Uchiha Madara was Naruto's most reluctant late-night visitor. This was not, as could be assumed, a reflection of his lack of an emotional connection with the sunny blonde, but because most of Naruto's other visitors were a little desperate to forge a familial connection. In fact, Madara would have most likely been indifferent to the little Uzumaki had not two of his top lieutenants been so fascinated with him. That such attention was bestowed upon an isolated jinchuuriki piqued his interest, and caused the powerful man to do some research into Naruto's background.

No, he did not care that Naruto was the Yondaime Hokage's son. Why should he? Minato Namikaze was just a talented upstart from a family of civilians.

His mother on the other hand… Kushina Uzumaki came from an exalted and illustrious lineage spanning generations. Her grandfather was the brother to Mito Uzumaki. Naruto was Hashirama's great grand-nephew and- unlike the disappointment that was Tsunade Senju- he was very much similar to his famous ancestor. Even Zetsu's cursory report detailed how idealistic, optimistic, and reckless the boy was.

As Hashirama's eternal rival, Madara felt that it was his duty to check up on the man's descendant. He wouldn't want anything bad to happen to his jinchuuriki investment, after all.

It would be insulting to describe how laughably easy it was for Madara to sneak into the child's home; the disparity between the sole Uchiha and the seven teams of ANBU (security had been beefed up since the multiple sleeping incidents) was borderline ridiculous. He was mildly disturbed to find the door unlocked and a set of new slippers- adult sized- placed neatly by the opening. Had the child no sense of survival?

Hashirama's survival instinct was none too impressive either, but even he had placed a trap or two around his sleeping quarters. And he didn't provide any would-be thieves with new- and comfortable- bunny slippers.

Madara had simply planned to walk in and check the available amount of food and whether or not hot water was available, but came upon a small snag. The child was awake.

"Hello," Naruto greeted the Uchiha politely, "Would you like some tea?" The small boy didn't wait for the older man to reply, before he lifted a heavy, steaming tea pot from the table and poured the hot liquid into two chipped cups.

Had anyone but Madara (or Kakashi or Shisui or Itachi) been there, they would have been disturbed by the ease with which the five-year-old completed this adult activity. Since Madara (or Kakashi or Shisui or Itachi) was a prodigy though, he did not think through the implications of having a child be so atypically self-sufficient.

"Ginseng?" Madara looked down in surprise, "That's my favorite, but an unusual choice for a child…"

"One of the other red-eyed guys bought it for me," Naruto replied, "He brought dango too. It's not as good as ramen, but do you want some?"

"Yes, thank you," Madara said automatically. The boy's words penetrated a second later. "Other red-eyed guys? Not including me, how many red-eyed people have you met, Naruto?"

"Itachi-nii, Obito-nii, Shisui-nii, and Kakashi-nii all had red eyes," Naruto listed off, matter-of-fact, "Obito-nii and Kakashi-nii only have one though. And Kakashi-nii hides his."

Madara stared at him. Good god, this child really was a true descendant of Hashirama. The idealistic Senju also had the irritating habit of attracting the attention, the interest, and then the affection of any and all Uchiha. His clan had never held much patience for inferior outsiders, much less those of the Senju variety. For Hashirama though, they would find this otherwise absent indulgence, and Naruto appeared to have inherited this knack.

To divert his sudden urge to hug/throttle the boy, Madara abruptly turned to the open-room kitchen and made his way to the cupboards. It took a single glance for him to determine that the child had an unhealthy obsession with ramen. A small box of dango- unopened- was the only other food available.

To be fair, it was only natural for a child with little adult supervision to consume only foodstuffs he enjoyed, but something felt distinctly off with that. He turned around and observed the silent boy again.

Spiky blonde hair. Bright blue eyes. Thin whisker marks on lightly tanned skin. He was adorable. Only… children weren't supposed to be that small, were they? And his clothes were rather thin for the cold weather. Madara frowned, and began to fiddle with the tap sink.

The tap didn't emit any hot water.

