A/N: This is the only chapter that was not written in the first draft of this story, and the only reason that it's being done now is because I think it'll add a little bit of angst emotion to it. I haven't decided if I want to make another flashback chapter of when Kurama actually died or not. Please let me know if you want one or not.

Disclaimer: I do now own YYH, plain and simple. Please don't sue me for anything!

Chapter 2: The Only Thing That Separates Us, Is Your Empty Body

Flashback, Hiei's P.O.V

It hasn't been that long since you died Kurama, maybe about a week or so, I stopped counting nearly exactly after I started trying to.

But today's your funeral at last, it's the day they put you in the ground and bury you with all of our memories and our thoughts and everything else. I heard this is a formal occasion and for once they actually tell me to wear black.

Ningens can be so bipolar.

I don't have anything that nice, like you had, but I did have one slightly dressier outfit that I suppose would have to work, you bought it for me one day and told me that someday I would have to wear it.

I think when you told me that, you were talking about the day Yukina marries that baka, not when I attend your funeral.

Shiori already left the apartment so that she could be the first one there to greet everyone, so I was left with your empty home that holds so many memories within its walls.

As I look at myself in the mirror, into my hollowing crimson eyes I have to wonder exactly what you would tell me right now if you were here and we were attending someone else's funeral and not yours.

Let's say Yusuke, not because I hate him… just a random person

"Hiei you can't bring your katana to the funeral!" You would tell me, that's when I would glare at you from where I still stand at the mirror.

"Hn, I'm not going unprotected to a place where Kuwabara is, you know his hatred for me."

That's when you would shake your head and stand up from where you had been sitting at your desk and then walk over to me and begin trying to fix my tie. "What's this, are you saying you couldn't beat Kuwabara without your sword?"

Once again I would glare at you and swipe your hands away, "of course not baka!" You would just smile that bright smile that I miss so much.

But this is reality! If I'm going to keep myself from following you into death too soon then I need to cease these thoughts.

But what more can I do, I can't get your out of my mind.

I sigh heavily, looking once more at myself and deciding that my black attire would be fine, I know you wouldn't mind it, you're the one who bought it, so what do I care what anyone else says or thinks?

- [1

The beginning part of this funeral was to be held in a quiet church; at least they got this part right, this is what you would have wanted.

Upon entering, the feeling within the room did not match the look of it at all.

The room was nearly a perfect square with the whole building being made of stone, on the parallel walls that were perpendicular to the entrance wall were large windows that allowed the sunlight from outside to filter inside.

But the people were all dressed in black and many of them with their handkerchiefs doting their eyes lightly.

If this had been Yusuke's funeral and you were here beside me, Kurama, would you have cried? Would you have cried if it was I in that casket nearly straight across from me and not you?

Please tell me so I can get any idea of what you want and I can make it a reality.

When I entered I was nearly instantly greeted by Shiori, I could see the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes once again, I don't know why she fights them, she has so much reason to cry.

She will never know the real reason why her oldest son died and she will always be filled with this lie you so delicately constructed for her.

"And you are?" She asked me so kindly, I really don't deserve it fox.

"Hiei." I answered, looking at her out of the corner of my eye.

She smiled lightly and I was glad, I felt, if anything, than maybe I had done something right today. "It's so good to finally meet you Hiei, Suichi used to talk about you frequently."

I glared ahead of me towards where you lie, how dare you, traitor! Why wouldn't you tell me that you had been telling your ningen mother about me? I need to know what story you made baka kitsune!

I only nodded towards her, "I'm sorry for your loss." And I'm sorry that everyone who really knew Kurama has to lie to you, and I'm sorry that you never got to meet the real Kurama, and mostly, I'm sorry I'm the reason he's gone.

We watched each other for only a moment more before her attention was turned to more people who had come.

I walked away and quickly looked over the room to see who was here. I instantly found Yusuke, and Kuwabara who quickly met my eyes. So at least he knew I was here, so why are they letting me in here so easily?

I was sure after the fight that Yusuke and I had had in the Rekai not long ago they'd never want to be in the same room with me again.

Then I found Koenma and Botan, Koenma of course in his human form and Botan by his side.

Then Genkai and Yukina on the other side of the room, Kurama I hope I never have to see this again, black on my sister and sorrow in the eyes we share really does not suit her.

I then made my way to the open coffin since no one else seemed to be around and I knew that soon they would have the head of the church begin to speak, and then I would never get my chance.

Upon reaching you, the sight clenched my heart till the blood within it seeped through, and yet part of me was disappointed at the same time.

I had always imagined that you would be buried with flowers everywhere and yet there was none, and where was your rose? They hadn't even had the courtesy and respect to place it in your hand, or even in your hair where it could be visible.

They have everything so wrong Kurama, and I can say nothing against it because it's really not my place, I was surprised that they even let me decide what saying should go on your stone.

I exhale my breath and take the precious tear gem I cried for you from my pocket then move my eyes back to your still form.

There've been so many nights where I stayed in your room and watched you calmly sleep, I really wanted to wake you because I needed to talk, but I didn't because you looked so unnaturally serene.

You looked nearly the same now except your skin doesn't hold the color that it used to, and when I moved you hand so I could slip the tear gem inside of it, the ice cold of your skin was enough to shoot me back into the reality of the situation.

