No. Conceal it, don't feel it. Just don't think about it, Elsa. You're ok. Don't feel, don't feel.
The instinct to ice the boat was difficult to suppress. They knew as well as she that if she let herself get scared and react, the consequences might be grave for Arendelle. The nightmares of her coronation still lingered. Risking bringing the winter back was a terror that haunted her even during the festivals.
And yet she was numb. She doubted that even if she could use her powers to fight back, she wouldn't have any way to do so. Elsa briefly fought within herself to lift her hands or feet, kick or fight back, with no avail. Elsa had never felt so powerless.
The guard they called Danjolf roughly lifted her. She had no control over her limbs and they flopped around according to how her guards moved them. She used all of her will power to avoid looking to the base of the mast, where Brynfold lay swollen and limp, and prayed he wasn't dead. He tried to stop them, three against one.
She winced as he laid her down on the stairs and kneeled over her. His strong hands migrated from one place to another: her hair, her shoulder, her breast, her stomach. She distracted herself by trying to find the gown she had on when she boarded. Maybe it was thrown into the water. Pain shot through her as Danjolf's finger climbed into her and simultaneously tested the strength of a woman's body by pulling and tugging on her breasts. First with his fingers, then his teeth.
Don't let them see the fear. It's not pain, it's not. Don't think about it. Don't feel it.
It frightened her how second-nature being unresponsive was to her until she broke. It was hard to keep the facade when Danjolf simply played with her using one finger or two, but she couldn't stop the tears and the scream as he pushed his fist into her. The burning was unexpected. When would this hell be over?
Then a thought.
What if doesn't end? Had they planned to kill her?
Don't feel!
She felt the ice crystallizing beneath her fingers. Holt felt it, too, "Ah ah ahh! No ice, Snow Queen. Wouldn't want that permanent winter to return, would we?"
Hours passed and the guards eventually had their fill. She repeated her Father's song in her head until now, but suddenly pushed it away.
Deep breath.
She saw the three guards laughing and sitting content against the side of the boat. A pointed blast of ice caught Danjolf in the heart, another pierced Holt in the temple, and the last shot through Jackdon's eye. She kept her cool, collapsing hard onto the floor.
Elsa lay still and quiet on the wooden deck of the boat and wished that her fear of being killed was reality. For many years in her adolescence she denied these thoughts. She knew the world might be better without her, but couldn't bring herself to bring the idea to the forefront of her mind. And now she meditated on what would be different, who would miss her, what would happen to Arendelle. The citizens wouldn't care and Anna would take things over. Nothing bad would happen without her here.
She formed a shaft of sharp ice, closed her eyes tight, and pulled the make-shift blade across her wrist . Her body fell cold and her head spun until the world was black.