Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own MASH.
A/N: Please Review. Please.
The stars of Korea keep me company, the beautiful stars that gaze passively down at the earth. They care nothing of the fragile lives that are disrupted by the war. In a way this comforts me, it reminds me of home because these are the same stars that watch my house, as well as Korea…
As I walk back from Post-op, after checking on the boy whose surgery I had done early, something bright catches my eye. Caught between terror, these days it seems that terror is always under the surface, and curiosity I pause for a moment to find out where that flash of light came from. It takes a while for me to figure out that it was the stars that made me pause and that had instilled in me, for a brief moment, a horrible feeling of dread that was enough to freeze my heart for a second.
The stars. How long has it been since I last looked at the stars? I mean truly gazed up at their wondrous beauty and their hidden mysteries. When I was young, right after my mother died, my father had told me that the stars were actually looking glasses, where the people who were no longer with us could look down and watch us as we moved through the paces of our lives. He had said that my mother was up there looking down on me. He would point to a star up in the sky and say, "there she is son and she is so proud of you."
That moment in time has always stuck with me. Now, however, when I look up at the stars it is not my mother that I imagine, but is instead all of the lives that I have failed to save. They seem to look down on me in sorrow, silently questioning me. "Why did we have to die," they seem to scream, but I don't know the answer. Day in and day out I stick my hands in their blood. My hands have been stained red and I can no longer seem to wash the blood off. Oh I know that my hands are not really red, but the blood is there never the less. It is right under the surface. Mocking me. Telling me that I have, yet again, failed to save a life.
I look up in a futile attempt to perhaps ask the heavens why there is such unhappiness in the world and am struck anew at the terrible sadness that the stars seem to possess.