A/N: This chapter, once again, goes out to Lariren Shadow who gave me this request. Read and review? Enjoy!

Trivia: Amoung teenagers and children today, tales such as The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Never Ending Story are considered fairy tales.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

Be Our Guest

"I don't want to impose."

"Nonsense, you're always welcome here!"

"I am?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't you be?"

"Because our species are mortal enemies."

"Like that matters!"

"Doesn't it?"

Jasper and Emmett caught each other's gaze before turning back to Jacob and shouting "No!"

Each taking an arm, they drug him through their front door and pushed him down into the nearest chair.

"Why are you being like this?" Jacob asked, raising a quizzical brow. "If it was the coppery haired leech that came to the door I'd be out on my ass before I even got to say why I'm here. Why aren't you two treating me the same way?"

"Oh, Mon Amie, you're our guest!" Emmett exclaimed, doing a slight spin before kneeling down in front of the werewolf. "Be out guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test."

"Place a napkin around you're neck, young mutt, and we'll provide the rest." Jasper jumped in, tucking a white handkerchief into the front of Jacob's t-shirt before presenting him with a glass of blood.

Jacob frowned but as soon as Emmett noticed, he pushed the sides of his lips up into a smile.

"No one's gloomy or complaining while the vamps are entertaining." Emmett chastised, grinning.

"We tell jokes, I do tricks with my fellow… Umm… Uhh…" Jasper trailed off. "Dude, what rhymes with 'tricks'?"

"It's supposed to be candlesticks." Emmett replied.

"I know, but we're not intimate objects."

"You could always say beatniks… Or pricks." Jacob supplied.

"Hey, listen here mutt. This is our greeting, and we're going to do it our-" Emmett stopped mid-sentence at the sound of a very familiar voice.

"What on Carlisle's name do you think you two are doing?" The voice asked, dripping with poisoned honey.

The two vampires and the werewolf all looked up to see Edward leaning over the balcony at the top of the stairs.

Emmett and Jasper stayed silent.

"You're fraternizing with the enemy!" Edward growled. As an after thought he added, "Wait, what is the enemy even doing in our house?"

Still no reply.

Sighing, he muttered. "I don't even want to know."

In a heartbeat, Edward was standing in front of the chair that Jacob was currently sitting in. Placing his hand on Jacob's arm, Edward yanked him up and began pushing him towards the door.

"Hey, what are you-"

"You'll shut up, mutt, if you know what's good for you." Edward warned, opening the door.

"I just wanted to know if-"

"Bye bye!" Edward said, pushing him out onto the step.

Before he had the chance to slam the door, Jacob managed to get out "I just wanted to know if Bella was here."

As if on cue, Bella appeared at the top of the stairs, donning only a very short silk robe, her hair sopping wet.

"Edward? Who's that?" She questioned, trying to see around his body.

Taking his eyes off of Bella, Edward turned back to Jacob and said "There's your answer."

Jaw agape and eyes bulged, he took no notice when Edward slammed the door in his face.

Snapping out of his trance a moment later, he banged on the door and began yelling.

"Bella? Bella, I know you're there! Why are you so indecent? Is he trying to take advantage of you? Bella?"

"I don't need to take advantage of her," A muffled voice came room just inside of the door. "She's willing."