Sacrifices

Chapter Six:

Reunions

The only family that ever horrifies you is your own.

Doug Coupland

"Still ba feel bout is, Mamma," Leia said putting her hands on her hips. Padmé groaned and rested her forehead against the controls of the stalled ship. She tried to ignore the semi-imagined note of 'I told you so' that laced the child's voice. It was just the latest in a long line of frustrations that had infested her life over the last twelve hours.

Obi-wan had lied to her, had looked her in the eyes and told her that Anakin was dead. For three years he had let her think...

But Anakin was not dead. He had survived the duel with Obi-wan...survived to become Darth Vader. That was the most confusing part of it all, the part that was the least likely. She had heard of Vader and the atrocities that monster had committed. It didn't make any sense that he and her Ani could be the same person... But then again hadn't she thought the same of him when she had first heard of him falling? Before Mustifar. Before he had tried to stran—just before everything?

After hearing the truth she had locked herself in her room and would not talk to anyone, not even the children. Eventually, Obi-wan and Ahsoka retired, knowing that there was nothing they could do or say to fix their mistake and assuming she would just cry herself to sleep.

In hindsight, Padmé had known deep down that it had been a bad idea to run. What could she do? Beyond the challenge of taking care of three extremely force-sensitive children alone, almost everyone that knew she was alive was back on Mire and, since her death had been faked, she had little resources outside of what Bail Organa provided.

One thing was for sure, as much as she wanted it, as much as everything within her screamed for Anakin, she was not foolish enough to seek out Vader. She could not risk her children like that.

Padmé got up from the cockpit and rubbed a hand through Leia's hair before walking to the engine room where Luke and Lori stood staring at the sputtering mass of metal.

"Any idea what's wrong?" No other person in the galaxy would take engineering advice from toddlers but in all likelihood they were already better mechanics then Padmé had ever been.

Luke's face screwed up in concentration.

Lori looked over at him, eyes wide, and smacked him on the shoulder. Padmé reached out to intervene, as she usually had to when Luke and Leia started fighting, but the look on Lori's face stilled her. This reaction wasn't born out of simple annoyance.

"Luke! Sho said tiny. Always tiny."

Luke looked down, understanding what Padmé did not but she didn't have time to ask. Lori turned and pointed to a single component nestled deep in the tangled mess.

"Broked." she pronounced and Padmé groaned.

Of course. Hadn't Ahsoka mentioned Rex needing to get parts for the ship. If the Shilo pins had been just cracked before take-off the engine would still be able to get them into hyperspace but, once the pins buckled under pressure and actually shattered, they were screwed. Padmé had been lucky to get enough warning to manually pull the ship out of hyperspace before things really got ugly.

They were going to have to land and get it fixed. There was no other way.

Padmé walked back to the cockpit, the children following, and looked at the navi computer, trying to find a safe place to land, a place that was close enough but still had a relatively low imperial presence. No such luck. The only place for almost a parsec was...

Her blood ran cold. Of all the places for them to be stranded it had to be the middle of the Chommell sector. She quickly did the math in her head, trying to find another option. Something. Anything. The next closest planet was Tatooine but covering that distance with only the sublight engines would take far too long. They would run out of supplies well before anyone could come to help.

She let out a string of curse words as her heart constricted. Naboo was her home and she had missed it. More then that though, she missed her family. It had killed her to fake her death, to hurt them so, and yet to be so close and unable to see them would be complete torture.

And, of course, there was the fact that she was an extremely recognizable figure, even before her death. Being seen could only bring about disaster for she had little doubt that if Palpateen had spy everywhere, his home planet had to be infested.

But she had no choice. Maybe with a good enough disguise, it would be enough. It would have to be.

The dark is generous but there were days when Darth Vader was sure it wasn't generous enough. In truth though it would never be enough. The nightmares still came, haunting him, teasing him with what might have been and yet could never be. Worse then that, the cold embrace of the dark didn't keep what was left of that fool Skywalker from noticing little things during the day that mirrored his hellish nights.

Like that boy. It had been a simple enough choice to take him away from the smoldering ruins of his home. Not many had the strength to call a lightsaber right out of the hands of a Sith Lord and one so young was exceptionally rare. He would make a fine tool once he had been properly molded and forged in the powers of the dark side.

And yet the ghost of Skywalker kept noticing things about the boy that unsettled the Sith lord, the most disturbing was the fact that, as well as being as powerful as Vader imagined a blood child of his would be, he was approximately the same age it would have been. The boy wasn't of course, but the parallels were still there.

