I slapped him.
I've hit him before.
I know I have.
But when?
Clary was stood on her own outside the Penhallows' house; all of her usual friends had disappeared, even Jon, so she had no one to talk to. Then she'd seen him, crossing the street opposite the house, carrying his detatchable wings in his hands. Even his physical appearance was a mystery to her; his hair looked brown, like his mother Amatis', but underneath she caught a glint a gold which she didn't think was part of the costume. His eyes were the same, one colour one minute and a different one the next, as if someone completely different was hiding under the skin of the boy on the outside. She hadn't even realised she was following him until she nearly walked into Aline's mother, probably coming home from the Gard, looking tired by satisfied that another day was nearly over.
"Sorry Clarissa; nearly walked into you there"
"It was my fault. Goodnight"
"Goodnight".
She was worried that she'd lost him amongst the many streets of the city before she finally tracked him down, stood in the square near his house.
"Why don't you go talk to him?" asked a man who had crept up beside her; a man she was glad to see but at the same time annoyed at for catching her so vulnerable.
"Why don't you go home to your girlfriend? She's probably having a fit filling her heard with conspiracy theories about how something terrible must've happened to you for leaving her for a few minutes"
"You've summed up our relationship quite well there" Lucian said. Being best friends with both of her parents meant Lucian and Clary had been around each other for as long as she could remember, and for just as long he'd been suffering in his complicated relationship with Celine Montclaire. Apparently her father introduced them to each other, and at first they were very much in love (and even engaged to be married) but things took a turn for the worst. Celine was too paranoid and made it difficult for Lucian to have a normal life, so they broke up for a while. They'd been back together for just over a year but marriage was definitely off the table.
"He's so annoying" Clary now said, indicating towards where Jace was stood, "and every time I talk to him I want to murder him"
"Buuuuuut?"
"But there's something there. Have you ever met someone and thought- no- knew that every thought or feeling you had for them was a thought or feeling you'd had before? He just seems so wrong, like a part of me hates him because, let's face it, he's the most annoying and arrogant person I've ever met. But there's another part of me that makes me feel … not myself".
"What do you mean, not yourself?"
"It's like being a Shadowhunter, and being the best that I can be at it, has been my whole life. But when I look at him or argue with him or slap him across the face it's like I'm not a Shadowhunter, I'm just a person"
"And what's wrong with being just a person?"
"Nothing; that's why I keep following him, and getting into arguments with him". Lucian laughed at this, a long laugh that made Clary feel warm inside to hear.
"I envy you, Clary. You're biggest dilemma is worrying about whether or not you're falling for someone who, if you actually talked to in a civilised manner, might turn out to be a genuinely nice person"
"Why? What dilemmas have you got? Other than the paranoid non-wife?" He looked at her with sad and worried eyes, sighing and heaving his shoulders in defeat.
"I'm- I'm going to be a father"
"What?!"
"Celine's pregnant. She's over the moon about it but that's because she's acting like we'll be a nice happy family. How're we going to raise a child together if we can't even have a stable relationship?"
"You're not happy?"
"I'm happy about have a baby! You know I've always wanted to be a father; that's why I spent so much time with you and Jon when you were kids. This is what I've always wanted; I just wish it was under different circumstances".
"You're right; it's not going to be easy to raise a child in those circumstances, but a challenge like this is just the way to prove what an amazing father I know you'll be. Congratulations". They both had tears in their eyes as they hugged; like a father and daughter, like two best friends, they both knew just what to say to make the other feel better.
"Now go talk to my nephew" Lucian urged with a grin, just before walking off back the way he same.
He was now sat on the floor in the square, the wings of his costume draped across his legs, fidgiting with a stone he'd picked up off the floor. Her heart was beating faster as she walked closer and closer to him, terrified at saying to Lucian aloud everything she had thought the first time she spoke to Jace in the forest, and again at the party. She'd learned from her father to embrace her emotions but at the same time hide them from those she couldn't trust so that they couldn't use her love to destroy her. Now she took in what her other father (I've never really thought of Lucian as a father before) had said, that she had to give Jace a chance to prove to her that he was worthy of her emotions, and maybe then she could finally embrace them.
"Hi" he said, shocking her by turning around to face her before she had a chance to speak first, "I could hear your breathing; were you intimidated by my presence?"
"Fabulousness can be very intimidating" he actually smiled at this. It was the first time she'd seen him smile genuinely; not because he was pleased with himself or being sarcastic, but because he was actually happy to be in this company of the same girl who slapped him only a few hours ago.
"So … I'm not sure Jon's all that into the intensive Shadowhunter training anymore; I might need someone to patrol with during the day but it's got to be someone who can keep up with an expert"
"I'd love to help" he replied, "but I too need someone who can keep up with me and I'm not sure you're up for it"
"You're hilarious" she said flatly, but smiling all the same.
"Tell you what. I'll let you tag along with me tomorrow and I'll assess your performance to see if you're worthy of a trial run as my fighting partner"
"I'm so honoured; my mother will be so proud" sarcasm aside, they couldn't keep their eyes off each other or their smiles off their faces; Lucian was right, I just need to give him a chance. It was going so well until a brown-haired woman came running towards them from across the square; worry on her face and anger in her eyes.
"Mother?" Jace asked
"William's gone!" Amatis screamed, "him and a group of young Shadowhunters were just seen at the border to the city with suitcases and weapons! They're leaving the city!" Jace looked genuinely scared.
"Why?"
"No one knows; the parents of the children who were spotted have been notified and are running around it a panic. But the worst part is that the Lightwoods are saying their children have disappeared too!"
"And they weren't with the others?"
"No!"
"I'm sorry Clary" he said in her direction, "I'm going to have to go and see what's going on"
"Actually, you might want to bring her along; Jonathan Morgenstern is also one of the missing Shadowhunters and they think he was leading the group".