Spoilers: Up to 5x12 but Santana and Rachel never fought.
Disclaimer: Characters not mine but mistakes are. I just needed my Faberry after the 100th episode.
Kurt enters through the door and he had to take a double take to make sure he's in the right apartment.
Drawers are left open, papers unstacked. There are disheveled clothes everywhere and tables are slightly moved. He almost thought they were robbed until he heard Rachel pacing, going from drawer to drawer, checking every inch of the house and muttering expletives he didn't even know existed in the English language.
"Rachel, honey, what is all this mess?"
Rachel was looking under the bed and turned her head abruptly that she hit the bedpost.
"Ow! Hi Kurt! I didn't hear you come in." she stood up and rubbed her forehead with her hand.
"What are you looking for and why is it so important that you had to practically destroy our place?" Kurt discreetly glanced at his room and breathed a sigh of relief that it remained the way it is when he left this morning.
"I-uh, just looking for something. I'm not sure I remember where I put it."
"Clearly." Kurt muttered with a roll of his eyes. "Come on, tell me what it is so I can help you find it and we can restore this place to its full glory."
Now it's Rachel's turn to roll her eyes. And they say I'm the dramatic one. She sighed and sat on her bed, playing with her hands. "It's kind of ridiculous."
Kurt walked towards Rachel and put his hand on her shoulder while his other hand lifted her chin to look her the the eyes. "Is something wrong?"
Rachel gave him a grateful smile and gently pried Kurt's hand from her chin. "No, everything's fine. I'm just trying to look for the Metro passes Quinn gave me."
"Why would that be ridiculous?"
"Because I suddenly felt the need to see her?"
"Quinn's your friend, it's perfectly alright to miss her." He waved his hand dismissively and proceeded to walk out of the room. "It's in that box where we put our yearbooks and other high school pictures." He said as he started picking clothes up and moving the tables back.
x
Rachel never felt this nervous before.
She's on a train to New Haven and in two hours or less and she can't stop shuffling her feet and there's that unsettling feeling on her stomach that she couldn't shake off. She thought of blonde hair and perfect cheekbones and hazel eyes and how they seem to pierce through her with how intense they are. What is it about Quinn anyway? It's been a while since they saw each other and she felt that Quinn would think it's odd that she suddenly wants them to be closer. She doesn't know why she needs to keep her close, all she knows is that after what happened that back in Lima, with how Quinn's arms were wrapped around her, she knows she wants to feel it again.
She knocks on Quinn's door and silently prays that she knocked on the right one. She'll kill Santana if this goes horribly wrong.
She waits for a few seconds and there was no response. What if she's still asleep? It's a bit early and it's a weekend anyway. She inhaled and composed herself, and decided to knock again.
The door opened and she's met with a tall blonde with a familiar angelic face but with sleepy eyes that immediately widened when she saw Rachel.
"R-Rachel! Hi! What are you doing here?" she wrapped her arms around Rachel and stepped back, allowing Rachel to come in.
Rachel couldn't really think of any excuse or reason why she came. "Um, do you want to have coffee with me?"
Quinn's eyebrow arched in question and amusement, but she smiled at the request. "Give me a few minutes to get ready and we'll go."
x
"So, I'm sure you didn't go all the way here just to taste New Haven coffee." Quinn said as they entered a small coffee shop near her dorm. She opened the door for Rachel and removed her scarf when they got inside.
"I'm sorry for showing up all of a sudden. I should have called or texted first."
Quinn put her hand on Rachel's shoulder gave her a warm smile. "Rachel, it's fine. I'm really glad to see you."
With the way Quinn is smiling at Rachel, she can't help but smile back.
x
Quinn decided to pay for the coffee and led her to a park just near the university. They sat on an empty bench, watching the people pass by.
"Are you ever going to tell me why you're here?"
Rachel put down her cup and played with a strand of her hair. "I don't… really have a reason. I just missed you, I guess."
"Well, I'm glad. You should keep missing me so you'd come here more often." Quinn said with a light laugh.