It was a torturous, dangerous thought, but one Vader could not vanquish.

In another life, when prophetic nightmares and stressful days proved too much for his weak mind, he would attempt to find solace in meditation, something he had rarely done before. Although he had promised that he would not, he had, just once, looked in on the sleeping from of his child. He had not allowed himself to detect the sex —that would have been too far outside the bounds of his word—but he had basked in it's force presence just that once.

It had been one of the few truly innocent creatures, second in luminous beauty only to one being in the entire galaxy.

And Vader had killed them both. It was all Kenobi's fault. He had turned his angel against him, twisted her mind until she was no longer the woman he loved. Vader had then been relatively untried in the dark arts; he had not yet known how to control and channel his burning anger rather then letting it get the best of him.

He had been sure she had been alive when he let go of her windpipe; the force had still hummed with both her strength and that of the child's. If Kenobi had just died when he was supposed to, not only would Vader not be in this wretched suit, but he would have been able to go back for her; he would have been able to save her and they would all rule the galaxy together. As a family.

He let the anger and hatred simmer as he stared out into the blackness of space. His subordinates knew better then to bother him unless it was necessary and soon his passion became a cold, all-consuming burn that lead the way to a sublime meditation.

Time was different in the force and yet it seemed only moments from when the darkness warped itself around him and the moment a bright force presence flashed just long enough to push back the darkness with it's blinding, burning light.

It was young, relatively untrained and powerful. But more then that it was familiar. It called to Vader's very being as if it had a direct line to his blood.

He debated with himself. There were places he swore not to go. His pain may only strengthen the dark side, but there were lines even he was not willing to cross—Vader had still been in surgery as they had laid his angel to rest and perhaps that was something of a blessing; he had not been back since.

And yet that presence...it was a foolish hope, one he would not let himself consciously form, but perhaps there was a reason it called to him so...paragraph...

Regardless, it was the sign of a powerful force user, one that would have to be dealt with.

"Captain," he said into his comlink, "set course for Naboo."

Lori thought the world was pretty. There were a lot a trees but it wasn't a forest. In a forest there the trees were so tall she couldn't see the sky or the clouds and it was hot and sticky. But here was the prettiest place she had ever seen because there were just enough trees to be pretty and she could see the sky.

But the place hurt her mommy. It made her a little happy and a lot sad and Lori didn't understand why. Lori could see that her mommy had been here before. She had liked it as much as Lori did, maybe more, and missed it terribly, but she was frightened of something.

Lori wanted to help her Mommy but she didn't know how. She wished really, really hard that she knew a way to make her Mommy less sad.

Something inside Lori tugged at the bottom of her tummy. Aunt Sho called it the Force and said that Lori should always listen to what it told her because it would always be smarter then her or even her mommy. Her mommy was one of the smartest grown-ups Lori knew (Uncle Obi, Aunt Sho, and Uncle Rex were all smart too, buy mommy was a special kind of smart) and so if the Force was smarter then it would have to be REALLY smart.

It told her that there was something that could help her and it was close, but Lori might have to do something a little bit naughty. Her mommy told her to stay on the ship with Luke and Leia while she talked to another grown-up about fixing the ship, but the Force told her to go down the street. If the Force was smarter then her really-smart mommy, and if it was going to make her mommy less sad, Lori thought it would be okay not to do what she was told...just this once.

Luke and Leia were to busy arguing about who's turn it was to play with the toy starfighter so they didn't see her slip out the back of the ship. She made herself really tiny in the Force like Sho told her to. No grown-ups tried to bother her as she walked out the space port and onto the street.

There weren't a lot of people around, but that was okay. After a few moments Lori saw two girls walking down the street. They weren't really grown-ups, but they were really older then Lori. They had bags on their backs so Lori figured they were at least old enough to go to school.

They were calling to her almost like Luke and Leia did, but it was much much quieter. Like a whisper. The Force told her to follow them so Lori did.

She stayed hidden behind the bushes as they walked up to a pretty house with plants growing up the walls. A grown-up lady opened the door and smiled at them, asking how their day was. Lori didn't know what to do. The Force told her to keep following them but mommy AND Sho AND Obi had all told her not to go into strangers houses unless they were there with her and said it was okay. But Sho said the Force was smarter then all of them and it was telling her it was okay so...

"Ryoo, Pooja, who's that?" The lady asked the girls and pointed at Lori peaking out from behind the hedges.

