithful, the worthy, the just. And she would never be forgiven. Rachel was blinded by some strange thing Quinn had yet to figure out, but everyone else knew the truth.

She was a monster. That was what Mrs. Berry called her, called her actions against Rachel, called her personality. A beast of anger and fury and rage. Lucille Quinn Fabray was barely human, and it-

The door opened, and she did not move from her spot over Rachel, just tightened her grip and readied to attack whoever got close. The growl formed slowly in her, and she felt her fingers tighten and lengthen, the pain of the nails ripping through and around her finger tips as they grew into claws.

Mr. Berry, elder, leaned down and placed something next to the door before kneeling next to it and fiddling with the cord. She focused onto it and in the pale light saw a small heater of sorts. He plugged it and started it up before standing and looking into the room. A frown formed on his face. He pushed open the door a bit wider, though paused as the light covered them.

Quinn pulled the comforter over her head and hunched down, willing her ears and claws and tail and fur away, as fast as she could. Heat rushed out from her, and Rachel sighed against her, though pulled her closer. Once she felt a tad bit more human, at least in form, Quinn pulled the blanket down from her head.

"Sorry," he whispered, though he did not have to. Quinn heard him coming down the stairs, though barely remembered ignoring those details. "Didn't mean to wake you?"

Quinn could not form words, despite her mind being wide awake. "Whaztymizt?" She muttered into Rachel's hair.

"A bit after seven," Mr. Berry said. "Forgot how cold it got down here. We forgot to give Star this last night."

Quinn wanted to sit up and look at him, but the heater had not done enough to warm the room, to warm Rachel up yet, for her to feel comfortable enough to move from her grip.

He was telling the truth, in a way, she figured. Her hearing was not the best in complete human form, but enough for her to hear that slight hitch when he said the last sentence. "Mrs. Berry forgot to give it to me, you mean," she replied, speaking slowly to make sure every word came out.

Mr. Berry said nothing.

"Despite Rachel's desire for me to be here," Quinn said. "I think it would be best for all parties that I just leave." She did not want to it, but she was making everything difficult for everyone. Mr. Berry struggled to find his words around her, and Mrs. Berry clearly disliked her. Mr. Berry looked at her with some pity and sadness (Quinn wanted neither), and Mr. Berry just did not desire her presence, only tolerated it for Rachel's sake. If four people found it unpleasurable to be around her, then how would a houseful feel?

"Dear, why do you-" He started to speak at a normal level, but stopped. He stared at her, as though he could read her, but Quinn had flattened any expression she had, any emotion she might have shown. "Come up stairs, and at least have something to eat before you go." Mr. Berry stepped away from the doorway, but held it slightly open for her.

Quinn debated about not going upstairs, about just packing up and leaving, or staying with her girlfriend until she woke up and at least telling her. Rachel was snoring softly, and she did not want to pull away from her. But the tone was enough like her father's to tell Quinn that it was not a request. That if she was going to leave, she would have breakfast with them.

She took her time, making sure that the comforter and her blanket never pulled off of Rachel, but eventually, Quinn stood next to the bed. She adjusted a strap of her tank and shifted her sweats so they were at least center. Her eyes never left Mr. Berry's.

He just nodded and walked away, leaving her to follow. She looked down at Rachel, who pulled her arms and wrapped them around herself, hugging the air that she once resided in. Quinn pulled the remaining sheets off the bed and covered her up the best she could, hoping that kept a bit more heat in for her diva.

After a minute, she was satisfied enough that she walked away, only giving a glance back every other second or so. It would have to do. Quinn hoped to be at least in a taxi to somewhere she could find a way home before Rachel woke up. That way she could not see the tears in her eyes. Quinn did not want to see hers either.

Upstairs, the house was a bit warmer, but not by much. Everything was painted through a pale, grey hue, muffled by the lacey-shades covering the windows. A light hung down the hallway. She walked smoothly across the frozen wood floors, stepping over the pair of sleeping dogs. One stood up as she walked by, the black furred one, and followed her, a step behind her. Quinn kept looking back at it, but the dog simply offered a soft smile. She guessed that was its expression.

Quinn walked into the kitchen, where Mr. Berry was sitting at the counter, reading "Return of the King" and Mr. Berry walked over to the stove-top, preheating some pans. Bacon sat open on the counter. She fought the urge to eat it raw. Barely.

