num·in·ous
adjective
describing an experience that makes you fearful yet fascinated, awed yet attracted-the powerful, personal feeling of being overwhelmed and inspired.
Six hours of non-stop driving. Except of course, stopping to get gas. But it took me more than six hours to get from Sacramento to L.A. Why did I do it? I don't know. I guess this was a good excuse to go see my best friend I haven't seen in over three years. I stopped at his house, praying to god this was still his address. I checked my watch, and it read 10:01am. I rang the doorbell in my pajamas, with no shoes, and looking like a complete mess. The next thing I knew, I was standing face to face with him. I was looking straight at Anthony. His face was swollen from hours spent crying, he had burns all over his arms and a few on his face. Some looking like the flesh was still raw. I fell into him, into his embrace that I haven't felt in what seemed like an eternity. I let a few teardrops fall down my face and onto his shirt.
"Anthony-" I started, but he shushed me, still holding me in his embrace. I let go, and I looked up at him. I could see his eyes welling up with tears again. He invited me inside, and it was just like it used to be… except for one thing. There was a whole area piled up with baby toys and equipment. I looked at him, only to see him looking at the ground. "I am so sorry." I said each word with genuine sincerity. "I know how hard this is for you-" but he cut me off again.
"Don't give me that. Don't say you know, because you don't. You didn't lose the one you love. You didn't lose your baby. She's gone, Ian. Sh-she's… she's…" His lips were quivering and forehead was crinkled together. I couldn't see his eyes behind the thick layer of tears building up.
"You think I don't know what it's like to lose someone I love, Anthony? Because I sure as hell do know how it feels. I wish I could tell you it would get better, but it WON'T. It only gets worse overtime! Don't listen to bullshit people say about it getting better. Because it NEVER will!" What did I just say? Why did I just say that? I saw the look of disbelief on his face, followed by anger and disappointment.
"Why are you here, then?! To come tell me that it won't get better? I thought, out of all people, you would be the one that is there for me! I thought you would be the one to support me, Ian! Why are you making this about you? It's not always about you! IT'S NOT!" His voice scared me. I know I said something terribly wrong, but it was the truth.
"Anthony, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I was just-"
"You were just what, Ian? Upset? Angry? You were what? What makes you think you can talk like that in my house? I've missed you Ian. But I didn't know you changed."
"Yes, I changed. People change. Actually, I didn't even bother stepping out of my house for one whole week, the streak breaker being the lack of food!" I couldn't help but get angry. He never felt what I felt, and he thinks he can go blaming me for changing? "You want to know what happened to me? I'll tell you. I hung on to that promise you made a few years back. I held onto it, and I believed it. I believed that you would come back, but you didn't. You never even bothered calling!" I was on the verge of tears, but I managed to hold them back. "You don't know the half of it. You can get mad at me all you want for being insensitive, but that's how I've felt for the past years." There was a long pause, turning into an awkward silence. "Look, I came here because I wanted to make sure you were okay. Hearing the news about Kalel devastates me. It does, because she was an amazing person. I could see how she looked at you and I could see that she loved you. I'm here to support you, Anthony. Whatever it takes. I'll be here."
I was in a tight embrace with Anthony, and he whispered a small "thank you" in my ear that made my stomach ache.
I'm sorry for the chapters being so short :c
If they're too long, they'd be too draggy. But I'll try to make them longer! c: