Castiel's heart raced. Dean couldn't possible know. How could he know? Castiel was reaching complete panic and fought to keep his breathing as even as possible, knowing his fear could only make it worse. He closed his eyes, preparing himself for Dean's anger, or worse, hatred.
Though he certainly did not expect the words that came out of his mouth.
"You're a hunter, there's no other explanation," Dean practically growled at Castiel, "I should have realised sooner, are you here for the museum case too?" he demanded.
Confusion was the first emotion to enter Castiel's mind after the sheer relief that the word 'angel' had not been mentioned. That confusion quickly lead to fear. That fear quickly lead to terror as he remembered what he had been told about hunters. And that Dean had just revealed himself to be just that.
"H-hunter?" Castiel stuttered out, how could Dean have possible thought he was a hunter?
"Admit it Cas, don't even try lying to me. Demons, ghosts, you know what I'm talking about," Dean made no move to loosen the pressure on Castiel and he shifted uncomfortably under Dean's harsh gaze. He had never suspected that such hostility existed between hunters, though he could see the anger clearly in Dean's eyes.
"I swear Dean, I'm not a hunter, please believe me," Castiel tried portraying as much emotion through his eyes as possible, showing his truthfulness and fear to the recently-revealed-hunter.
Dean obviously received the message as he suddenly seemed unsure of himself. He looked around nervously, checking that no one was around witnessing the event and slowly released his arm from Castiel's chest.
Castiel realised his hand was still braced against Dean's forehead and quickly let it drop to his side, thankful Dean hadn't appeared to notice the strange behaviour. He took a couple of seconds to collect his mind, racing from his discovery of Dean. Dean was one of the only people with the ability to truly hurt him, though Castiel supposed even without being a hunter, Dean could hurt him in ways other than just physically.
Surely Dean wouldn't do anything against him, they were friends. Though it seemed apparent that even their friendship didn't matter when it came to who - or what - the other was, at least to Dean. It was his job, and though Dean didn't believe in angels, Castiel was still considered a supernatural being. The exact thing Dean was supposed to hunt down and wipe from the face of the Earth.
Cas looks back into Dean's eyes and sees a panic to rival his own. Dean had realised his mistake and knew there was no possible way to take back what he had said. He hoped to any god there was that Cas just thought he was insane. It would be so much easier that way.
"I'm-" Dean started but couldn't get the words out when he saw the look of complete fear on Cas's face. He took a couple of shaky steps back and quickly turned, rushing to the Impala. Stupid. He had been completely stupid coming to such hasty conclusions. Maybe he really /was/ just some kid who happened to know his lore. He shook his head and started the Impala, driving off as soon as the engine sprang to life.
And he most certainly did not look back at Castiel, who had slid to the ground with his arms wrapped around his knees in shock.
He got back to Bobby's house too soon to find Sam lying on the couch, who immediately noticed his foul mood.
"Dean, you okay?" Dean just rolled his eyes at the question but knew his brother was truly concerned.
"I made a mistake Sammy, I screwed up big time," Dean threw his bag on the floor with more force than necessary and sat heavily on the couch once Sam had sat up.
"What happened? Are you okay?" Sam asked quietly, as if afraid of spooking Dean, who had placed his head in his hands.
"Nothing, its fine. I'm just gonna go to bed," Dean shook his head and made his way to his room, where he got next to no sleep that night. He decided the only thing he could do to save both him and Cas the trouble of that afternoon was to avoid him completely. He hated the idea but he knew he was getting dangerously close to him, and he was being affected in a way he'd never felt before.
x
Cas had flown back home and sat on his bed, staring at the wall opposite him, mind racing at a million miles an hour. Dean was dangerous to be around. He hated the thought of what he did but could hardly stand staying away from him. Though he knew if Gabe and Balthazar found out they would leave immediately, leaving a memory-less Dean behind. Castiel didn't know which was worse.
Gabriel had come into the room a few times to check on him and could clearly see the pain he was trying to hide. He knew something really bad must have happened to have gotten such a reaction though he couldn't bring himself to ask, knowing that could only make it worse. He entered the room once more, attempting to lure Castiel out this time.
"Hey Cassie, wanna go flying? I hate seeing you cooped up in here," He made his best attempt but knew it was futile. Castiel simply shook his head and continued his brooding. Gabriel sighed and left him, as it was all he could do. He was not looking forward to getting him to school tomorrow.
