After spending most off the morning and afternoon shopping, Jane was more than bored. She had bought some new clothes and a new outfit for tonight. Finally after pulling Maura out off a shop, Jane dragged her to the nearest coffee shop.
"Jane, you can let go off my hand now." Maura says as they walk into the coffee shop.
Jane looks at her with a confused look. "Why would I do that? Do you not want to hold my hand?"
"It's not that, Jane. I just...I didn't know if you would be comfortable with this. Out in public, I mean." Maura sighs.
"I'm not ashamed about us."
They both ordered their coffees and found a table. Jane broke the silence. "I spent my marriage wanting you, wanting us. But also knowing that we could never do this. Now that we are, there isn't a damn thing that anyone can say or do, to make me ashamed off what we are doing. We're following our hearts. No one can say anything about that." Jane smiled. She entwined her fingers with Maura's. "I love you, okay?"
Maura nodded. "Love you too."
"I need to do a few things before later. Think you can look after yourself for two hours, tops?" Jane asked, playfully.
"I think I can manage." Maura smirked.
Jane stood and kissed Maura's forehead. "I'll phone you when I'm done."
Maura nodded as she watched Jane pick up her coffee cup and walk out. It was only her second coffee of the day, so Maura decided to order another one before she left. She desperately wanted to know where Jane was going but she knew Jane wouldn't have told her even if she did ask.
…
An hour and half later Jane took her phone from her jeans pocket and hit #1 speed dial. Hearing Maura's phone start to ring Jane tried unsuccessfully to scratch her left shoulder blade. She had been told that it would start to scab over in a few days, and if she wanted it to remain even without fading in places, she wasn't aloud to pick at it. I can't bloody pick at it if I can't reach it. Jane smiled. She knew why she had done it, but she hoped Maura would see it her way. Understand the reason as to why she had just got a tattoo.
"Doctor Isles." Maura said as she answered her phone.
"Really? You still answer you're phone like that when you know it's me and you're off work."
"I'm technically not off work though. Just because I'm in New York doesn't mean I leave my job back in Boston." Maura said.
Jane smiled. "But I'm guessing that you checked caller ID before you answered you're phone, so you knew it was me."
"That's true." Maura laughed.
"And I wouldn't have been calling you about work."
"Well...you could have stumbled upon a murder." Maura smiled as she realised nearly everyone in the coffee shop was giving her a 'are you serious look'. "I'm still where you left me. Hurry up."
"Just got one more thing I need to buy before I meet you."
"Jane..." Maura sighed.
"Meet me back at the hotel. I paid for a late check out, before we left, so we wouldn't have to carry our stuff with us all day." Jane said. "We'll pack the car when I get there and then we'll be set for later."
"Okay."
"I won't be long. I'll see you in a bit." Jane ended the call before walking into the jewellers.
…
Fifteen minutes later Jane was walking back into the lobby off the hotel. Instead of going straight up to the hotel room she decided she would get a drink first. To calm her nerves. She had no idea how Maura was going to react to seeing the tattoo, or to even know that Jane had got one in the first place.
Walking into the bar, the first thing to catch her eye was Maura. Maura standing at the bar, one foot resting on the foot rest, that wrapped all the way around the bar, leaning on the bar with her elbow and slowly sipping her drink. Smiling to herself, Jane was just about to walk towards her when the figure of someone else caught her eye. He was getting dangerously close to her girlfriend. Her eyes flicked back to Maura and saw how Maura was inching back. That was all Jane needed to see. She quickly made her way towards Maura.
Jane kissed Maura's cheek. "Hey babe. I'm back." Jane whispered in her ear. She watched as Maura relaxed. Jane turned her attention to the guy watching them. "Can we help you?"
"I was just asking you're friend if I could buy her a drink."
"Well...I guess you're kinda off the hook now. Cause the next round is on me." Jane smiled. "Right babe?" Jane asked looking at Maura.
Maura nodded. "You haven't let me buy a drink since you arrived here. I don't see you stopping any time soon."
"So...let me and my friend buy you both a drink." The guy said, pointing to towards his friend and they table they we sitting at.
Both Jane and Maura turned to look. When Jane felt Maura tense up, she quickly turned to see what had spooked the woman next to her. When she saw the guy had his hand on Maura, she immediately went for her gun. The gun she didn't actually have on her. It was locked in the safe of the security department of the hotel. She handed it over her first night here. Maura's orders. Since she wasn't actually back on active duty just yet and she couldn't come up with a good enough argument to keep it with her, she handed it over. Now I have one. I have a good enough reason to keep it on me. She saw Maura try and pull her arm away and she saw the guy's grip tighten around Maura's arm. Jane felt Maura's fingers grip into her hip as she tried unsuccessfully to stop Jane from doing anything. But it was to late, before Jane could even think about it her fist connected to his nose.
Maura watched it all happen in slow motion. She saw Jane swing for the guy in front off them. She heard the sickening sound off Jane's hand crunching the guys nose. She knew Jane had broken his nose. She watched as the guy stumbled backwards before his legs gave way and he fell, blood pouring from his nose. She watched as Jane's gaze fell to the hand that had just connected with the guys nose, she saw Jane clench and unclench her hand. Her heart broke when Jane looked at her. Maura could see the unshead tears in Jane's eyes and could see Jane's bottom lip trembling. "Jane..." She whispered.
