Nathaniel awoke gasping for air, his hands clenching the sheets underneath him. His eyes flickered from one side to another, trying to piece together his jumbled thoughts.

Where am I?

He sat up slowly, exhaling deep calming breaths, as he examined the room — the window overlooking the expansive plains outside the Keep, a sturdy maple desk beside it, joined by several bookshelves lined on the wall.

This was his room. Not in the shared room in Kirkwall, not the filthy cells of Vigil's Keep... What in Andraste's blood just happened?

Nathaniel pushed back his hair. His father murdered by the Grey Wardens, his entire family lost everything... Elle as the Warden Commander... Was it all just a dream?

What of his strange dream — or more like a nightmare? Those hideous humanoid creatures hissing as they crawled and clawed their way to... something. Some strange but alluring tune...

He shook his head to will such thoughts away, then glanced down at his leather armor. Was he drinking last night? He certainly couldn't remember, which was probably a sign that he was. That and the slight throbbing on his temples on top of a mild urge to vomit.

Did Tom goad me into drinking an entire keg? That certainly happened at some point in his younger years, but he wasn't that stupid to repeat it.

Shaking his head again, he got up from the bed. Tea. He needed tea. He could ask one of the servants to bring him some.

Nathaniel stepped out of his room, checking the hallway for any servants passing passing by, and his gaze stopped on the Grey Warden banners decorating the halls.

It wasn't a dream...

"Eighty sovereign?" Elisa's voice echoed as she and Loghain turned around the corner. "That's rather excessive."

"Proper fortification rarely comes cheap," Loghain replied. "We can look for another stonemason, but that would take time. And I can't guarantee the quality."

She sighed. "The arling's tight on funds given the series of trouble it's dealing with. And the Crown's stretched thin enough as it is."

"Send word to your brother. Highever remained untouched by the Blight. He might have some resources to spare."

"Doubtful, but I'll try. They're also rebuilding after—" Elisa paused as she spotted Nathaniel. "Oh, you're finally awake. Good afternoon."

Afternoon? Nathaniel's brows furrowed. "How long was I out?"

"Several hours. You missed lunch," Elisa replied. "Starving?"

"No, I—" His stomach grumbled and color rushed up to his cheeks.

Her lips twitched slightly. "Get something to eat. Come to my office afterwards. We have much to discuss." She returned her attention back to Loghain, continuing their conversation as they strode further down the hall.

Servants and soldiers paced around the dining area. Some eyed him with suspicion — most likely those who recognized who he was. Others had been far too busy with their duties to care about another new addition to the Keep.

Nathaniel grabbed a couple of loaves of bread, cheese and boar meat, piling them all on his plate before wolfing them down. Mentally, his old nanny's voice chastised him for lacking manners, but when was the last time he had a proper meal? Surely, he could let his noble etiquette slip just once.

"You're Rendon Howe's little blighter, aren't you?" A rough voice spoke behind him.

Setting his utensils down, he turned to the red-haired dwarf. "That'sone way of putting it," he said carefully. Was the dwarf trying to pick a fight? Did he have something against his father? Hard to say. He seemed like the sort who held a grudge just to pick a fight.

"They talked about you in the army. Fergus Cousland said you wouldn't have the stones to show your face again." The dwarf grinned slowly. "But you proved him wrong. I respect that."

Nathaniel arched a brow. "You do?"

The dwarf's grin broadened. "Yeah. Throw caution to the wind, run headlong into danger, and sod the consequences -- that's the only way to live."

Nathaniel glanced to the side. "Thanks... I think." He jerked forward as a hand slapped his back.

"Don't you give a piss what the others think. Oghren's got your back." The dwarf, Oghren, sat down beside him and pulled up the flask attached to his belt, uncorking it then taking a long swig.

Nathaniel grimaced at the stench and finished his meal before he completely lost his appetite. He was ready to bolt, when another voice called out.

"Dwarf! There you are."

Oghren wiped his drink with the back of his hand, then glared at a blonde man in robes. "Whaddya want, Sparkle-fingers?" He belched.

The mage's nose scrunched at the stench. "Drunk this early? Know what, I'm not even surprised." The dwarf turned, mouth open to retort but he continued, "Commander sent me to drag your hairy arse to her office. Also, need to find this 'Nathaniel Howe'..."

Oghren pointed his thumb to the side. "Found him for ya."

Finally, the mage noted the man beside the dwarf. His brow arched then a small grin formed on his lips. "So you're a Howe."