The night passed and Castiel remained in his position until he heard Gabriel clearly getting ready for school. He stiffly slid off his bed, changed and collected his bag, waiting patiently by the front door. When Gabriel saw him his eyes widened slightly, not expecting to see his brother out of his room.
The drive to school was silent and uncomfortable for Gabriel's part. Castiel left the car as soon as it stopped and didn't bother saying goodbye to his brother. He made his way straight to Dean's locker, hoping he would go by it before class.
He knew Dean was dangerous but losing his was the last thing he wanted to happen. He was still the same Dean, still the same soul.
He jolted in his thoughts as he remembered Dean's words. The museum case. At the time the words had gone right over his head, though now he had time to think, he realised exactly what they meant.
Dean was hunting him already.
The memory of the pain of the bullet tearing through his wing made him wince. He tried to calm himself down, failing to assure himself that Dean would never find out it was him. There was no way he could guarantee that unless he stopped, but he had to recover the weapons for Balthazar. They didn't belong on Earth in the first place and he had promised his brother, he couldn't betray him for a human he had known for a few weeks.
He had made up his mind not to lose Dean, he just had to be more careful around him. He hoped they would be able to talk about the day before's encounter and there was a slight glimmer of hope that Dean could be open about it. Though he felt guilty for not being able to be as much with him.
His breath sped up as he caught sight of Dean, whether of fear or something else, he didn't know. The green eyed boy hesitated in his step as he saw who was waiting by his locker, but continued with eyes downcast.
"Dean" Cas said softly as the boy reached his locker. He got no response and repeated himself slightly harsher, which only came out sounding more pained, "Dean,"
Dean closed his eyes as he heard Cas's voice. He despised what he was doing but he had just told Cas that he hunted monsters. He knew he would leave as soon as he dealt with the /thing/ he was hunting and he knew it would hurt less to just sever all attachments.
"Drop it Cas, please," his attempt at a strong voice failed pitifully and came out as a whisper. Watching Cas's face drop made Dean want to take his words back, but he knew what he was doing was for the best.
"Dean wait-" Castiel was cut off as Dean closed his locker door and walked to English. Castiel stood there numbly as he watched Dean walk away from him, his heart felt like it was being cut from his chest. Like a part of his grace had been torn away and left with Dean's words. Dean was prepared to drop Castiel from his life after their confrontation. He reluctantly shifted the bag hanging off his shoulder and followed him slowly.
When he entered the classroom his heart dropped even lower. Dean had taken a seat towards the front of the room and had obviously ensured there were no spare spaces around him. He was avoiding looking towards the doorway and was busying himself by playing with his watch. Castiel sat in his usual seat at the back of the room and tried not to miss the feeling of having Dean right beside him.
Castiel made multiple attempts at talking to Dean during the day and each one was either ignored or brushed off. His resolve was slowly crumbling away beneath him and he felt like he had lost the boy already.
When school had finished, Dean had rushed out of the classroom and by the time Castiel left the building, his car was long gone. Castiel sighed and drove silently back home with Gabriel, making his way straight to his room in the same state as that morning.
The next few days pass by much the same, the weekend rushing past in a blur, not that Castiel noticed as he only left his room for school. He continued trying to get Dean's attention, to make him speak to him properly but he had started to ignore Castiel's presence completely. His chest tightened a little bit more each time he was brushed off, and he realised just how much he missed talking to Dean, being around Dean. He missed the way those green eyes gazed into his, he missed the deep tones of his voice.
He knew what he was feeling was not classified as 'normal' towards another, he believed what he felt was more than a strong like. It was the kind of tug in his stomach that tells you that you /need/ to be with this person. He craved for the electric feeling every time Dean brushed against him. He felt so vulnerable around him. So human.
Gabriel once again stood outside Castiel's room, knowing just how upset he was, though for what reason he had no clue. He swore if it was that Dean's fault he would tear the boy's spleen out through his throat. He shook his head and figured he would try his best at getting Castiel's spirits up and decided on the one thing he found absolutely hilarious on Earth. The human's version of angelic 'history' and 'lore', which was mostly just a random collection of children's stories, of fluffy white wings, halos and harps.
Not bothered to take the half hour drive, he flew to just behind the town library, made his way to the front door and went straight to the religion section. It took him a few minutes, but eventually he found a couple of books he was looking for. He spotted one on the top shelf and attempted to reach it, which of course he couldn't do due to his short stature. He huffed as he cursed the abnormally tall bookshelves and tried one last time. Another hand quickly slid the book out of its place and held it towards the angel. Gabriel turned to mutter a 'coulda done it myself' but stopped short as he recognised the giant standing before him.
