Falling or Flying - Chapter 6
*One Week Previously*
"I'm just saying Dean, it's a theory and we have nothing else to go on," Sam persisted as he and his brother patrolled the hallway of the latest museum they had predicted to be targeted.
"Sam, they don't exist. If they did don't you think Dad would have come up against some and written about them in his journal?" Dean's exasperated reply only annoyed Sam further.
"Do you know how much of the ocean is unexplored? How many species haven't been discovered? Who says the same thing can't happen with the supernatural?" Dean simply rolled his eyes in response.
"Sure, maybe. But angels? I already had this talk with Cas, if they do exist then why would they bother getting off their high-and-mighty asses to bother with us, huh?" He squinted at his younger brother slightly through the darkness and dared him to disprove his statement. Sam shook his head and sighed deeply.
"Just don't disregard it completely okay? I'll even do some research into it, I'll go to the library as soon as I can to try and find some info," Dean muttered a 'sure, whatever' under his breath in reply and continued walking. He was about to change the subject when he was cut off by the sound of a hundred birds coming in to land at once. This of course, would not happen under normal circumstances but of course these circumstances were far from normal. Dean ran forward to the source of the sound and winced as the sharp clatter of shattering glass rang through the air.
Dean rounded the corner into the room the winged figure stood, collecting what seemed to be yet another staff from a display case. Dean hesitated at what he saw, and that half a moment was all the figure needed to make its hurried escape, flapping its wings twice before disappearing completely.
"Son of a bitch," Dean breathed out.
"There's more than one of them," Sam let out a shaky breath as Dean tried to reason why the normally raven black wings could have changed to the auburn ones that had just disappeared before them.
They certainly had their work cut out for them.
x
*Now*
"Shifter, it could be a shifter," Dean suggested as once again, they roamed the halls of yet another museum in the middle of the night. He was getting pissed that this had been going on for weeks and yet they had no real leads. He was tempted to give up but once he was on a hunt, he wasn't exactly going to just give it up.
"After religious artefacts? Sure that makes sense," Sam's voice dripped with sarcasm as he couldn't believe his brother would just disregard his angel theory. He'd done enough research to be pretty confident in what they were up against.
"They're just props, what are they going to do with them?"
"But what if they're not Dean?" This stopped the elder Winchester in his tracks. Some of the most dangerous weapons of Heaven on Earth? He really hoped this wouldn't become a race for them.
"God I hope not," was all he could get out.
"Why don't you just ask Cas, I'm sure he has as good a reason as I do to believe they exist," Sam diverted the conversation to the topic at hand. At the sound of Cas's name Dean grew still once more, "Dean? You okay?"
"Yeah Sammy, I'm fine. It's just, Cas- he-I," Dean stuttered, trying to find the best way to tell his brother about that afternoon's... Surprising events.
"Dean, what happened?" Sam seemed very concerned all of a sudden.
"N-No, nothing bad. We just, we kinda, may have kissed," Dean knew his face was going bright red.
"Oh," was all he got from Sam as a response.
"'Oh'? Can I get a little bit more than an 'Oh' on this?" Dean asked, worried his brother would be disgusted or humiliated about the recent revision of his brother's sexuality. Which Dean still wasn't totally used to, calling himself 100% straight his whole life.
"There's not much to say Dean, I don't mind. What do you think about it?" Dean breathed a sigh of relief at his brother's reaction but felt stumped by the question. It's not exactly like he meant to kiss Cas, was it an accident that Dean jumped too eagerly at? Dean groaned as his head started to hurt with all his over thinking.
"I don't know man, I mean sure, I liked it. It was great, I'm just not so sure whether it was meant to happen," Dean admitted. So he may have been watering down the truth a bit, he more than liked it, he was craving it again even now. He was just so paranoid that he felt like he had made some sort of mistake and screwed everything up between him and Cas. The kid had run away after all.
"So, like it was a mistake?" Sam inferred.
"Maybe, I don't know," Dean avoided his brother's questioning gaze and continued ahead, completely missing the person hiding just within the shadows of the next room, pressed against the wall.