"Quinn," Mr. Berry closed his book and stepped toward her, opening his arms. She stood still for a second, only moving when she watched the frown on his face. But she did not enter his embrace, rather she stood a few feet away from him, but more in the kitchen at elast. And closer to the bacon. He lowered his arms slowly. "Sleep well?" Quinn did not return the hug.

"Enough," she replied.

"Rachel okay?" Mr. Berry asked.

"When I left her," Quinn said. She watched as Mr. Berry as he pulled some bacon off and threw it into a pan. "The heater will help, I believe."

"Yes," Mr. Berry looked up from the stove, "My wife said she was taking care of it, and I figured she knew that at least Rachel was down there."

"So, it would have been fine for me to be cold?" Quinn asked. It was not a fair question to ask, and maybe a bit insolent, but it was all she had left. This place was no for her. Just as the Hudsons, or the Jones, or Puckermans, or anyplace really. There was no home for her. Just buildings she slept in. Before either man could respond, she continued. "Really, I do appreciate that you have let me be part of this holiday family experience with you, but I think I am going to leave today, before anyone else arrives. It is fine. I understand. I am the one who tormented your granddaughter and hurt her more than anyone else has. I am the one who made her life hell and so, it is fine that you do not-"

"Quinn," Mr. Berry said. She did not want to go, really, it was not her main choice, but she would not cause any more problems for Rachel. They could make their relationship work, she figured, it would not work today, or that week. Maybe Rachel was wrong in thinking that she should be here. She could stay, be warm and with a family that wanted her, and Quinn could go back to what she was her original holiday plans: either sit in her room alone or run in the woods alone. Maybe that was all she was mean to be, alone. If she could not get along with her family, why would Rachel want her around?

"I understand because I am the reason why she was so isolated and alone. Me. No one else caused this or did anything to lead to it. Santana and Brittany were just following orders and-" Mr. Berry took a step forward and she took another step back. "And I was doing it because I wanted to. So please do not take it out on them, I am sure that the both of them would love to continue to hang out with Rachel and, I-" she swallowed and stepped back again. Her face was wet, and her hands shook. "I just need to know that she will be fine with them, so please just tell her that-"

Mr. Berry tried to embrace her, but Quinn ducked and stepped back again, right into the edge of the doorway, inches from the dog. He had no reason to comfort her. She was the one who did them wrong. Quinn realized that now. To hurt one member of a family, was to hurt them all. In a way, she wished she had that. Her father did not care if she hurt, even if she worked herself so hard that she cried from the cramps he just said to suck it up and do better. So she did. Her mother never spoke up against anything, sitting there in silence as he commanded the room and attention, no matter how long it took, even if they had to wait for dinner, even if she had to miss dinner for whatever reason. She was trying, they both were, but neither erased what the eight years without her sister brought upon her. She had no family, just relatives.

Rachel had a family. Rachel had people who welcomed her into their arms no matter what she did, no matter how much she hurt. As long as she was their daughter, she was accepted. As long as Quinn succeeded, she was tolerated. "Thank you for the offer of Breakfast, but I need to-"

"Quinn," Rachel whispered, stepping up from behind her and wrapping herself around her waist. She had the comforter over her shoulders, enveloping her. Quinn brought her arms down and gave a gentle hug, then tried to move away, but the diva would not allow it. "I don't want you to go."

"I cannot stay here, Rae," Quinn said, swallowing deeply. "It is… Rae, please, understand that… I need-" Her words failed her. Everything tasted wrong in her mouth, even with bacon so close. The tigress needed freedom, she needed to get away from everything. Tigers were loners by nature, and yet Rachel refused to let her follow that. And her tiger-self loved that. But now, now when others made it perfectly clear why she should be alone, she was not allowed that.

"You can go for a run," Rachel said, her words breathed on her bare shoulder. "Anyway you need, free as you need. But you come back, you hear? That is not an option kitty." Quinn nodded. "I need words, kitty, promise me you'll come back."

"But I-"

"Things will be better when you do. Above all else, Lucille Quinn Fabray," Rachel kissed her shoulder, pressing her lips against her for a long pause. "I love you and I want you here. If nothing else is important, if everything else is hurting you, I promise I'll keep you safe and protected. Just remember that. Just remember I will always be there by your side, keeping the world from you. Me and you."