"Oh hey, you're Castiel's brother aren't you?" he asked before Gabriel could get a word out.
"Yeah, call me Gabriel. And you're that Dean kid's bro, eh?" Sam smiled and nodded in response.
"Hey- um, you don't happen to know what's up with Dean do you? Like, has Cas said anything about it? He's been acting kinda mopey lately," Sam asked, with genuine concern lacing his voice. Gabriel almost rolled his eyes, of course he had something to do with Castiel's bad mood.
"I have no clue dude, but Cassie's been the same. He's been like that for a couple of days now,"
"Do you reckon they'll just make up and move on or should we get involved? They are our brothers after all," Sam was seriously worried for his brother, who had barely left his room except to eat and go to school. He knew it had something to do with the 'mistake' he had made a few days ago.
"I don't know, Cassie's not exactly one to just go and fix things. If we could just get them in one spot with just each other maybe they'd just sort things out by themselves?" Gabriel just wanted Castiel to get over his bad mood so he could really have his brother back.
"Yeah good idea, like if we get them to both meet us around the side of the school tomorrow but just leave them by themselves to sort things out?"
"Sounds like a plan. I've gotta get back to Cassie but I'll see you around," Gabriel gave Sam a crooked smile.
"Have fun with your angels then," Sam pointed to the small stack of books in Gabriel's arms. He noticed Sam had a similar stack in his own and laughed slightly under his breath, "my name's Sam by the way," he added. The name suited him, although something like gigantor may have been more appropriate.
He left with a quick goodbye and flew back to Castiel. He got no response when he knocked on the door and simply left the books on his bedside table.
The next morning, Castiel was waiting at the door for his brother as usual. And as usual, the drive was silent and uncomfortable.
As soon as they arrived, Castiel made to leave the car but was stopped when he felt Gabriel grab his sleeve.
"Hey bro, can you meet me at the side of the school this afternoon? Uh, Balthy wants us to do something," Gabriel thought his lie was pretty convincing. Castiel reluctantly nodded and continued leaving the car. It seemed stupid for something as insignificant as the side of the school building to make Castiel cringe but that was the moment Dean had started pushing him away. And for that, he never wanted to set foot there again.
x
"Hey Dean, this afternoon can you meet me 'round the side of the school? I've got some stuff about the case and Bobby's back at the house so-" Sam was cut off by Dean's agreement.
"Sure Sammy. Make sure it's good though, we've got no leads to what the hell that thing is," Dean was pissed. Not at anything specific, just in a general very bad mood. The last thing he wanted to do was go back to the place where he was sure he scarred Cas for life, but he needed to get out of this place as soon as possible.
His heart lurched every time Cas had tried to talk to him. He didn't deserve him, Cas was too good and Dean was everything that was bad. He hated what he was feeling towards Cas because he couldn't afford to screw up his life with all his 'issues', and they were so much worse than that word could convey. He had already terrified the kid enough.
Each time Dean saw Cas that day, his heart sunk just a little more. Today was the day, it seemed, that Cas had finally given up on him. He wasn't sure what hurt him more, having to ignore Cas each time he approached Dean, or having him stop bothering with him at all. Each day he had regretted his decision more and more, and he hated himself for it. He was so attached to the guy and it seemed nothing was going to stop the guilt, and general sadness each time he saw the pain and hurt in those blue eyes.
He felt like he was the main character in a chick flick, pining over a lost love. And no matter how wrong he tried to convince himself that it was, he couldn't help but admit it was a pretty damn accurate description.
And then he had to remind himself that he didn't love Cas. He had just found someone to hang on to and his mind was just messing with him. Especially when it seemed to stop working altogether whenever the boy smiled, or laughed and left him a bumbling moron.
The end of the day came slowly and Dean couldn't say he was exactly excited for whatever Sam planned on telling him.
x
Cas was waiting patiently by the side of the school. His back was turned to the wall and the crowd of students going home just around the corner. Behind the school was a forest. How generic. He could hear it teeming with life and couldn't help but think about how easy the animals that lived there had it. I mean sure, fighting for survival and all that. But Castiel had lived for thousands of years, maybe even millions- it had all become a blur as of late, and he knew from firsthand experience that a longer life didn't necessarily mean a better one.
He laughed under his breath about how 'deep and meaningful' his thoughts had become from just listening to a forest. He supposed it was either that or worry about Dean.
