Cora

"Lord Downton," the butler announces.

She is surprised beyond words when she sees Robert in the sitting room.

"I thought you wouldn't come back before tomorrow. Rosamund and Marmaduke have already gone up. I'm sure they would have waited, had they known you would come back today."

"It was easier than I thought. My parents moved dinner up an hour so that I could catch the eight thirty. I had to eat in my traveling clothes. You should have seen my mother's face when my father suggested it."

She has to laugh about this. She doesn't know Lady Grantham very well, but she can very well imagine the Countess' indignation at such a suggestion.

"So your wife isn't going to fight the divorce then?"

"No."

"Good. I'm glad about that. Are you all right?"

"Yes. It's just, I talked to her today. Philippa, I mean. It was the first time we ever talked about our feelings and I am afraid I haven't been a very good husband. She said I was looking for things in her that weren't there, and it's true. I wanted her to be something she couldn't be. At least at the beginning I wanted that and when I realized she'd never be what I wanted her to be, I tried to love her or at least care for her regardless, but it just wasn't possible."

She feels so sorry for him that she gets up and takes his hands in hers.

"Robert, you weren't really given a chance to be a good husband. What were you supposed to do? You couldn't help your feelings and you tried everything. And you behaved impeccably, or that's at least what I hope."

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't have mistress, did you? You didn't take another woman into your bed, did you?"

"No, of course not." Although this is what she expected, his answer still sends a wave of relief through her. "But I had to well, do my duty. And she didn't like it."

"That is probably true, but it was a duty you both had to do. And had she absolutely not wanted it, you wouldn't have gone through with it. I know you well enough for that. You are not that kind of man." Robert begins to laugh now and she wonders what she has said.

"What is so funny about that?"

"Philippa said that too. She used the exact same words."

"Then you know it is true, if two different women tell you that."

"I'm glad I won't ever have to do it again. With her I mean." Now she has to laugh.

"I know," she says.

"Still, I wonder if I shouldn't have tried harder."

"How? What else could you have done? You are the kindest man I know. And I know you've tried to be kind to her for a time. You weren't at the end, but I am sure you were at the beginning."

"She said I looked as if I was walking into my grave on our wedding day."

"Was that how you felt that day?"

"In a way. I knew I was tying myself to a woman I'd find it very hard to love. And it wasn't what I wanted. But it wasn't what she wanted either."

"So I suppose she wasn't a joy come to life when you got married."

"No. She didn't smile once that day, at least not at me. I don't think she has ever smiled at me. Except maybe for today when I told I had filed for a divorce. She was so happy she hugged me."

"Oh dear." She wants to shoot her to the moon. That woman is not supposed to hug Robert. There are only four women she thinks are allowed to hug him, his mother, his sister, his daughter and her. Everyone else should just stay clear of him.

"I pushed her away."

"Good."

"She said it was inappropriate that she hugged me. And I agree. That just shows how horrible and wrong this marriage is."

"Was, Robert. Your marriage has come to an end, even if you aren't divorced yet. There is no going back."

"Thankfully not."

"Will you ever see her again?"

"I suppose I have to see her at court, she has to sign the papers too. But then, never again. She is moving to America. She has fallen in love with an American. I think that is rather ironic."

She wants to ask him what he means, but she doesn't dare to. So she squeezes his hands a little tighter and just smiles at him. He smiles back at her but she thinks that his smile doesn't really reach his eyes. And that scares her.

"What is it?"

"Cora, there is something we have to talk about."

"You are scaring me." "

"I am sorry. About all of this. But the divorce will cause a scandal. A huge one. But one we can deal with because I am not the person to blame. Everyone knows what Philippa has done and she will move to America with that man, so I will get out of this rather unscathed. But this will only work if there are no suspicions about me having an affair as well. Which means that I won't be able to spend a lot of time with you. Right now you are nothing more than a family friend as far as society is concerned. My mother and sister invited you to stay with them. But if we continue to spend so much time together, people will talk."

"So you want me to go back to my own house."

"Yes. And I will have to go back to Downton before the scandal breaks, which will only be a matter of days. And you can't come there, at least not for a while."

"That will be very hard on Mary." And me, she thinks but doesn't voice that thought.

"Yes, and I am very sorry for her. But it is only eight weeks until Christmas. My mother will invite you to Downton for Christmas. That is not suspicious. You are a family friend and you have no family here besides your infant son. I also suppose that you'll be spending quite a lot of time with Rosamund until then. She likes you, she told me so. So it will only be natural for you to come to Downton with her. You will be invited to stay until the Servants' Ball on the fifth of January but then you will have to leave again."

She knows that he is right but it doesn't make her very happy. In fact, it makes her cry.

"Don't Cora. It is the only way not to involve you in the scandal too. If word got around that I am much closer to you than I should be to my sister's new best friend, the papers would have a field day. We could never get rid of a scandal like that. And think about what that would mean for Sam. He is a duke. His mother can't be in the papers, especially not when she is made out to be the affair of a married man."

"What about after?" She chokes this out because she is afraid what he will say.

"After the divorce?"

"Yes."

"After the divorce you can stay at Downton as long as you like."

"That is something to look forward then."

"I am looking forward to it very much."

She wants to kiss him. Wants to show him how much it means to her that he wants her to stay at Downton as long as she likes. Which will probably be for the rest of her life. She hopes that is what he meant. She is almost sure of it.

"Cora, I will be here for only one more day. But I would write to you if you allowed me to do so. Not to your house but I would the send the letters here. I am sure that Rosamund would be more than willing to pass them on to you. And to send letters from you to me, if you were to write any."

"I will write to you. And I would love for you to write to me."

"Would you dance with me again? Please?"

"Yes", she says. She knows that it will make saying goodbye more difficult but it will be worth it. When she feels him put his arm around her waist and pull her much closer than necessary or proper she feels as if she has come home. Robert dances them across the room for a while but just like last time they eventually just sway on the spot with their arms wrapped around each other, her head on his shoulder.

"I will miss you."

"I will miss you too."