Title: "Auto and the Kid"

Type: Mainstream

Subtext: No. Subtext? What subtext? Never heard of the stuff. ;-)

Rating: G

Spoilers: None

Continuity Placement: Eh, let's say Season 2. Why not:-)

Historian's Note: No known historical inaccuracies noted.

Synapses: Autolycus inadvertently picks up a stray orphan, and turns to Xena to help him get out of the situation.

Author's Note: This story was born out of a Lyrics Challenge that I participated in. The song that inspired it was "Fine Life" from the musical "Oliver!", I'll leave it to you, dear reader, to find the line that refers to this. ;-)

Archival Permission: Yes. But I'd like to know first. (Like anyone would want this tripe! ;-)

Disclaimer: All characters within are the sole property of Universal Studios. The use of herein characters is for private use only. No infringement is intended, either expressed or implied. All rights reserved. Copyright 2008.

"Auto and the Kid"

By Rupert Brown

Prologue

Making good an escape from a successful job, Autolycus saved a small boy from being run down by a cart. Little did the king of thieves know that this small gesture would result in so large a problem.

It turned out that this little boy was alone in the world, and as having no one to turn to, latched onto Autolycus as his newfound 'parent'. And to complete the picture, he set about becoming a thief as well, much to the older rouge's dismay.

Try as he might, he couldn't dissuade the lad from this inclination. Finally, desperate, he sought out Xena for help. Amused, she consented to aid him. And here the tale picks up.

Chapter 1

Walking down the path, Autolycus would occasionally look over his shoulder. The boy was still back there, doggedly following them, much to his consternation and the girls' amusement.

"I'm telling you Xena, that kid's cramping my style!"

Xena laughed at the desperation in his voice.

"I mean, how does it look," he went on, "for the King of Thieves to have some kid hanging around?"

"You could always say he's the heir apparent..."

"Cute. I come to you with a problem and you make jokes. I don't know what Joxer sees in you two..."

Xena turned to him, her eyes dancing merrily.

"Look, it's not as if your head's in a noose. You just have an admirer. In fact, I think it's kind of cute."

Autolycus grimaced. "Yeah, real cute. Listen sister, you can keep all the strays that come your way if you want, but me, I'm a lone wolf kind of guy. I've got an image to uphold."

"Look," the Warrior Princess said again, "I said I'd help and I will."

"Yeah? Then how?"

"He wants to be a thief, right?" Autolycus nodded.

"Then we just show him how a thief lives."

Autolycus felt uneasy at the smile that crept over Xena's face.

"We'll show him that the life of a thief isn't as glamorous as he thinks it is."

Turning around, Xena addressed Gabrielle, who had been keeping step with their new 'ward'.

"We don't have any ginseng root left. I think I saw some in the village we passed by yesterday. Could you go back and get some?"

Knowing her part, Gabrielle replied in kind.

"Sure thing. I'll be back before you know it." Leaning down, she ruffled the boy's hair.

"See 'ya little guy."

"I told you, I'm not little! I'm almost nine!"

While her body mimicked solemn acceptance, the smile she wore ruined the artifice.

"Oh, you better take Argo." Xena added blandly.

"Right."

Grabbing Argo's reigns, the bard waved to the crew before turning down the trail.

In a low aside, Autolycus queried, "Ginseng root?"

"Work with me here." The Warrior Princess murmured.

And so the three of them walked together until they finally reached a town by the name of Macosoftis.

"Okay, now what?" Autolycus whispered.

"Watch and learn..."

She raised her voice to make sure the boy could hear her.

"We need to find a place to stay for the night. I'll have a look around."

Catching on, Autolycus answered in the same manner.

"Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. Come on kid, let's see if we can't find a place to bunk." In an exaggerated effort, he took the boy by his side and set off through town.

Left to herself, Xena headed straight for the stables, the pre-established rendezvous site.

There was Gabrielle, waiting with Argo just as planned.

"So, how do we go about doing this?" The blond bard asked.

"One step at a time..."