Rachel joined in with the laughter and playfully swatted Quinn's hand. "Yeah, I'll come here more often, that's for sure. So how have you been?"
"I'm good. Do you know everyone at school is calling me a dirty little slutbag now? I swear that Biff is so butthurt he keeps telling everyone what happened."
Rachel never really liked that guy. Who the hell calls their son Biff anyway? For someone so rich you'd think they'd come up with a better name. "I'm really sorry about that. Do you want me to beat him up?"
Quinn snorted. "You're like, half his size."
"I resent that. I can be menacing when I want to."
"I'm sure. I'll be sure to call you if he ever needs some beating up."
"I'm surprised this isn't bothering you at all."
"What, it's not like you'd actually hurt him."
"No, not that. I was talking about you people talking about you."
"It did bother me at first. But it's college, by next week they'd find someone else to talk about and I'll be old news."
"For what it's worth, he has a really stupid name."
Quinn burst out laughing at that.
x
The next time she comes to New Haven, she stayed the night.
She was worried. She didn't know if they're at that level of being friends that they can share a bed. But she hit the pillows and it smelled like Quinn and she forgot why she was worried in the first place.
She made pancakes the next morning, and even learned how to cook some meat for Quinn. It's the least she could do for letting her sleep with her, in the most literal sense of sleeping with someone.
x
Rachel wasn't sure if it was possible to miss someone more than you did the last time you saw them, but she figures that's what's happening to her. Everytime she goes back to New York on a Sunday all she thinks about is the coming Friday and what movie they are going to watch or what they are going to do. Kurt has lightly teased him about it, playfully telling her that Quinn is stealing his best friend, but thinks that it's really nice they kept in touch.
So she found herself taking spontaneous trips on weekdays, mostly Tuesdays, because her classes end early and she knows Quinn's Tuesdays are free. It's silly, because they'll see each other on Friday anyway, but sometimes phone calls just aren't enough, and sometimes you don't really need a reason to do something.
She practically had New Haven memorized, and she realized she's always the one going her to see Quinn, but Quinn hasn't come to New York yet ever since this started. She thought of taking Quinn to Central Park and that vegan restaurant that she, Kurt, and Santana has come to love. She thought that Quinn would sure hate New York because of how noisy it is.
x
They are again sat on the bench, watching people. This has become their thing.
"So I was thinking."
Quinn turned to look at Rachel. "Hm?"
"You never come to New York."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, ever since I first came here to visit you, it has always been me going here, but you never going to my turf."
Quinn raised her eyebrow. "Turf, huh?"
"Yup. My place, my hood, my turf."
Quinn let out a hearty laugh. "Is Santana rubbing off on you?"
Rachel huffed at that. "So, are you going to tell me why?"
Quinn grew serious and looked at Rachel. "Okay. I'm sorry for not going to New York. It just didn't really cross my mind, you know? You always come here, so I figured that's how it is. But I'd gladly go if you want me to. It'd be nice to see Kurt and Santana."
Rachel's eyes lit up and clapped her hands in excitement. "Really? So you'll go next week?"
"If you promise not to say the word 'turf' again."
x
Rachel was practically running, with Quinn in town, on their way to the apartment.
"Quinn! You're looking as beautiful as ever." Kurt went for a hug.
"Hi, Kurt. It's so nice to see you guys." she pulled away and turned to Santana.
"Come on Santana, gimme a hug." Quinn stretched out her arms and wiggled her fingers.
"Not a chance, Q. But yeah, nice to see you and all that."
"You guys have a really nice place."
"Yeah, well Rachel spent all week cleaning it." Kurt told her as he went to take her bag, putting it on Rachel's room.
Rachel blushed and looked down to stare at her feet. "I just wanted to make a good impression."
"And you have, although unnecessary. Come on, you promised you'd take me on a tour."
x
To say that Quinn was tired would be an understatement.
When Rachel said she'd take her on a tour, she should've expected that she isn't going to do it half-assed. They walked around the city the whole day and her feet are killing her. She flopped on the couch and kicked her feet to get rid of her shoes, and settled them on top of the coffee table. Rachel sat beside her and pulled her legs, putting them on her lap and started massaging it.
