A/N: This chapter is dedicated to XXDragonHeart6XX and MusicalEdward. Read and review? Enjoy!

Poll: Only 4 out of the 9 options have been voted for. Barbie is winning. Support Rosalie, people. Go vote!

Trivia: In the original unabridged version of The Princess Bride, S. Morgenstern rambled on for 26 pages about Princess Buttercup packing to go and live with Prince Humperdink. Also, in the movie, right before Westley sayd that the R.O.U.S's don't exist, he looks over Buttercup's shoulder and stares at one for about 5 seconds.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

The Kissing Chapter

Tears streamed down her face as she picked up the thing that would soon become the object of her demise.

It felt like she had no other choice. Edward had left her. She was being imprisoned with only solitude for company. The exits were being guarded by one very tiny mythical creature. There was no cable. Or Jane Austen books. Bella was trapped in her own personal hell.

Sitting in front of the vanity in Alice room, she stood up shakily. Poising the blade over her heart, she pulled it away from her slightly, making sure that there was enough space between her and the weapon so when she plunged it towards her, it would do more than just pierce the skin.

Just before she could stab the tip into the flesh that rested above her heart, a very familiar voice spoke up behind her:

"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours."

Gasping, Bella swiftly turned around. There was Edward, sprawled across Alice and Jasper's bed looking every part the deity he was.

"Oh, Edward!" Bella cried, racing to wards the bed and jumping on top of him. "I thought you'd left me."

"Bella," Edward managed to get out in between her kisses. "I was only out hunting. You knew that."

Kiss.

"But you were gone so long," She replied, refusing to cease his attack. Kiss. "I thought that I'd die of a broken heart."

Kiss. Kiss.

"It looked to me like you were about to commit suicide."

Kiss.

"I was."

Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

"With-" Kiss. "A nail file?"

Bella stared at the tool that was still clutched tightly in her hand.

"Well, sorry if I didn't have a dagger at hand." She replied, tossing the file to the floor so she could weave her fingers through Edward's hair. Kiss. Kiss. "I had to make do."

Kiss.

"Fair enough." Edward grinned before flipping Bella over onto her back.

Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

Jasper walked into the door way and smiled.

"Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure." Jasper whispered, even too quietly for Edward to hear. "This one is leaving them all behind."

Without another word, he strode silently out of the room, opting to go and find Alice so that they could make out on Edward's couch.