They told their mommy that they didn't know who Lori was and that they hadn't seen her following them. Lori was proud that she was able to be so sneaky but she didn't let herself get to proud. Uncle Obi said that that wasn't the Jedi way...whatever that meant.

The lady came up to her and stooped down so that they were about the same height. She seemed nice and looked a lot like her mommy.

"What's your name?" she asked, smiling at her.

The lady reminded Lori of her mommy a lot but she wasn't as sad. Her mommy was always sad even when she pretended she wasn't. The Force tingled in her tummy again and she realized that the lady reminded her of her mommy the same way Luke reminded her of Leia. Her mommy and the lady must be sisters! But wouldn't her mommy have said something?

"I'm Lori. What's your name?" she asked, excited.

"You can call me Miss Sola. Why were you following my girls?"

Lori knew that she couldn't tell Aunt Sola about the Force. Aunt Sho said it was a really big secret and that she couldn't ever tell anyone...but that didn't mean she had to lie and you don't lie to family. Ever.

"It's pretty here. I was just looking but got lost."

"Where are your parents?"

"Daddy's dead and Mommy's with the space ship. It broked." Lori explained.

Aunt Sola looked confused and a little worried. Why would she be worried? Mommy said the ship could be fixed and even if no one else could, Lori knew that she could fix it...maybe with just a little help from Luke.

"And your mommy didn't notice you walking away?"

Lori shook her head. "Luke and Leia started fighting."

"So your mother's at the spaceport?" Lori nodded and Aunt Sola turned to look at the girls. "Why don't you go inside and begin your assignments? I shouldn't be long."

Aunt Sola took her and walked her down the road. They talked a bit; she would ask Lori questions about Luke and Leia and if they fought all the time. Lori told her they did but only about little things.

Lori really liked Aunt Sola because she didn't talk to her like she was a baby, like most grown-ups (not family grown-ups like Uncle Rex and Uncle Obi and Aunt Sho, but stranger grown-ups) did. She was really nice too and Lori couldn't wait until her mommy saw her. Then she would be happy and not sad anymore.

The moment her mommy turned to look at Aunt Sola, Lori knew she had messed up somehow but she didn't understand why. Aunt Sola was really surprised to see her mommy, but it wasn't a good surprise like the kind Lori could unwrap. This was the bad kind like that time when mommy's cooking made Uncle Obi really sick because he was al-geric to it and mommy didn't know.

"Padmé?" Aunt Sola whispered so quietly it almost sounded like she was just breathing.

Lori's mommy looked around, almost as if she was afraid someone would hear. Like her name was some big secret that no one was supposed to know...not even Aunt Sola.

"Lori, get on the ship." She said her voice sounded kind of mean and hurt.

"But—"

"I said now, Lormé!" She snapped and Lori was knew she had really messed up. Mommy didn't call her that unless she really was in trouble and she never NEVER yelled at her like that.

But more then that, Lori could tell that it hurt her mommy to see Aunt Sola. She was happy, but sad and mad and confused and worried and a whole bunch of other bad things.

She didn't know why her mommy was so upset, but she did know bringing Aunt Sola here was a really bad thing. All she had wanted to do was fix it and make her mommy happy but something went really, REALLY wrong. Lori didn't know why or how, but the Force (and how mad her mommy was) told her she had broken something really important; something she didn't know how to fix.

All she wanted to do was hide; she didn't even cry when she fell down when she ran up the ramp. She just got up and kept going until she reached the engine room. Lori squeezed herself behind the compressor coils and pulled her knees up close to her chest and started rocking back and forth.

Luke and Leia knew she was upset but she would not talk to them, even in her mind. She just put her fingers in her ears and hummed, trying to pretend it didn't happen. That she hadn't broken everything.

After a while Lori heard steps coming closer to her and she knew that they were from a grown-up.

Her mom stooped down and Lori to back up more but the wall was in the way. Lori pushed her head into her knees. She knew her mommy was mad but she didn't want to get yelled at again.

"Oh Lori, what did you do?" her mommy whispered and her voice sounded really soft and nice, like it did when she was trying to sing away Lori's nightmares.

"I'm sorry," Lori said, giving her mommy a big hug and burying her face into her shoulder. "I was just trying to fix you."

There had been many days when Padmé had wished for exactly this; that by some twist of fate she could be reunited with the family she had lost, that she would be given a chance to hold her mother or confide in her sister again after she had been forced to fake her death. But now that it was actually happening, at least partially, she would do anything to take it back.

