The first half of the ride home was spent in dead silence. Not a single word was spoken, nor one sound was uttered as the passengers and driver all either stewed silently in their misery or simply struggled to try and numbly understand what just happened.
Frankie's hands trembled as she clutched the steering wheel, making it very plain she was hurting terribly from the merciless tongue-lashing she had just received. Compounding her agony though was the knowledge that she had failed her vow to try and break the news to Mac as best as possible. Now that he had just found out the terrible fate that possibly awaited him in the absolute worst way she could ever conceive, all the mortified young woman could do was wait and see how he handled it. It would probably do little use to check up and ask herself; her good intentions had caused enough damage as it was.
As she piloted the bus, every now and then she would pass a quick glance into the rear-view mirror to observe the heartbreakingly pitiful little huddle two seats directly behind her. Goo and Bloo sat respectively on either side of Mac, with the normally unbelievably chatty little girl saying not a word as she hugged her legs and scooted as close to her friend as she could, while the little imaginary friend actually had his little arms partially draped about his creator in a protective hold.
Both of the ashen-faced little ones were obviously still reeling horribly with shock while they desperately fought to comprehend what they just learned. Bloo, incomparably faithful when it counted, was already gripped by the overwhelming fear that history was about to repeat itself, and once again he was to lose Mac to forces completely beyond his control. Goo meanwhile strove in vain to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes as she lay currently trapped in the clutches of denial, unwilling to accept the fact that it was possible she would be without the one real friend she ever had.
All the while, right in between the two distraught souls sat who was undeniably the most devastated of them all. On the outside Mac was nothing more than a child stunned to the point of near-prettification. Inside though, it was a chaotic hell that was beyond description, as he was wracked with shock and the intense fear that his whole world was about to be turned upside down, yet again.
When he suddenly glanced up at the young woman driving the bus though, another ingredient was suddenly added to the witch's brew that was his anguish; fury. According to what he had just witnessed, they had been in trouble with social services for at least several days now. Why didn't Frankie tell him they were in such a horrid dilemma, even when he suspected something was wrong?
The more he mulled upon this, with every lie she had fed him for the past week that he recalled, the exceedingly betrayed he felt, and soon, his anger over the deception he had suffered skyrocketed to the point where that was all he could feel was the fury surging through every vein. Suddenly unable to bottle it in any longer, the boy pushed his friends aside, stood up, looked over the seat, and demanded,
"…Why didn't you tell me?"
Although she had been bracing herself for this moment, Frankie's heart still ached once she sensed the betrayal that saturated his tone.
Wracked by sharps pangs of guilt, the young woman murmured as she turned a corner, "Pal, I……I just -"
"Why?" the boy demanded. "You thought I couldn't handle it?"
"No!" she sputtered. "Mac, no! It's…it's just…it's just that…"
As she fumbled clumsily over her words in a vain attempt to explain her blunder, she could feel almost his piercing gaze skewer her through the back.
"It's just that what?" Mac asked flatly as the tears started to well up in his eyes.
"Mac, it's not because I didn't think you couldn't handle it….it's just…in the past year alone you've been through so much, I……I…I just didn't think it was fair that after everything we've faced-"
"So you lied to me?" the boy inquired accusingly, forcing her to uncontrollably wince.
"Mac-" she tried to beg, as hot tears began to trickle down his cheeks.
"So you made up that stupid story about a friend who never existed?" Mac demanded. "So you never told me why my teacher talked to me about my black eye, even though you know exactly why? So-"
"Mac, I know I didn't handle this well at all, all right?" Frankie strove to defend herself. "But I…I just…"
"Just what?"
"…I-I…I only did it because I care." She finished lamely, all-too-aware her answer didn't have a shot of convincing him.
"Care about me so much you can't even tell me what's going on?" Mac just snapped stubbornly at her woefully clichéd answer. Frankie clenched one of her fists tightly and banged it upon the steering wheel, forcing Goo and Bloo to jump in their seats a little.
"Mac Foster, that's not what I meant, and you know it!" she scolded harshly. "You watch your tone-"
"Then what do you mean?" Mac snapped. "You actually think it was better that I didn't know about any of this? I thought you trusted me-"
"Mac, please, I didn't mean for this to happen! I knew I had to tell you sometime, but…this was…I..I couldn't bring myself to…this was just so serious-"
"So serious you don't think I could've handled it if you told me?" he shot back.