They had not said the words yet, or at least, not really meaning them. High school was so strange, and things were accepted in ways she did not understand. Quinn never said them, she could not. Not to Rachel, not until she was sure that her girlfriend understood how committed she was. The past two days, hell the past twenty hours, Rachel had made two statements of how she was in it for long run.

Rachel wanted to stay with a beast. The tigress wanted to shake free and run even faster. Quinn wanted this, she wanted it so badly, yet Rachel was saying the words out of desire to keep her there, maybe she did not really believe them and she-

"Words, Quinn," Rachel whispered. "If you can't promise me anything, just promise that you'll come back so we can talk."

"I promise," she said, and brought one of Rachel's hands up to her mouth, kissing the back of it softly. Rachel let her go and Quinn ran out of the room, out of the door, into the subzero morning and quickly transformed into her tiger-self, running into the empty field.

Because tigers did not cry when they were not welcomed. They just accepted it and moved on.

!-!-!-!-!

Rachel understood, in a very basic and simple way, that Quinn was dealing with a lot of things. Though she never said anything, her girlfriend's home life was not the best, especially before she got pregnant. Things got better, in a strange way, and yet she was still the same head-cheerleader looking for approval, unable to actually be Quinn.

She leaned her head against the doorway molding and sighed, pulling the comforter tighter around herself. Waking up to somewhat warmth but alone was not a fun thing for her. Rachel liked that Quinn had accepted her so easily and pulled her in tight, letting her be the electric blanket that she normally had. She knew that her girlfriend had left at some point, when things had grown slightly colder, but the whirl of the heater kept her in a mildly hazy state that Rachel didn't quite realize that she was still sleeping on the floor and that Quinn and left her.

For as long as she could remember, Rachel loved Thanksgiving. Any holiday really. She loved seeing the Berry family, the wide amount of faces and people. They accepted her, quirks and all, let her be part of the games and play and laugh with them. The holidays were time for family and joy and songs and smiles. They were a time to forget everything that was happening at home and just be. She had friends, of sorts, within her family, and it was nice to be normal in a way she didn't have at school, at home. But the Unholy Trinity tried to give her that this summer, succeeded in fact. And then Quinn let her in, stole her heart and held it so tightly that now, when she needed to run away, Rachel was unsure of what to do. What was going to happen?

She wanted to scream and yell at her family. Her dad and Grandma, but the only person to really blame about this whole situation was herself. Rachel hadn't expected to find a great friend in Quinn, to fall in love, yes love, so completely and fully, that she was going to lose herself in her if she ever left her, which she wouldn't, part of the many reasons she had put in her list as to why it was acceptable for her to love Quinn Fabray. She expected to have a tentative, but open, pseudo-friendship where they were no longer antagonistic towards each other. So, she told many of the stories that she had told so freely at home about how the girl was a bit of a bully and liked to pick on her. She never went into the full details, but her parents knew better, and they probably shared it with her grandparents. No, the only person to blame for Quinn's alienation was herself.

Now, Quinn had run out the door, away from her, when Rachel had thought that she had finally gotten her girlfriend running towards her. But it wasn't really away from her. It was away from her family, away from family in general, but mostly her family and how they did not want her around. That was a truth that she needed to accept. In her joy of bringing and showing off her girlfriend, Rachel had forgotten all that she had said about her and how her Grandma would react. She had forgotten about how different this was going to be from her normal holiday. She had forgotten to warn Quinn about the noise that was going to be around, the energy the life, the laughter, how these things were going to be so different from her previous years. Quinn promised to come back, and Rachel would have to trust that promise.

"Star?" her Daddy said. Rachel leaned up from her spot and offered the best smile she could. But it was probably hindered by her tears that had leaked out at some point. "You okay?"

"We can't let her go out there," Poppa said. "She's barefoot and those cloths aren't going to-"

"Quinn will be fine," Rachel replied. "I promise."

"Star, she's practically naked in that outfit, as far as winter is concerned, I refuse to let that girl freeze because of this whole mess." He took a step forward to Daddy caught his arm.

"Quinn has a spare sweater and boots in our car, she knows the code to get in." That was a lie, her daddy lied for her. Why would he do something like that? "She'll be fine. She just needs space, I hope."

Poppa nodded, though was clearly unhappy about the whole thing. Whether it was Quinn running out or what caused her to think that she had to leave, Rachel didn't know.