The situation being that the only thing really separating us; was your empty body.

"I want you to tell me this isn't happening Kurama." I told you barely able to face you now. "If you want to live so much," (I knew you would always favor life over death) "then come back and tell me this isn't happening!"

I didn't get any response, so maybe I was wrong, maybe he did favor death.

I closed my eyes, "hn, I really am a fool you know." I waited just long enough for you to answer, 'why do you say that?' Like I know you would have.

"I'm talking to you and yet I know I'm not going to get a response."

And then you would have told me, 'that doesn't make you a fool Hiei.'

"Ne, but the fact that I'm starting to think this is all a sick joke or some kind of stupid test that I'm inevitably going to fail, does."

Then you would sigh, 'even that does not make you a fool.'

And I would shrug, because I don't have a comment to come back with. I have to force myself to turn away from you or else I'll start tearing up like every other person in this room.

Overall I think I was the one who knew you the best out of everyone here, and I can only hope I did because you knew me best. And yet while everyone else is being emotional I can't even let myself shed one.

I walk over to one of the long benches and sit down, maybe it is that I just can't let myself become emotional.

"Why are you here?" Yusuke's voice knocks me from my thought, I turn and look back, he's sitting in the bench row right behind mine.

"Kurama was my friend baka." I told him with blank eyes, the last thing I need is for him to see my weaknesses in the same way you did.

"Must not have been that much of one."

I glared at him, "go away detective."

"Why." He asked simply, I glared harder at him and my hand began inching towards my katana. See Kurama, this is why I bring it with me.

"Because I don't want to deal with you today!" I tried to keep myself from shouting, being able to feel his ki was more of the detective than I wanted to be around, having to smell him and the radiating hate was a thousand times worse.

"Someone's a little temperamental."

I turned away from him, "hn, I wonder why."

He leaned forward till he was resting against the back of my wooden bench, "look just because your killed your best friend doesn't mean you have the right to take it out on everyone else."

I swear to the gods Kurama, if this had been anyone else's funeral I would have killed Yusuke right here and not have thought twice about it! But I held myself back today, once I left, if he messed with me, then I would kill him.

"If you know what's good for you detective you'll leave." I saw him smirk and lean back as everyone began to take their seat for the man to speak.

-

When the man was done and everyone had had their chance to speak they carried you out of the church to the hearse that would take you to the cemetery.

I had to look away when they did that part, it made you seem more like an object, but maybe that's just me.

As we walked out of the church I reminisced about what we were coming out of, the man didn't talk about you much, maybe five minutes of the twenty, the rest was just about how everyone finds their way to the afterlife and to the right place.

I swear I saw Koenma smile when he talked about how the gods judged each soul individually and correctly.

Then people were allowed to speak, your mother spoke first of course, then Yusuke, which I tried to tune out and then Kuwabara, Shiori said they were the people who were closest to Kurama (without using your real name of course.)

And when did I get to speak and tell everyone what I thought about you? I didn't, they didn't even call me.

I don't know if I mind, there are so many things I wish I could have told you and right then could have been my last chance, but in all honesty we both know I'm not a talker like everyone else, I don't even know what I would have said.

We then went to where your grave would be and it was much of the same thing, only the old man was the only person who was able to speak. I looked on with emotionless, unfocused eyes.

I wasn't listening; his words were a simple hum in my ears, I watched as they lowered the casket inside.

And then the man told us to come forward and this time I forced myself to go, the other three people called were your friends and Shiori.

"You will take a hand full of dirt and be the first to throw it in, with it you will send your sadness and all of your regrets that involved Suichi. This will allow you to have a clean start just like he would have wanted."

Another part they got right, you would never want us to carry these sorrows with us.

One by one each person took their handful and looked down into the dark hole then threw their dirt. It was Shiori who I knew would suffer with this despite having done the act.

Finally it was my turn, I was the last person, I took my hand full and stood over the dark hole, staring down at your closed casket.

I began to think about everything we've been through, you were the first person I put my whole trust into, and the first person I told every secret I had, to.

I thought about how much you've helped me over these years, if it weren't for you, you would be the one following me into death, not the other way around. You were the one who set me straight up until now; and then I did this to you.

And then I thought about all of the words that will go unsaid between us, all the nights that we will no longer share, telling stories, and sharing secrets from our pasts.

And all the thoughts I had second-guessed and never told you, the ones I desperately wish you would have heard.

I walked away from the hole, the dirt still firmly in my hand.

End Flashback

A/N: Aw how sad, poor Hiei I feel so bad for him. I'm the author so I don't think I'm allowed to feel bad for him, since I'm the one forcing him into this. Whatever there's more of that to come. And I would like to add a flashback chapter to when Kurama actually died, but that's only if I get enough reviews saying they want one.

[1: I've never actually attended a funeral so I have no idea what really happens, this is just the summary that I had to go by from what I've seen on TV over the years, so if it's not right please understand!

PREVIEW: The flashback has ended and we're back with Hiei in the present day afternoon, and then suddenly a meeting with Yusuke ensures a path that Hiei can't turn away from.

Please Review your thoughts!

-Forbiddensoul562