A/N: I'm changing more this time, I promise, though I'm not changing much on the cases. Enjoy!
Quick note: I thought that it would be pointless to write out the parts of the episode that don't change, so just because I haven't written it, doesn't mean it hasn't happened.Most of the bits that include cases won't be written because I'm keeping them the same.
Warning: Kate being an awful person.
Chapter 2: Pilot
The only explanation as to why no one at the prison knew she was a woman must have been Mozzie. He was an expert at hacking into things and keeping secrets and she knew without a doubt that he would be looking out for her even while she was trapped behind metal bars and they hadn't seen each other in a few years; he was still her older brother.
The first rule was to never trust anyone other than yourself, because if you relied on someone else then there was a chance that they could drop you in it and leave you behind. Much like she had done with Alex, but the one exception to that rule for her had always been Mozzie; she could trust him to have her back no matter what.
The prison doctor had tested her blood pressure and her pulse, but he hadn't done anything else, even though he should have done a full body exam. He hadn't said a word as he stamped the papers in front of him; declaring that he'd done a full search and found nothing. She changed into her orange jumpsuit in privacy and found a camera jammer in one of the pockets.
It was a completely new challenge for her to keep her disguise in prison; she didn't dare leave the jammer behind no matter where she went. She was lucky that she got to shower alone – no doubt Mozzie was behind that as well – and she jammed the cameras every time. The guards either never noticed or just never said anything about it.
She was counting down her days until she was released, it would have been easy enough to escape, but she didn't really see the point since four years was one of the shorter sentences she could have got. Three months after she'd been arrested, she got a visit from Kate that she'd been expecting.
"Finally decided to visit me then?" Lizzy asked with a sigh as Kate sat down on the other side of the glass. She hadn't had any visitors since the only other person who would visit her was Mozzie and he was paranoid about being caught on camera. It was best if they weren't seen together just in case they were ever forced to flee and she needed to ditch her Neal disguise. The last thing they wanted was for anyone to connect Lizzy to Neal and the crime world.
"I had to make sure that once you're out you won't come after me," Kate replied evenly, not showing any emotion. "I don't want anything to do with you. You disgust me and the only reason I haven't told anyone your secret is because I don't want people to know I was ever with you."
"I think you've made your point," Lizzy glared at the woman she'd once loved. "I won't come after you. I don't ever want to see you again."
Once she was taken back to her cell, she let the tears that she'd held back with anger come forth. She'd truly loved Kate and hoped that she'd react like Alex had with acceptance. It was a stupid hope; she'd seen the way Kate looked at same sex couples, it had been stupid to think she'd be the exception. Lizzy meant what she'd said, once she was out, she wouldn't look for Kate.
Five months before she would be released as a free woman, another prisoner found out her secret and began harassing her. He promised he wouldn't tell anyone providing she agreed to sleep with him. When she refused his offer, he began to find reasons to get close to her, threatening and intimidating her. It was clear that it wouldn't be long before he would force himself on her.
A month after he began harassing her, she was walking out of the prison in a guard uniform with the camera jammer switched on in her pocket. She didn't know where she was going to go, she just knew that Agent Burke would be after her and she couldn't go back to jail. The problem was that Lizzy didn't want to be a fugitive; she hated the thought of not being able to walk out her front door as a free woman.
She could just abandon her Neal mask and live and Lizzy, but Agent Burke would never stop looking for her. He was smart and she was sure that it would just be a matter of time before he connected her identities. Her true identity as Lizzy had never been a part of the crime world; when she was herself, it was the only time she could pretend she had nothing to do with crime and just be a normal woman. It would kill her to have to give that up and go back to jail.
Cursing herself and her inability to run like Mozzie would, she purposely booked herself into a hotel using one of the aliases that she knew the F.B.I. had in their database. Knowing she wouldn't have long, she sat down on the bed and began sketching on a piece a paper. If her plan didn't work, then she'd have to escape jail again and leave Neal Caffrey behind for good.
