Now what!? What're we going to do I think Emilio's dead! Oh shit! What have you done!" Jesse panicked, Walter pushed him into a chair.
"Sit down and shut up!" He commanded. "I tell you what we do it's easy, we kill principle Krazy 8 and we get rid of both their body's."
"N- no way this is gone to far!" Jesse said, panicking like any ordinary person would, he tried to get up but Walter pushed him down again. "We can't kill them!"
"What!? I can't just not kill somebody!" Walter huffed, shivering at the mere thought of letting his enemy's go. "That's wrong,"
"And we can't just get rid of the body yo, we have to give it a proper burial!" Jesse said, Walt frowned down at him. Was it even possible for him to do something good? Could he even live with himself?
"Okay well, your arranging the funeral." Mr Heisenberg said, Jesse scowled.
"No way man, I hate funerals!" Jesse said. "I went to one once and my Dad pushed me into and empty grave for not selling enough Meth-"
"Fine then! You can deal with Krazy 8. You can take him the hospital and convince him to not call the police, and sit by his bedside while he recovers, and hold his hands through surgery, and bring him presents everyday!" Walter shouted. "Because if we have to do the right thing here we're gonna go all the way! We're not just dropping him of at the hospital we have to look after him!"
"Why?" Jesse asked, super-confused. He didn't want to have to look after Krazy 8 though, "fine I'll just arrange the funeral!"
"You have to buy a coffin made out of mahogany."
"What! why?"
"He's an esteemed member of the public! People will expect the best..!"
"Uhh... Okay." Jesse said, still thinking maybe he should call the police after all- but the results were so good...
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my proper job drug-dealing. You get me a job while I'm gone." Walt said as he jumped out the window like a madman, once again leaving Jesse to clean up the mess.
Krazy 8 awoke with a sudden panic. Violent memory's cursed through his aching head, he'd been beaten up, hadn't he. The soft pillow beneath his head, and the gentle beeping of a machine next to him told him he was in hospital.
"Oh good, your up, rise and shine sleepy head." Said Walter, he thought it sounded sweet, but it was more creepy, Krazy 8 let out a moan of distress.
"You!? Are you here to finish the job!?" Krazy 8 gasped.
"I wish. I'm here to take care of you, want some orange juice?" Walt offered, it caused him actual physical pain to be 'nice' to someone like this. This probably wasn't helping his lung cancer at all..
"Nurse! Help!" Krazy 8 cried, nurse Badger came flying over
"Yo wassup, dude?"
"Throw this man out! He's evil!" The Principle said desperately, Badger just scratched his head, dumbly.
"Nah man, he's family, so he's aloud to stay." He said, struggling to remember hospital procedures.
"This man is not my family!" Krazy 8 cried out, wincing as a shock of pain ran through his broken leg.
"Nah man, he said he's your Dad."
"He's clearly not my father! We're not even the same race you in-bread spastic piece of mouldy shit!"
"Geeze man, if your gonna get abusive then I can't help you." Badger said, storming away, tears pricking his eyes. Didn't people realise it hurt when he got called names!? Walter meanwhile patted Krazy 8 on the head.
"Don't worry son, I'll take care of you." He said through gritted teeth. Man he wanted to kill the guy!
Jesse was reluctantly making funeral arrangements in his modest little terrest house, when all of a sudden an enraged and intoxicated Skyler White burst through his gate, her mouth frothing with liquid anger (yes, that's a thing.)
"You!" She hissed, and Jesse backed away,
"Yo of your selling anything, I'm not buying!" He said, trying to act like a calm sensible adult.
"I'm Skyler Heisenberg Yo, Wife of Walter Heisenberg, yo!" Skyler said, throwing up her arms wildly, Jesse felt his heart drop in his chest, and a cold panic run through him.
"Stay away from my husband, yo! My brother in law's a thug! He'll beat the shit out of you!" She shrieked.
"Okay! Yeah sure! Whatever! Just leave me alone!" Jesse said, backing away. Man, why was Mr Heisenberg's wife such a ball buster.
"So you're not going to educate him again, right?"
"Right!"
Skyler glared at Jesse, staring him down, then she realised something; Jesse was hot. "You wanna fuck?"
Jesse looked at the older woman awkwardly. "No thanks.."
"What!? You don't think I'm pretty!?"
"No uhh, your totally pretty- "
"Then fuck me!"
"No!"
Skyler glared at him. "You better give me a good fucking reason why, or I'll cry and you do not want to make a pregnant woman cry, especially when her brother in law's a thug!"
"Its because I'm... Gay!" Jesse lied. "Yeah. I totally love men. Mm."
Skyler looked at him for a moment before saying "Where the hell am I? Why am I here?". She looked around confused "the fuck're you!? Im going home!"
Jesse sighed, drugs really fucked people up. He was glad he quit back when he was 13.
"We are gathered here today, to lay to rest Emilio, who, although I've never met, has been described by his family as an expendable kind of guy who probably wont be missed." Father Combo said, sonmly. "We also give thanks to the anonymouse person who arranged this funeral, so that Emilio got like, a proper buriel, fo' shizzle!"
Jesse stood at the back of the crowd, scowling, "fucking funerals." He muttered, damn he hated grave yards! He'd wanted this whole ordeal over and done with so badly he'd bought the first coffin he'd see, and it happened to be made out of cardboard.
Suddenly, Jesse's phone rang he picked it up, and Walter's raspy voice hissed into his ear. "Jesse, I don't know if I can keep this whole looking after Krazy 8 thing going. Its killing me not killing him!"
"Yo, you think things are bad your end!? I've had your ball bustin' wife comin' over and threatening me. I'm stuck in a lame-ass funeral, and the whole school's messed up!"
"Your at the funeral now!?"
"Yeah that's another thing- why're you tryna get me to waste my time getting a mahogany coffin when I can just use a cardboard box?"
"You what!?" Walter cried out. Suddenly, Emilio's body cracked through the flimsy carpboard and slammed into the hard floor, it exploded for some reason and guts got everywhere. People screamed and fled the scene.
"You were saying?" Walter started smugly down the phone, to the shell-shocked Jesse. "Oh yes- dead bodies are fucking heavy so put them in a proper coffin."
"W- what?" Jesse stuttered, still aghast. "How'd you even know that just happened?"
"Jesse, I kill people and dispose bodies for a living, I can recognise the sound of an exploding corpse dropping out of a coffin anywhere." Mr Heisenberg said smugly. "God your such an imbecile!"
"Say ah- "
"Fuck of."
"Don't be mister moody- eat your soup. I made it especially, it's cocaine flavoured."
"-please! For the love of god!"
Walter had reluctantly been taking care of Krazy 8 for days now, and despite how much the lack of killing had disgusted him, he took his role very seriously. So, he forced his care onto the principle until the guy developed a sort of Stockholm syndrome. Since Walter was his only visitor, Krazy 8 ended up getting attached to his violent carer, who somehow had the ability to make food purely out of bullets, drugs and fags. Krazy 8's body took 2 weeks to heal, but it would take years of therapy for him to get over the psychological trauma. His mind was so warped by Walter's creepiness that he was sent to a mental asylum, and so as a result Walt was never arrested for his misdeeds, and his quest to become a teacher continued.