3.

The wind is grey and cold as the ship glides towards Svartalfheim and Thor instinctively holds his brother a little closer to keep him warm, even though he knows really how little Loki feels the cold. He remembers how he used to fear it all the same and would sneak into his room at night when he was very small, burrowing himself into Thor's covers and pressing his cold nose into his neck for warmth. He would never ask to be taken care of and Thor would never embarrass him by acknowledging that he was doing so. In truth he took more comfort in feeling that nuzzling, tentative closeness than as a child he could have ever admitted.

In the midst of such a maelstrom of feeling, of the wrenching at the heart from so much having changed, this at least seemed very familiar.

"Of course you are" Thor smiled and Loki could hear in his voice the wonderment that he could even asked – "But you know that. Surely I have told you enough times now?"

Loki frowns, he does not know it and does not even want to try and accept it right now –

"Perhaps you did –" he admits, grudgingly – "But it was in another life and a life lived so long ago – I struggle to remember." He says it dismissively, but Thor knows him better than that, he knows that dismissive in Loki is wistfulness in others.

"I can help you remember" he offers – "We can have those days back again yet". He feels Loki nearly laugh him down scornfully and Loki, though he cannot bring himself to agree with so foolishly hopeful a sentiment finds that he cannot quite shoot it down either. Instead he wriggles as though uncomfortably in Thor's arms – though both of them know he is far from uncomfortable –

"You don't have to try and keep me warm you know" he mock – grumbles – "As you will recall I don't feel the cold. I never did."

"I recall you sitting for hours on a plain in Jotunheim just to prove it to me. You could have just told me."

"It was not you I was proving it to" Loki laughs mirthlessly – "It makes so much more sense now."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a frost giant, remember?" His lips curl around the words with infinite scorn and self loathing and they still leave a bad taste in his mouth. Thor dodges the bait, uncertain whether dismissing this by pointing out how little it matters to him would anger Loki or comfort him. Neither is he willing to put importance on the subject, and replies only –

"And if you would remember I told you then it would not matter to me even if you were –"

"Yes –" Loki says, bitterly – "Even - I remember."

"It is still true." Thor rests his head to one side on top of Loki's, breathing in the smell and feel of him as something too long missed, and Loki too sighs and leans back against Thor, well aware that this chance for closeness will be gone before long and before either of them are ready.

"We have had too little time to talk of all things" Thor murmurs, regretfully and Loki frowns, opening his mouth to say something snide – we would have had more had you ever come to see me. But the time, even now, is too short and he does not want to begin a course of argument that will all the quicker move them from this position.

"Well perhaps we will" he says, not believing a word of it – "Perhaps when this is over there will be time for you to psycho-analyse me, work me out with your Midguardian interventions. See what you can do for this poor lost soul –"

"Loki hush –" Thor breathes out, hearing Loki descend further into meaningless sarcasm with every word – "We will fix this I swear. When we return home, we will fix this; I will be there if you want me – and if you don't - I will still be there, if you need me – you should know that by now."

"And what of her –" Loki tilts his head towards Jane with a faint sneer – "Where does she fit in?"

"She will fit in around you" Thor replies simply – "I will move the world to fit around you if I must. You are the only one –" but there is still a limit to how much Thor can give – "Nobody else is you" he rectifies, lamely. Loki arches an eyebrow and in return offers nothing but –

"What a relief for you all."

As the ship draws close to their destination it is Loki who sees Jane move and whimper in her sleep first, Thor is not looking at her at all. Loki yawns, in exaggerated preparation to become infinitely less comfortable than he is, and rubs his forehead roughly with clenched chained fists, as though to rub away at least some of the confusion therein. He pulls himself away from Thor heavily, turning round to look up at his brother's face, frowning back at the expression of puzzlement on Thor's face as Thor tries to work even a fraction of Loki out.

"Thank you" Loki says, quietly, not entirely certain what he is thanking Thor for, but kissing him very quickly beneath the eye and darting back to his spot on the other side of the ship's prow before Thor can question him about it. Only then does Thor notice Jane stirring and stands up quickly –

"Remember –" Thor says, quietly and urgently – "Protect Jane and protect yourself, I would rather die than see anything happen to either of you."

Loki rolls his eyes and is thankfully excused from making a reply by Jane's timely waking up and looking over at them.

_x_

Thor watches Loki fight with satisfaction and pride. He hears the lies he offers up to Malekith and it strikes him that Loki has never sounded less believable. His heart surges with hope for what this could mean, as he has not dared to hope yet. Loki fights closely and brutally and Thor can see the savage joy on his face at getting this opportunity to unleash and to do it against their mutual enemy. At the same time he moves like one in a dance and he crouches over Jane to protect her with entirely honest intent, purely because she is Thor's and he has asked Loki to do this. I had forgotten the loyalty in you – I had thought it dead, forgive me brother – he thinks and when Loki is endangered he flies to drag him out of harm's way without a second thought simply no, I will not have you taken from me again!

