Chapter 4 – What expect when you're not expecting him...

"My dearest Candy,

As I write this letter I feel that my whole being is literally trembling with joy. The time has come for us to make a definite stand. Our situation has reached a point where I don't want a future without you regardless of the consequences. It may seem crazy and even impetuous but I cannot deny this any longer: I want you by my side as soon as possible. I long to be able to kiss your lips every morning; I dream about your smile every night, of loving you and making love to you every day of my life. I only live and breathe for you... My heart sings a mantra of my love for you and you alone. I've yearned to have you standing beside me for so long that in the past six months I have been carefully planning the path that will hopefully take us to a new life together. I believe the timing is right for me to finally disclose a portion of my secret plan to you.

I have included a first class one way train ticket to New York and I know this time there is a way in which we can have the life we both dream of. Our life will not be easy and we may be ostracised from society but if you feel our love is strong enough to withstand the consequences that our actions will surely carry, please I beg you to be on that train. I know you have a wedding to attend in two weeks time so I have taken the liberty of booking the trip for the last evening train leaving Chicago shortly after the wedding reception takes place. It means you will miss out on most of the evening's festivities but I did this on purpose as I expect your absence should not raise any suspicions under the circumstances: everyone will be too busy with the party and the cleanup afterwards or too drunk and nursing a hangover to notice if you leave town for a few days.

Candy, when I bought the ticket and placed it inside this envelope I felt lighter and more relaxed that I have been in a very long time. You give me the freedom to be me when all this time I've been a prisoner of the duty and expectation of a life I never asked for. That's the magic that you and only you bring into my life and I can promise you that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you've made me. Your heart and generosity captivated me from the first moment I met you and my life has never been the same: complicated but enriched and certainly very entertaining!

I feel so deliriously happy right now! I DO have to stop grinning like an idiot, otherwise she may become suspicious and discover what I am about to do.

When I see you and hold you in my arms at the train station, I will whisper a question in your ear so please listen carefully and be ready...

Yours in heart and body,

Me..."

"Blessed angels and all the saints!" she whispered "this is it! I am going to be with him. He's asking me to be with him for good". Candy sat on her couch, her green eyes shining with tears of happiness. What was she going to do? WHERE would she start? Will she tell her 'tutor'?

She just finished another long shift and the hospital and was looking forwards to tomorrow's 'lesson' with her friend. However, the unexpected letter from her beloved had thrown all her plans into disarray. She read the letter again just to make sure she understood his message correctly.

"One way ticket" she mused, "another one way ticket to an unknown future". She remembered ruefully how the last one way ticket to New York she received all those years ago set off that painful chain of events that defined both of their lives. Would history repeat itself once more or had she finally released the ghost from the past? She also remembered that at the time the old train ticket had been nothing more than the possibility for a future, never a certainty: marriage had surely not been discussed back on that occasion.

"This is different!" she said with conviction, "he knows the consequences and still wants me there". But one question remained unanswered: she was aware of the consequences as well. Did she feel as daring as he did? Did she truly believe in the strength of their love to overcome what lay ahead for them both?

"Oh my goodness" she whispered softly, "I AM ready, I want to go..." and with that began to make a mental note of the preparations she had to make before her imminent departure.

"My dearest friend" she thought as she sat down to a cup of tea to calm her fraying nerves, "tomorrow shall be our final goodbye after all". She placed the cup gently on the table, a shy smile curving her lips. He had certainly taught her so much, how could she possibly excise him from her life completely? She closed her eyes as she remembered each and every 'lesson' they'd had and how intimately they had grown to know each other. Her heart felt heavy for a moment as she struggled to envision the best way to let him go. They both knew their time together was coming to an end; it was going to be inevitable as his wedding was taking place in less than a fortnight! Still, she knew they would see each other at gatherings and events but never again in the intimacy of her own apartment.

Candy took her empty cup to the kitchen. She suddenly came to the realisation that in less than a fortnight she may never be coming back from New York to this place again. She slowly scanned the tiny apartment with her vision; it had always been her very own bit of heaven on earth and her beautiful green eyes glazed with unshed tears of joy and apprehension. Yes, she could live with the thought of not returning to the place that had been her home and refuge for such a long time. She just didn't know how she'd cope with never seeing the people who had a special place in her heart again. Candy tried not to feel sad at a time when she should be leaping about the house with joy but in her heart of hearts she knew that the decision she was about to make would mean saying goodbye to her loved ones indefinitely, including her 'tutor'...

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To be continued...

I know this chapter is smaller than the others, but it's a bridge-in chapter for what's coming up next.

Thank you all for your lovely reviews, it means a lot to me that you take time from your busy lives to read my unhinged imaginings... very humbled indeed.