Thanks guys, I appreciate that you also like my silly fics xD

Chapter 2

Meanwhile Jesse was bored going to the Lima edition of Carmel High School and he asked his Mummy to transfer him to McKinley.

"Again?" she sighed. "You did that already two times."

"This time I'll stay, I promise! Rachel is the love of my life!"

"You already said that two times before, too, and then broke up with her."

"Mum. We have written a script together. A script! That's like a crypt but less spooky. Also, I once saw a picture of Rachel in her mother's womb so that means we're totally meant to be. Who else would she show something like that?"

"Doesn't Rachel have two Dads?"

"Yes, but… she also has a mother."

"That makes no sense at all. Are you sure she's human?"

Jesse was about to say yes but closed his mouth. Was he? Because Rachel was strange sometimes. And scary. Not to mention behaved like the world was hers to take… who'd do something like that except aliens who were here to take over the planet?

"Oh. My. God! Now I have another reason to transfer, I have to stop her evil plans!"

And so he did (because his Mummy totally supported his plan to save the world. After all nobody wanted the planet to be taken over by aliens… right!?). Already on the next day because things went fast like that in Glee. He strutted into school like Rachel the day before and grinned at everybody. Unfortunately most students thought he was a spy from Vocal Adrenalin and booed at him. If they didn't they spilled Slushies over him. Strange folks.

"Hey, that slushied boy over there looks like Jesse", Kurt stated. Blaine looked up from his locker and Sam (wearing a red hoodie) looked up from his Japanese cartoon.

"He really does", Blaine said. And just like that Kurt speeded to the new boy. Blaine shut his locker as loudly as he could (to make an impression) and looked at Sam.

"He is so trying to steal Jesse from me!"

"Dude, I thought Jesse is with Rachel?"

"Not much longer, duh!" Blaine rolled his eyes and went to the boys. Sam followed him (duh again) and together they went to the bathroom.

"Blaine, while I help him wash up go look for Rachel", Kurt said.

"No, you go look for Rachel."

"I can wash up without Rachel", Jesse said. Didn't matter though, Kurt and Blaine kept fighting and Sam kept examining the liquid soap. After like ten minutes of discussing Blaine and Kurt turned to Sam and called him in unison. He inconspicuously wiped clean his hand on his jeans.

"Go look for Rachel", they said.

"Where is she?"

"That's what we ordered you to –" Kurt began.

"We don't know and we trust you, our dearest friend, to find out", Blaine quickly said. Sometimes Kurt could be so insensitive!

"Dearest friend?" Sam's face lightened up. Blaine nodded and patted his shoulder, everything, and the blond Bieber fan hurried out of the room.

Back to business. Blaine and Kurt turned to Jesse – who was clean already. He grimaced at them.

"I'm not a baby, you know. I can do things on my own. Also, I'm here on a mission. Last night I found out Rachel is an alien."

Blaine opened his mouth and exchanged a look with Kurt. He, too, seemed to think that Jesse was not only crazy but also stupid. Then again if he thought Rachel was an alien he was more likely to leave her, wasn't he?

So Blaine nodded. "I had this suspicion for a while now, too."

Kurt quickly caught on. "Me too! Let's kill her!" He clapped his hands in excitement.

"Now, that seems a bit harsh. Maybe she's a nice alien. After all she hasn't taken over the planet yet. Maybe she has grown to love us humankind", Jesse said.

"But we can't afford to think too well of her", Kurt said. "It could be a trick to make us feel safe and then – boom!"

Blaine nodded as sincerely as he could. Jesse thoughtfully looked at himself in the mirror.

"We need to have a plan."

Kurt and Blaine nodded and laid each a hand on Jesse's shoulder.

"Let's go somewhere private to think really hard about it", Kurt said.

Jesse agreed.

"Rachel! Miss Berry! Rachel!" Sam called in every hallway he went through because loud calling was the most effective way to find people. He got distracted when he passed the cafeteria and went in to buy goodies. When he saw Finn and Quinn sitting on a table he threw a few on them and quickly ran out.

Most of the goodies he hid safely in his locker. When he shut the door Rachel was standing there, arms crossed and a grim look on her face.