"Star," Daddy asked, He stood in her space now and looked down at her, a weak and sad smile on his face. "Seriously, is she going to-"

"I don't know," Rachel said. She moved into his chest and arms automatically wrapped around her. "She's not used to this. Family stuff, and all, not with her sperm donor."

"Sperm donor?"

"Santana's term." Rachel smiled and pulled away. "It is one of the more generally tame names she has for Quinn's biological father." Daddy nodded.

"Sorry, Star," Poppa said from the counter. "I didn't think that she'd be so…"

"Skittish?" Daddy offered. Poppa nodded.

Rachel sighed and stepped over to the island, taking one of the stools and sitting it. She took a moment and wrapped the comforter tighter around her. It was warmer upstairs, but without Quinn, even her presence, and the knowledge that her girlfriend was safe and comfortable, she just felt colder. "The adults in her life had been somewhat lacking for her. Men in general, really." She didn't want to go into Quinn's past, not any more than was truly necessary. Her desire to talk and ramble disappeared out the door with the tigress. "Most people have seen her for one thing or another, used her for that, and lately, the consequences have been getting worse and worse."

Daddy sat next to her and rubbed her back. "You know that we care about her right?"

Rachel wanted to snort, but fought it down. If they did, they would not have driven her off.

"Your dad has just inherited his mom's protectiveness, that's all," he continued. "He likes her, both of us do."

"Yet not enough to want her here,"

"What did I tell you the day she brought you home? That as long as you want Quinn around, want her with you, she is always welcomed where you are."

"Then why not here?" Rachel wiped her eyes. "Why not with my family and with us, where she could at least see what we are like and how happy it is and how much fun it is? There are songs, Daddy, songs! And she didn't get to hear them because we drove her off."

"You did nothing wrong," Poppa said. He pulled the pan off the fire, turned it off and walked over to them. "You of all of us did nothing wrong. I know Leroy here at least tried to comfort her, give her something to keep her with us, but I'm afraid that it didn't work."

"I tried to tell her bout my pa, Star," he said. Rachel understood. She never met Daddy's parents, mainly because they didn't speak any more, and wished him and his husband and their daughter to burn in hell for their sins. "And how your Dad's family welcomed me with open arms, but then-"

"Grandma spoke up about how Quinn hurt me. Yeah, I figured something like that from our conversation last night." Rachel leaned into her father. "This wasn't how it was supposed to be, Daddy. She was supposed to wow you all with her smile, her laugh, the joy she brings. She was supposed to be so happy here. I was happy she was here."

"But how can a person be happy when they are so uncomfortable?" Poppa sat on the other side of her.

"We made it that way," Rachel replied. She leaned down on the counter, her forehead resting on the cool marble.

"Not you," Daddy said. "The rest of us? Some more than others. And when the rest of the family arrives, it'll be a bit more, but then again, they don't know as much as Grandma and Poppa, here."

"Your father told me, sweetie," Poppa added.

"Told you what? When?" Rachel sat up quickly, turning fast enough and dropping her comforter. Her daddy had no right in giving Quinn's secrets away. It wasn't a secret per say, but no one talked about it, because she didn't want them to talk about it.

"It wasn't much, but enough for me to get a better picture." Rachel glared at him. "Star?"

"I will not have you psychoanalyzing her when she is not here," she said. "I'd prefer if you didn't at all, but clearly as my father happened to already tell you more about her then she would like, I know you've already formed another opinion on her solely on what she has done and has happened to her."

"You can't deny that our past shapes us, that it helps form the basis of who we are, how we deal with the world and perceive it."

"I can when you are doing it to someone who has not asked you to," Rachel crossed her arms. "Quinn has enough to bear, enough judgment on her from everyone that she doesn't need any more."

Her grandfather nodded and walked away, back to preparing breakfast for the family, well for everyone else. Rachel honestly didn't care what he had to say, what opinions he brought from his profession. It didn't matter, mainly because she felt that Quinn wouldn't want them. Sure, it was her choice to make to tell Poppa and Daddy more than they knew, more than she knew, but Rachel learned never to push her, never to force her out of her comfort zone too quickly. At least this weekend, she was supposed to support her and offer her that comfort, but Rachel had gotten lost in the family dynamics she was used to and abandoned Quinn to her own defenses. After a day.

