Robert
He is exceptionally glad that Mary does not sleep in his room because he keeps dreaming of Cora. Although he supposes he'd have never seen Cora in that state of, well not really undress, but almost undress, had he allowed Mary to sleep in his room.
His rather vivid dreams about Cora bring home to him how much he wants to be divorced. He hates his wife, but now that he has had more glimpses of what life with Cora would be like, he just wants Philippa out of his life. And out of Mary's life. He is sure that he will get custody, he is sure that her mother won't even ask for it. She might ask for her money back, but the lawyer will tell him if she has any chance of getting it back and he is almost sure that she doesn't because his father tied the knot airtight.
When he enters the breakfast room next morning, Cora is already there and by herself. The way she smiles at him lets memories of his dreams cross his mind again and he hopes that she can't see it on his face, because he doesn't want her to know what he dreamed of last night and especially what he dreamed about them doing. So he just smiles back at her.
He tells her where Mary wants to go and she tells him that she will take the nanny along and that he shouldn't worry. Rosamund and Marmaduke still haven't come down to breakfast by the time he and Cora are finished.
"Please tell my sister and brother-in-law that I've gone to see the lawyer and that I won't be here for lunch."
"Robert, you are shaking. Are you so nervous?" He had hoped she wouldn't notice.
"A little."
"It'll go well. The papers are full of you being cuckolded by your wife. The lawyer will tell you that a divorce will not be a problem."
"Let's hope you are right."
"Good luck." She gives him a kiss on the cheek. He shouldn't let her do this; they are getting too close too soon. He is still married and it will take months before the divorce is through and then he couldn't marry Cora right away, even if she accepted him. They would have to wait or they would cause another scandal.
When he tells the lawyer that he wants a divorce, the lawyer smiles at him and tells him that he expected him to come with this. Cora was right, the divorce should go as smoothly as possible but it will take at least four months.
On his way to his sister's house, he decides to go to Downton the next day. He is sure his parents would only be too happy to break the news of the divorce to Philippa, but he knows that the decent thing to do is to tell her himself.
He finds his sister and brother-in-law in their sitting room and they both jump up as soon as he enters the room.
"So?" his sister asks and he almost replies "so what?" but they aren't children anymore and he knows that Rosamund is on his side.
"It went as well as possible. The divorce should not pose too many problems. But I will go to Downton tomorrow and tell Philippa myself. I know Mama and Papa would like to tell her but it is only decent if I inform her of it."
"Good. Will you come back here?"
"Yes. I'll return the day after tomorrow. It will be good for Mary to spend some time somewhere she doesn't associate with fear. Eventually I will have to go back to Downton, of course, but not right now and certainly not before Philippa has left for good."
"You are always welcome here, little brother."
"Thank you. Do you know where Cora is?"
"In her room."
"I need to talk to her too."
"Yes. Tell your future wife that you are going to talk to your soon-to-be-ex-wife."
"Rosamund, Cora is not my future wife. And don't say such things or the papers will be full of gossip about her too. And I really don't want that."
"Regardless, little brother, you can go to her room. There are never any servants on the second floor except for early in the morning. We enjoy our privacy and not just for doing what you think we are doing."
"I know Rosamund and I admire you for doing away with so many social conventions."
"Well, you've just done away with the social convention of staying married."
"True."
"Go, talk to her."
He knocks on her door and when she doesn't answer he knows she is asleep and that he shouldn't enter her room. But he does. There have already been so many things he shouldn't have done but did all the same. He is glad beyond words that he has opened the door because a wave of happiness floods through him when he sees Cora lying on the bed with Sam asleep on her chest and Mary sleeping next to her, holding the hand that is not holding Sam. He has never seen anything so beautiful. When he makes to close the door again, she stirs and asks "Robert?" So he walks into her room.
"I wanted to tell you about today, but we can talk later."
"No, that's all right. But would you take Sam of me so that I can sit up without waking him?"