As if on cue, Castiel heard hurried footsteps rounding the corner behind him and instantly knew who it was.
He knew Dean wouldn't he coming to talk and be friendly after ignoring him for days. He panicked and considered running but decided he needed to make Dean listen to him, to know he didn't care that he was a hunter. Even if that could be considered a bit of a lie.
He heard Dean stop, as if seeing Castiel had shocked him, and before he could even comprehend what he was doing, had slammed Dean into the wall behind him. It was almost identical a scene as when Dean had confronted him, with the roles reversed.
"Cas, what-" Dean was cut off when the breath rushed from his lungs as he collided with the very solid wall behind him. Castiel instantly regretted his actions as he watched Dean wince in pain but didn't move his arm, which was restricting Dean's movement.
Dean's face was filled with a confusing mixture of emotions, from joy to pain to confusion. His eyes were focused on Castiel's, who couldn't decide what he was feeling. He couldn't get any words out as his mind was bombarded with so many thoughts and feelings.
The mere seconds that had passed felt like hours to Castiel, who felt something in the pit of his stomach that confused him more than anything. There was a small tug that seemed to be begging Castiel to move forward, closer to the boy in front of him. That feeling was something so utterly human that his instincts had kicked in as Castiel was too confused to act upon it himself.
And then his lips were pressed against Dean's, moving on their own accord. It took a few moments for Castiel's mind to catch up to what he was doing and he pulled back in surprise, with the help of Dean pushing him back. He saw an equal look of shock in the green eyes staring back at him.
Dean watched Castiel take shaky breaths, eyes looking anywhere but at him. Dean knew he should have felt disgusted, that what had happened was wrong. But he knew there was no way he could feel that way towards the boy standing in front of him. His hair was slightly messed, ruffled from the wind which had suddenly picked up around them, the look of confusion on his face, flushed with embarrassment, the way he bit his lip slightly as if trying to grasp what exactly he had just done.
He was too attractive for his own good and Dean couldn't help his hands from tangling themselves in Cas's shirt, pulling him back in and slamming their lips together.
Castiel's hands found Dean's shoulders and pulled him closer as Dean's did the same with his neck. Castiel was shocked with the shudders of electricity running through his body, the same as each time he had brushed against Dean before, but amplified a thousand times over.
His thoughts had flown out the metaphorical window, and there was nothing he could focus on that wasn't Dean. The way his hands rubbed against his neck, the taste of the inside of his mouth, the way his lips moved so perfectly that if he were human, his knees would have given out in sheer joy. There wasn't a single ounce of his attention that wasn't on Dean, until he felt something twitch in his back.
At first he ignored it, barely feeling it, until he almost cried out in pain, breaking the kiss that he never wanted to end. Dean looked at him with glazed eyes, confusion once again starting to fill them. Cas tore his gaze from his slightly swollen lips and ran.
He knew what was happening. He hadn't been careful and his wings had begun to break free of their own accord. Thankfully he made it around the corner to the back of the school before he heard his shirt rip from the back and felt the two black appendages form. With a couple of strong flaps, he clumsily reached one of the higher branches of a tree just before Dean ran around the corner.
He brought his wings in front of him, hiding himself from view and giving himself a vague form of camouflage. He peeked out from a small gap between them and saw Dean looking around in a panic. He saw his shoulders visible slump as he realised he wouldn't find Castiel and he turned to leave the way he had come.
Castiel was about to let out the breath he hadn't known he had been hiding when Dean suddenly crouched to the ground and picked something long and dark off the ground. He cursed under his breath as he realised what Dean had found, one of his feathers that must have been shaken loose in the hurry Castiel had been in.
On the ground, Dean's heart picked up, not that it had slowed much from the kiss. He knew it was the same as the feather he had picked up from the thing he was hunting. And that thing had been here.
That thing had been here and who knows where it could be now. What if it was still here? Waiting or hiding?
And where was Cas? Dean felt ashamed for being so forward but he had thought Cas had been fine with it until he ran away.
Again, Dean felt heavy with guilt for whatever he had done wrong.
So now he had two major problems, the winged monster he was after was hanging around the school, and he was gay. For Cas.
Dean wasn't entirely sure which problem he was supposed to deal with, but he knew if the mystery minster was here, it could hurt anyone.
It could hurt Cas.
A/N: Hey guys, sorry yet again this took ages but my internet went down and I went away etc. but I hope you enjoyed it! I hope the kinda plot-twisty thing was okay and I didn't let you down by not revealing the angel thing yet :)