"Did you have fun?"
"I am so tired, but yes, I really had fun."
"So I take it you'll come to New York more often?"
"Maaaaybe."
Rachel looked at Quinn, her head was leaning back against the sofa and her eyes are closed, and Rachel thought she'd never seen anything as beautiful. She observed Quinn's long eyelashes, her nose, her beautiful blonde locks, her perfect cheekbones, her jaw, and that's when she realized.
She has a crush on Quinn Fabray.
She shouldn't be surprised, really. She has always found her beautiful. She must've had a crush on her a long time ago, with how obsessed she was to be somewhat close to her, to get to her. And she's always found it fulfilling whenever Quinn thanks her for something that she's done for her. It's stupid, she should've seen it, it was there all along.
She doesn't know what to do with this newfound discovery of hers. She's scared. This whole becoming close thing is still new for the both of them and she doesn't want to complicate things. But she melts every time Quinn smiles at her and she dies a little inside whenever Quinn opens doors for her, and she really loves hearing Quinn laugh.
That night she didn't really get much sleep.
x
Rachel decided not to think too much about it, and just enjoy their time together. Sometimes she would take Quinn out on a dinner (not a date). Sometimes they're with Santana, or Kurt, or both. Sometimes it's just the two of them. They would talk about school or how Rachel's fathers are. Quinn would talk about her mother, how it's ironic that she and Judy had gotten closer when she left Lima, but she's glad that they're finally okay.
They'd walk around Central Park, sit on a bench, watch people. Sometimes they'd sing silly songs or create imaginary conversations with the people they're watching. Rachel thinks it's the lamest thing to do, but she wouldn't have it any other way.
For every night that she and Quinn spend together she makes breakfast the next day for Quinn. When they aren't together she would text or call Quinn, asking her how her day went. Sometimes Quinn would call her whenever she frustrated with a paper she's finishing and she needed a break. She thinks it's nice that she is the one Quinn decides to call first. It's like being her girlfriend without actually being her girlfriend.
x
"Honey, I'm home!" sing-songed Quinn as she entered the apartment.
Rachel knew it didn't mean anything but she couldn't help smiling when she heard Quinn say those words. She threw herself in Quinn's arms and breathed in her familiar scent.
"I have something for you." Rachel told her as she pulled away from the embrace.
"Oh, are we celebrating anything today?"
"No, no. I just saw it and decided to give it to you." she went to pick up the paper bag sitting on the desk and handed it to Quinn. "It's nothing special, but I hope you like it."
Quinn untied the strings and opened the bag, revealing a black moleskin journal, and a beautiful pen with her name engraved on it. "Wow, thank you for this, Rachel. Now I feel bad that I didn't get you anything."
"It's okay. You being here is good enough."
They sat on the couch and Rachel felt the need to tell Quinn something.
"Do you remember Brody? This guy I kind of dated a few months ago?"
"Yeah, Santana told me about him. Why, are you two dating again?"
"No, we aren't. But-" she closed her eyes and inhaled, she wants Quinn to know. "But a few months ago, I thought I was pregnant. I should've called you, but I didn't really want anyone to know. I didn't even tell Santana, she just found out. I'm sorry, Quinn."
Quinn put her arms around Rachel, letting Rachel rest her head on her shoulder. "Hey, it's fine. Yeah, you should've called me, but I understand how frightening it is. But if anything ever happens again, I just want you to know that I'm here for you, and you can tell me anything."
They stayed like that for a long time. Rachel never felt safer in Quinn's arms. She thinks if she wasn't in love with Quinn before, she certainly is falling now.
x
Rachel comes to New Haven the next weekend. She's been debating on telling Quinn her feelings for her, and she decided that if the universe agrees with her, then she might tell her tonight.
She entered Quinn's room (they've exchanged keys now. Kurt and Santana didn't have a problem with it and neither does Quinn's roommate) and found Quinn talking to someone on her phone. She gave her a wave and Quinn held up her hand as she finished her phone call.