"Yes." He takes the little boy of his mother and holds him without waking him. He absentmindedly places a feather light kiss on the boy's forehead.
"If you like you can hold him for a while. Just sit down in that chair over there. As long as you don't move around too much he won't wake." So he sits down holding the baby, letting him rest on his chest. He remembers Mary falling asleep like that countless times.
"So, how did it go?"
"You were right. With what you said. But it will take four months at least."
"It is not that long."
"I will go to Downton tomorrow. I have to tell her myself. It is the decent thing to do."
"Will you come back here?"
"Yes. I won't take Mary with me. I'll leave tomorrow and return the day after. I don't like leaving Mary behind, but it is only for two days."
"Rosamund has invited me to stay for a week. So I'll be here. I'll take care of Mary while you are gone."
"Where are you going, Papa?" Apparently Mary has woken up too.
He looks at Cora for guidance in this. "Robert, tell her."
He hasn't thought about how to tell Mary about the divorce. But maybe it is easier this way.
"Mary, you know that your mother and I don't get along very well."
"You don't like her."
"Mary,"
"She makes you unhappy. She makes you grumpy."
Cora looks at him imploringly, as if to say 'don't lie to her'. Mary has now climbed onto Cora's lap and the way Cora protectively holds her is what finally causes him to tell Mary the truth.
"Yes Mary. Your mother and I don't get along. And you are right. She makes me unhappy and grumpy."
"Papa, she makes me unhappy too," Mary whispers and hides her face on Cora's shoulder. He gets up, still holding Sam, sits on the bed next to Cora and strokes Mary's head with his free hand.
"Mary, it is all right to say that. That is how you feel. You know that I am married to you mother, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Do you know what being married means?"
"It means you have to live with someone else. Like Granny and Grandpa."
"Yes. But your mother and I won't be married for much longer. Then we won't have to live with her anymore."
"Can we live with Cora then? Please Cora? Will you live with us? And Sam too? You know how big our house is."
"No Mary, I can't. But I'll visit often. I promise." He knows that she has probably only said this to not get Mary's hopes up but his own hopes have just taken a serious blow. "And I think it is time for your father and I to get ready for dinner. So why don't we take you to the nursery?"
"Can I share a room with Sam again?"
"If you like."
Because Sam is still asleep, he carries him to the nursery and puts him back into his crib and Cora and he both say goodbye to Mary. As soon as they have closed the nursery door, Cora turns to him.
"Robert, I only said to Mary what I said because I didn't want to get her hopes up. Or to make her impatient. She would have expected me to move to Downton next Tuesday."
"So there is hope for me then?"
"Of course there is."
He wants to kiss her, he wants to go to her room with her and never leave, but he shouldn't and this time he has to listen to that nagging voice at the back of his mind, telling him that he has to tread carefully.
He catches her by herself after dinner.
"I am leaving on the train at 7 tomorrow morning, so I'll have to leave the house at 6. I suppose I won't see you then. So I'll say goodbye now."
"Goodbye Robert. And good luck."
"Will you take care of Mary, please?"
"Of course I will. Don't worry."
"Thank you. You are the only person in the world I can leave her with without feeling bad about it."
"I am honored by that."
"I should go to bed."
"And so should I."
"But you don't want to."
"And neither do you."
"No." He takes her hand and leads her outside, into the garden. He wonders if this was such a good idea when he realizes how cold it is and he feels her begin to shiver. But he wants to be alone with her and he can't go to her room with her and neither can she come to his, even if he is sure that Rosamund and Marmaduke wouldn't mind, let alone mention it to anyone. He is scared of himself, scared of the power Cora has over him, scared of what he thinks they'd not be unlikely to do if they were in a room with a bed. So he wraps his arms around her instead.
"I know it is cold, but I'll try to keep you warm."
"Thank you. I am not cold if you hold me this way."