Castiel closed his eyes, attempting to block out the pain that had flooded his mind. Dean thought it was a mistake, and Cas had screwed everything up. There was obviously so much to being human that Castiel had yet to learn and it didn't appear to be coming to him easily. Especially the part about dealing with rejection when it wasn't even to his face. He almost wished he had never heard the brothers coming down the hall and just escaped.
With a sigh, he moved to the display case containing what was supposed to be an interpretation of Lot's Salt. The small rock was supposedly able to turn a human body into salt and Castiel shuddered at the thought of it ever being used in such an aggressive way. He lightly touched the glass casing, causing it to explode outwards, making sure to use his grace to mute the noise that would be sure to alert the hunters who couldn't be far off.
The moment he made contact with the rock, he flew back to Gabriel and Balthazar, leaving it on a table near the front door and once again secluding himself to his bedroom for even more brooding.
x
When Dean first caught sight of Cas at school the next day, memories of their kiss came back all in a rush. He felt his face heat up as the feeling of the wall against his back and Cas against his chest flooded back to him, and how desperately he wanted it to happen again. Then the moment Cas ran away, a panicked look on his face. Dean figured that could only mean he had thought what he was doing was wrong, which he couldn't really blame him for. He almost scoffed at the idea of anything remotely good happening to him, and Cas- Cas was more than good.
As Castiel's blue eyes found Dean's, he truly felt like a love sick 12 year old with his heart beating loudly in his chest. He averted his gaze, worried that if he stared for too long, Cas would confront him. He figured it would be best to ignore their kiss, pretend it never happened and go back to normal. It was better than the alternative of direct rejection, which Dean wasn't sure he could handle.
"Hello Dean," Cas mumbles shyly as he approaches the human, feeling slightly uncomfortable as he remembered the conversation he had overheard the previous night. Dean notices this and takes it as Cas being unsure as to how to admit what happened was a mistake, and therefore decides to pretend nothing happened just so he could have his friend back
"Hey Cas," Dean smiles widely as he claps Cas on the back, looking expectantly at the shorter boy hoping he would accept the lack of conflict. Castiel stared quizzically at Dean, questioning why he hadn't mentioned what must be on his mind, and felt disappointed as he realised it must be passed forgotten by now.
17 years, he thought, 17 years of watching over the boy in front of him and such a short time of truly knowing, to have grown so attached to Dean Winchester. He was well and truly screwed when it would inevitably come time for him to leave, because he would be sure to follow.
Dean tried to keep his breathing at a normal rate as Cas looked up at him with a look of what could be mistaken for adoration, and failed horribly as every breath caught in his throat and a heat filled his core. The small quirk of Cas's mouth accompanied by the crinkling in the corners of his eyes made Dean want to pull Cas towards him, wrap his arms around him and never let go.
"Umm, so do you wanna walk to class together?" Dean coughed quietly to try to cover the heat rising in his face. Cas's face lit up and he turned down the hall to their classroom and looked expectantly at Dean. Dean allowed a small smile to slip through his carefully guarded expression and almost considered linking arms and skipping down the hall because he was so glad he had his Cas back.
They sat together in the room as usual with the chairs, Dean noticed, to be pushed ever so slightly closer together, which he didn't mind at all. Especially when their legs or arms brushed against each other on occasion. In fact, he revelled in the momentary contact with the accompanying sensation of electricity running through his whole being. He realised this may not have been 'normal behaviour' for someone who was definitely not gay towards their best friend -only friend- which freaked him out ever so slightly. But then people who were definitely not gay towards said friend didn't usually make out with them for no particular reason other than it felt right.
Dean caught Cas looking at him from the corner of his eye and automatically grinned in his direction, trying desperately to ignore the butterflies in his stomach erupting as Cas gave him a shy smile in return. He felt like such an idiot for ignoring the kiss from the day before, he wished he didn't have to, but Cas running away like he did had been a serious blow to his ego.
x
At lunch, Dean and Cas seated under a tree outside the school building as the weather was in their favour. Dean with his bagged lunch made that morning and Cas without anything as usual, apparently due to his inability to make anything vaguely edible himself. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and just as Dean was about to start on his homemade hamburger, Cas spoke up.