"It's been a while," Peter Burke announced cautiously as he walked through the unlocked hotel door. He was no doubt suspicious about how easy it had been to catch her.
"A few years," she shrugged, not getting up off the bed of even looking up from her drawing. "Give or take."
"They're going to give you another four years for this you know?" Peter told her; still clearly curious about why she broke out in the first place.
"Maybe," she agreed, ignoring his confusion and instead standing up and slowly plucking something off his suit while slipping her drawing into his pocket. "You know what this is?"
After a bit of quick thinking, Lizzy was ninety percent sure that she'd convinced Peter to visit her in jail. Her only chance of getting out of jail without being a fugitive would be to work for the F.B.I., the only problem with her plan meant that she had to survive a week in jail with the slime ball prisoner before Peter would meet her.
A week seemed to pass slowly as she defended herself against unwanted advances. The day before Peter visited things got physical and ended with the slime ball gripping his bruised family jewels and her with a bruised stomach. Eventually though, the day came that Peter visited her and it was time to put her plan into action.
"How do you know anything about him?" Burke asked, clearly at a loss to how she would have any inside information about the case he was working on.
"You know my life," she replied with a smile, leaving out the fact that he didn't know the main thing about her life and that Mozzie had sent her the necessary information she'd need to convince the Fed. "You don't think I know yours? Did you get the birthday cards?"
"They were a nice touch," he said, watching her. She smothered a grin, wondering what he'd say if he knew that she'd honestly considered signing them with kisses, just because she knew it would annoy him even more.
They spoke a little longer about the Dutchman and then she cut to the chase, attempting to convince him to let her out of prison and into his custody. He declined immediately and left the room, leaving her behind to start waiting another four years before she'd be released.
She thanked her lucky stars that he changed his mind. As much as she didn't want to become a fugitive, she would have escaped again rather than wait another four years. The guards explained to her what would happen, fastened the tracker around her left ankle and then grudgingly signed the release papers and let her walk out.
About an hour later, Peter is driving away and leaving her in what she's sure is the shabbiest motel he could find. It was the kind of place Mozzie and she would have thought twice about staying in when they first met and were broke. With a sigh, she left the motel and went to the thrift store that Peter had mentioned, dreading what she'd find.
Peter was very clearly shocked when he saw where she had managed to move to. His expression was tempered with disbelief when Cindy walked past, a girl that she was more than happy to help 'babysit'.
"You look like a cartoon," was the first comment she got when she walked downstairs in her suit and fedora. She'd been called a cartoon by a man before, only he'd been comparing her to Betty Boop; a comparison that didn't fit her since after hiding them for so long, her breasts were no way near as big as the cheeky cartoon girl. That's not to say that she didn't have a healthy rack, because she did and she didn't mind admitting her own beauty at all.
"This is a classic Rat Pack," she answered indignantly. "This is a Devore."
She purposely pretended to be ignorant of what he meant as he practically ranted about how it was unfair that she could get whatever she wanted without working. She hid a smile at the clear mix of jealousy and annoyance in his voice and followed him into the car instead.
"You are way out of your league," Peter told her as soon as Diana had left.
"Harmless flirting," she responded. "It's like a dance."
"No, there is no dance. You're not even on her dance card. No dancing for you," he added just in case she hadn't got the point. She amused herself counting how many times he said 'dance' before choosing her words. She had an idea about what he was alluding to be she wanted to be sure first.
"Um, she digs the hat," she announced, giving him a cocky smirk.
"Um, she'd rather be wearing the hat," he replied, leaving her to figure out what he meant.
She grinned at the fact that she was right and cursed the fact that she was forced to be Neal. Diana was incredibly attractive and it sounded like she'd have been perfect for a night of fun if they'd met when she was dressed up as Lizzy. Sighing away her second of regret, she moved to go find someone she knew.
When Peter came back, she was busy watching Diana flirt with a female customs agent. The other woman wasn't too bad looking either and it was nice to watch them, knowing that neither of them would be attracted to her as she looked at that moment. She was used to being able to attract anyone she wanted in either of her identities, but instead of being upset that she'd met a woman she couldn't charm as Neal, she was instead kind of relieved because it might mean she could be friends with Diana while still being Neal.