The tone was far too casual for someone who was a complete stranger to him. Nathaniel's eyes narrowed. "do you have a point mage?"

The mage raised his hands. "Hey! I'm fond of the Howes!" But his grin broadened. "I'm also fond of the Whys, the Whos and the Whats."

Nathaniel rolled his eyes just as the other man laughed at his own joke. "How clever..."

The mage wiped the tears from his eyes as his laughter died down to a chuckle. "Oh, it's shameful how long it took me to come up with that."

"Yeah, we're stuck with a comedian for a Grey Warden," Oghren muttered to Nathaniel, shaking his head. "Can't believe he survived The Joining."

"Can't believe they let you join the Wardens," the mage snapped back. "What, going to kill darkspawn with your nauseating breath?"

"At least I can kill something, unlike—"

"Anders. Oghren."

The two Wardens halted their argument and turned toward the entryway where a very exasperated Commander stood.

"He started it." The mage, Anders, pointed at the dwarf who was ready tackle him.

"Try it, and I'm locking away your alcohol supply," Elisa said, her features cold and hard. "And I'm sending you to the Legion."

To Nathaniel's surprise, Oghren merely grumbled and stepped back. "You got lucky this time mage."

Anders stuck out his tongue, only to retract it when the Commander glared at him.

"Since you're all done here," Elisa said, jerking her head to the side. "Follow me. We have important matters to discuss."

The three new Wardens followed not far behind as she led them down the hallway, although they maintained enough distance to chat amongst themselves.

"You and her..." Anders spared the Commander a glance. "Traveled around during The Blight right? I have to know... is she single?"

Oghren snorted. "Don't even bother."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Yer not her type."

The corners of Anders' lips twitched slightly. "Women find me incredibly charming, you know."

"Get a crown first," Oghren said.

That piqued Nathaniel's curiosity. The Elisa he remembered took no interest to politics, so why would she even want to be with a king? "Who?" he whispered.

"I'm not deaf," Elisa spoke, and the three Wardens finally noticed that she stopped in front of her office. "And my personal affairs are irrelevant. So if you're done gossiping..." She opened the door, gesturing for them to enter.

~oOo~

Inside, Loghain turned to them after setting down the documents he had been segregating. Elisa's lips thinned as she eyed the stack of parchments. Andraste's blood, I leave this office for ten minutes... She ignored it for the time being and faced the new members of their Order. "I'll brief you on today's duties. But first, are there any concerns?"

Anders raised his hand. "I'm having this weird itch—" The dwarf snorted. The mage rolled his eyes. "And they say I'm juvenile."

Maker breath. Elisa raised her hand, silencing the two before they started another argument. "Like something crawling inside your veins?"

"Yes, that!"

"Do you feel it now?"

Pursing his lips, Anders hummed as he stared at the ceiling. "Yes actually. It's faint. Not entirely distracting, but I'm pretty sure if wasn't there before."

"It means you're close to someone tainted. In this case..." Elisa's hands gestured at them. "Everyone here."

"This is how we Wardens sense any incoming darkspawn," Loghain said.

"However, it works both ways," she added, taking a deep breath through her nose. Here comes the difficult part. "We can sense them, and they can sense us."

"So it's a never-ending cat and mouse chase?" Nathaniel finally spoke, and for a split second, Elisa's features softened, before she nodded with small frown.

"That's how we track them, especially in the Deep Roads, once—" She swallowed. "Once we near our Calling."

"Calling?" Anders said.

"The Calling is a portent," Loghain answered instead, much to Elisa's relief. "Like crows circling the battlefield before the fighting. It tells us that our time has come."

"The Joining only delays the effects of the Taint, and thus, our lifespan's shortened," Elisa continued, her voice strained. She knew as Warden Commander, at some point, she needed to explain this to new members as though this was something as banal as making tea. "Thirty years, more or less, considering there's no more Blight. Before the Taint completely consumes us, we head to the Deep Roads to fight darkspawn until..."

"Until it kills us..." Anders murmured, fidgeting on the spot.

Elisa nodded, hardening her features. "Death is inevitable. You, for example, would've been hanged by the templars had I not conscripted you. Ferelden has gained enough corpses from The Blight. She needs people who can fight for her."

She spared Nathaniel a glance. He stood straight, arms behind his back, but featured a slight scowl in his overall stoic facade. Her gaze shifted back to Anders. "You can run away if you like."

At that statement, the mage stiffened. Did I hit a mark? "Regardless," she continued, "the darkspawn will find you or you'll eventually find them."