"I miss you too. I'll see you soon. Bye." She smiled as she ended the call.
"Hey."
"Hi. Sorry, it was Puck, I haven't talked to him in days."
"Oh. I'm glad the two of you still keep in touch."
Quinn chuckled. "Yeah well, we have to, considering I'm with him."
Rachel almost dropped her bags. She felt weak. She probably needed to sit down. "Y-you're dating him?"
"Yeah, since the last time we went back to Lima. After he kicked Biff for calling me a slutbag."
Oh. "You never told me."
"I'm sorry, I should've. But we never talked about dating or anything so it never came up."
Rachel inhaled deeply, she needed to get it together. "It's fine. You're right, it never really came up."
The universe must have hated her.
x
She hasn't talked to Quinn in two weeks. They were both busy, and Rachel is desperately trying to find a way get over these stupid feelings she has for Quinn. Quinn has been calling and texting her but she has yet to respond.
She was in the kitchen when Kurt came up to her.
"So. Spill." Kurt demanded as he went to grab a bottle of water in the fridge.
"Excuse me?"
"Quinn has been calling Santana and me. She's worried about you."
"Do you know she and Puck are together?"
"They are? Hm, I didn't know that. But what does that have to do with this?"
"Nothing. I've been really busy with school."
"Rachel, I know something's up. But clearly you don't want to talk about it. But I'm here okay?"
Rachel gave him a grateful smile and wordlessly proceeded to her room.
x
She was sitting on bench when a familiar voice startled her.
"I figured you'd be here."
"Quinn."
"Why are you avoiding me?"
"I wasn't."
"You and I both know that's not true."
"I've been really busy with school."
"So busy that you can't even reply to my texts to tell me how busy you are?"
"I'm sorry."
Quinn sat down next to her and grabbed one of her hands. "Come on, clearly I did something to upset you. Tell me what it is so I can properly apologize. I don't want you to stay away from me."
"You didn't do anything, Quinn. I was just being stupid."
"What is this about, then?"
She gently pried her hand away from Quinn and stared at her lap. "Did you ever feel like for the longest time you've been in this little bubble of yours, like you're stuck in a fantasy, and then one day everything you've believed in blows in your face, and you just feel so stupid that you've thought of something that will never really happen in the first place?"
Quinn's brows furrowed, not understanding where Rachel's going on with this. "I'm... afraid I don't understand what you're trying to say."
Rachel stood up from her seat and started walking back to her apartment. "It's nothing, really. I'm sorry for bothering you, Quinn."
Quinn grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Rachel, tell me what's bothering you."
Rachel inhaled deeply and looked Quinn in the eyes. "Why are you with Puck?"
She's taken aback by the question, but she answers anyway. "He's there for me, he won't judge my past because he is my past. He's changed, he's grown out of that Puck he was in high school."
"I'm here for you."
"Rachel, what is going on?"
Rachel is so frustrated that she grabbed Quinn's coat pressed her lips against her. She took Quinn's bottom lip, pulled back and did it again. It took her ten seconds to realize that Quinn wasn't responding. She pulled back and took two steps away from Quinn.
Quinn has her eyes closed and her brows furrowed. Rachel took it as a cue.
"I'm so sorry, Quinn." And she walked away.
x
Quinn stopped talking to her after that day. Rachel thought that maybe it's for the best, it will help her get over her feelings and move on. She berates herself for being too late, she should've done something a long time ago. But then again, maybe she's just not the one Quinn wants.
She goes to Kurt that night.
"Finally decided to talk?" He said without looking up from the book he was reading.
Rachel nodded and walked towards his bed.
"So what's up?" He closed his book and put it on his nightstand.
"I'm-I think I'm in love with Quinn."
"Oh, honey. Come here." He wrapped his arms around Rachel and light rocked back and forth. "I'm so sorry."
"I think I made a mess." She said through tears.
"It will be alright."
"She's staying away from me."
"Give her time, sweetheart, I'm sure she'll talk to you again."