"I'm throwing a party. You are invited."

"Oh, cool!"

"Now why did you run through school screaming my name? I'm your employee; people should never think we're friends!"

"Why? Don't you like to have friends?"

Rachel wanted to say how distracting friends were when you had to practise being a star. But wasn't the reason for her party to make friends? So she faked a smile.

"Okay, I changed my mind. We're friends. Now what's the matter? Do you have a headache? Or problems finding your locker?"

Sam pointed at his locker. "No, this is the right one. I was looking for you because of Jesse. He needs you."

"I know that." Rachel rolled her eyes. "Tell me something new. Did he call you? Have things gone that far? Oh!"

Sam explained to her what had happened. Rachel didn't seem to believe that is was really Jesse who got slushied because well, Jesse didn't attend this school. Or hadn't until today but Rachel didn't know about that. Still she went with Sam to the bathroom but when they entered and no one was there she crossed her arms again and raised her eyebrows.

"Is this a poor attempt of tricking me into making-out? Oh, Sam, I know I'm gorgeous but we work together. It can't go on like that, you have to get over me!"

She stormed out while Sam stared at the door. Damn, she was so arrogant and distant – so yes, yeah, he totally needed to date her!

Also he was a little confused about the bathroom. Had he gone to the wrong one?

Sam spent the rest of the day searching the bathrooms and missed his classes. Rachel spent her classes cursing her good looks that were a gift, yes, but a curse as well. Kurt and Blaine spent it crying over Jesse who had actually talked about some plan and not participated in a threesome making-out session.

Now that everybody was sad enough school ended and they met in the auditorium. Blaine wasn't sad anymore because Kurt wasn't part of the crew so he had Jesse all for himself now.

"Today is all about the music", Jesse said and threw Rachel a strange glance.

"I'm so exhausted", Sam said. "I was running around all day, can't we, like, take a break?"

Jesse and Rachel scowled at him.

"No?" he said.

"You can take a break when you're dead!" Rachel said.

"But I don't want to die."

"Well, then no break, obviously."

Sam pouted so that Blaine encouragingly patted his shoulder. He really liked Sam. He was too naive and oblivious but then again that kind of was part of his charm. Most of the times.

"Have you two practised kissing?" Jesse asked and pointed between them. Blaine shook his head.

"Were we supposed to?"

"No. But it also wouldn't have hurt. Anyway, it's better if you practise here. Right, Rachel?" Jesse pulled out his phone and handled it while Rachel nodded wildly.

"You can sing your love duet now and end with the most amazing, most sparkling, most epic gay kiss in history ever!" she suggested.

"Oh, yeah, no problem." Sam pulled up his hood. "I know all about being gay now."

Blaine chuckled. "How? What did you do last night?"

"You don't even want to know", Sam said as mysteriously as he could. Truth was he had googled it but if he could make Blaine believe he had done something really, really gay and maybe a bit wicked all the better.

"I want to know!" Jesse said. Rachel nodded.

"Me, too! And I'm sorry for earlier, Sam. It's okay if you're into me, I mean, who isn't?" Rachel said.

"Uhm, I'm not", Blaine said.

"Stop lying to yourself, Blaine."

"Wait, what?" Jesse asked.

Sam realised that Rachel was impressed because he was gay now, too. Was that how you got girls nowadays? Sam didn't really understand the concept of girls being attracted to male homosexuality but hey, he'd jump the boat if he had to.

"You two aren't going after my girlfriend, right? You're gay for each other, right?" Jesse asked.

"Yes", Sam said in the same moment Blaine stated "Not in real life, no."

Sam sighed. Blaine truly didn't know anything about getting girls! And that although he actually was gay! Man, what better advantage could one have!?

Jesse was confused. He laid an arm around Rachel but had to admit he couldn't walk around like that. Especially when he got the song lyrics out of his bag and went to the piano to play. At least Rachel jumped onto the piano to watch the boys perform.

Taylor Swift! Sam grumbled. They could at least have chosen a Bieber song, seriously.

"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the other prince,
It's a love story,
Baby, just say yes."

