Chapter 13

The truth about death

"As you know, we lied to Slade about Shado. When he went after Ivo, without us..." Oliver could feel Felicity's eyes observing him, but he couldn't look at her now and see the hatred she probably felt towards him, not after he almost lost her and finally told her about his feelings. "…we knew he would find out the truth..." and Oliver stopped talking. And it was Sara that picked up from where he left of.

"So I told Oliver to kill him." she said. "I'm sorry, but we had to survive." she said directly to Felicity. "He saved me from certain death and taught me many things, but he was too absorbed by his work to realize other people's feelings."

"Did you?" Felicity asked and she didn't have to finish the sentence for everyone to know what she was asking. Did you kill him?

Neither Oliver or Sara answered, instead, Oliver kept his narrative with a hollow voice.

"We returned to the freighter, letting ourselves be captured. We had to keep Slade away from Ivo... So, when I was taken to prison I attacked the guards and started a riot, releasing the prisoners." Oliver said.

"While I was taken to Ivo." Sara took over. "I could see Slade hadn't find him yet, but I wasn't sure how much longer we had. I tried to attack him, but he was prepared and his guards beat me. He left to know what was going on, after someone informed him of Oliver's rebellion, while I was dragged away. I passed out sometime during the beating."

"The prisoners started attacking every guard they could find. And that's how I saved a Bratva captain. He was in the cell next to mine and I helped him escape. I found my bow, and when I found Ivo he was already with Slade. I don't know how he found him, but they were facing each other. Slade had a gun to his head when Ivo said that I was the one that chose Sara. I knew in that moment that I was going to die. I saw it in Slade's eyes. I think he already had some kind of uncertainty about our story, but probably blamed the mirakuru effects on his paranoia… but before he could do anything else than stare at me, part of the freighter exploded. The prisoners set it on fire, while escaping in a few boats. I tried to run, but Slade stopped me. We fought. Ivo ran towards his cabin." Oliver was telling it like each moment didn't have a connection with the previous one.

They could almost see the flames behind Oliver's eyes and Felicity and Diggle traded worried looks. It was the first time they saw Oliver like that and it frightened them.

"I could hear people screaming and smelled the smoke. Anatoly ran into the fight and when Slade tried to kill him I used my chance and I shot him… In the eye." Oliver said. He could still see the blood spilling from the man's face and how he fell backwards. It was like Anatoly was once again right beside him, in that moment, tugging at his sleeve, screaming at him to run.

"I never saw Sara again. I thought she died when the ship burned. Anatoly and I escaped with a few other prisoners and that's when I heard Ivo was dead, one of the prisoners killed him. We reached land and Anatoly took me with him. I spent some time with the Bratva, training and learning. And then I returned to the island." Oliver concluded.

And he finally looked at Felicity.

"So, none of you..." she said and Oliver and Sara shook their heads.

"But you have to understand, it was my fault the ship burned, I was the one that let the prisoners go. And if I had been face to face with him I would have killed him." Oliver said without trying to hide the disgust in his voice.

And before Felicity could say anything he left the room.

"Oliver..." she whispered, feeling her heart constrict like it was bound with a tight rope.

"I don't blame him." she said to Diggle, like she needed her friend to know the truth.

Sara was quiet, almost one with the dark corner of the room and for some moments Felicity felt transported to the week after the Undertaking, after Oliver left and Diggle and her were left to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.

"He is a complicated man. Neither of us could ever imagine who your father was, and now he believes himself as guilty of you losing him." Diggle replied, sighing deeply and sitting beside Felicity. "Just like I said, a field day for a shrink…"

"My father left me before that. I don't know if what Slade told me was true, but no matter what, Oliver wasn't to blame, just like I wasn't to blame when he left my mother." Felicity whispered to herself, feeling Diggle's curious look.

She knew Dig and Sara had no idea she already met Slade, and now was not the time. But if there was something she realized was that her younger self and even, sometimes, her present self, weren't so different from Oliver. They both blamed each themselves for others' mistakes, they couldn't control her father, or Slade or Moira, they were adults that made mistakes, awful mistakes, and it would be unfair for them to carry their parents' cross. Each burden to each one.

Felicity tried to get up, but a flash of pain stopped her and looking down she found blood seeping from her side.

"Shit!" Dig cursed, rising to find a nurse or a needle and line to stitch her himself.

"You are an amazing woman, did you know?" Sara said suddenly and Felicity forgot for moments about her bleeding problem. "It's not everyone that when faced with all this understands the other side. And forgive."

Felicity smiled sadly.

"I won't proclaim that I have the monopoly of sanctity. If there is one thing I learned with all this is that you can't blame yourself for the mistakes of others. My father chose his destiny when he started seeing humans as toys, what happened to him was solely on him. I don't know if he loved me like Slade made me think, but I like to think there was something in there..." she said and Sara approached the bed. She grabbed the photograph that was still over the covers and observed it.

"During the year I lived with him I saw Ivo only taking one thing with him everywhere he went." Sara gave the photo to Felicity. "And it was the original of that photo. I could never imagine you could be the brown haired girl. You are blonder." Sara joked.

Diggle entered followed by a nurse. Felicity had already forgot about her mishap. So maybe her father wasn't really a total monster, if he could still love a little girl.

"I'm sorry, but you really have to leave now. We already let you stay for forty minutes later." the nurse said while arranging the things to stitch Felicity again.

Diggle opened his mouth to disagree, but Felicity sent him the look. He knew it too well to fight her on that.

"Please, go and find Oliver. He is probably breaking the dummies. Tell him I need to talk to him." Felicity pleaded.

Diggle sighed.

"You two are gonna be the death of me." he said, shaking his head.

"Thank you." Felicity said and Dig eyed her confused. "If it weren't for your trainings I wouldn't have been able to fight him." she explained with a smile. Diggle rolled his eyes, and kissing her on the forehead, he smiled at her and left the room.

"Take care of the boys." Felicity said and Sara squeezed her hand in return.

But Oliver wasn't breaking the dummies. He was watching Felicity's room from the building at front. The roof giving him the perfect place to keep her safe.

"Stalker much?" Diggle asked from behind Oliver.

"I'm keeping her safe." Oliver replied without losing his focus.

"Slade, hum?" Dig said and Oliver breathed deeply.

"I never thought he could be alive, but at least now we know who is behind all the mirakuru problems." Oliver said. His voice was still detached and that was starting to get on Diggle's nerves. He wanted to shake his friend and bring the fighter back.

"He tried to come after Felicity." Dig said and Oliver growled under his breathe, finally showing some kind of emotion, even if it was hate.

"He probably thought she would be vulnerable, or just wanted to rub it in my face. He is probably tired of hiding in the shadows." Oliver replied with barely repressed anger. "If Felicity hadn't grabbed my hand and remembered me where we were I would have killed him." Oliver said menacingly. "When I left… he was there." he said, catching Diggle in surprise.

"He was inside his car, waiting for me." Oliver said. "And he gave me this." he took something from inside his pocket and showed it to his friend.

It was a picture. Diggle cursed out loud when he saw what it was.

Felicity was laying on the floor. Blood sipping from her side. Her white blouse colored red. He could see the gun beside her.

"This was..." he started and Oliver nodded.

"Inside Tockman's house. He was there." Oliver said and Diggle noticing something in the back of the photo. Words were written in black.

The sins of the parents are paid by the children.

"He will try to kill her again." Dig said. "What are you going to do?"

"Me? I'm going to kill him first."