ver·i·ty
noun
a true principle or belief, esp. one of fundamental importance.
I was left standing there, holding my breath. I started feeling dizzy after the lack of intake of oxygen. I took a sharp, deep and separated breath and walked to the couch where I sat. I can't stop thinking about it. The way he looked at me... it felt real. It felt like love. No. He can't love me. He never will. Wishing for Anthony Padilla to love me is like asking medicine not to treat you. I'm just getting my hopes up too high…
I heard the bathroom door open as I saw Anthony step out. I moved over to the side, inviting him to sit next to me. The couch sank a little as I felt the weight of Anthony on the couch. I looked over at him, seeing his eyes stare at the blank TV screen. "...Are you okay?" I hesitated to ask. He lightly nodded his head and looked straight at me, giving me the smallest, but sweetest smile.
"Yeah… yeah, I'm fine." The silence was still, and I could hear everything around me. I could hear my heart beating fast. I could hear Anthony's steady breath. I could hear my thoughts screaming at me to kiss him. It was perfect. The moment was infinite.
With our eyes being met again, I thought to myself how I couldn't get enough of the chocolate brown eyes that looked at me. They're just so… beautiful. They're flawless. They're unlimited. I found myself slowly moving forward towards Anthony, wanting nothing else but him. As Anthony turned to face me, his eyebrows furrowed and he looked… confused? Worried?
"Ian…" Anthony whispered as slow as one could possibly say my name. My heart skipped a beat when the sound came out of his mouth. What was he going to say? Was he upset with me? Oh god. I need to make an excuse.
"You have a… you have an eyelash on your cheek." I tried to cover up. I sighed and I just looked at him. "Are you ready to go, Ant?"
"Go where?"
"I don't know. An adventure." I smiled and got up, reaching out my hand to get him up. His face looked confused.
"Ian, I'm tired." He complained.
"I know, I know! You don't think I am? I spent the last few hours driving from L.A. to Sacramento! We need to get our minds off of everything right now." I insisted, basically begging him to get up. "Come on, Anthony. You're the one that has always wanted to do something–I don't know–spontaneous!"
"Spontaneous?" Anthony asked, unsure.
"Yes! Now, let's go!"
"Ian, that's not a good idea. I don't want to go." He simply rejected. "I'm tired and I want to rest. Please…"
"Okay, fine. I'll go to my room. If you want you can sleep on the couch or the extra room. Your choice." I said, upset. Well, I mean I understand. I just want to get my mind off of everything. It's too much for me.
"If you want we can go tomorrow?" I could hear the pity and guilt in his voice.
"Nah, man." I smiled. "You're tired and I understand. We don't need to push it."
"But I want to."
"You said you were tired."
"Who knows if I'll be as tired as I am now tomorrow!"
"Ant, we need to sleep." As I start walking to my bedroom, I hear him speak.
"Ian, don't ignore what's there." Confused, I turn around and look at him with furrowed eyebrows and a tilted head. "Don't ignore it. I can see how hard you're trying to brush aside the feelings I can feel. You're not upset because I left. You're upset because I left with Kalel. I know, Ian. I know how you're feeling."