Mostly sex. Usual warnings regarding this fic apply. :-)

2.

Thor lays Loki down on his bed so gently Loki looks up at him nervously, almost frightened. They are no longer shielded by the shadows like last time, the room is warm and golden and there is nothing they cannot see. It frightens Loki, knowing that Thor intends to make his feelings perfectly clear and knowing that he will not hide his own even with the parts of him that want to. He knows it for when Thor bends over to kiss him he leans towards him with open arms and his lips tingle beneath his brothers, painfully and deliriously needing the kiss. He does not want to take the time, or fumble in a divesting of clothing he knows will only make him awkward and so passes a hand across the both of them without touching that renders them both instantly naked, vestments falling around them like a flurry of autumn leaves.

Thor has a fleeting look of disappointment at how quickly the deed was done and Loki feels a deep terrible pang of inadequacy, hating himself for his own uncertainty, for the memories that will not wholly leave him. Memories that laugh at him, telling him this will not go well, that this will hurt him, that he deserves to be hurt and should expect nothing less. He is not sure what scares him more – that Thor will hurt him or that he will not. Last time went too fast for him to think too much and he half wishes it could be the same again; but the other half is stronger, the braver half, that knows this must be done. He bites his lip hard, hating himself for being so weak, for letting something good be sullied by such stupid things having happened to him.

"I'm –" he starts to say, but Thor brushes a hand across his mouth refusing to let him say sorry for this, realising suddenly what has been going through Loki's head and pausing to drop and lie beside him, guiding Loki round until they are lying facing each other.

"Loki" he murmurs, so sweetly, almost reverently that Loki hangs his head in shame in response. Thor frowns and takes Loki's face in his hand, forcing him to look up though is stabs at his heart to see those shimmering eyes so afraid and unsure – "My Loki, my beautiful little brother, you do not look down to me, nor to anyone, dear one."

"Oh Thor –" Loki sighs – "I do not –"

"Shh" Thor silences him, knowing anything he says will not be true and will be hideously unfair upon himself – "I'm not going to hurt you Loki, I would never hurt you –" Loki frowns at him – "Unless you wanted me to" Thor adds – "And we do not have to do anything you do not want –" Loki shakes his head –

"I want" he insists, and pleased to see Thor give a sigh of relief at that, he smiles – "And I'm not breakable, trust me." Thor smiles;

"This time I will then". He kisses Loki until his lips are sore and he does not care, holding him close but so that when his hands fall to exploring the once familiar territory of Loki's body his eyes can follow. Those eyes prick to see the changes wrought into the once flawless skin. He remembers a time when he felt his touch was the only thing that stained that pale perfection. But now that same skin is a landscape of silvery scars and his hands as they travel Loki's back feel the soft tender skin amongst a meshwork of knotted scar tissue. His fingers tremble and he buries his face in Loki's chest that he may not see the tears that spring to his eyes, tears of loss and anger. Anger at those who did this and anger at himself for not having known or been able to prevent it. He rains desperate kisses across his brother's chest and shoulders, aching to kiss away every scar and render it gone and Loki feels the damp upon his skin and does not apologise this time.

Thor's fingers trace the mesh and wish for the magic to erase it all, but sorrow does not lessen his longing, if anything he needs Loki now more than ever.

"If I could only –" he begins, but Loki shakes his head at him;

"Don't" he says again – "Just do what can be done."

"I love you Loki"

Loki blinks at him, unable to hide from that intent honest gaze, or hide the fear it injects into his eyes.

"I love you" Thor repeats, not giving Loki the chance to deny it or argue, scream or cry, knowing it is more than difficult for him to hear but not about to let him off just on account of the difficulty. Loki shakes his head, in earnest this time as his heart battles disbelief and feels the bruises of it –

"Please stop"

Thor frowns wondering if he is referring to his saying it or his doing it, either way, he shakes his head in gentle dismissal –

"Never"

He feels Loki's fingers tense, claw like where those hands are clasped around his back and feeling the tension spread throughout the little body beneath him he tenses in return prepared for Loki to hiss and spit and fight him off for this. He watches the struggle, like a sky clouding and clearing across his face and smiles himself when the clouds part and he can feel Loki first forcing himself to relax and then, as Thor strokes his hip with infinite gentleness, relax for real. He kisses the hot forehead and gently strokes the cock that has stayed hard in spite of the surging panic and his heart sings to know that it means more than just that Loki is continuing to offer him his body but that he is doing so in the tentative acceptance of this terrifying awareness that Thor will not let him avoid.