Oghren snorted. "This ain't no different from fighting templars, Sparkle-fingers. I say, since yer here, might as well throw the biggest fireball you can make."

Anders' shoulders relaxed a little as he grinned slightly to the dwarf. "Imagining darkspawn as templars... it does make it a little more fun, and no one to reprimand me, so there's that bonus."

Note to self, bring Oghren several bottles of antivan brandy tomorrow, Elisa thought. "Any other questions?"

Anders raised his hand again. "So aside from dying, are there any benefits to being a Grey Warden?"

"There's increased stamina—"

Oghren snickered and Anders' brows shot up as a grin slowly formed on his lips. "Tell ya later kid," the dwarf muttered despite the glare coming from the Commander.

Elisa rolled her eyes. I take it back. No alcohol for you, dwarf. "If there are no more questions—"

"Elisa," Nathaniel finally spoke up.

"It's Commander," Loghain interrupted, glaring at the younger man.

Elisa raised a hand, effectively silencing the older Warden from further admonishment, but she remained silent while merely staring at Nathaniel with an arched brow.

The latter's scowl deepened but followed regardless. "Commander, a word—" He side-glanced to the rest of the Wardens. "In private?"

Elisa and Loghain shared a brief look, the latter's brows furrowed as he frowned. Regardless, the Commander addressed the other Wardens. "Anders, head to the apothecary and prepare a list of ingredients that needs restocking. We'll need that for tomorrow's trip to the city.

"Loghain, take Oghren with you, and meet Sergeant Maverlies down in the basement. She reported an explosion there during the attack and we need an assessment of the damage."

Despite the wary glance toward the Howe, Loghain nodded.

"Dismissed."

~oOo~

As soon as the three Wardens left the office, Elisa faced Nathaniel, gesturing an open palm toward him. "Go on."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She arched a brow. "You have to be more specific."

"The Taint, its effects." He waved his hands up and down. "Everything. Had I known—" He paused.

"'Had you known, you wouldn't have joined.' Is that what you were about to say?"

"That's not—"

Elisa placed her hand on her hips. "Need I remind you who begged to join the Wardens. And for the record, I did tell you. 'Joining the Wardens could kill you.' Remember that?"

Nathaniel winced slightly and averted his gaze. Of course he knew. This wasn't even about her keeping it a secret. "It's just... not what I had expected."

"What were you expecting, mighty warriors riding griffons? Life isn't a fairytale."

"Funny, you used to believe such things." He huffed a humorless laugh and shook his head. "You've changed."

"The only thing permanent in this world is change." She averted her gaze toward the window. "If there's nothing else, then help Anders down the apothecary. Bring me the list once you're done."

Her tone told Nathaniel enough. This conversation is over. Typical of her, really. Time changed so many aspects of her but that stubbornness remained the same.

"Understood Commander," he said with a light bow and his lips curled up slightly at that twitch on her brow. Glad I can still get under your skin. He turned and left the room before she could utter a response.

~oOo~

Later that evening, Elisa dropped her quill back on the inkwell after signing the last document she needed to sign. Andraste's knickers, she would rather be anywhere but in the office, but Arlessa duties meant she needed to sift through this paperwork, among other dull affairs. There's tomorrow's trip at least, she thought with a small smile. She only needed to get through the morning ceremony with the Banns of the arling.

As she stretched her arms up, someone knocked on the door. "Come in," she said upon leaning back on her chair. Her lips curled into a small smile as Loghain entered. "Settled the matter?"

He nodded. "Dispatched what darkspawn remained. We also discovered the tunnel they used to enter the Keep. According to Voldrik, it's possible the tunnel leads to the Deep Roads."

Her smile faded as she cursed under breath. "Any recommendation?"

"There may be a mechanism within the Deep Roads that could seal off the entrance. They need a couple of days to clear out the rubble before we can safely venture in." He paused and reached behind him. "There is another matter..."

Elisa eyed the worn and bloodied parchment Loghain handed over to her. "We found this on an injured mabari," he said.

She read the letter and swallowed. "Adria..." Her gaze returned to Loghain. "Did you find her?"

He nodded grimly. "With the others. We had to—"

Elisa raised her hand at that slight tingle in her veins. Her gaze shifted toward the door. "Nathaniel? Don't just stand there. Come in."

Silence. Her brows furrowed. She was certain she had sensed him, or at least one of the Wardens, if not him.

A second later, the door opened as Nathaniel entered with a folded parchment in hand. "The list you asked for." Approaching her desk, he handed her the list but kept his gaze on the bloodied parchment she held.