"Good. I'll keep it in mind then, in case you ever get cold while I'm around." He feels her shaking with laughter.
"What?" he asks her.
"You are so sweet, Robert. And I might need you to warm me rather often."
"I am willing to help you with that."
"You are being very forward."
"So are you."
"I thought you wanted to sweep of my feet."
"So you did hear me then."
"Yes." She looks into his eyes now, almost expectantly.
"I'll be even more forward now," he says and kisses her. He can feel her smile against his lips and it makes him very happy. This is not a kiss given out of desire but out of love. It's that kind of kiss that happily married people give each other when they want to say 'I love you' without words. And that is exactly what he wants to say.
"That was a very bold move, Robert."
"I know. But I think you expected it."
"How do you make that out?"
"You didn't object."
"I suppose I didn't."
"And you smiled. I could feel it."
"You are making that up."
"No, it's true. You did smile, didn't you?"
She rolls her eyes at him teasingly. "Yes, I did."
"Good."
"Is it?"
"It's a good sign."
"If you think so."
"Yes I do."
Cora's tone is light and teasing but he knows there is more to it. So he pulls her close to him again and she leans her head on him.
"How do you feel about seeing your wife again?"
He wonders if he should answer this question. He hates talking about his feelings as it makes him very uncomfortable. His mother has told him all his life that he shouldn't talk about his feelings and he is sure it makes his life more difficult. That is why he keeps telling Mary that she is allowed to say what she feels. And he thinks he should talk about his feelings more, at least to Cora.
"I don't know. I certainly don't want to see her. But it will probably be the last time I'll have to talk to her alone. I hope she doesn't want to fight but if she fights I won't back down. I'm a little scared she'll ask for her money back and also that she might not agree to a divorce because it will mean the loss of her title. And that is very important to her. The title, I mean."
"Hm."
"What? Just spit it out, Cora, I know there is something you want to say."
"If she really fights, won't that make the process of the divorce more difficult?"
"It'll certainly make it more unpleasant. But there are grounds for a divorce; I will be divorced sooner or later. And I will be very happy once it has happened. I sometimes think that I fell asleep the day of my wedding and the nightmare started as soon as I had closed my eyes and that I still haven't woken up from it."
"It's that bad, is it?"
"Yes. I tried to love her, but I couldn't. And the harder I tried, the worse it got. I had hoped that it would get better when she was pregnant but it actually made it worse. It breaks my heart that Mary has to or rather had to grow up like that. My parents and especially my mother don't like to show their feelings, but we've always known they loved each other. And we've always known they loved us, even if my mother would never say it. But Mary doesn't have that. And I feel so guilty about that because I could have prevented it. I didn't want to marry Philippa. But I gave in to my parents and I still think I shouldn't have."
"Had you not done that, you wouldn't have Mary."
"In a way you are right, of course. And I can't imagine my life without her. So there is one good thing that came out of my marriage. That's what I've been telling myself for almost the past four years. Mary is what has kept me sane those past years. If it wasn't for her, I don't know what I'd have done."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'd have gone to America or something. Left it all behind."
"You couldn't have done that to your parents."
"I am not so sure Cora. There are times at which I am very mad at them for not allowing me to marry whom I wanted to marry."
She holds on tighter to him now and he knows there is a question she wants to know the answer to but is afraid to ask. He also knows what the question is and so he just says "Yes". She doesn't reply and remains quiet for many minutes until she says "I'd have said," but then she stops herself and begins to cry.
He wants to tell her that he loves her more than anything, that he wants to marry her as soon as his divorce is through, that he wants to take her to his home, that he wants to never let go of her, that he wants to spend every minute of his life with her, that he wants her to be the mother of his children, all of them, including both Mary and Sam, he wants to tell her all of this so much, but he can't because he is still a married man, so he just holds onto her and doesn't say anything.
"I think we should go back inside," he says to her eventually and she nods. So he takes her by the hand and leads her to the house, and through the door.