"No!" she snapped involuntarily. "Mac please, I know I messed up, but-"
Unfortunately, it was no use for her to try and protest. The very idea that he had been so deceived was far too much for the little boy to deal with, and as his fury reached its pinnacle, Mac sputtered viciously,
"Maybe she was right! You have no idea what you're doing!"
It was only after the words had rolled of his tongue though did he actually realize what he had just said, to who of all people. Moments later his rage was displaced by a wave of deep regret, and his tone rapidly softened to a barely audible squeak as he whimpered softly,
"F-Frankie, I…"
Unfortunately, it was all too clear that the damage had already been done; the boy's allegation had stung her deeply. As a tear trickled down her cheek, she glanced up into the rear-view mirror at the little boy. Mac cringed and whined,
"I-I'm sor-"
Suddenly, her gaze hardened, and with a spsnarl, the young woman ordered,
"Not another word!"
Obediently the mortified little boy did as bid, and hastily buried his face in his hands. As Goo and Bloo tried to stay out of the line of sight infuriated caretaker as they hugged their friend grimly, again the bus descended into a deafening quiet, broken only by the sound of muffled sobs.
The rest of the trip home was completed without a single word spoken, from the conclusion of the epic row on the bus to when they had all filed into the foyer of the Victorian mansion, with Frankie taking up the rear. After she closed the door behind her, her attention was focused immediately to the little boy standing a few feet away. As she glared daggers at him, Mac tried to wipe away the tears in his eyes as he murmured,
"I'm sorr-"
"Go to your room." Frankie ordered flatly as she pointed up the stairs with a noticeably trembling arm.
"I-I didn't mean to!" the little boy sobbed. "I'm s-"
"Go to your room, Mac Foster!" the infuriated redhead, burst out yelling.
"I d-didn't mean to!" Mac only persisted, as twin rivulets flowed down his cheeks. "P-please, I…I-I…I-"
"To your room! NOW!" Frankie cut him off yet again with another fierce bellow.
As his tears flowed unchecked, the child just stared at her dumbly until much to her surprise, his eyes narrowed into a furious glower the likes of which she had never seen grace his face before.
"F-first you lie to me…a-and then…and th-then, you d-don't even let me…y-you don't…" Mac sputtered, until finally, hopelessly overcome with deep frustration that threatened to consume him on the spot if he tried to contain it any longer, he lashed out furiously,
"And n-none of this would've happened if y-you could control yourself for once in your life! Now look at where we-"
"Mac Foster, go to your-" she only started to repeat herself before he stomped his foot and yelled angrily,
"This is all your fault! I-I…I h-hate you! I-I hate you!"
Never even in her worst nightmares would Frankie have ever expected him to say the unthinkable; it felt as if a red-hot dagger was plunged straight into her heart and then twisted, creating unspeakable agony. Unable to believe at first what she had just heard from the mouth of the child who she loved so deeply, she was snapped out of her fury, but only to plunge into a shocked silence.
Meanwhile, with warm tears of rage still streaming, Mac fled up the stairs, desperately struggling to hold back his bawling until he was out of sight. Without even passing the others a quick glance, Bloo instinctively followed, racing hot on his best friend's heels.
As the pair made a swift exit, Goo remained where she stood, confused and frightened by what she had just witnessed. Finally, afraid that Frankie would burst out screeching again in redoubled fury, the child whirled about and raced through the front door, lest she bore the brunt of the caretaker's rage.
The little one's hasty exit however had been for naught. Instead of exploding with fury, the young woman merely stood there silently for a few minutes, stunned to the point of immobility, with the tears streaking down her cheeks as Mac's words continued to ring loud and clear in her ears, cutting her to the core as she strove furiously to understand what she had just done.
Suddenly, she threw back her head and compacted all her frustration, her anger, her guilt, and the overwhelming sense that she was utterly powerless to halt all the forces in motion against her into one animalistic scream that echoed to the lowest depths of hell and the highest reaches of the heavens as for one moment, it was all just far too much for her to bear.
"AAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHH!"
The instant he heard the hoarse cry, recognition hit Wilt like a thunderbolt. Without even thinking, he dropped his glass of water, allowing it to shatter into a hundred shards upon the floor as he bolted from the kitchen and sprinted as quickly as he could onto the scene.
"Frankie? Frankie, is that you? What's wrong?" he cried as he skidded clumsily into the foyer.
