A/N: Okay this is the next chapter and I'm not to thrilled to be doing it because I really wanted to put the beginning part of this on he end part of the last chapter, but oh well it'll still turn out good!

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH, for once I think that's all I need to say.

Chapter 6: Could you survive the night alone?

Hiei's P.O.V

After school I waited for Kurama to come out, I'd left class before the last bell so he couldn't leave before me since the infirmary was on the first floor and we were on the second.

I finally saw him, his eyes were cast down in thought and I dared not even think of what was going through his mind. I thought for a moment whether I should even be speaking to him.

I walked slowly up to him and he stopped, his eyes moved up to mine, I couldn't see any emotion in them, just that he was in thought.

"Kurama?" I tried, my voice came out surprisingly quiet.

He gave me a fake smile, I wondered if he knew that I saw right past it. "Talk to me!" I said firmly, I needed to hear his tone if I was to depict if he was mad at me or not.

He sighed and began walking out of the school campus, I followed close by his side ready to hear anything that he had to say to me, I could take anything just to hear that he forgave me.

"What would you like me to say Hiei?" He asked me softly.

I didn't want him to ask me that, I wanted to know what he was thinking, anything that he was feeling, I wanted to know if he was numb at all, if he even cared. I wanted to know if he was going to be taking this to heart so that I would know if I would ever be able to try telling him anything anymore.

"Say anything Kurama, I want to know what your thinking." I looked away from his face, knowing that I had yet to apologize and knowing I needed to. "You know I'm sorry right?" My voice was so quiet I wondered if I had even said it at all.

"Over the last couple of days you've apologized more times than I've ever heard you before, I have to wonder why." I looked back at him, "would you rather me not?"

"That's not what I said."

"But do you forgive me?" He was quiet but I continued to watch him, with every step I took my confidence that he would in fact forgive me dwindled away.

"Why did you do that, Hiei?" He asked.

"I was having a bad dream, I thought you were someone else."

"Who?" He asked finally meeting my eyes for the first time, I saw the question and I was glad that finally I was seeing something at all! But I also knew that he was trying to figure me out, something I could also see in his eyes.

Certain words would trigger another question from him and he knew that I would always answer him truthfully, whether it was in complete detail or not was something different.

"No one."

He was quiet for a moment, "when you shouted Hiei, you sounded particularly upset, what exactly was happening in this dream?"

I had to think to word my answer correctly, why I didn't know, if he correctly asked me what was going on, I would probably tell him; but only probably.

"Nothing of great importance."

"Then what would you consider of importance?"

"Do you forgive me or not Kurama?" I shouted and he stopped a step ahead of me, my fist was clenched and I had to force myself to look at him when he turned to me.

"Of course I do." He said with his fake smile again.

"Then why do you give me all of these fake smiles?" I asked him, his face went blank and I starred back firmly, "you know they hurt more than you showing me nothing because then I know that you're hiding something behind it all." Now was when he showed me nothing and I wondered if that was a little too hard.

"I would at least like to think that you trusted me as much as I trust you."

"I do trust you Hiei, you should know that. But you're the one holding stuff back from me, but I don't press for it." He did have a point.

"I have to wonder Kurama… would you be here for me?" I asked him quietly going up to him again, I think he saw the hurt that even I didn't know was in me face because his hand reached out and touched my arm where it was bandaged.

"Of course Hiei." Right then I was suddenly convinced that he would always be there, and now he had said it, I could rest some of the weight I'd been carrying, on him if I so choose; that was a good feeling.

-

"Are you sure you don't want to stay over again?" Kurama asked when we reached my house, I looked at it's empty, uninviting door and thought again about it.

"Yeah." He smiled and I held one back. "See you tomorrow at Yusuke's party." Kurama said before I started for the front door, I nodded and we went our separate ways.

Normal P.O.V

Once inside Hiei found himself surrounded by the thick silence of the house, nothing moved for once, he resisted the urge to call out for his mother to see if she was even home.

Walking into the kitchen Hiei found a note addressed to him:

Hiei,

If you're reading this Yusa and I have gone out with his friends, will be back tomorrow or the next day probably.

Mother

Hiei crumpled the paper up and threw it away, of course his mother would leave him here alone on the one day he really wished they were here to keep him thinking that he was better than them all.

He walked into the living room and pushed some empty liquor bottles off the couch, he had decided a few years ago that he would never drink, there would be no way he'd be able to live with himself if he ended up like his mother.