"No dance, huh?" She spoke up when it became clear Peter wasn't going to say anything.
"Not for you," he sounded a bit amused.
"I thought the FBI had a policy," she made it sound a bit like a question. It would be nice to know that if she flirted with a few guys when acting as Neal she wouldn't be sent back to jail for it.
"That's the military," he informed him, sounding distracted. "We don't ask. We don't care."
"That's good to know," she smiled at him, clearly startling him. He didn't get the chance to say anything though since Diana came over to join them and he was forced to ask her about a customs inspector instead.
They managed to get a break through, even though the guy was found dead. It was easy enough to discover that the bond was a forgery and from there they went back to the office to work out the details. She got the chance to amaze them with her math skills, a thing that Mozzie had been eager to help her improve when she was younger because of all the ways it could help her in a con.
"Big plans for the weekend?" She asked once they were back in the car. She'd thought about leaving it, but then decided that there was a chance he might have forgotten his anniversary that her sources told her he occasionally did. Maybe a hint or two wouldn't go amiss.
"Oh, you know, got to fix the sink, catch the game," he had clearly forgotten again. She resisted the temptation to sigh and instead decided to drop another hint.
"With Elizabeth?"
"Yeah, yeah, she's into it," he smiled. "How cool is that? She likes to watch the Giants."
Lizzy resisted the temptation to snort. It was highly doubtable that Elizabeth liked watching the Giants, it was more likely that she was too kind to tell him that she found it boring, something that she herself would have had no problems doing.
"Uh-huh," she said instead. Giving up on the subtle approach, she added. "Even on your anniversary?"
The car came to a halt in the middle of the street as he complained about always being surprised by it and how he had to make up for last year when he had forgotten again. She was sure that Elizabeth must have been a brilliant woman with the patience of a saint if she managed to put up with this every year.
"What makes her feel alive?" She questioned, wrinkling her nose at the thought of what Peter got up to in bed.
"I'm drawing a blank," he sighed.
She tried not to let her incredulous expression show on her face. "How could you not know? When you were chasing me you knew everything about me!" Except that I was a woman.
"That's the job," he protested. "It's very different."
"A relationship is meant to be work!" She exclaimed, honestly she could see why women had so many problems with men in relationships. She was beginning to think that she was lucky for never being in a relationship with a man before, if they were all like Peter.
"You don't get to lecture me on relationships!" He interrupted her thoughts. "My wife didn't get me arrested."
"I can't believe you just said that," she winced. "Way to be sensitive."
"That was harsh," he admitted, looking kind of guilty. "I didn't mean that. What am I going to do?"
"Try calling Dr Phil," she huffed, still a bit stung from his words. She paused briefly before shutting the car door, debating with herself whether to speak or not. "Try flowers," she finally suggested. "And chocolates."
Once inside the house, she stopped to grab a cane from the umbrella stand, hearing someone in the room ahead of her. She began to creep forwards and lifted the cane, only to lower it again when she heard the misquoted Ginsburg.
"Mozzie!" She grinned at him, walking forwards. He stood up as she approached and accepted the hug she gave him before she stepped back to look at him. "What are you doing sitting in the dark?"
"The light's how they find you," he told her breezily, causing her to smile. She was really glad to see him again and it was nice to know he hadn't changed.
"How did you get in?" She raised an eyebrow at him.
"I used this," he held up his fist. She knew immediately what he was going to say next; Mozzie was never one for violence and he would never have even thought of hurting June or Cindy. "I knocked, introduced myself to June, she's great. You get a load of the granddaughter?"
She couldn't have stopped the stupid grin if she wanted to. "Thanks for coming. I really missed you."
His face softened. "Of course I came, I missed you too. Can I see it?"
"I can't pick it," he sighed, giving the anklet a last glare before she covered it again. "You flew too close to the sun and they burnt your wings."