Alas, he was far too late; she had long since collapsed to her knees, with face buried in her hands as she was reduced to an inconsolable mess.
"…Are you sure she can't come to the phone? I just…what? She's asleep? But couldn't you…okay, okay, I understand…yes…okay… honest, I'm so sorry for frightening her like that, I……yes, I promise, never again…c-could you just check on her once more to…all right, all right…I'll try tomorrow…th-thank you so much for understanding…I'm so sorry about everything today…g-goodbye…"
Frankie hung up her cell phone and tossed it to the other side of her bedroom with a groan. It had been no less than the third time today she had spoken to Goo's mother, who had been absolutely appalled when her grief-stricken daughter had arrived home. The first phone call had been little more than the outraged woman almost screaming continuously at the caretaker for nearly half-an-hour straight. Only after Frankie basically begged for forgiveness and sputtered out a barely comprehensible explanation did the girl's mother seemed to understand. Unfortunately, as far as she knew, Goo was still too frightened to even go near the telephone, no matter how many times the twenty-three-year-old called back in search of absolution.
With her nightgown rustling about her, the exhausted twenty-three year-old walked over to her lamp, flicked off the light, and then allowed herself to tumble backwards upon her bed, landing with arms outstretched and a despondent sigh. There were no words in any tongue that could describe the combination crushing sense of failure and excruciating guilt that consumed her. To say that she felt horrific for what she drove Mac to earlier would hardly do any justice in depicting her anguish.
Hope that she would get through this ordeal now seemed to be little more than naïve wishing; the investigation was still underway, and what would a certain overzealous social worker probably find when she stopped in for a surprise visit? Only the justification to revoke custody that she sought in the form of a betrayed little boy who now despised his hopelessly ill-tempered guardian.
She groaned, curled up onto her side and hugged her legs tightly. Even though hot tears of bitter defeat had already started to stream down her cheeks, Frankie was so caught up in ruthlessly berating herself that she had yet to notice that she was silently weeping.
Who else was there to to blame for this nightmare? It was she who could never properly control herself whenever it mattered most. It was she who gave others reason to believe she was little more than an abusive monster. It was she who was the mastermind behind her own downfall.
The heartbroken redhead continued to silently cry as she was nearly swallowed up by total desolation, aware of nothing except her vast grief. Thus, she didn't even notice the slight creak as her bedroom door was nudged open, nor even notice the lanky silhouette slide into the room until it inquired cautiously as it fidgeted nervously,
"…Frankie? M-Madame Foster wanted to be to make sure if…if you're doing okay, and-"
Without even thinking, she tossed her hands up over her face and half choked, half snarled,
"L-leave me alone!"
Her angry cry didn't stand a chance in trying to dissuade the stubbornly loyal imaginary friend. As her weeping escalated into full-fledged sobs, Wilt darted over, sat himself atop her mattress, and started patting her back gently as he sent his mind racing desperately for any words that could even alleviate her misery even the slightest bit.
"F-Frankie…"
Unfortunately, not only could the poor creature come up with anything, as dearly as he wanted to, she was so enveloped in her anguish she probably couldn't hear him as her despair enveloped her.
How could she possibly even think that she could turn this around? It was only her now; a foul-tempered, single girl, fighting a losing struggle all by herself. Who could she possibly turn to now when she only kept driving others away? She couldn't even count on the support of the one she was trying to protect at all costs, she remembered as Mac's words echoed in her mind.
"This is all your fault…I h-hate you…"
Even time she replayed the moment, the fateful phrase still tore her up like a thousand knives. After all, as much as it agonized her to admit it, he seemed to have spoken nothing but the truth. She was the root of this whole mess, and despite her best attempts, the only fruit of her reward she could reap from all the effort she poured into protecting a the child from her own blunder was the fact that he now probably abhorred her with a passion.
Now, despite the terror and misery the child was suffering through at that very moment at least equaled her own, and the fact that his bedroom was only right across the hall, she couldn't even comfort him; he had successfully avoided her ever since they returned home, with little wonder as to why. Despite all they had been through, now because she couldn't control herself for so much as ten seconds, he probably could scarcely bear to even be on the same floor as her after-
"…F-Frankie?"
Both she and Wilt nearly jumped clean out of their skins in surprise as the barely audible but unmistakable inquiry suddenly flittered in from the doorway. Wilt jerked his head around as the startled woman hastily rolled over and found to her immense shock, there stood the little boy who she had just convinced herself absolutely spurned her more than anything else at that moment, with, his distraught wreck of an imaginary blob standing right behind him. For a couple moments, they all just stared into one another's red, puffy tear-strained features.
