Chapter 13: Counting All The Assholes In The Room, Well I'm Definitely Not Alone

Murphy blinks his eyes open to sunlight slanting through the bars of his cell, and an empty bed. He darts up on the slim mattress, his head swiveling around, searching for Connor who is pointedly not there.

Something blooms inside of him, something between sorrow and fury. He has the intense urge to punch something and then sob loudly for several minutes.

However, before he can do either Daryl appears in the entryway to his cell like a ghost, a grim sort of determination in his eyes. The redneck clears his throat, as if he has something to say, but no words leave his lips. He simply stands there and stares at Murphy, his eyes jumping around like those of a caged animal.

Murphy reins himself in, takes a breath, calmly asks, "What's wrong, Daryl?"

Daryl shifts his weight from foot to foot for a moment, the hand gripping the strap of his crossbow tightening until the knuckles turn white, and Murphy swears he's about to bolt without saying a word.

But, finally, he does speak. "I left Rick."

Murphy's eyes go wide with incredulity, fix themselves squarely on Daryl's own, try to capture the tumultuous waves of his blue irises and fail miserably. "You what?"

Daryl huffs out through his nose, though the sound is not in annoyance, but rather an odd form of nervousness. "Said I left Rick."

"I heard that part. Question is, why?" Murphy slides up the bed a little to make room for Daryl.

Daryl's eyes dart between Murphy and that new little space on the bed, and after a moment he plunks down on the mattress. His hand goes to his face, the thumb slipping between his lips as his teeth latch onto the nail, and he doesn't speak for several minutes.

Murphy is patient, allowing Daryl plenty of time to collect his thoughts and put them on display. He feels eerily calm, though he still quite clearly remembers what Rick said to him just the day before. He knows that now Rick will be coming after him with a loaded Colt at the ready, but for some strange reason he can't bring himself to care.

And, in another revelation he has in the span of time it takes Daryl to push words from his stiff throat, he finds that he no longer cares that Connor left him in the middle of the night either. The fury he felt just minutes before is completely snuffed out, like the ends of so many cigarettes he and his brother had shared before. It is replaced by indifference.

Connor is his twin brother. Nothing more, nothing less. Daryl is his lover now.

It's weird to feel that way, since he had always believed Connor to be his soul mate, but somehow it seems right, too. He and Connor never should have started their affair in the first place. It was wrong, and Murphy sees that now. He only hopes that Connor will come to the same realization once Murphy explains everything.

Murphy will give Connor his space, too. He'll move out of the cell, move into a new one with Daryl instead. He'll still see Connor every day, and he won't treat him any different than he did before, but he knows things will never quite be the same. But that's what needs to happen now.

"I don't know why." Daryl's voice shakes Murphy from his reverie.

Murphy's eyes focus on Daryl once more, taking in his profile. He lays a hand on Daryl's shoulder, making the man flinch slightly. Daryl re-settles himself, glances at Murphy from the corner of his eye.

"Well, what prompted ye t' leave him?" Murphy asks, his tone gentle.

Daryl is quick to respond. "He pointed his gun at ya, Murphy, and that just ain't okay. And maybe I coulda overlooked that, 'cept he said he didn't just threaten ya, he made ya a promise when he said what he did. An' the way I see it is I can't be with someone who makes those kinds a' promises. Reminds me a lil' too much of my dear ol' dad, since he was a bit more n' off the deep end, if ya know what I mean."

Daryl scrubs his hand over his face as he finishes, his eyes slipping closed as if he can't handle the weight of what he just said. Murphy just pats his shoulder, absorbing all the information before he tries to respond to it.

Murphy would be lying if he said he didn't want this. He wanted this more than anyone else, more than even Daryl did, and he's willing to admit that. He's willing to cop the blame and take whatever consequences may come. But he can't help but think that Daryl's being a little stupid about this whole thing.

Rick promised to kill Murphy when Daryl left him for the man, so what does Daryl do? Leaves Rick for Murphy. If Daryl really wanted to keep Murphy out of harm's way he would have just kept his mouth shut and stayed with Rick. Because now Murphy's got a target right between his eyes, and Daryl's probably got another on his own back, because Murphy doubts that Rick will stop with just him. No, Rick will go after Daryl, too, since Daryl's the one who really scorned him.

But at the same time Murphy doesn't fault Daryl for leaving. He never would have expected Daryl to stay with someone he didn't completely love and trust. And while Daryl may have loved Rick he never could have fully trusted him again, not after all that's happened between the sheriff and the slightly-younger Irish lad.

Murphy ruminates on these things as Daryl continues to bite at his thumbnail and tap his foot restlessly. Daryl's waiting for a response, and Murphy knows that, but he can't help but enjoy the way the redneck squirms under his anxiety. He wants Daryl to feel the way he's been feeling during their past few weeks together, like he has to keep looking over his shoulder and tiptoe around everyone he knows. That must be how Daryl feels now, though on a much smaller scale, and Murphy feels a little sick for liking that.

Murphy's about to open his mouth and speak, put Daryl out of his misery, when a thundering BOOM resonates around them, the entire building they're sitting in vibrating like God is wiggling it with His little finger.

"The fuck was that?" Murphy questions, looking up to the ceiling as if it will provide him with the answer.

Daryl's eyes narrow into slits, and he jumps to his feet, his entire body taut like a live wire. "Let's go find out."