Her daddy just smiled at her, gave her a one-armed hug and returned to his paper. Poppa would finish breakfast, and Grandma would come down at some point, waking Banner, and joining Stark in the kitchen, moderately begging for a bite of whatever was being made. Soon, the rest of the Berry Clan would show up. And while Quinn would return eventually, she promised, she didn't know when that would actually be.

Apparently, Quinn wouldn't return until after the rest of her extended family arrived and packed into the medium sized home, after they sat down for the meal, after games were played, songs were sung, and laughter was, well, laughed, she guess. In fact, Quinn didn't show up again until it was well in the night, after her most of them had left, and she retired to the basement.

Grandma noticed Quinn's absence, and while she didn't say anything directly bad about her, she did mention that her leaving was probably for the best, which didn't help Rachel's mood. It was evident that she was unhappy, at least her dad, daddy, and Poppa. Dad tried to talk to her a bit after her Uncle Andy's family arrived, all six of them, but she stepped away and joined her little cousins, scooping up Cindy and laughing with them. She saw him speak with her daddy and the subject was promptly dropped.

Poppa attempted to corner her in the kitchen as she helped prepare the vegetables and soups for the first course, including her vegan options, which he was actually decent about and really didn't need any help. He was worried that she was gone as long as she had been, but Rachel didn't really respond, other than say that Quinn was safe and it was fine. Even Grandma said something after dinner when desert was passed out and the board games were being played, and people were laughing and joking about. Everyone but her. She was present, but her mind was out with Quinn, running and racing in the cold.

Daddy didn't say anything. Rachel appreciated it, even though she knew he wanted to. He wanted to offer whatever words of endearment he could, anything he could do to comfort her that Quinn wasn't around. It wasn't enough. Some of cousins had heard that she was supposed to have brought someone and they wondered where that someone was. Rachel lied to them, because they wouldn't have understood the truth, and then told their parents and things would have gotten a bit messy with the game of telephone. She said that plans changed and her friend wasn't able to make it.

The younger ones asked many questions about her friend, while Uncle Kenny's twins, closest to her in age, asked if it was a boyfriend. Apparently by the face she made, they understood her response without ever saying anything. Her uncles and aunts didn't mention it, or anything really about her social life, and Rachel was happy, no content, with that. She talked of school, of glee, of her role in the play, of her college dreams, of everything except her friends and her girlfriend.

After the late lunch, early dinner was served and they all separated to do various things, after five o'clock rolled around, Rachel accepted that Quinn would not be showing up as long as the majority of her family was present. It hurt, but not necessarily that she was left alone, but why she was without her girlfriend. The only reason Quinn would stay away from her, the only thing that made sense whenever she remained far away this year, was that she was under some strange notice that she was protecting her. In this case, Quinn was letting her enjoy her family time without having to worry about the unwanted friend who should be in attendance, but clearly wasn't. She was wrong about that, but Rachel at least knew why.

Some aunts mentioned her mood, but Rachel just gave her Broadway smile and changed the subject quickly. It worked well enough to drop it then and there, but she saw the glances and the frowns. She ignored them.

The holiday simmered down, and Rachel watched and clapped and smiled as everyone performed but her, which clearly was a bad thing, and gave her many stares and glances, but no one said a word. Most of her aunts and uncles had already talked to her fathers, and whatever they told them would be all they got. She didn't want to talk about it.

The worst thing about Quinn's departure and Rachel not getting to show off her amazing girlfriend was that she was cold. She stole a cheerio sweatshirt from Quinn's duffle and wore it, she was left with an endless chill that sat just beyond anything she could do. Rachel was exhausted and tired, and after the stupid Jesse issue, now she was left alone to think of all that had gone wrong, and it didn't help her being cold. Most of it was simply psychosematic, but she didn't care. Rachel was cold without Quinn.

The room was warmer now, and as much as she wanted to curl up where Quinn had slept the night before, the ground was hard and would be colder without her girlfriend, so she settled for stealing her blanket and wrapping herself up in the scent of wilderness, freedom, and loneliness.

Ten o'clock, her phone said, and it was nearly pitch black in the basement bedroom. She stared up at the ceiling and debated about throwing it at the wall, though Dad would not have been happy with her considering. Over fifteen hours without seeing her, without hearing from her, and now she was wide awake because of some stupid fear that her tiger girlfriend was hurt and injured and-

"Hey," Quinn said.