"H-hey…" the flummoxed young woman finally broke the unbearable silence as she slowly sat upright on her bed. For a few moments, they all continued to stare at each other wordlessly until Mac, trembling with fright, whispered softly without a trace of his earlier fury,
"F-Frankie?"
"Yeah?" she answered gently, watching a solitary tear gleaming in the moonlight as it trickled down the child's face as he managed to whimpered in a cracked squeak,
"I…I-I don't want to go…"
As he burst out crying, Frankie instinctively hopped off her bed and dropped to her knees, all the while praying desperately she was no longer a hated liar in the boy's eyes. To her joy and relief, her over-exaggerated worries were all for naught, for her feet had scarcely touched the floor when Mac bolted over and threw his arms around her neck, as she likewise enveloped him in a tight hug.
"Frankie, I'm sorry …" he whimpered between sobs so powerful his entire body shook. "I…I didn't mean to say…I was angry and…I-I didn't…I-I…don't really…I'm s-sorry Frankie, I'm sorry…it's not y-your fault that they won't believe you, it's just…I'm sorry…I-I don't really-"
"I know you don't, pal, I-I know." Frankie hushed reassuringly as she stroked his head delicately. "I'm sorry, Mac, I'm sorry… I shouldn't have yelled at you like that…I should have never tried to hide any of this from you…I'm sorry Mac…"
While the tears cascaded unchecked down his cheeks, the distraught child hugged her tighter and burrowed his head under her chin, trying desperately to take advantage of all the refuge her embrace could provide as he started whimpering with fright.
"I d-don't want to go…I-I don't want them to take me …I don't w-w-want to go, F-Frankie…I d-don't…I want to stay h-here at home, with…with you and Bloo, and…I-I don't really h-hate you, I…"
Wracked with terror, he trailed off and after a burst of effort was only able to utter more than a barely comprehensible whisper. At first Frankie was at a loss for words, as if she couldn't believe it. Only after a moment though, she promptly tightened her embrace and murmured gently in reply,
"I-I love you too…"
At this point they both broke down completely, weeping freely in their shared distress. As Mac rested her head against his shoulder, Frankie glanced up, and although nearly blinded with tears, she still could spot Bloo perched in the doorway, unsure of what to do other than watch. Immediately she gestured for him to come over; their pain was his too.
The distraught figment needed no second bidding, and within moments the young woman had one arm firmly draped about each one, as Bloo clumsily attempted to hug both her and his creator. With the weepy pair safe in her grasp, Frankie managed to clamber to her feet and awkwardly carried them over to her bed, where she sat Indian-style atop her bed sheets as she continued to hold them close. Wilt wordlessly wrapped a winding scarlet arm about her shoulders as they grouped into a misery-stricken huddle.
In spite of her anguish, Frankie could at least take the faintest solace; even in the midst of so much gloom, at least the child was here for her to try and comfort, even if she could only assuage his gloom just the faintest bit. Determined to try and least stave off some of the despair that engulfed them, she tried to choke back the tears and clear her throat before she started crooning hoarsely,
"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping,
I dreamed I held you in my arms,
So I hung my head and I cried,
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray,
You'll never know dear, how much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away…"
Recognizing the familiar tune that she always liked to sing to him when he was ill, Mac whimpered as he hugged her tighter. On she went, through verse after verse, rocking back and forth as she held the two so tightly it was as if she'd lose them forever the instant she let go.
"…In all my dreams dear, you seem to leave me,
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back, and make me happy,
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…"
Whether she continued singing for just a few minutes, or even an hour, she didn't know. Even when the two little ones had finally sobbed themselves into an uneasy sleep, the lullaby continued to reverberate out the room and echo into the hallway, as she sung so mournfully it almost became a dirge, lamenting the destruction of her family that now seemed all but inevitable to the despondent girl.
"…You'll never know dear, h-how much I love you,
P-please don't take my sunshine away…"
Quick note – yeah, I've used that song before, but actually I got the idea for A Shock in the Dark from a drabble I never posted where Frankie sings the same tune to Mac while he's sick. Plus, I just felt like that it really fit here.
Just felt like clarifying! Big apologies to everyone who I told I'd have this chapter up last week!