And yet here she was at Valakino, a place that was almost sacred to her and yet a place she never wanted to return to. The images it brought up seared themselves into her mind; Anakin, looking so hansom in his jedi robes and padawan braid as they exchanged wedding vows; the way the gentle moonlight shown across his face as the made the most of the few days of leave he got from the war; and of course there was the memory of the other world seared into her brain—the world in which she actually had everything she had wished for.

It was also one of the only places they could talk freely. Padmé couldn't risk being seen and at this time of year most of the staff would have been given leave.

Padmé powered down the ship the moment it hit the landing pad and took a deep, steadying breath. She had spent the last hours going over just how much she could and would tell her sister. As much as she hated lying, it would be both impossible and irresponsible to tell Sola everything, and yet there was no way her older sister would let her get away without explaining something.

It had been a hard ruse to come up with but it just might work. Sola only knew about Lori and Padmé wasn't going to change that. The children were going to stay in the cabin and if it was required, she would bring out Lori and not the others.

It would be bad enough if the Emperor and Ana-Vader knew she was alive, then they could even suspect that a child existed as well, but they could not know about all three. Back when she was still naive enough to think she would get her happy ending, she had told her medical droid not to tell her anything about the child that wasn't necessary. She had wanted the gender to be a surprise and, she supposed, the droid took that as an order not the reveal the number of children as well.

"Children," she said, looking in on them quietly playing. Padmé didn't get a chance to finish when a rough, static voice came over the intercom.

"This is a restricted area. Come out with your hands up or we will use deadly force."

Padmé turned to the children, her mind going through every option she could think of which was, admittedly, not many. She could not run; the ship would take far too long to cycle back up.

"Hide," she hissed, not bothering to sooth the worry they could feel roiling off her in waves. There was only one option. Maybe if she cooperated she could talk her way out of it. Maybe.

She walked quietly down the ramp, forcing herself to at least look calm and nonthreatening as she approached the troopers. Her senator's mask must have been a little rusty form Years of unuse because the small army of stormtroopers at the end of the ramp didn't even give her a chance to open her mouth. The moment she had descended down a blaster was shoved into her shoulder blades and she couldn't' assume it was set for stun.

Padmé stared straight ahead, willing herself not o look back and give the troopers a reason to search her ship, as they marched her down the dark hall until they got to the atrium.

Nothing could have ever prepared her for the sight. Bodies of what she could only assume to be the staff were strung everywhere like discarded leaves after an Autumn storm. Some had been shot, some had been sliced through with a lightsaber, and some looked as if some great force had thrown them across the room.

"M'lord?" A trooper called and the sinister, black clad figure stood, his only movement a slight twitch of his hand, letting his last victim fall. Sola's lifeless body the floor with a broken thud, eyes open and staring directly at Padmé.

She let out a horrified scream and Vader turned.

"Padmé?" he said but whatever emotion he was feeling (if he could feel at all) was obscured by the vocalizeer.

When she had first over heard Obi-wan and Ahsoka talking, she had thought that maybe her Ani wasn't dead, that maybe Obi-wan just hadn't been willing to see the good in him after the temple, but now she understood the truth. Anakin was dead and this sadistic, twisted monster had taken his place.

Padmé's eyes never moved from Sola's as the horror and shock took over as her stomach lurched in terror. This was her fault. It was all her fault. If she hadn't come to Naboo, if she hadn't run from Obi-wan...

And if Vader could do that to Sola then...oh goddess! The children. They were in the ship. How was she going to...

He took a small step forward as if to touch her and instantly she recoiled. His black gloved hand clutched into a fist and for a moment she was afraid he would choke her like he had before...and like he had Sola, but he didn't.

His hand dropped to his side and he just stood there silent but for the horrible rhythmic sound of his breathing.

A small flicker of movement brought her attention to the open door just to the right of the massacre. She did not move her eyes—she could not call Vader's attention to it—but there, just a few meters down the hall was a very familiar face, one that had been imprinted on both her best dreams and worst nightmares. Canaan.

Maybe, if she could somehow tell him what was happening he could get the children off world before Vader got to them. She would gladly stay behind as a distraction if that's what it took to keep Vader and his master from hurting her kids. But how was she to tell him without alerting Vader to the plain?

Vader head jerked slightly, looking over her shoulder. He took another step forward and, as odd as it seemed, he was trembling slightly.

Padmé's stomach sank just before she heard the one thing that tore through her heart at the implications of what it would bring.

"Momma?"