"Maura..." Jane barely whispered. She was just about to take a step towards Maura when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She was just about to apologize when he leant over and whispered something in her ear.
Maura watched a few feet away as the guy whispered something in Jane's ear. She saw Jane's expression change in the blink off an eye. Pure anger. She had never seen this expression before on Jane. And she had to admit it scared her.
Jane stood frozen in place. She was thrown back into a memory.
The first time Robert had hit her. She was in the kitchen. Nothing had been off that day. It was actually the first time in a while that they had the day off together. Robert had gone that night, had one too many drinks. It was soon to become the same old story. She'd just put Jason to bed and was in the middle of getting a bottle of beer, before watching an baseball game. Robert had sneaked up behind her, successfully making Jane jump.
"You fucking idiot." Jane said as she dropped the bottle off beer on the floor and watched it smash. She was talking more to herself than to Robert. As he turned around, she noticed a look on Robert's face that she had never seen before. A few seconds later, she felt his hand connect with her cheek. Her head hitting the fridge from the force off Robert's smack.
She took a deep breath as she looked back at him a few minute later. A cut bleeding from her eyebrow where she had hit the fridge.
Robert closed the distance between them and whispered. "Next time I won't be so gentle."
Jane spun around and connected her foot to the back off the guys knee. She watched as he efficiently went to the ground. When he tried to stand up she placed her foot on his back and pushed him back down. "Stay down." Jane growled.
The guy did as he was told, but he turned so he could lay on his back. Looking up at Jane he gave a smug smile.
Jane placed her foot on the guys throat and added a little pressure. She heard someone shout they were calling for the police. Digging into her pocket, she pulled her badge out. "I am the fucking police." She shouted in the direction off the bar, showing them her badge. She saw the guys eyes widen.
"Jane...please." Maura whispered, placing her hand on Jane's shoulder. Maura saw the far away look on Jane's face a minutes ago and she knew Jane was thinking about Robert. She had to somehow get Jane back to her. Back to the moment they were currently in. She waited until Jane looked at her. "Jane...this isn't Robert. Let him go." Maura noticed Jane had put more pressure on the guy throat. "Please..." Maura pleaded.
"He...he hu...he hurt you." Jane stammered.
Maura knew Jane was right. He had hurt her. She was pretty sure she would have a bruise sometime in the next few hours. "Please...baby, let him go." Maura watched as Jane looked from her to the guy and back again while taking a few deep breaths.
Jane nodded. Slowly she lifted her foot off the guys neck and pulled him up with a hand full off his shirt. Pushing him into the nearest table, Jane started. "The next time you touch another women, just remember me." Jane growled. "Because as from now, you have every cop in America watching every single move you and you're buddies make. Touch one more women for any reason and I will make it my personal goal to get you for it."
The guy nodded slowly.
Jane reached into his suit jacket and pulled his wallet from his pocket. Opening it up she quickly found his Driving Licence. "Jake Anderson. I'll remember that name. Watch you're back, Jake. Put one foot out off line and I'll have you for it." Jane shoved Jake to the side. "Get out off here."
Jake took a step in Maura's direction to apologize. He didn't get anywhere near her before he felt an hand tighten arm his arm before pulling him back.
"I said, get the fuck out off here...Now." Jane said rather calmly.
Jake nodded. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.
Jane watched as Jake left the hotel bar, once she was positive he was gone she turned back to look at the table she had him pinned against. Resting her hands on the edge, she closed her eyes and let her head fall. She was fighting the tears. She jumped when she felt a hand on her upper arm, but she quickly relaxed when she knew it was Maura. Slowly opening her eyes and turning her head she looked at Maura. "I..." Jane dropped her head again. She couldn't think off anything to say. Jane stayed like that for a few minutes, trying to think off something say. When she finally pushed away from the table, she couldn't look at Maura. Instead she dug in Frankie's jacket pocket. Pulling out a gift box she handed it Maura, before walking away.
Maura looked at the box Jane had just placed in her hand. Tiffany & Co. Looking back up she saw Jane just leaving the bar. Paying the bartender and apologizing she picked up their shopping bags before she went in search for Jane.
…
Slamming the hotel room door behind her, Jane shrugged off Frankie's jacket, before throwing it on the sofa. Walking into the bedroom, she wanted nothing more than to forget the last hour, she crawled onto the bed. This time when she felt the tears coming, she didn't hold them in. She didn't fight them. For the first time in her life Jane was starting to realize she couldn't fight everything any more.
Maura placed the bags down next to the door. She took off her shoes and made her way to the bedroom. She saw Jane curled up on her side, her back facing the door. She knew Jane was crying. Slowly she climb on the bed and moved closer to Jane. Placing a hand on Jane's side, Maura leaned closer and placed a kiss on Jane's shoulder. Above the tattoo.
Jane jumped off the bed when she felt Maura's lips just above her tattoo. Backing herself against the wall. Jane still couldn't look at Maura, so she kept her gaze on the floor.