"Dean, when you asked me if I was a hunter, what exactly did you mean?" Castiel of course knew exactly what he meant, but asked partially because Dean would expect him to know nothing of the subject, and also because he wanted to hear exactly what Dean did from his own perspective. Surely someone such as Dean could not go blindly into a life of hunting without having good reason to.
"Oh right, I was wondering when you were gonna ask about that," Dean mumbled through his mouthful of food. He looked down to the grass below him, contemplating whether or not to give the whole truth or to give a more watered-down version, that would probably scare him a hell of a lot less. He decided he could trust Cas enough to give him the former. "Me and my brother, we're hunters –but not like deer and stuff, I mean of the supernatural. It's kind of like the family business, my dad did it too until he died a few months ago," Dean took a breath, he wasn't used to revealing what he did to other people and raised his eyes to Cas, watching his reaction carefully, who –to his surprise- was taking it all rather calmly.
"I-I'm sorry Dean, about your father I mean. I know what it's like to lose a father, I lost mine not too long ago as well," This surprised Dean, who had never before thought that Cas could have any idea about how he was feeling, when he had gone through the exact same ordeal. Or close enough, as his father probably hadn't been killed on a hunt.
"Thanks Cas, it's alright I guess, I've adjusted well enough. Me and Sammy had been hunting non-stop since he died. The only reason I'm hear is because he begged me to take a break and stay with one of Dad's old friends, Bobby for a while. Guess that didn't really work out seeing there's a hunt here after all," Cas simply nodded in understanding, which Dean was thankful for. He couldn't really deal with the barrage of questions Cas would be sure to throw at him eventually. "Hey, is the invitation to your place still open? For this afternoon? I could tell you some more stuff about this if you want," Dean asked tentatively, hoping he would be able to tell Cas everything he wanted to on his own terms.
"Of course Dean, you are welcome any time," Cas smiled warmly and Dean cursed silently as he felt his face heat up and knew he was blushing like some pre-teen girl. He suddenly felt so guilty for every second of the past week he had spent ignoring that smile, and those blue eyes.
"Cas, I'm sorry for ignoring you last week, we all good?" Dean was never good with apologies and assumed simpler was better. Cas's gaze darted to the ground and back up to meet Dean's gaze, a small smile still visible on his lips.
"Of course Dean," he said, his voice a near whisper that sent shivers down Dean's spine.
x
The next few hours, Dean could confidently say he was happier than he had been in a long time, Cas was back and he hoped to any god that would listen that he wouldn't have to lose him. He dreaded the day he would have to leave, finish the hunt and move on to the next on the other side of the country. He tried not to entertain the idea of staying, it wasn't his style. He was used to moving on as soon as he possible could, but this time, staying seemed like the easier option.
Dean sat even closer to Cas for the last classes of the day, smiling every time he caught his eye. He of course remembered he had kissed the guy the other day, he felt his face heat up as it wondered to places it should never go. He wondered why Cas never brought it up, never even gave him a reason why he ran off after he had kissed back. He wanted to bang his head against a wall it was so confusing and more than anything he wants to kiss Cas again.
But anything good for a Winchester always turns bad in the end.
x
The drive to Castiel's house was silent, but both boys found themselves comforted by the mere presence of the other, though there was a tension threading the air, as Cas worried that Dean would reveal the worst about what he was. Though what could possibly be worse than the knowledge that he was being hunted by Dean already?
Castiel was shocked out of his thoughts as the Impala rumbled to a halt and Dean looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to lead him out and inside the house, as if he hadn't visited as many times as he had. They both exited the car and as Cas opened the front door, he heard Balthazar chastising Gabriel about something he had done at school that day. Castiel simply gave Dean a look that said they do this all the time and lead him to his room. Dean threw himself onto Cas's bed as if it were natural, and by now it probably was, and patted the space beside him that he wasn't sprawled over. Castiel joined him once he had closed the door and shuffled slightly so his side was pressed up slightly against Dean's, shivering slightly at the tingling sensation that ran through it. He closed his eyes, simply wanting to savour the moment until Dean cleared his throat, obviously ready to reveal all.
