Listen to Mr. Brightside - The Killers while reading this one ;)

I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS HERE.

I'm coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine.

Gotta, gotta get down because I want it all.

My feelings for him bloomed when I found my feet on his porch, my knuckle inches from knocking on the oak door of the Originals' mansion. I had watched Caroline and Stefan enough times to know that I only needed to listen harder for my vampire hearing to activate itself. And using this, I found that only Elijah and someone else were inside. The other was a female, not Rebekah. This one's breathing was rough and uneven. Honestly, I couldn't have cared less about who it was.

That was when I let my mind wander.

It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this?

It was only a kiss… it was only a kiss…

When we first met, he had almost kissed me. I knew that he was planning to, because just before he lowered his nose to smell my neck, his lip had brushed against mine. It was as light as a balloon slipping off water, but it had been enough to send a shiver down my spine. I knew why he had done it though. He thought I was Katherine, his beloved Katerina, being her doppelganger and all. He had done it to find out whether I was human or not.

But now, after all that's happened these past few months, I didn't know what to think anymore.

Our awkward and stiff interactions had slowly evolved into something more, something that I didn't know the name to. He had protected me, trusted me, and I had trusted him. When Katherine came back though… it all changed. He quickly drifted away from me, and so did his companionship. It was what happened to good people who spent so much time with that bitch of a Petrova.

Why Elijah though?

And why was I on his doorstep, so willing to let him help me, so trusting?

I was snapped from my thoughts when I heard glass shattering from inside. My hand quickly dropped back to my side, and I opened the door without hesitation, prepared for the physical attack that I had expected to come.

But it wasn't physical. It wasn't spiritual. It wasn't anything mental…

Elijah stood there, his hand curled around Katherine's neck, holding her pinned against a shattered mirror. Glass shards surrounded their feet, but they seemed not to notice. They were too lost in each other's eyes to notice.

That was when Elijah leaned in, and when their faces were only inches from each other, Katherine made the final move, and their lips connected.

Now I'm falling asleep, and she's calling a cab.

While he's having a smoke, and she's taking a drag.

I looked away, this strange feeling in my chest. It wasn't anything good. It hurt. So, so much. Now I knew why Damon had decided to turn off his humanity switch before. How could he have lived like this for a hundred years? It felt like someone was squeezing my heart with heated tongs. Or like someone was scratching it with sandpaper. Or like people were putting nails through it from all sides. Or maybe I felt these all at once as I heard Katherine moan out Elijah's name in complete ecstasy.

Now they're going to bed.

And my stomach is sick, and it's all in my head.

What had I expected to happen? That Elijah would come out here for me in the rain and take me in his arms so that we would live happily ever after? That he would hold my hand and lead me inside into the warmth of his home with all honesty? No. No, this was bound to happen eventually. Elijah loved Katherine. She would always be his Katerina, no matter how many times I told him that she would never change.

But she's touching his chest now.

There was another noise, one that I wouldn't have wanted to hear in a million lifetimes.

It was the sound of shoes hitting the floor, followed by the soft reverberations of clothes being slid off by one or the other. It didn't matter anymore. They were both going to sleep together, and Katherine was going to love it. Maybe even Elijah too.

He takes off her dress, nowlet me go.

And I was out here, standing in the rain, hugging myself dry like it would change anything. I took the courage that still remained inside me that still had not run off because of the show I was getting, and peeked inside the window. They were on the couch now, making out feverishly.

And I just can't look. It's killing me, and taking control.

Elijah's pants were still on. That was a good sign. Katherine though was already clad in only her underwear. And she was on top of him, no less. I might have even saw her tongue flick out for a millisecond and lick his chin if I wasn't so busy trying to keep the bile from erupting from my throat.

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis.

I watched as she ground her hips against his, and that was when I knew that I couldn't take any more. I was off of their yard in a flash and in the woods. The images that played in my head made me want to vomit.

Katherine touching Elijah, Elijah touching Katherine… it was all too much to handle.

But it's just the price I pay.

Combined with the fact that both Salvatore brothers couldn't help me, and the fact that my best friend probably hated my entire existence, I decided to do it.

I decided to turn it off.

Destiny is calling me.

It was probably better if I did anyway. What did life have to offer me anymore but pain and loss? All the people that I loved didn't love me back anymore, and the people who I used to love were dead, killed by the very same race that I was now a part of.

Closing my eyes, I grappled with the part of me that didn't want to do this, that still wanted to feel. Ultimately, of course, the latter lost, and I was submerged into a pit of nothingness.

No sadness, no pain, no loss, no fear…

Open up my eager eyes.

No loneliness, no hurt, no grief, no ache in my chest…

'Cuz I'm Mister Brightside.

And I was happy.

Considering the fact that I could no longer feel, however, the more appropriate term would be that I was 'celebrating'. I was celebrating, because I didn't have to live in such agony anymore. I could forget about everything; the memories of Mystic Falls, the loss of Stefan, the love that Damon had for me, the never ending hatred that I had for Katherine, the adoration that Elijah had turned down, the friendship that Bonnie had turned away from. And Caroline…

I never…

And Jeremy…

Sweet, nosy, friendly, annoying, irritating, depressed, smiling Jeremy…

I never…

It was over now. I didn't feel, and I didn't care.

I had made my choice, and I was going to stick to the pro-quo.

Say goodbye to the old Elena. Say hello to the new, fresh-faced, fresh-started Elena. The one that didn't have friends, the one that didn't want friends.

I never…

The one that hated the world and loved life. The one that didn't care what other people said, and the one that no longer loved both boys of the Salvatore family.

I never!

I had started over.

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