Chapter 18—
A/N: Thank you to all for your kind comments and generous compliments. Please keep them coming.
Jeremy had been back at the hospital for hours. He had an MRI on his knee and the doctors told him that the results would be back sometime in the afternoon. Jeremy and Steve were in the physical therapy room stretching and exercising the injured knee and talking.
"So how did last night go at home?" Steve asked, as he noticed that Jeremy was being more quiet than usual.
"It was ok… I was glad to be home." Jeremy replied, not willing to give up other information unless asked because he was thinking about the conversation that Colonel Holden wanted to have at 1300 hours.
"I am sure it was good to be home… so what did you do last night?" Steve was trying to drag something anything out of him.
"Well, Mom took Amanda and me out for dinner." Jeremy again was only give the minimum information needed to answer the question. Steve sensed that there was something more that Jeremy was not telling him, so finally he asked a more pointed question,
"Jeremy you seem a little more distracted than usual did something happens last night?" Steve was hoping that this would open up the conversation just a bit.
"The night was going good. We went out for dinner and then we came home and Colonel Holden, Mrs. Holden, and Amanda came over for desert." Jeremy stopped
"Amanda is your girlfriend right?" Steve said thinking that this had something to do with her.
"Well, I think she was my girlfriend, but after last night… I do not know." Jeremy said knowing that he could not get out of telling Steve the rest of the story. Steve also knew that he had touched a very sensitive nerve with Jeremy.
"What do you mean that you do not know if she is your girlfriend?" Steve asked.
"Amanda and I went for a walk. I think we walked to a park. She wanted to talk about our future. She talked about getting married and having a family. Also, she wanted to put off going to college indefinitely because she says that she did not know what her major would be. I knew that was a bunch of crap. I have known Amanda since we were five, we grew up together. I finally got her admit that she did not want to go off to college because she wanted to be with me." Jeremy unloaded.
"Oh, and what did you tell her?" Steve asked realizing that Jeremy had made a pretty difficult decision.
"I explained to her that I did not think that it was fair for her to have struggle along with me, while I learned to deal with my limitations. And she needed to go off to college to experience life, and she did not need to be around to take care of me, in fact I think it is completely unfair for me to ask her for that. I am trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life." Jeremy said.
"Oh." Steve was a little surprised at Jeremy's response. Jeremy was not the first patient that Steve has ever had that a significant other that wanted more, than the patient was willing to give. However, Jeremy was one of the few patients that was not ultimately looking out for their best interests; he was looking out for Amanda's best interest. There was nothing selfish about what Jeremy wanted; he wanted Amanda to have her own life. Steve was sure that Jeremy was being honest.
"Is that all you can say?" Jeremy said; being annoyed with the sudden silence.
"I am not sure what to say. Because it sounds like that you are trying to protect Amanda, and that is admirable." Steve was trying to make Jeremy feel a little more at ease with his decision.
"I sense there is a but in there somewhere." Jeremy replied.
"No there is no 'buts' in there. I can only assume that Amanda did not take the news well."
"Yeah, she was in tears. And now I am having coffee with Colonel Holden to discuss this with him at 1300 hours in the cafeteria." Jeremy said wondering again what time it was/
"Umm… then we better get going… as it is 12:40 now." Jeremy really hated not knowing what time it was. The two men walked to the cafeteria. Steve had asked Jeremy if he would like him to say. Jeremy said no, so Steve left him at a booth in the corner by the windows overlooking the garden. Jeremy sat in the booth thinking what he was going to say to Colonel Holden.
Colonel Holden walked into the cafeteria wearing his fatigues and combat boots. He was used to wearing the uniform; he especially liked wearing it around his daughters' boyfriends, as the uniform usually intimidated the young men. But today, he knew that his would not intimate Jeremy for two reasons: the most obvious was that Jeremy could not see him, and the second was that Jeremy had spent is life in the military in way or the other. The Colonel saw immediately upon entering the cafeteria. He walked up to Jeremy. He cleared his throat, and that got Jeremy's attention. Jeremy immediately stood up, feeling a pain in his knee and saluted the senior officer.
"At ease, soldier." Colonel Holden wanted to be authoritative.
"Thank you, sir" Jeremy said tentatively.
"Lets have a seat." Colonel Holden said with same tone of voice.
Both men sat down. Jeremy would have given almost anything to see the look on the Colonel's face at that point in time.
"Jeremy…" The Colonel started.
"Sir, I just want to say…" Jeremy was ready and willing to tell his side of the story.