He does not push this acceptance with further words, aware that this is enough, indeed more than he could have hoped to ask and besides the demands of his body are now far too strong to ignore. Loki moans in several different shades of relief as Thor presses his cock against his thigh, trickling oil over his fingers and pushing Loki's legs up firmly to give him access. He hisses in an almost surprised shudder of pleasure to feel the first finger play gently at his opening, the hiss spreading into a groan of delight as Thor slides the finger inside, followed by another, scissoring him open so gently he is almost ready to cry, both from the tenderness and with impatience. He glares up at Thor with eyes that brim and beg him not to make him say please. Thor grins, he knows that look of old and knows what it means, he takes his time intentionally, even if it is just as frustrating to himself, it is worth it to hear Loki say please.

"Bastard" Loki hisses, as though the words have actually passed between them in more than just the eyes – "I won't. I won't beg."

"You will" Thor growls, smugly, but also simply factually – "You will, for me, brother, I know you."

Loki clamps his lips firmly together, but even that resolution is broken when Thor kisses him again and his spare hand squeezes at his cock, torturing him, willing him to break like he knows Loki want, needs to break. Loki shakes his head and makes a stubborn noise of denial until Thor begins teasing him with the head of his cock and Loki's eyes start to stream stubborn tears of wanting.

"Please" he whispers, lips curling in an angry sneer around the barely audible whisper. Thor grins.

"Please what little brother?"

Loki's hands flail uselessly, grasping at air and then sinking his nails into the muscles of Thor's back and hissing in his ear –

"Please fuck me, Thor, fuck your little brother"

It is more than Thor needs and he thrusts in completely, sinking deep into Loki as they both scream with the intense delight of it.

"Good" Thor grits out – "Good Loki, good".

All objection to being called good flies at being filled with Thor's cock and Loki clings to him, screaming, letting himself be fucked, letting himself be good, letting himself love every thrust, every touch every second. He does not even realise he is crying until he wonders why Thor's shoulder is wet and his body arches and shimmers with the pleasure of letting go like this, Thor holding him in those arms he could never be taken from, that nobody could fight and win, holding him as though they are still as young and curiously innocent in their lust as they once were and at the same time stroking him to soothe what feels like a millennia of aches.

"My Loki" Thor whispers gently, while the sweat drips from his forehead and he rams into him with savage wild need and it is the whisper that has Loki coming with tears streaming from his eyes but falling back down into the sheets smiling, head humming, body shaking divinely as Thor pours his hot seed into him, growling his ecstasy into Loki's hair.

He falls onto his back and when he opens his eyes moments later it is to find Loki now leaning over him, his face reflective, possible melancholic as he studies the changes now in Thor's body, his fingers tracing scars that were not there before. He watches Loki's eyes flutter in consternation as he gently strokes a deep short scar just above his hip. He bites his lip and lowers his eyes –

"I'd like to kill the person who did that to you" he murmurs. Thor frowns and replies gently –

"Loki you did that to me."

Loki raises his head and there is a sharp sparking look in his eyes –

"I know" he says.

Thor meets his sorrowful gaze and the memory passes between them –

"Sentiment" Loki whispers, tears in his eyes, starting to streak down his face as he plunges the dagger into Thor's side and Thor does not even feel the dagger his screams so in agony to have Loki turned against him like this and still to see the tragedy etched into his face, and he falls –

"Loki" he murmurs now, pulling Loki gently back up the bed until his brother's face is buried into his neck in the place at Thor's side where he belongs. Thor strokes his hair and Loki can almost feel the soothing going into his brain – "It's alright Loki, it's done. It's done. That person you'd kill? I won't let you. I won't let you even hurt him. He does not deserve it"

"Does he not?" Loki returns, genuinely seeking an answer. Thor frowns, so much love caught in all the lines that even Loki can see it –

"My Loki" he whispers in reply – "You do not."

Loki does not think he quite believes it, he is not sure he ever will, but he curls into Thor as he always has done and decides that he can take it for now.

_x_

So I pretty much wrote this whole thing for that one exchange where Loki wants to kill whoever hurt Thor. That exchange was my motivation for what's turned into like 20,000 words! I swear I don't know what's happening to me! There are still I think maybe two chapters of this to go though! :-)