Kakashi Hatake was the second person to sneak into Naruto's room, which he did four weeks after Obito's impromptu drop in. Unlike his supposedly dead teammate, and quasi I- Hate- You- But- Would- Still- Die- For- You- And- You- Did- Die- For- Me- So- I- Feel- Guilty friend (it's complicated), Kakashi did not knock out the ANBU guards. He didn't need to. One pointed gesture from the infamous ANBU captain Inu and the rookies were off.
With an entirely male giggle, Kakashi snuck through the window, and cheerfully made his way to Naruto's bed. At the sight of the sleeping blonde, Kakashi rudely yanked up the small boy and placed him on his lap.
"Hello," Kakashi chirped, at Naruto's disgruntled glare, "I'm Kakashi!"
The blond boy sighed. "Supposed to be my brother figure?"
The silver-haired cyclops happily nodded.
"Busy for the last five years of my life?" Another nod.
"Strong shinobi, but you refuse to teach me any techniques?" A third nod.
"Alright," Naruto said finally, curling up trustingly on the jounin's lap, "Can you tell me any stories about my parents?"
So Kakashi went into the memory of Kushina's pregnancy when she had a ridiculously large craving for pickled-everything and poor Minato had to rush around the city, gathering the ingredients for picked toast or pickled ice cream, or Kushina's favorite, pickled ramen. This was followed by an account of Naruto's father's first apartment buying experience, where Minato made the mistake of notifying Jiraiya and ending up with an apartment in the red-light district. Naruto's favorite story involved Kushina's first D-rank mission- which Kakashi had heard second hand from Minato- when she accidentally-on-purpose set an annoying cat on fire.
"You're pretty cool, Kakashi," Naruto said, after the ending of the sixth story, "I think I would like to be a shinobi too."
Kakashi's eye crinkled into a smile. "Thanks Naruto. I think you'll make an excellent shinobi. You can attend the Academy when you're eight if you like."
Naruto pouted. "That's three YEARS. I'll be old then," he whined. Slyly, he looked up at Kakashi with wide eyes, "Can't I go to school earlier, nii-san?"
As an ANBU Captain, Kakashi knew that he was being played. As an antisocial, mentally scarred orphan who had just met his honorary little brother face-to-face for the first time in five years, Kakashi melted.
When he started hugging the stuffing out of the blond, Naruto knew that he had won. A little while later, Naruto readily agreed when Kakashi asked him if he could place a genjutsu on the blonde. In the back of his mind, Kakashi briefly wondered at his otouto's easy acceptance of his request.
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