Madara's frown deepened.

"What are you doing?" Naruto demanded to know, his patience having run out, "Hey! Don't touch my cup ramen! Why are you taking them out of the cupboard?"

"To make room for some healthy food," was Madara's response, and- much to the Uchiha's irritation- it managed to make the boy's mouth close in stunned disbelief. His surprise- "Kami, did they even bother to feed him?" Madara thought savagely, angrily- did not last long as all of Madara's food was sealed in scrolls and that piqued Naruto's curiosity. The boy marveled at the inked scroll, which the Uchiha jerkily opened and poured his unique, dark chakra into.

"Awesome!" Naruto exclaimed, as a large cardboard box popped up in a puff of smoke, "Where did that come from? How did you do it? Can you teach me?"

"It came from an individual pocket space universe created by chakra and stabilized by the inked seals on this scroll," Madara felt slightly more comfortable in his lecture mode, "This is done by placing two layered circles of seals on top of each other. One serves the purpose of regulating time to keep the food fresh, whereas the other string of seals creates the pocket space. By mixing my blood, which carries molecules of the physical and spiritual energy needed to make chakra- with the ink, I have made it so that no one else can use this seal. You're too young."

Surprisingly enough, the child- whom Zetsu had denounced as fairly dim-witted- seemed to understand this. Or perhaps it was not so surprising since he was related to Mito Uzumaki- who was only slightly more tolerable than her husband because she did not insist to continue their nonexistent relationship. Hashirama never suffered from rejection, since he did not seem to understand it in any reasonable manner.

"What is that?" Naruto asked, clearly knowing full well what the glazed pastry in Madara's hand was as he looked at it with a wistful gaze. The Uchiha answered the question that was really being asked when he handed the treat over to the clearly delighted boy.

"Don't eat too many of those at once," Madara warned, unnecessarily in his opinion, as the boy had not even made a move towards consuming the treat held in his hand, choosing instead to look at it with eyes full of wonder. He would most likely eat the box full of pastries slowly; savoring a little each day to make it last as long as possible.

Once again, Madara felt a distinct pang of wrongness.

The two males held a companionable silence for a while longer as Madara stocked the cupboards and Naruto slowly ate his rare treat. When Madara had finished with his task, he took out the package of dango, sat across from Naruto on the rickety table, and offered the boy a piece of dango.

"I'll have to place warming seals on your pipe," Madara said, offhandedly, "I'll key them to the hot water handle so that you don't have to use frigid water all of the time."

Naruto nodded in understanding. "Thank you," he said, softly. He had been given many kindnesses over the year, but he still felt overwhelmed when someone showed him even the slightest bit of concern over his well-being.

"How are you related to me?" Naruto asked, tilting his head to the side. It was a reasonable question from the little boy since all of the other strangers had insisted on a familial title and the old man had taken care of him.

Madara bristled. "We're not related!" he snapped, feeling entirely indignant over the assumption. There nerve of that child! As if he would be in any way related to those insufferable Senju, and their insane Uzumaki cousins.

Naruto misinterpreted that. "Oh, it's okay if we don't share a blood relation," the five-year-old assured brightly, "I like you! You're really nice! But you seem lonely, so we should be each other's family, see? That way both of us won't be alone anymore."

Madara stared at him. The child- Naruto- was oblivious, presumptuous, and naive. He couldn't be more like Hashirama had he tried.

"You look really old to me," the blonde went on tactlessly, "Can I call you hii-ojiisan? I think you should be a hii-ojiisan. I'll call you hii-ojiisan!"

Madara was familiar enough with Hashirama's persistent delusions to simply sigh.

"Fine," he allowed, smiling a little reluctantly as the blonde promptly cheered and did a little victory dance, "For your safety though- and the continued secrecy of the Akatsuki- I think any late night family reunions should be locked away in your mind. I'm sorry, Naruto."

"Tsukuyomi."

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This chapter ended up a lot more depressing than I had originally planned for it to be, but I think that in the end, it all managed to work out.