Chapter 4 (Morgan)
I have been here in this godforsaken forest in this godforsaken Middle Earth place for not even 3 hours, and as if arriving here was not enough, I have now faced Hobbits, Dwarves (including a particularly good looking one named Kili), an enchanted forest, giant man-eating spiders, and now elves.
What kind of fucked up fairy-tale am I in?
Elves on Middle Earth, I have discovered, are nothing like our interpretation of them. Well, the spiders here aren't anything like they are back there either, or anything really, but for some reason it is these elves that really take me by surprise. I don't know whether to be infuriated or thrilled.
To put it simply, they are hot. Holy hell, they are hot. Especially the blondie. His name is Legolas and he has very blue eyes, too blue to be real, but I can't very well accuse him of wearing coloured contacts as I usually would since I doubt such a thing exists in this world. He also has very blonde hair, a shade lighter than mine and nearly as long. Jesus, he's a male elf and he's better looking than I am. However, he also has a distinct air of snobbery about him, aloofness too, which normally I might find endearing but on him it seems too proud, and maddeningly sophisticated. He also seems to be some kind of royalty. And he also seems to have a similar problem to Kili with regard to obnoxious staring. At me. Yet whilst Kili does this in a way that makes him seem so bewildered, as if he has no idea what I am or where I came from but he is acutely aware that he likes the sight of me, on Legolas it is much more pronounced. It is hard to describe, really, but Legolas is as bold as Kili is, and half as cute and reckless. I know spoilt asshole brat when I see one, and Legolas is ticking an awful lot of those boxes.
These thoughts somewhat lessen my initial attraction to him, which I find a relief, and I go back to wondering whether he would appeal to me more with tattoos. I decide not. I think I'll stick to Oli Sykes when I'm in the mood for conjuring some pretty tattooed band member hotness in my head.
Kili, on the other hand…
When did I start thinking about him again? I'd almost forgotten his name in all the chaos of the Mirkwood spiders and then these pretentious (although still annoyingly attractive) elves. But here I am again. He's walking beside a darker haired elf only a few feet away from me, who grips his shoulders tight and scowls in disdain. I don't know why he bothers. Kili looks so bored right now, almost amused. The initial display of bravado is gone, and in fact, none of the Dwarves struggle with the elves who warily walk around us, guiding us with a hand on each of our shoulders or back. He is looking at the young light haired dwarf at first, who now I am fairly certain is his brother. And then he looks back at me.
Beyond the point of caring what he thinks of me staring, I cock an eyebrow. He doesn't say anything, but his eyes are laughing louder than any voice. He glances down at the elf's stiff hand at his shoulder, then to his permanent and superior scowl, and then back at me with a smirk of his own. I feel my own eyes crinkle with an understanding curl of my lips, and I dare an eye-roll. Our unspoken communication is clear: these elves are condescending bastards. A real smile tugs at his lips now, which are full and perfect, revealing the briefest flash of white teeth.
A look from Legolas stops both of us. God, the pure cold disregard in his gaze could cut if I actually gave a shit about him.
He is extraordinarily beautiful though.
But it's okay. I've always had a thing for dark haired boys anyway.
It kind of goes without me saying that Kili has dark hair.