Did he hear? Elisa cleared her throat, catching his attention. "Is there anything else?"

Nathaniel hesitated for a moment then said, "you mentioned Adria earlier. Is she..." His voice trailed off.

She side-glanced to Loghain who sported that usual scowl. Are you telling him or do I, was his silent query, and Elisa preferred she handled this delicate matter. "They found her dead down in the basement, surrounded by darkspawn."

"Are you certain?" Nathaniel leaned forward, clutching the edge of her desk for support. "What if it's someone else they found—"

"Several people have confirmed her identity," Loghain said.

As the younger Warden lowered his head, Elisa's features softened. "I'm sorry for your loss. She was like a mother to you, wasn't she?"

"She was..." Nathaniel murmured, lips quivering as he tried to rein in his grief.

"They're preparing the funeral pyre right now," Elisa said gently as she placed her hand on top of his. "And Varel had already sent word that the Chantry priest had arrived over an hour ago. If you wish to say your farewells..."

He nodded slightly. "Thank you for telling me." He excused himself and left the office.

Elisa stared at the door until she could no longer sense his presence, then her attention turned to Loghain as those icy blue eyes of his studied her intently. "What?"

He averted his gaze toward the window. "Nothing."

Her brow arched. "It didn't seem like 'nothing'." She waited but he maintained his silence, so she added with a slight grin, "if you think I'm pretty, just say it."

He snorted, but she pressed on, "now, now. I can take compliments, especially from the great Hero of River Dane."

Loghain rolled his eyes and gestured at the stacks of parchments on her desk. "Shouldn't you be focusing on your paperwork, Commander? These things breed like rabbits."

Elisa leaned back against her chair. "I've finished them actually. So I'm free to pester you till bedtime." A slow small grin formed on her lips. "So tell me, why were you looking at me like that?"

He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, then spoke in such a deadpan manner, "yes. I do find you 'pretty'."

She threw her head back and laughed. "Maker's breath Loghain, you're horrible at compliments. And I've heard some older noblewomen once swooned over you." She shook her head. "I'd hate to be bearer the bad news."

"No, Please do. They've been pestering me since my wife passed away," he said.

As the laughter died down, her grin faded as she tilted her head to the side. "So you're not going to tell me?"

"There's nothing for me to say."

Throwing her hands up, Elisa shook her head. "Fine." She stood up and picked up her bow and quiver, as well as her daggers, from the nearby weapon rack, ignoring the inquisitive look on his face. "Take those papers to Varel. I'm going to the training grounds."

~oOo~

Solemnly, Nathaniel stood not far from the funeral pyre as the flames consumed Adria's body. The priest, with her palm raised forward, recited verses from The Chant of Light.

"I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Fade

For there is no darkness, nor death either, in the Maker's Light

And nothing that He has wrought shall be lost..."

He breathed deeply, repeating those words, as well as adding what little he remembered from The Chant. "I am not alone. Even as I stumble on the path... With my eyes closed, yet I see the Light is here..." His brows furrowed, trying to recall the rest of the verses.

"Draw your last breath, my friends..." Another voice joined him. In the corner of his eye, he spotted Elisa as she approached his side, her gaze fixed on the pyre. "Cross the Veil and the Fade and all the stars in the sky... Rest at the Maker's right hand, and be Forgiven."

She said nothing else after that, and the two stood in silence until there was nothing left to burn. As per Nathaniel's request, the lay sisters gathered Adria's ashes to seal inside an urn.

That was when Elisa spoke again. "The basement's been cleared out. If my memory serves me right, your family crypt's down there, yes?"

He nodded as one of the sisters handed him the urn. Glancing down at it, he thought of how much father would detest the suggestion. But he's not here now, is he? Adria was as much of a family to him, and she deserved such honor.

"Thomas' ashes had also been placed there," she added, "they found his body after the war. Your father..." Her voice strained and she took a deep breath. "The Arl of Denerim's estate had been destroyed during the siege. Nothing could be recovered. I'm..." She turned to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry."

Nathaniel might've taken the apology as sarcasm had he not heard the sincerity in her tone. "I understand..." He paused before adding, "what of Delilah?"

"Alive, according to some of the staff."

Nathaniel's eyes widened. "She is? Where's she now?" He hadn't even realized that he closed the space between him and the Commander until she stepped back a little.

"They wouldn't tell me. I suspect they fear that I might have her executed." She gestured a hand toward him. "But I think they'll speak more freely with you. Your old groundskeeper, Samuel still works here. He might know."