He sang to Blaine and danced around with him, putting all his passion and love and stuff into the performance. Blaine did the same and he was really good. It seemed like he sang that intensely to another guy every day, no big deal, and at the same time he looked at Sam like only girls had looked at him until now. That was really weird. But Sam would be lying if he said he wasn't at least flattered. It didn't even make him less of a man that Blaine was a dude. And in the end they ended up in each other's arms. Sam swayed Blaine around like men in the movies did with the girls after a dance. He felt Blaine's fast beating heart in his arms, held his eyes and leaned down.

Blaine threw his arms around Sam's neck and just when Sam thought how hot they must've looked Blaine kind of slipped through his fingers and fell to the ground.

"Ouch!"

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to… My arms just went flap you know?"

Sam helped Blaine up but the black haired boy glared at him.

"No, I don't know. Next time I'm holding you if you're so weak."

"I'm not weak! I'm working out every day!"

Jesse laughed the loudest. No, wait, he was the only one who laughed. Rachel crossed her arms and demanded a repetition of the whole song.

The problem was Blaine really had meant his words and tried to sway Sam around now. But Blaine was so small and petite! No, Sam had to be the strong holder. He refused Blaine's grip and okay, messed up the song line a little bit but Rachel didn't interrupt so he just went on. When Blaine was beneath him this time Sam kept both his arms around him and breathed into his face. Again Blaine panted and even though Sam was breathless himself he kissed him with all the passion he could master. One of Blaine's hands wandered into Sam's hair and made Sam shiver. He was sensitive there!

"Oh my… okay. Well. Okay", Rachel said. She hopped from the piano and fanned herself. Hot performance! She threw a glance to Jesse who quickly grasped his phone. But just when he was ready to take a picture the two boys separated. Darn!

Sam took a moment to look at Blaine in his after kiss state.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah", Blaine gasped. He gazed at Sam's lips, then cleared his throat and got on his own two feet. He adjusted his shirt and said "Well, you are a good kisser, I give you that much".

"I told you so!"

"Shut up."

To show everybody how cool and sexy he was Sam pulled up his hood.

Rachel applauded. "Bravo! I almost believed you the being in love part. Jesse and I can do it better of course. We show you how to do it right, okay? Blaine, play the song!"

She snapped her fingers while Jesse went to his starting position. The most important thing about a good performance was starting at the right point. He knew that, he had coached Vocal Adrenalin. Then he swirled Rachel through the air, something Blaine and Sam hadn't done. Ha! Who was the better couple here, huuuh?

After the performance Jesse threw Blaine a look. They had talked about a method to find out if Rachel was an alien and maybe should set the plan into action now.

But Blaine hadn't even listened before as Jesse had talked about boring stuff. He ended the song on the piano and disagreed with Rachel's statement about how compared to her and Jesse Blaine and Sam had the chemistry of siblings accidentally dancing together.

"Not true! Blaine and I are so much more hotter and not related at all!" Sam said.

"It's 'much hotter'", Blaine said.

"That's what I just said!"

"Well… there is room for improvement", Jesse said. "But I wouldn't call it sibling chemistry."

"Maybe the sibling chemistry Kurt wants with Finn", Blaine mumbled.

"Okay, Blaine, can I now talk to you in private?" Jesse said. Blaine wasn't he only one who looked bewildered.

"Why?"

Jesse just winked.

"Huh." Blaine threw a clueless glance to Sam and followed Jesse behind the stage. Sam put his hands together and smiled at Rachel.

"So. Finally alone. Do you want to find out how our chemistry is?"

"Not in the least."

"And in the slightest?"

Rachel waggled her head. "If we were to exchange partners Blaine would have to kiss Jesse. I don't think any of them would agree."

"Ha! But you'd want to! I knew it!" Sam pumped his fists and hopped around the stage. Bieber success once again… with a Taylor Swift song, whatever.

Meanwhile behind the stage.

"No, Jesse, we're not taking her blood and bringing it to a lab."

"But how else do you want to find out?"

"Well, not by hurting her!"

Jesse snorted. "Maybe we wouldn't even have to bring it to the lab. If her blood is green we'd knew right away."

"This is your girlfriend we're talking about, are you aware of that?"