"I've already seen it, Jane."
Jane glanced at Maura and gave her a questioning look.
"You're tattoo." Maura said. "I've already seen it." Maura smiled as she climbed off the bed and walked over to Jane. "It means something to you. It's you're sons name."
Jane walked away again when Maura touched her.
"Jane...what happened down..."
"I can't do this to you any more. I can't be near you any more. It's not safe. I'm not safe for you to be around." Jane said, walking into the room.
"Why not?" Maura asked. "We are not ending this. Not after everything it took for us to be were we are now."
"You don't get it, do you?" Jane shouted. "I nearly killed that guy."
"But you didn't." Maura answered.
"Do you the first thing I did when I saw his hand on you?"
Maura shook her head.
"I went straight for my gun. At that point yes, I probably would have just threatened him with it. But then I felt you're fingers dig into my hip and I knew I couldn't let him get away with hurting you like that. Like what I went through. So I hit him." Jane sighed. She finally meet Maura's gaze. "I felt so guilty after I did it. I couldn't believe I had just done that in front off you. I was going to say sorry. But then he said that. He..." Jane choked on a sob.
"What did he say?" Maura reached out and held Jane's hand. She wouldn't let Jane pull away from her.
"Next time I won't be so gentle." Jane whispered.
Maura pulled Jane to the sofa and sat down, pulling Jane down next to her. Maura knew Jane would continue when she was ready so she stayed quiet, rubbing her thumb up and down Jane's hand in comfort.
Jane took a deep breath. "Robert said the exact same words to me the first night he hit me. I was pulled back into that memory. When I came out I couldn't control myself. I wanted to hurt him the say way he hurt me. All the anger I felt when I was with Robert came rushing back to the top."
Maura stayed quiet.
"You still don't get it, do you?" Jane asked. "You can't be around me. I didn't know how much anger I had in me until he said them words. If I did have my gun on me at that time..." Jane turned to look Maura in the eye. "...I would have emptied the whole magazine into his head. He'd be dead, Maura. I would have killed him." Jane felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. "I can't do that to you, Maura. I can't put you through that."
"Well..." Maura began. "I'm sorry, but you don't get to choose that any more, Jane."
"Please...don't make this any harder than it has to be." Jane whispered.
"Tough." Maura shouted. "You aren't doing this, Jane. You can't tell me you love me, then decide you can't do this because you think it will be too hard for me. Do you honestly believe it hasn't already been hard for me? Jane..." Maura lowered her voice. "I had Barry running into the Morgue telling me about you. I had to check if Jason still had a pulse. I had to find you, laying in you're own kitchen, covered in blood. I was the one who told you're parents what had happened. I sat by your bedside, not knowing if I was going to lose my best friend." Maura sobbed. "I had to tell you about Jason, because I knew if anyone else told you, you would have bottled everything up. I was with you the first time you went back into that house. I was with you through Jason's funeral. I held you every night, through every nightmare. Do you really think all off them things weren't hard enough for me? Do you honestly think that after all that, plus everything else, that I would let you just push me away?"
"I don't know what else to do." Jane admitted. "I don't want to loose you, Maura. But I don't know if I will be able to control my anger. I don't want to end up breaking you're nose if you happen to say the wrong thing."
"Stop right there." Maura stated firmly. "We both know you would never hit me. No matter what I happened to say. You would never hit me."
"Maura..."
"Would you?" Maura asked. "If it was me who had said that to you earlier. Would you have hit me?"
Jane shook her head. "No. I would have fell into you're arms and cried." Jane knew she would never lay a hand on Maura, and Maura knew it as well. There was no point in lying.
"Exactly." Maura whispered. "Jane...everything we have already been through...it has all been extremely hard for me, but I won't stop being with you. I can't, Jane. I nearly lost you once. I will never let you go."
Jane sobbed again as she placed her head on Maura's shoulder.
"I promise, Jane. I won't ever let you go." Maura placed a kiss to the top of Jane's head.
Jane lifted her legs on to the sofa and cuddled into Maura's side. She laid with her back against the bad off the sofa when Maura lifted her legs. Jane wrapped an arm around Maura's waist and placed her right leg over Maura's, so she wouldn't fall off the sofa.
Maura eventually broke the silence that had settled up on them. "Do you still want to stick with you're plans for tonight? Or would you rather us just drive home?"
Jane slowly traced her hand up Maura's side. "I want to show you this place. So were still sticking with my plans. If you want to?"
Maura smiled. "I want to."
Jane groaned. "We should start to get ready." Jane leaned up, so Maura could get up. She noticed the gift box what she had gave Maura down in the bar. "Did you open it?" Jane pointed to the box on the table next to the door.
Maura shook her head. "No. You didn't want me too. If you did you wouldn't have given it to me then."
"Open it later." Jane whispered. She was glad Maura hadn't opened it. It meant she could give it to Maura the way she had originally planned. Not as a last present. Not as a goodbye.
Maura nodded. "Okay."
Jane smiled, before leaning in to take Maura's lips is a passionate kiss. "For the record. I'll never let you go either." Jane whispered as she pulled away.