Rachel didn't scream, she had that much control, but she did jump high enough and far enough to fall off the other side of the bed, flailing and dragging both Quinn's blanket and the comforter and the two pillows with her. After a moment of reorganizing herself and getting situated, she knelt up and looked across the bed at her, then reached offer to the nightstand and turned on the light.

Quinn was naked, or at the very least topless, and knelt on the other side of the bed across from her. She was covered in spots of dirt and mud, but no real injuries that Rachel could see. The worst of it seemed to be her bloodshot eyes. Any sign of the tiger was gone.

"Over fifteen hours," she said. She didn't move.

"I know."

"You missed breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and worst of all desert."

Quinn just nodded.

"You missed the games, the laughter, and the songs, Quinn," Rachel said. She wanted to stop her foot. "The songs."

"I'm sorry."

"No." She sighed and crawled up, back onto the bed, dragging the comforter, pillows, and blanket with her. It too a moment, but she was seated up against the headboaard, legs covered in all of the blankets, and moderately less cold. "I am."

"You are not the one who left." Quinn didn't move from her spot. Rachel had a decent view and if she shifted just a little bit, could star at the naked perfect breasts before her. She held herself back.

"No, but I may have as well forced you to," Rachel replied. "I'm not having this conversation with you groveling at my bedside. That's for play time or when you screwed up majorly, like insulting Barbara or making fun of my nose."

"It's a cute nose," Quinn said without a smile.

"Thank you." She patted the spot next to her. "Come, kitty. I want my bedwarmer."

"I see I still am wanted." Any other day, it would have been a joke, but now, it was a question of their relationship, all parts of it. Rachel wanted to cry, not because Quinn was questioning her devotion to it, but that others would be so harsh and judging on her that she had to wonder at her being accepted. Quinn climbed up slowly. Part of Rachel was jealous that she was so comfortable with her own nudeness that it didn't even register on her that she was naked. This was not playful Quinn, she had seen that version before. This was sad, defeated, and lonely Quinn. That was most of sophomore year. And it hurt to see that Quinn back.

"Quinn, I will always want you," she said. Quinn didn't respond. She just resituated the various blankets until she was curled up next to Rachel, head on her lap, letting the diva thread her blonde hair and scratch her slowly.

"Kay." Wasn't the response she was expected. Rachel didn't expect her to return with her undying love, or even a stammering of some confession, but indifference was something new for Quinn. There was at least distain or deep longing in her voice usually, maybe happiness when she was with Rachel and their friends.

"Use your words, kitty," Rachel said. Quinn nodded in her lap, but said nothing for a while. She just continued scratching the back of her neck and head, hoping that the small comfort would give some peace to her girlfriend.

"The last holiday I actually enjoyed was when I was nine years old and Frannie was still living at home. Dad was not home yet, some business meeting that was more important than us, and Mom was still sober," Quinn said. "We had this eight foot tall Christmas tree, and Frannie and I got to decorate it, my Mom watching us and laughing with us as I got messy from the glitter and fake snow."

"You must have been an adorable nine-year old." Her other hand took up the job of playing with Quinn's hair, running nails up and down her scalp, threading the fine, blond hair.

"I have always been pretty." It wasn't the same thing, but Rachel knew it was the closest to getting Quinn to talk about her whole appearance issues. Now was the time for her girlfriend to speak whatever had bothered her enough to send her running for fifteen hours. "Frannie brought this massive box of decorations for us to use and she was so excited about it. I was so excited about it. She was doing most of the decorating, I was simply playing with the garland, wearing it like a feather boa and acting like a princess. At point, she picked me up and sat me on these boxes, called it my throne, and then asked me where I wanted the ornaments. For the next hour, she let me command her, letting me make believe that I was actually a princess."

"Sounds wonderful," Rachel said.

Quinn smiled into her lap and turned into her legs, burrowing a bit further into her. Rachel felt her speaking for a moment, the tremors echoing up through her, but she heard no words. She didn't stop scratching her back, or running her fingers through her hair. She would speak when she was ready.