She doubts that.
x
It's been exactly three weeks and two days since she last talked to Quinn. She misses her, but she doesn't know how to start talking to her again. She made a mistake by kissing her, she knows that. But she didn't know how to make Quinn understand.
She told Santana about it, too. She just held Rachel when she cried again, and told her she was offended Rachel didn't fall for her instead. "What, am I not hot enough?" Rachel laughed through her tears, thankful that she has her and Kurt.
Rachel went straight home after her classes ended. She was tired and she isn't really in the mood to do anything. Kurt and Santana are both out, so she was surprised when she heard the TV on.
She didn't expect Quinn to be sitting on the couch at 3 in the afternoon on a Tuesday.
"Quinn, what are you doing here?"
Quinn turned the TV off and stood from the couch, making her way to Rachel.
"Do you know I slept with Santana at Mr. Schue's wedding?"
No, she didn't know that. "Why are you telling me this?"
"I also had an affair with my professor at the start of the school year."
Rachel stared at her.
"Do you know that Puck loves me?"
She really didn't need to hear this. She closed her eyes and balled her hands into fists. "What are you doing, Quinn?"
"He does, you know? But he loves me for all the wrong reasons. We're together for the wrong reasons. It's safe, it's familiar."
"Quinn, I'm not sure where this is going."
"If I'm going to start anything with you, you have to know everything about me. I don't want to keep secrets, it's what ruined my past relationships. I don't want to ruin this."
Rachel opened her eyes at that. "Y-you mean…"
Quinn took a step closer to her."I'm sorry, Rachel. I needed time to think. You can't just kiss someone and walk away." She chuckled and grabbed Rachel's hands, giving them a squeeze. "I talked to Puck. I told her about you, about us. He understands, he's glad it's you, actually. He says he doesn't have to worry."
Rachel's head was spinning now. She couldn't understand what was happening.
Quinn lifted Rachel's chin with her hand, eyes meeting hers. "What I'm saying, Rachel, is that I'm sorry I didn't talk to you sooner, but I'm here now, and I hope that it's not too late. Because it would kinda suck that I assumed we're starting something when you don't feel the same way anymore."
Rachel snapped out of her stupor and held Quinn's cheeks with her hands, she pulled her down and kissed her, nipping and biting on her lip. Quinn put her hands on Rachel's waist and Rachel thinks it's illegal for kisses to feel this good.
Rachel doesn't know why words fail her when it comes to Quinn, but she's glad at the same time because she can use her mouth for other things. Quinn's hand goes behind her neck and began to scratch her nape lightly. She's sure her brain just went short circuit. Her hands are on Quinn's shoulders and she's pushing her back until they hit the couch. Quinn sat down and Rachel went to straddle Quinn, kissing her jaw and her neck and God the noises Quinn makes are enough to drive Rachel crazy.
"Rachel, w-we should stop."
Rachel didn't seem to hear because she started sucking hard on Quinn's pulse point.
"Ra-God-Rachel, we need to stop." She gently pushed Rachel's shoulders.
Rachel seemed to have heard it this time. She took a look at Quinn's disheveled hair, her blown pupils and parted lips. It's the sexiest thing she has ever seen.
"I'm sorry, Quinn."
Quinn's lips turned into a smirk. "No, you're not."
Rachel disentangled herself from Quinn and stood up but Quinn pulled her back to have her sit on her lap, wrapping her arms around Rachel's waist.
"Hey, I don't want you to think that I don't want this. I do. We just have to take it slow, we haven't even been on a date yet."
"You're right. I'm sorry. It's just-I really like kissing you." Rachel said shyly as she ducked her head.
"Kissing is fine. We can keep doing that."
Rachel raised her head to look at Quinn. "So, what happens now?"
"You go on a date with me, and possibly more dates after that. I'll hold your hands, pull you close to me every time you're cold, I'll hold doors for you, and we keep kissing. How does that sound?"
"That… sounds really, really nice."
Quinn smiled and rested her head on Rachel's shoulders. She inhaled her scent and thinks that with Rachel on her lap, playing with their intertwined fingers, this must be what being home feels like.
Title from Magic - Coldplay