A/N: You know what I think? I think Fanfiction should have a convention somewhere for each individual category, like one for YYH itself. And all the writers would come and wear those stickers that says, 'hi my name is:' And we'd write our screen name! I think that'd be awesome! I'd be the first to sign up to go!

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH, but I do own this story idea, at least I hope I do.

Chapter 5: First Visit Expressions

Hiei's P.O.V

My eyes snapped open, it was mid-afternoon, just like you had said.

I looked over my shoulder at your tombstone, "well?" I asked. "You've been watching me fox, are you right now?" I wonder if you can hear my thoughts as well, if so then no where is safe to speak my doubts, or even think anything really.

I sigh, beginning to wonder about what you told me last night. Should I really trust my sister with the thoughts about you that are killing me?

'I'd never forgive myself if I let you!' Had been what you'd said about just letting me die. But why? If it's my fault that you're dead shouldn't I deserve everything that I'm getting?

Maybe I'll just see her once… just to see what she has to say, if she gets angry then it'll be no less then what I deserve. I stood up, taking your rose with me, the thing I'd meant to give you last night.

I sighed to myself and began making my way to the temple.

-

I stood at the front of the temple, Yukina's the only one there from what I can feel.. I gave a heavy sigh, there could be so many outcomes from these actions, Kurama, how am I supposed to go in not knowing which one it will be?

Knowing you fox, I'm sure you already knew I'd be thinking these thoughts and I bet you already knew my curiosity would get the best of me.

I turn back and head to the closed entrance door.

After knocking lightly I stood back and feel myself growing nervous, why… I'm not sure, Yukina is my sister, I should be able to talk to her I guess.

The door slid open and said Koorime appeared; I suddenly became overjoyed. "Hiei!" She said happily. "It's been so long, I though you'd never come back to visit."

Maybe she saw something in my eyes (the ones we shared), because her smile fall and she suddenly looked worried. "Are you okay?"

No, no I'm not okay. That's what I wanted to tell her Kurama, and as I looked into her eyes I knew that there would be no talking my way out of this.

I'm sure you knew this to.

"I just wanted to talk to you."

She nodded, "do you want to come inside?" She moved out of the way to let me enter, but I stayed in place.

"No, out here will be fine, if you don't mind." I seemed to always crack when I'm around her, why is that kitsune?

She nodded and stepped out, closing the door behind her. We went over to a shaded area under a tree near the main house and sat down, a gentle breeze blew by, shaking the leaves of the trees.

This is another type of day that you would have liked Kurama, one with no sounds from the city to annoy one's ears and the lush green all around which made you feel so alive.

I remember spending these kinds of days with you. When you originally explained why you liked them I figured it was a time that you would have wanted to spend alone, but every time a day like this came up you always invited me to spend it with you.

I never understood why, but I always went with you, because we never did much of anything and the silence was broken by words that only you and I understood.

You know Kurama, the more I think about it, you usually did keep someone around you at all times when you could… why is that kitsune?

"Hiei?" Yukina's words cut through my thought, "nani?" I hadn't heard the original question.

"I wanted to know what you wanted to talk about." I looked away, first thing's first, "when's the last time the team's been here?"

"Yusuke came a couple of days ago, Kazuma came last week."

I sighed, "neither of them can know of what we speak."

She nodded, "of course." I exhaled a breath, "is this about Kurama?" She asked before I could even speak, I nodded.

"I thought so. Yusuke and Kazuma have spoken about it since it happened, but I knew that you'd be the one affected the most." I gave her a wondering look.

"You've always known Kurama better than anyone here did, of course you were affected most." She looked down, "I wanted to know how you were doing Hiei, but you never came here."

She turned and smiled, "I thought you might be at Kurama's grave, I went there yesterday to see you but you weren't there, but I put some roses in his flower holder though."

So she's the one who came.

"I couldn't come here." I finally told her.

"Why?"

"If the team's here, I can't be here."

Her confused look only deepened, "why?" I wondered if they had told Yukina what had really happened… I wonder how she took it. I doubt it would have brought her to tears, but then again this is my sister.

"Did they tell you what happened?" She looked away but nodded slowly, I could see the pain in her crimson eyes.

I hate you for making me do this.

"Then I'm sure you know it's my fault the fox left." Once again that word 'left' that makes it so much easier to deal with.

She looked at me confused for a moment, "I don't think that's the case. I don't think it was your fault." My eyes narrowed on her, how did she not see that it was all because of me?

She continued before I could speak, "I think they just needed something to blame for it."

"So then me blaming myself would make it right." Because I need that thing to blame and I was the cause… how am I not at fault fox?

"No, because all of you see it a certain way doesn't mean that's why you should get the blame." I can see that she's stuck on the fact that I'm not at fault but she was running thin on things to back it up.

I sighed and tried to let that drop. "What else would it be?" I asked failing in my attempts.

I saw her trying desperately to comfort me with her eyes. "Because you were frozen in place, that doesn't mean anything. They would have done the same thing had they been in your place."

I nodded and sat back against the tree we were under.

"You think about him a lot, don't you Hiei?" My eyes remained closed and I nodded, if a day went by where I didn't think about you, kitsune, I'd feel so much worse, "all the time."

She was quiet for another moment, I opened my eyes to watch her, she looked down at the grass with her calm crimson eyes. "What are you thinking Hiei?" She asked, her voice said that she was hesitant about even asking.

"About Kurama." She looked at me now, I met her eyes for a brief moment then looked away, fearing that I may get trapped in her gaze as I used to do with your emerald green eyes.

You never noticed how I normally escaped your glance whenever possible, if you did you never said anything about it.

I always felt that if I let my guard down and let myself be entranced by you that I could finally break and spill everything and anything I could; and I felt like that with Yukina as well.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She said, and I said nothing, much like you there was little that I wouldn't tell her; all she had to do was ask.

"I'm remembering back when him and I used to sit out on days like this in silence." There was no emotion in my eyes as she watched me, but underneath it there was sadness and it pulled at my being.

Kurama you'd always be the only one able to see past my emotionless gaze, and I've never figured out how you did it but you were the only one who committed enough time and patience to learning your… why don't we call it a skill.

"And wondering what he would tell me if he saw me like I am today."

"I suppose you wouldn't tell me how you're seeing yourself now?"

I shook my head, "never." I would never let her feel bad about my own failure.

-

Later that night I returned to your grave just as it got dark and the world was beginning to get colder.

Kurama… today wasn't so bad, though I won't go as far as to say that it didn't feel bad seeing the varied looks on her face. The smile at the end, when I left and she thanked me for coming and talking with her made it all nearly worth it.

She asked me to come back tomorrow but I haven't decided if I'm going to go or not. I know you want me to so I'll keep that in mind when I think about it.

But for right now the sleep is pulling at my eyes and I've never won the battle with them.

A/N: So that was the first visit and I think it turned out pretty well, and hey we finally found out who cared enough to place roses at Kurama's grave! Yeah I don't have much to say, can you tell?

PREVIEW: Hiei finally decides to go back to see Yukina, but is suddenly forced to deal with the changes he's being left out of.

Please review!

-Forbiddensoul562