Unfortunately Loki's instincts are as sudden and as powerful as his own and no sooner is Thor fearing for his own life as he battles the Kursed but Loki is there and has saved him, standing before him for a split second with a look of such passionate triumph that Thor thinks – Yes! My brother is back and as he turns to smile at him with all of that golden warmth shining resplendent, put back into his heart, the Kursed turns too, skewering Loki on his own sword.

It may as well have been Thor's own heart on the end of the blade, certainly it stops beating, his eyes falling back into his head and the world spinning heavy and sickening. He catches Loki as he falls – I said I would, I said I would always catch you when you fall – roaring a torrent of denial to the gathering storm clouds. He wishes he could say the right thing, find the one perfect thing to say, then Loki says it to him –

"I didn't do it for him" and the heart he so carefully tried to guard breaks again and he wants to scream and shake him and call him an idiot – fool for thinking this could have helped me, fool to think I could live without you – again. You already died once and it killed me would you save me just to kill me again? Loki, brother, no –

But he cannot, by the time his brain has caught up with him it is already too late, he cannot even call him brother one last time so that Loki might know it. His head is numb and heavy as he rocks the little body in his arms and the clouds scream and crash their grief for it will not come out of him any other way

I'll stay – he thinks frantically – stay until you awake my brother or let this world take me too. It has already hollowed me out. Sleep my brother, sleep and rest, you must be so tired, yes my brother, rest – his tears fall onto Loki's face and he brushes them away tenderly that his brother might not feel the damp discomfort and he holds him tenderly, rocking him gently like the fractious child he had so often soothed to sleep that way. There is no thought in his mind of ever leaving until he hears a soft thump behind him and a weak voice calling his name and he turns reluctantly to see that Jane has fallen down from the storm, too strong for her to stand in –

"Thor –" she whimpers softly, struggling for the wind and the sand in her eyes – "Thor I'm so sorry but we have to go –"

Perhaps it is the fact that she is too weak even to stand unaided, or that she will die if they stay out in this. Perhaps it is the fact that she thought to say sorry before she even pointed out that they were not safe here – but her words get through to him the fact that he needs to get her to safety. He looks slowly from her back to Loki and back to her, thoughts coming to him only very slowly –

"I can't – I can't leave him –" he shakes with silent sobbing at the thought – "He could wake up – he could – come back –" he has little faith in his own protestations but his heart pleads to Loki's wherever it may be come back, come back, come back – he looks at her helplessly, pleadingly – "Jane, what do I do?"

She shakes her head back just as helpless, she does not know, there are tears in her eyes that are not the sand or the storm stinging her –

"I'm sorry Thor, I'm so sorry –" He can see her inwardly cursing her own helplessness and turns back to Loki. He feels cold and is pale as death; it is hard to imagine any coming back from this. Thor takes off his cloak and wraps Loki up in it gently, very gently, not wanting to hurt him or cause him any more distress. He wants to say something, something right for once, to mark the moment but all can offer up is a litany of frantic thoughts – there was still so much to say, forgive me, forgive me Loki, come back to me, goodbye – he wraps the cloak around him completely, like a shroud – take my cloak for warmth little brother, take it to fight off the dark, don't be afraid my brother, I will not go far and I will come straight back for you –

There is just one wrong left that he can right, before he covers Loki's face he kisses him softly on the forehead and whispers against the cold skin –

"Forgive me brother."

He cannot remember the last time he said it.

_x_

For Loki it feels like waking and at first he wonders what has happened and where he is. It's dark and he feels trapped and cannot see. He fights against the material enveloping him until he looks out on the dark world and remembers. He remembers what he did and is frightened at the purity of his own intentions, then he realises that he alone and becomes angry. Shortly on the heels of anger comes warmth and the realisation that this is Thor's cloak he has been unwrapping from himself and a memory that is more like the memory of a dream of Thor kissing him on the forehead and calling him brother. Though that may not have happened, he realises he may only have been convincing himself that happened because he would have liked it to.

Quick on the heels of the flurry of emotions comes the realisation that he is alive and free and has his own ways back into Asgard, it is on this new tide of ideas and planning that he shrouds himself in illusion and begins to smile.

Before he leaves he picks the cloak up from the ground, transforming it into his outfit.

Indeed he thinks, pre-emptively and in answer to something he did not quite hear – forgive me brother.

_x_

Sorry about the tragedy here people, needless to say it can only get better….eventually. Of course the next chapter will be post Dark World. :-)