A/N: Warning - Jacob comes off a little perverse in this chapter. Do not fear, Edward will take care of him. This chapter goes out to Eleen who sent me random fairy tale titles over MSN as asked. Also, thanks to Eleen and xbitemex for the beta. You two are perverted! Read and review? Especially review. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

All The Better

"Don't even think about it."

"Stop prying into my head!"

"Who needs mind powers when I have my trusty crossbow and dagger?"

"If you don't point that thing away from me, I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your little girlfriend away!"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, I would."

Edward growled as he kept the point of the arrow that was laid upon the crossbow aimed at Jacob's heart.

"If you take one more step towards her, this is one hunter who shall show you no mercy." He whispered, his voice smooth like black velvet.

Bella, who had been silent this whole time, propped herself up on her toes so she could see over Edward's shoulder.

"Jacob, what big arms you have." She murmured in amazement.

Bella knew that werewolves grew at an abnormal pace, but this was credulous. He was beginning to look like a giant.

"All the better to hold you with, my dear." Jacob crooned, staring at Edward rather than Bella, knowing that his comment would rile him up.

"Jake, what big teeth you have…"

"If the word 'eat' escapes your foul lips, I'll pull this trigger faster than you can blink." Edward warned, his eyes narrowing into slits.

"All the better to… Uh," Jacob halted, trying to think of an answer. "All the better to leave bite marks on you with, my dear!"

"Jacob, what big eyes you have." Bella continued, staring absently into his dark brown orbs.

"All the better to undress you with my dear."

"Now you've gone too far." Edward stated, his finger the weight of lead as it began to pull the trigger.

"And Jacob, what a big tail you have!" Bella exclaimed, noticing for the first time that a bushy, russet tail was swinging side to side behind him.

"All the better to-"

"Oh, will you two stop already?" Edward shouted, whipping a dagger out of his belt. "I know one thing that isn't so big…" He smirked as he lowered the point of the arrow about two feet.

"That's it! Huffety Puffety!" Jacob choked out. "I may not have eaten her Grandmother, but I will have her!"

Jacob took a bounding leap through the air, his mouth opened wide.

When he almost reached them, he fell to the ground, a tiny trickle of red spraying out of his abdomen.

After a small groaning noise, there was silence.

Slinging the crossbow across his back, and sheathing the dagger, Edward breathed a sigh of relief.

Walking over to him, Edward kneeled down and pulled the arrow out of his enemy.

"Well, it wasn't through the heart, but it'll have to do."

Getting up, he held his free hand out to Bella, who took it gladly. Without wasting any time, the two of them began sprinting through the forest, Bella's red cape flying out behind her.