"I don't want you to pick it, Moz," she admitted. "I don't want to be a fugitive."
She then asked him for help with the case and they said their goodbyes. She as glad he wasn't angry at her for getting arrested. He was, however, annoyed that she didn't tell him about the slime ball in jail. She had a funny feeling that Mozzie was going to get revenge for her but she didn't concern herself with it; she knew he wouldn't get caught.
When she woke up she got the idea to go and see Peter at his house into her head and decided to go with it. It was mostly because she wanted to meet Elizabeth. It was safe to say that Peter was less than pleased to see her in his house. On the other hand, El – as she'd insisted Lizzy call her – was wonderful; she was definitely someone Lizzy could be friends with either as herself or as Neal.
Peter soon began to go back to discussing the case and Lizzy explained how he'd signed the forgeries, even admitting that she'd signed the ones she'd made. They visited the church to see the others and Lizzy made sure to keep a straight face while telling the vicar that Peter was being tempted by Diana.
"This is your wife's visa bill," she said when she was handed the papers.
"I got it all," he announced proudly. "EBay bids, video rentals, library books."
"So, you're stalking your own wife," she raised an eyebrow at him. When she'd advised him to find out what Elizabeth liked, she hadn't expected him to find her electronic history. "You figured out what she likes?"
"Yeah, it's all in the summary," Peter glanced down at the papers. "Pottery making, Nancy Drew mysteries, scented candles- Oleander. Old jazz. Anything Italian except anchovies…"
"You're not going to find the answer in her EBay bids," she sighed in exasperation. After all the years he'd been married to her, she would have thought that he'd know what his wife liked.
"Then help me out," he begged. "You're the romantic."
"Have you made Elizabeth any promises?" She questioned. "Or do you think all she wants is Oleander candles?"
She walked back into June's house at the end of the day and slid her hat over the top of the piano to where Mozzie was waiting. She gestured for him to follow her up to her flat and then walked into the bathroom while he was talking.
"You're late," he accused as he made himself comfortable on the couch.
"I'm a working woman now," she reminded him. "Give me a break."
"So?" He questioned when she came out of the bathroom in a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt. She'd unpinned her hair and gotten rid of the bandages around her chest. It was nice to know that she could be herself around Mozzie and know that he'd have her back if anyone tried to get into the room.
"We were right about Hagan," she admitted. "I have one week to link him to the bonds or I go back to jail."
"No," he denied immediately. "I had to pull too many strings last time. If you can't link Hagan to the bonds then we activate plan B: cut your tracker and run away using your real name." They both referred to her identity of Lizzy as her real name. Neal may be the one she used more often, but they were both aware that he was just a mask for her to use.
"Don't worry, Moz," she soothed, smiling at him. "I'm not going back to jail."
They found Hagan, with help from Mozzie, and the only thing they needed to do to catch him was open the warehouse door. Peter had probably been joking when he'd given her the book of Warrant Law, but she did read it and from it she began to get ideas on how to catch Hagan.
She couldn't introduce Peter to Mozzie like she'd said she would. She might trust Peter, but she still trusted Mozzie more and she wasn't willing to give up her family. Plus, Mozzie would never have forgiven her if she gave his name to the feds. In the end, she decided that the only way to avoid jail was to do one last reckless stunt.
"You know," Peter said as he sat on the desk next to her and watched as the agents arrested Hagan and his men. "You're really bad at this escape thing."
"What can I say?" She shrugged; it was gratifying to know that if she was really trying then they'd never find her.
"You know this makes me 3 and 0?" He tried to rub it in but the smile on his face gave away the fact that he was joking and knew she'd let him catch her this time…and the time before.
"Maybe I'm not trying hard enough," she admitted, being completely truthful.
Later, she got another piece of identification that proved she was Neal Caffrey, only this time it wasn't a forged one. It was probably the only identification she had that was official. Typical that it would be one that claimed her to be both Neal and a C.I. for the FBI.
A/N: Quite similar to Chapter 2 of The Biggest Con, but I will be changing more things, especially now I've cut Kate out of the picture.