"My mom, she died when I was four, and Sammy was only six months old," Castiel was shocked at the sudden start, instantly diving into Dean's history which he seemed reluctant to share. He turned on his side as Dean did the same, giving him a better view of the boy's face and the emotion that was already making itself apparent, "I guess that's what started it all, dad said the fire she died in was started by a demon. Dad told me to get Sammy and run and we've never had a real home since then, being on the road hunting non-stop, it's my life now,"
"Did you ever catch the demon that killed your mother?" Cas asked tentatively as Dean took in a shaky breath, trying to hold back the emotions that threatened to spill over in a landslide.
"Yeah, my dad did, killed him but he didn't come back that night. Me and Sammy have been on our own ever since," a small sigh followed and looked into Cas's eyes, who was busy getting lost in the despair-filled green ones beside him.
"You never thought to stop hunting?" The question took Dean by surprise, because no, he had really never even considered stopping.
"Dad always taught me to follow in his footsteps I guess, so no, I never thought that," Dean replied quietly, watching the slight narrowing of Cas's eyes as he looked on, in confusion or questioning, Dean wasn't sure which.
Castiel felt like laughing at himself for ever fearing the boy lying next to him. He felt like wrapping his arms around him and comforting him, like whispering apologies that he could not fix his past, like telling him everything that he had been aching to from their first meeting, and that he cared for him more than he could possibly know. And through some impossibly human instinct that had made him move as close to Dean without him even realising, he felt like kissing him. Kissing him with such care and comfort that Dean would know that he meant the world to Castiel, and more, that he was falling once more, in an entirely different and equally terrifying way.
"I'm sorry Dean," And that instinct took over as Cas leaned his head forward ever so slightly, lips making the lightest contact on Dean's, and holding there, as if asking for permission, feeling the small shock that still sparked every time they touched running excitedly through their contact.
Dean sucked in a sharp breath as his need to press forward took hold, but against everything, he pulled back, fearing he would be making a bad decision, as if by kissing Cas once more, he would be pulled into his world of nightmares. He pulled back, using every ounce of willpower he had, and rolled off the bed, grabbing his bag and standing up.
"Uh- I should probably go now," Dean coughs awkwardly and starts shuffling towards the door, Castiel stands up behind him, attempting to hide his obvious blush of embarrassment and followed Dean to the front door.
"I'll see you at school Dean," Castiel said quietly, Dean simply nodded in response and turned to the Impala as the door closed behind him. As Castiel turned to sulk back in his room, he caught Gabriel watching him, leaning against a wall.
"Humans. Such confusing creatures to live among, am I right?" Gabriel joked, trying horribly to lighten the mood.
"I do not wish to talk about it Gabriel," Castiel replied sharply.
"Hey bro, if there's anything you wanna talk about, I'm here and so is Balthazar, though I'm not so sure he'd be all up to giving advice about 'boy troubles' but we are family," Castiel shook his head at Gabriel' sympathetic look.
"Everything just feels so right around him, Gabriel. I feel like I need to be near him, touching him and then every time I do there's this… spark," Castiel felt exhausted and he didn't want to argue with his brother over Dean.
"Wait, when you say spark are you talking cheesy-romance-novel spark or-"
"I don't understand what a cheesy romance novel is but I mean a literal shock, does it mean something?" Castiel questioned curiously.
"You idiot," Gabriel teased softly, "you'll find out eventually," he turned and left, laughing quietly to himself about the obvious naivety of his brother.
AN: Okay wow I am SO sorry this took so long to update, exams and the end of school is beyond hectic but I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I went back and edited the earlier chapters for grammar and spelling mistakes but there haven't been any major changes. Holidays start in 3 days and from then I'll have almost 3 months to hopefully get more regular updates up! Thank you guys for being so patient! (And please don't be afraid to leave reviews, I love them!) :)