I'm sitting at work doing nothing related to what I should be doing, and I'm marveling at the shortness that is your letter. Can you not even ask how I'm doing? Or even about how much cigarettes are in LA? Don't think I didn't notice your lack of addressing the whole 'smoking hurts people' subject. You skirted that like the skirt I wore yesterday, except yours went all the way down to the floor.

And your whole 'I'm a big, bad scary vamp' doesn't fool me for a second. You may call yourself 'Spike' or 'William the Bloody' in front of crowds, and that's fine. Have your delusions. I know that William the Poet still lurks in there somewhere. If he didn't, you wouldn't have said anything about Angel taking care of me.

Thank you for that, by the way. It's nice to be remembered by someone who doesn't see me every day. Angel goes off after asking if I'm okay and what he needs to kill, and Wesley just bounds after him trying to score brownie points and brown-nosing his way onto Angel's good side. It's nice to be cared about, even by a 'big, bad vampire.'

I have a question: does the fact that I'm writing you back make us pen pals or something? I mean, I was never one to write back and forth, so this is new for me. I don't exactly know what to say now…. I guess I could tell you about what's happening here.

Right after I wrote you, one of Angel's 'children' came and tormented everyone. He had Wesley by the throat, pumped me for information, almost killed a cop lady that Angel knows, and totally screwed with Angel's head. Then, I got impregnated by demon spawn. It was a whole big thing.

I had gone out dating this REALLY cute guy named Wilson a few times, and the third time I invited him in to my apartment. I knew that Phantom Dennis (he's my ghost) would be jealous, but I didn't realize he would resort to playing polka music to kill the mood. Turns out, polka would have been nice compared to what I woke up to.

After…you know…I woke up in the morning (and I was so late for work), and Wilson was gone…but I was pregnant. I was really pregnant. I was about-ready-to-pop pregnant. I didn't know what to do, but Angel and Wesley eventually came over around noon, give or take fifteen minutes, and they did all they could to help out. Angel found the guy, and Wesley took me to the OB/GYN (talk about major awkwardness) to find out what was inside of me.

Long story short: seven heartbeats, I went crazy, and Angel and Wesley saved the day and me from having to give birth to demon children and almost certain death.

Of course, now I feel like I have to buy them lattés for saving me, but somehow that just doesn't seem like enough. After I went back into the office, they were both tripping over themselves to make sure I didn't strain my pinky toe. I have to say…sometimes, chivalry isn't dead. It's just hiding in the body of a geek and in the bodies of undead creature-of-the-night vampires who have problems with women. And you can't say anything or get huffy: you went out with Drusilla.

Cordelia

Disclaimer: The author claims ownership of nothing that is recognizable to the Angel franchise, or to that of the Buffy: the Vampire Slayer franchise. No monetary profit is garnered and no copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Thank you so much to those who have reviewed and added this to your alert list. It means so much to me to hear what you think. If you have the time, send me a review and let me know how I can improve, what you liked, what you want to happen next, etc. Thank you again for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I hope to post more in the next week or so.