"Well, are you aware that she's a vegan? Oh, damn, but that would explain the green blood." Jesse bit his lip and wondered if that was a clever alien trick. Sigh.

From the stage came a cry so they ran back onto it. They had to discover that Sam had fallen off the stage. Rachel held up her hands.

"I didn't do anything this time, I swear. He jumped around and didn't watch his step, I swear."

"Uhu." Jesse gave Blaine a look that said 'Now the alien-meanness is starting' but he ignored it and hurried down the stairs to help Sam get up.

"Is anything broken?"

"Yes. My whole body."

"Your body is okay, Sam."

"Just okay?" Sam managed a cracked smile so Blaine knew he would live.

When rehearsal was over Rachel reminded them of the party she was throwing in the evening. Blaine didn't know of any party so she graciously explained him to just "bring beer or drinks and have fun".

"Maybe when she's drunk she wants to make out with me", Sam said on their way to the doors.

"Oh, you want that?! Cool. I distract Jesse for you then."

"Wow, you're so supportive! You are a true friend, Blaine. Loyal, good-hearted and nice."

"Yeah… I know."

Meanwhile Jesse poked Rachel's arm. Sadly enough it didn't make her bleed, she just hit him.

"What the hell?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see if your blood is green."

Rachel tore open her eyes and sighed. "You really need this party to relax and let loose a little. I have to admit that I had the best idea ever when I thought of it."

"You are pretty cool."

"Yeah… I know."

Blaine arranged to get a ride to the party from the Hummel-Hudson brother's. He'd never call them that when Kurt was around, of course, but he did in his head. So what!? Kurt never had to know.

While still on the phone with Kurt Blaine asked if they could also pick up Sam.

"Why? He's not really our friend. We just allow him to hang out in school because we're nice."

"Oh, come on. He isn't that bad. And he'd want to drink but can't when he has to drive."

"Well, I have to ask Finn. I'll write you a text then, bye."

He hung up. Blaine shrugged and continued getting ready for the party. He was really excited because he just knew it would be good. Alcohol and hormonal induced teenies? Always a good combination.

Eventually Kurt wrote Finn was okay with picking up Sam so Blaine called the blond boy to ask if he was in.

"Really? Is this real, Blaine? Finn as in Finn Hudson, the boy who stole my girlfriend from me?"

"Uhm…" Oops, Blaine hadn't thought it through. "I can just tell him forget it."

"No, it's awesome. I just thought he hated me. Thanks Blaine, you're a good friend."

"Stop saying that. I'm just a normal friend."

"No, you're extraordinary. I mean, did Kurt think of me? No. But you did."

"Yeah, well, you can't really blame Kurt…"

…or call him a friend for that matter…

"I don't blame him. But I blame you for being awesome. Okay, gotta go. I'm thinking about not wearing a hoodie but I'm not sure yet."

"Do you even have other clothes?"

"Yes, Blaine. Some. I just can't decide…" Sam sighed.

"Well, you still have one hour."

"WHAT? ONLY?"

"Uhm, calm down! Sam, stop screaming and breathe!"

Still, Blaine only heard rustling and screams on the other end. He started to worry. When there was a sign of Sam again Blaine quickly said: "I'm almost ready, if you want I can help you chose an outfit."

"You… I…. why do I even live, Blaine?"

"Just tell me your address and I'm coming over. Finn can pick us both up from your house."

"Wait, are you serious?"

"Yes? Why not?"

"Because… that'd be beyond awesome. That would be… I don't know, super-duper-fantastic. But why are you doing this for me?"

"I'm your friend, Sam, that's why. I'm sure people did things for you before."

"No, not really."

"Oh… that's sad."

"Is it? I don't know. Just hurry then, man, I'm starting to think that pink Shirt looks kind of good."

"I'm on my way!"

Of course Jesse came over before everybody else to help Rachel set up the basement. They put a table down here and….

"Done!" Jesse wiped his hands. "Man, working is easy!"

LeRoy and Hiram, Rachel's Dads who had actually carried the table, shot him a disapproving glance. Somehow Jesse didn't care about it and went to sit on a couch.

"Are you sure about that one, Rachel?" Leroy asked. She said yes and sent them upstairs, never to return again. Or, well, at least not for the night.