He looked over the forgotten room that was littered with broken glass, bottles, and other random trash from past drinking trips his mother and Yusa had gone on.

Hiei had given up cleaning it after they were done, after a day or so it ended up the same way it had before he had done it.

He picked up a thick piece of glass from a bottle that had been broken, he started thinking about how he had come to be in the place that he was.

As hard as it was to believe there had once been a time when his family was normal. His father was still with his mother and they lived in this very house together happily.

That had been when he was still a kid though, and times change.

Finally his father must have realized that his mother was drinking a little more each day, and they began to fight more and more, violently most of the time.

Hiei remembered waking up in the middle of the night and hearing the sound of his mother's screams and the two of them hitting one another on the bottom floor.

And then one day his father came up and told him that he was leaving, he told him that no matter what anyone told him it was not his fault, and to never do anything stupid.

It took a good number of years of living with his drunken mother and her hundreds of boyfriends, but finally Hiei learned that 'don't do anything stupid' meant don't kill yourself.

That, along with the few other things was the only thing that had been keeping him from doing 'something stupid'. But it seemed that with every drinking trip that his mother went on, it became a little harder for him to convince himself out of it.

'I wonder how much it would really hurt.' Hiei thought holding the glass between both his index fingers. 'Would it hurt like all of the other times or would it hurt a lot worse because of what it is?'

He stopped suddenly and threw the glass against the far wall in fury. 'What am I thinking?' He thought to himself, 'Kurama has already had to watch my slow spiral downwards to where I am now, what would he do if he had to know what I had done?'

Kurama had been his friend even when his father had still been here, and after words he had watched and been a good friend as Hiei had fallen to his place.

He did thank the redhead, without him there doing whatever unconscious thing it was he did the fall would have been a lot more violent and probably a little shorter.

'Just stop.' He told himself, his hands holding his head, 'just get through this night and then tomorrow you'll be surrounded by all of them and everything can be fine for one more day.'

One more day, just one more day… how many more days would he be able to convince himself out of something stupid he wasn't sure.

-

Hiei's P.O.V

By midnight I had nearly forgotten what was true and what was not, my mind had slipped into a place that was all too familiar to me, and to this day I still hate going there.

Everything was falling away from me, I sat on the stairs with my head in my hands, my body was crying out for sleep but my mind urged me to do the unthinkable.

Who would even care anyway, I've already had the confirmation that everyone is slowly leaving me, why not just quicken their task?

I think Kurama would be the only one who would really care if I died, he would be the only one who would come to my funeral, but after that I'm sure he'd be happy to be able to do what he wanted without having to be friends with the likes of me.

And my mother would just take it as a reason to drink more, she wouldn't have to worry about having a kid that she didn't want to begin with, and my father was never coming back so I suppose he wouldn't know it if I did it anyway.

I looked up at the ceiling, trying to find something that would be sturdy enough to hold a rope, there was nothing as the vaulted ceilings were smooth.

I stood up and went to the living room where there were more than enough weapons of choice, all the broken glass, one slip of the hands and it would all be over.

I bent down and took a nearly perfect square piece, I could see my broken reflection in it, had I finally snapped? Would this really be the last night that I would ever breath the air of the world?

I chocked out the air that I had forgotten to breath.

I forced myself up the stairs and into the bathroom that only I used, I locked the door and slid down the wall. I placed the cold glass to my wrist and began to simply press down, to see if it would hurt.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to just drag it across my skin, and then when I feel the pain of the skin splitting and the vein being severed force my eyes open so I can watch my life flow out of my arm.

I pulled the glass away and looked at the white line that had formed from the pressure; it disappeared quickly. It was yes or no, there was no alternate option.

If I did it halfway and only partly cut it, then Kurama found it tomorrow there would be no escaping his questions.

I didn't want to do it only because I knew it would upset Kurama but on the other hand I did want to know how he would take it, and I did want to know how it feels.

I swallowed down all of my negative thoughts as tears came to my eyes that I would never let spill, I had to do this, I needed to, even if it was to simply know that I was still alive and to know that this was not all just a horrible nightmare.

If this life had all just been a test, then I had failed. Get ready death, because I'm coming on my own now.

A/N: Ha, cliffhanger! So, do you think that Hiei will survive his night? Now I know some people may think that this may be a little extreme for this Hiei but everyone has been there, just that one night where you're fine during the day but once night sets in you start thinking completely different. Anyway…

Please review!

-Forbiddneousoul562