Jane was laid on her side wearing one of Maura's dressing gowns. They hadn't been awake long, exhaustion taking over again as soon as they got into bed. Maura was also laying on her side with her right arm under Jane's neck and her left hand tracing around the tattoo Jane had of Jason's name. Both were awake but both didn't feel like the silence had to be filled. It was enough for both to just lay here with each other.
After a few more minutes of silence, Maura decided to break the silence. "Did it hurt?" She asked, softly.
Jane jumped slightly when she heard Maura's voice. She was so into her thoughts that she never expected Maura to break the silence. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She asked, still twirling the ring that Maura was wearing on her index finger.
Maura smiled and placed a soft kiss just above Jason's name. "Did it hurt?"
"It hurt..." Jane paused for a second to find the right word before continuing, "it hurt good."
"It looks beautiful." Maura whispers. She traces it a few more times before she moves her hand down to rest on Jane's hip. "What were you thinking about?"
Jane shrugged before she turned to her back. "I dunno. Everything."
Maura smiled softly. "Do you want to elaborate on everything?"
Jane looked at Maura. "About us, mostly."
"What about us?" Maura asked, slightly concerned.
"Nothing. It wasn't important." Jane rushed out, trying to turn onto her side again. To face away from Maura.
Maura quickly moved her hand from Jane's hip and placed it on her shoulder, pushing down slightly. Just enough so Jane couldn't actually turn away from her. "It must have been important if you won't even talk to me about it."
Jane sat up and turned around so she was sat crossed legged facing Maura. "What if I told you I thought I was ready?" Jane rushed out.
It took Maura a few seconds to realise what Jane was going on about. "Are you?"
Jane shrugged and dropped her head into her hands, letting out a groan.
Maura sat up and pulled Jane's hands away from her face. "Sweetheart, what's going on in your head?"
Jane shrugged. She knew she had tears in her eyes and it didn't surprise her when she felt one roll down her cheek. "I just want to feel again."
Maura lifted her hand to Jane's cheek so her thumb could brush away the lone tear. "Jane, baby. I won't make love to you because you want to feel something other than what you're feeling now. You need to grief."
Jane's eyes met Maura's. "Not even if I asked you too?" Jane whispered, her voice full of emotion.
Maura shook her head softly. "No. Jane, I love you. I won't make love to you unless you're 100% certain that you want me to. You're not. You're 100% certain that you don't want to feel like this any more. That for just a while you want to forget. It might work Jane, but I'll tell you now, if it did it would only last until you came down from your orgasm, then everything will hit you like a ton of bricks again. Possibly worst than they have now. Do I make sense?"
Jane shrugged before laying back down on the bed. "I guess so." She mumbled. She was pretty sure Maura would refuse once she knew why but she still needed to ask. She just wanted to forget for a while and she thought that it might work.
Maura turned to face Jane. "Jane..." Maura sighed. "...Don't be angry with me."
Jane wasn't angry, far from it. But she didn't know what else she could do to try and forget. She didn't know how to talk to Maura any more. Not about this anyway. She didn't want to hurt her best friend with how much she was hurting, so she got it into her head that she was best hurting alone than dragging Maura down with her. Jane looked at Maura. "I'm not angry at you, Maura." Jane smiled, sadly. "I just feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle. I don't know how to get back to who I was."
"You're still you. But you're hurting right now, you just need to give yourself some time. It's only been a week and three since the funeral." Maura said, laying down on her stomach next to Jane. She pushed up so she was resting on her elbows so she could look at Jane. "How would you feel about going to see someone?"
Jane looked at Maura. "You mean a psychiatrist?"
Maura smiled softly. "I mean someone who can help you more than I might be able to."
"But you just being here is helping me, Maura. I don't wonna talk to some stranger about my son. I had to talk to some stranger after Hoyt just to get back on active duty. I don't wonna go down that road again, Maura." Jane said.
Maura nodded, "okay. It's your choice." Maura lowered her head and kissed Jane softly. "You'll never forget, Jane. But it will get a tiny bit easier every day that passes."
…
A few hour Jane and Maura were in the kitchen. They had spent most of the day in the bed and most off the time they were in completely silence. Letting each other be alone with their thoughts. Jane had insisted a few minute ago that they needed to have something to eat, before sitting down for a another quiet night in watching movies.
"Shall I cook us something or shall we just order in?" Maura asked as she leant against the kitchen island, a glass of wine in her hand.
"How about we just order in?" Jane answered. "We'll have a proper cooked meal tomorrow."
Maura nodded as she took another sip of her wine. "You know where the menu's are. It's your turn to decide what we eat tonight."
Jane nods as she walks over to where Maura keep the take away menus. Pulling them out she didn't know what she fancied to eat. She wanted something simple but she also wanted something to try and thank Maura for all she had done for her.
Maura walked up behind Jane and wrapped her arms around her waist before kissing her shoulder. "I'm just going to grab a quick shower. I won't be long."
Jane nodded before she turned around and watched Maura walk away. "Don't be too long." She shouted after Maura..
…
After Jane had finished ordering the food she grabbed a beer from the fridge and grabbed another glass of wine for Maura for when she was out of the shower. Walking to the lounge she placed Maura's wine on the coffee table before grabbing the remote for the TV. She was just about to sit down on the couch and find a decent film for them to watch when she heard someone knocking on Maura's front door. She knew it wasn't going to be the food, she had only put the phone down less than five minutes ago. She stood up and grabbed her gun from the drawer under the TV. Lately she liked having her gun close by. She was walking towards the door when Maura walked into the room.
"Jane," Maura said softly, "I'll get it."
Jane nodded. She stood back so she could see clearly who was stood at the door when Maura opened it. Still holding her weapon with her hand behind her back. Last thing she wanted was to scare someone.
Maura took one last look over her shoulder at Jane before she opened the door. The first thing she noticed about the women who stood in front of her was that she was dressed in very little clothing. The second thing she noticed was that Jason was the spitting image of her.
"Are you Jane Rizzoli?" The women asked, not in a pleasant tone.
Maura shook her head. "I'm sorry, who are you?"
Jane couldn't get a good look of the women but she heard the tone of Maura's voice and with hearing that, Jane automatically tightened her grip on her weapon. Jane watched in slow motion as the women pushed past Maura, she saw Maura grab the women's wrist as if she was trying to stop her from entering her house. She didn't know how she did it but she managed to get to Maura's side before the women even turn back at Maura. She grabbed the women's arm as she raised it to slap Maura.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Jane warned, still keeping her grip on the women's arm. She glanced at the women before she turned to Maura. "Are you okay?" She asked, concerned.
Maura nodded and dropped the women's wrist. "I'm fine." She whispered.
Jane turned her attention back to the women in front of her. "Who the hell are you?" She asked. She was beginning to regret leaving her gun on the kitchen island.
The women looked at Jane. "You're Jane Rizzoli."
Jane nodded, but still kept a tight grip on the women's arm. "I'm going to ask you one last time, before I get my cop buddies down here to throw your ass in jail for breaking into the chief Medical Examiner's house." Jane took a step closer to the women. "Who the hell are you?"
The women managed to pull her arm away from Jane. She took a few steps closer to Jane so she only a few inches away from her.
Maura closed the front door before placing a hand on Jane's arm. She didn't know anything about Jason's biological mother, as far as her and everybody else was concerned, Jane was Jason's mother. But she couldn't deny that the women who was standing in front off them now was anyone but Jason's mother. "Jane..." Maura whispered.
The women cut Maura off as soon as she started talking. "I'm Jason's mother."