"Please… I just have one question… would you care to explain to me why that my daughter Amanda was crying when I got home last night?" The Colonel's voice had softened a bit.
"Sir, Amanda and I had a talk." Jeremy said tentatively.
"And?" The Colonel knew how nervous that he was making Jeremy. But he just wanted to know as to why that she was so upset, because she would not talk to him about it.
"Umm… Amanda and I talked about the future… mainly hers. I had asked her why that she did not want to go away to college. I did not accept her answer and I probed deeper. Come to find out she wanted to stay home because of me. She had the vision of us getting married. I have unfortunately do not have the vision. In fact I explained to her that it would be unfair to her. I have yet to fully come to terms with the challenges of not being able to see, and yet she was talking about us being married and having a family. I am sorry I am not ready for that, and frankly I love her enough to say that she needs to go off to college, and not be burdened by me. I would not let her put her life on hold, while I got mine together. Sir, I did not mean to hurt her." Colonel Holden had absolutely no idea that all of this had transpired. He had thought that, actually he did not know what to think.
"Jeremy, I do not know what to say. I have to say that I appreciate your honesty. I think I understand."
"Colonel, Sir, I did not want to hurt her. I am still trying to figure out what my life is supposed to be… and I cannot allow her to give up her life to take care of me. I think the world of your daughter. I got the chance to do see things in the Army, which I am partly glad that I will not see them again, but it forced me to grow up. And I believe that Amanda needs those opportunities as well… perhaps not the Army." Jeremy took a second to imagine Amanda in the Army, and it would be an interesting and funny sight.
"Jeremy, your honesty is appreciated, son. I am glad that you had the conversation with her, because that was my fear of why she did not want to go off to college. Please do not misunderstand me, I believe you two could have a life together, but you are both 19 years old, and you both are too young to make the decision to get married." The Colonel reiterated Jeremy's sentiment.
"Thank you, sir. I appreciate the fact that we could have a life together, but I see it as a life of being friends, and nothing more. I literally do not see Amanda and I getting married… especially right now. I have a lot more to learn about myself and my challenges." Jeremy admitted sadly.
"Jeremy, I can only imagine what you are going through at the moment. On a personal note, is there anything I can do?" The Colonel was moving back into the family friend role rather than a senior officer.
"Actually, sirs there are two things." Jeremy said.
"Ok, name it?!" The Colonel replied.
"One what time is it? And two would you be willing to walk with me back to my room?" Jeremy asked because he was supposed to meet his mother at 3:00 so that they could get the results of the latest MRI.
"The time is 1430. And I will walk with you back to your room." The Colonel thought that these were two simple requests that he could do. The two men walked back to the hospital room, when they got there Denise was waiting patiently. Before the Colonel or Denise could speak, Jeremy said,
"Hi, Mom."
The Colonel looked at Denise and waved his hand in front of Jeremy's eyes, and said,
"How did you know that Denise was here?" The Colonel asked in amazement.
"Mom, has been wearing Cool Water for as long as I can remember, and every time she is around I smell her perfume. Really, sir I cannot see a thing, no lights, no shadows, nothing, but I do know that you waved your hand in front my face." Jeremy just smiled.
"How did you know that I waved my hand?" The Colonel was intrigued.
"Because you were standing right next to me and I felt the movement near my face." Jeremy smiled again.
"That is interesting. I had heard that once you lose one sense the others pick up the slack." The Colonel continued.
"Sir, I do not know about that. I think it is more that I have to be somewhat more observant of my surrounding, whether it is through sound or motion." Jeremy spoke in an informative tone.
"Interesting, Jeremy, thank you for telling me what happened with Amanda last night. And I do agree with your assessment. Denise, thank you again for the desert last night… is was very good." The Colonel said.
"Oh, you are more than welcome. Please tell Claudia Joy I will give her a call later." Denise replied.
"I will, and Jeremy…" The Colonel saluted, and Jeremy figured as much so he saluted as well.
"Good Bye, Sir." With that the Colonel left the room.
"So Jeremy, how did the conversation go?" Denise asked as a concerned mother would.
"It was fine. Colonel Holden just wanted to know what happened last night with Amanda." Jeremy was getting very tired of talking about this subject.
"Ok, how is your knee doing?" Denise asked because she sensed that it hurt a lot more than Jeremy was letting on.
"Mom, it hurts. I am not sure why." Jeremy responded. His knee hurt more than it had in several weeks. Steve did not say anything about any swelling or lack of mobility during physical therapy, but they were heading to Dr. Bartley's office for the results of the MRI.