Annie's POV:
Dear Diary,
What ever I say gets jumbled up and comes out totally wrong. No matter how hard I try to correct myself or even stop myself from saying anything at all, it just comes out in one big bundle, always wrong. Well now I find peace and serendipity when it's silent and black. That's why I cover my ears and close my eyes a lot of the time. Recently I've been having nightmares about Tarsi, and they're not even making sense. They don't even consist of cars or the pancake house or boxes. It's just Cleopatra and Tarsi. I can't understand why most of my thoughts have Cleopatra in but I suppose I'm kind of working on it. I've been trying to accept that I'm mad now, I can't help it and sometimes I just want to be away from Finnick and Mags and Johanna so I can't hurt them. Finnick is getting the worst of it because he cares so much. Not that Mags and Johanna doesn't, it's just that he cares so so much and I care about him too. I try to protect him from me but it doesn't work and I know I'm hurting him and I can see the pain in his eyes when I'm trying to tell him something. When he says to me 'I love you' I just can't say it back. I want to say it more than anything in this whole world. Its like if I say it I'm going to get better but to get better, I have to know why this is all happening. I'm trapped inside myself and I can't come out. I'm screaming to Finn to help me but he can't hear, I'm the only one that can hear me. I try to tell him that I'm okay and I'm going to get better but if I did, I'd be lying.
Annie.
Effie brought a big plate full of buttered waffles and bacon strips isn't the living room and placed them on the coffee table.
"Enjoy." She smiled and strutted back into the kitchen to clean up.
"This looks so good, doesn't it, Ann." Finn tried to encourage me to eat. I slowly picked a small piece of bacon up and my hand shook more and more as I brought it closer to my lips. I bit off a tiny bite and tried to swallow but it was stuck in my throat. I began to cough and splutter and the dryness attacked my mouth. "Annie?" Finnick panicked. He held me close to him as I threw up partly digested pancakes and apple juice. "It's okay. Don't worry." He whispered into my ear. I kept trying to tell him I loved him but the words were stuck. "It's okay." He repeated as I began to cry.
"Finnick?" I whispered when I'd calmed down.
"Yeah, Annie?" He grabbed hold of both my hands at the same time.
"I need help." I managed to finally admit.
"Don't worry, you'll get help and we're going to be happy. You'll get your jewelery shop and ill be a diver. It will all work out perfectly." I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. That's what I wanted to hear this whole time.