con·tri·tion
noun
the state of feeling remorseful and penitent.

As I slowly pulled up on my driveway, I looked over to my right to reveal a sleeping Anthony with his head leaning on the window. I spent time looking at him, smiling to myself, realizing that I liked him a lot better when he didn't look stressed out. Whether it was seconds, minutes or hours, I lightly tapped him on the shoulder and whispered, "We're here."

His eyes opened sleepily and let out a moan of exhaustion. He looked over at me and smiled weakly, and looked at the house sitting in front of him. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I could see he was looking at it in regret.

"It's been a... a long time." he said. I nodded in agreement. "Ian," he turned to me. "I'm so sorry for leaving like that. It's just... I just couldn't be with you." What? I was confused. "She got upset." I'm assuming she is Kalel. "She didn't mind me coming to you, but it was coming to Sacramento every week. She just... thought she wasn't spending enough time with me." Please. Kalel never liked me. I always thought she was a good person, but she just never liked me.

"It's okay Anthony. You're-" but he cut me off.

"NO!" he protested. "Ian, it's not okay! You're just saying that! It is not okay! Ian, I left you! You were my best friend, and I promised I would come back! It's been three fucking years without you! I missed you! I tried calling, but I was afraid that when you answered the phone, you wouldn't talk to me like my best friend! I'm so sorry, Ian! I-" and I did exactly what he did to me.

"ANTHONY!" I yelled at him. He looked at me with teary eyes that haven't changed since I saw him the day before. I looked into them, noticing the regret filled inside him, and I pulled him into my arms. As he accepted my hug, it felt like hours. I closed my eyes, letting my other senses do the work, feeling his arms wrapped around me. "It's okay, Anthony. Anthony, I'm here now. You're here." As he let go, he looked into my eyes. The smile he gave me was weak, and meaningful. "Are you ready?" I asked him. He hesitantly nodded, and slowly stepped out of the car, eyes locked onto the house. As I grabbed his luggage, I walked in front of him, cueing him to follow.

When we walked into the house, Anthony observed it closely, taking a while to have a look around the living room. "Wow…" He said. "Nothing's changed." The look of recall on his face made me feel unsure. What if this wasn't a good idea? What if this would just make him sadder?

"Do you want a drink?" I asked politely. He shook his head, and walked around, observing the things he's already seen before.

"I really missed this place." He whispered. I looked over at him, staring a picture of us from when we were 18, and he let out a small chuckle. "You kept this?" I couldn't help but smile.

"Of course I did. You really thought I'd throw that out?" I stood close to him, looking at the same picture.

"Your bowl is ridiculous." He stated. I never thought hearing something like that come from Anthony would make me feel so happy. A large smile crept up on my face, while still staring at the photo. I let out a small laugh, earning a look from Anthony. A small smile formed on his face.

"What?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing." I lied.

"No, seriously. What?" He insisted.

"Well," I began. "it's just that I haven't heard you say that in years. You know… hearing it now was just… It felt…" I couldn't talk. I couldn't talk anymore. The voice got stuck in my throat, a force not allowing it to pass through. It was my turn. It was my turn to cry. It was my turn to feel pain again. It was my turn to have Anthony embrace me.

"Ian…" He started.

"I'm fine." I said, wiping tears. "I'm fine." I gave him a forced smile. "I'm okay." The smile was unconvincing as another tear slid down my face, quickly wiping it off.

"Ian, stop." He stepped closer to me. "Please… don't cry." Taking another step, his thumb reached my face to wipe away a falling tear. The touch of his hand made me close me eyes. What is he doing? Why is he doing this? I opened my mouth to say something, but his other hand came up to shush me. When I opened my eyes, I saw his brown eyes staring straight into mine. The stare was filled with so many emotions. I couldn't break away the connection. I felt it. It felt like something just… clicked. It felt like I fell into a pool of water after being dehydrated for so long. It felt like coming back to life. It felt like love "I uh…" He stuttered, not leaving the gaze. "I have to go to the bathroom." And at that, he looked away, and walked towards the bathroom.