At some point, Rachel thought that Quinn had fallen asleep, she almost dead. But she turned back around, grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down so that she was laying on her. Rachel shifted amoment, getting comfortable, and rubbed her chin against Quinn's bare skin. She watched as Quinn stretched slightly, never letting her go, and pulled up the comforter with her feet. The entire time, she tried to be a good girl and not think about how her body bent and stretched and curved with such a graceful move, keeping her eyes on Quinn's face and neck. Really, she tried. But her girlfriend was so hot.

The comforter settled over them, and Quinn pulled her close. Rachel wrapped her arm over her stomach, tracing a patternless shape on her smooth skin. "I was so proud of our work. When Frannie was done, she came over to me and stood next to me, covered in glitter and fake snow. The tree was beautiful, so many colors and lights, different ornaments of types, sizes and shades filled it, so much so some limbs were bending under the weight. A star hung on the highest bough. I did not recognize it. It was not something we owned prior to that, but it was gold and bright and had these little lights all around it, blues and greens and purples and reds. My god, it was so beautiful, Rae. Our own little wonderland. Frannie told me about the North Pole, and all how it was this magical place and the lights danced in the sky with as many colors as on the tree. And how Santa would step outside and look up and smile, just as we were smiling, because it was so stunning. It was magic, and I believed her."

She swallowed and leaned down to kiss her hair. Rachel kissed her neck and pulled her tighter to her. "My father came home. He found us in the den, laughing and joking, a complete mess. Something must have gone wrong at the office because the first words out of his mouth were to scream at me for sitting on those bins. He then screamed at Frannie and I for making a mess, for our poor haphazard job of the tree, that it would never be acceptable to show such a horrible and ugly tree. He pushed Frannie down as he walked into the den, and then pulled the tree to the floor. The strings of lights shattered, along with dozens of bulbs of blues and greens and purples and reds, the round ornaments in pieces on the floor. Glitter and fake snow floated down, covering us. My mother said nothing.

"He just screamed and yelled and broke every last decoration that Frannie brought home for us, for me. Frannie just kept standing in front of me, keeping her body between my father and I. She screamed back at him, called him so many names, and he returned it so much, quoting scripture and citing the most important thing: what would our friends think."

Rachel was trying to ignore the hitch in her voice, the quiver every once in a while. She tried hard. But in the end, she just reached up and wiped the tear off of Quinn's cheek and snuggled back into her.

"In the end, Frannie left slamming a door and running to her room. My father slamming another and demanding that the mess be cleaned up, and my mother walking away to go find a drink, the first of many to come. I just sat on the tower of boxes, afraid to climb down."

Quinn sighed and rolled into Rachel, pulling her closer. She felt every curve of her, the way she easily fit into the girl, her head fitting just under her chin. She also tried to ignore the perfect set of breasts pressing against her, but damn did they feel good. "After finally getting down, I went to bed. In the morning, a new tree was set up, perfect in every way. I hated it, but said nothing. Frannie glared at it, and walked away. She never came home from school afterwards, she just left for the winter semester and I never saw her again. My mother started drinking, and my father did not really change. I have not had a tree, a real one, in a long time. That my last holiday."

Rachel stretched up and kissed her forehead, letting Quinn curl into her, letting her hold her for once. How often had she actually been held? Someone who wrapped their arms around her with no reason other than to give her comfort.

The worst thing about Quinn crying, and she was, because Rachel's shirt was wet, was the lack of sound. She never made a sound, and her shoulders barely moved. Rachel just pulled her tighter, and Quinn gripped her shirt harder.

Right now, the important thing was that Quinn came back to her. She ran away, sorted out whatever she needed to, and came back, even if everything wasn't better. And she opened up about something that was destroyed for her, and maybe she could bring it back.

Rachel wanted to tell Quinn about future, about the many Christmukkah they would have together, the trees, because each year there would be at least two and there'd be a competition, they'd decorate together, the presents exchanged, the nights spent together. The songs they'd sing. Songs! And Santana and Brittany would come before and they'd cuddle together and watch horrible movies, and Santana would force her to watch horrible horror movies and Quinn would save her, they'd bake cookies for Santa and then sit in front of the fire, waiting for the morning to come. Sitting together. Rachel wanted to tell her so many things, things she wanted very much, and she knew that Quinn wanted them, maybe, hopefully.

As Rachel started to feel her heart beat slow down, and everything grew quiet, she knew that sleep would find her very quickly. But she could have sworn she heard a whispered "I love you" though it was probably just wishful thinking.