Samuel... Yes, Nathaniel remembered him. The man often indulged him and his sister whenever they played hide and seek around the Keep, whenever their father and mother were away.

"I will. Thank you." He smiled, as much to her surprise as his. For the first time since his return to Ferelden, he found something to look forward to.

Elisa shifted her gaze down to the urn. "If you're heading down to the basement, I'll come with you." When he raised a brow, she added, "assessing the damage. Don't worry, I won't enter the crypt."

Not that her presence there was forbidden, but Nathaniel appreciated the gesture. He nodded to her. "Let's go."

~oOo~

Down in the basement, Elisa stayed behind the main hall while Nathaniel went further in. The area had been cleared enough for the Vigil's staff to enter without risk of corruption. And so far, the only one she sensed was Oghren who she earlier found to be drinking away the remaining brandy in the wine cellar.

Typical, she thought as she sat on a dusty table and rummaged inside the crate. At least the stock there would only get him tipsy. She needed him functioning tomorrow for their trip to the city.

Sifting through documents, she discovered few letters from Delilah addressed to Nathaniel. He'd want to see this, she thought. She set them aside for now, and continued browsing the rest of the documents. One piqued her interest as it was addressed to Rendon Howe.

However, before she could open the letter, her skin started to itch. It was faint but incessant, and certainly not from any of the Wardens. Setting the documents back to the crate, she ventured inside the wine cellar where Oghren just down the contents of a bottle. Fortunately, the dwarf remained sober enough to fight.

"Finish the rest later," she spoke softly, careful not to alert the enemy. "We have some darkspawn to kill."

With the back of his hand, Oghren wiped the liquor staining his beard then stood. "Didn't we just killed 'em a while ago?"

"You may have missed a couple." Or several, she thought. Frankly, it was difficult to determine just how much lingered — which made this all the more troublesome.

The dwarf followed her back to the main hall. She surveyed the vicinity then her gaze landed on a room across the wine cellar. She inched closer, and the tingling in her blood increased. "Have you checked that room?"

"Yeah, was empty," Oghren shrugged, but readied his battleaxe regardless.

Elisa hummed then carefully approached the door with one hand on her dagger. However, as she opened the door, the small dimly lit room was just as what the dwarf said — empty — aside from Andraste's statue and shelves that lined the walls.

I could've sworn— Then that tingling turned into a loud buzz and she yelled, "Shriek!"

They covered their ears just as that screeching noise reverberated around the cramped room. From the shadows appeared four sharp-taloned creatures that rushed forward as they backpedaled to the main hall.

Oghren swung his axe in wide arcs just as one of the darkspawn lunged. It screamed as the blade slashed its flank and the dwarf took the opportunity to chop its head off. One Shriek managed to run past him and toward the Commander.

Elisa dodged the onslaught of its talons and sliced her dagger at its chest as soon as she found an opening. As the injured creature staggered, another darkspawn tackled her from behind. Its talons broke through her armor,and she screamed as it clawed her back.

Suddenly, the Shriek dropped dead on top of her. She pushed it off and rolled away, unsheathing her other dagger, and found the creature with three arrows puncturing its skull. The deep cuts on her back stung but she needed to keep her focus on the fight.

By the entryway, Nathaniel fired more arrows at the injured Shriek while Oghren cleaved the other in half. Once the two darkspawn collapsed onto the floor, the archer rushed over to the Commander.

"Maker's breath! you're bleeding!" Nathaniel tore a part of his tunic and tried to wrap it around her wound. "Hold still."

His orders fell on deaf ears as Elisa kept fidgeting, her head frantically turning from side to side. One more, where is it! Her gaze flickered around the room, her senses on high alert. In the shadowy corners of the room, she caught a movement, and she yelled, "Shriek!"

An ear-splitting screech surrounded the hall just as Elisa and Oghren covered their ears. Nathaniel, however, reacted a second too late, and he staggered on the floor, eyes shut at the scraping noise. A large creature — the Alpha — pinned him down and tore through his tunic, talons clawing at his chest.

Nathaniel! In a flash, Elisa tackled the darkspawn from behind, driving her dagger on its back over and over as it roared and screamed and hissed before it went silent.

She pushed it aside and checked on the half-conscious archer. "Nate, look at me, look at me."

His brows furrowed slightly but uttered no response.

Shit. Elisa turned to Oghren. "Get Anders. Now!" As the dwarf rushed out of the basement, she took the torn fabric from the archer's loose grip and wrapped it around his chest.

"Help's on the way. Just hold on."

End of Chapter 5