Outtake 3

The women he loves the most

Oliver didn't mean to pry. He was just going to ask his sister if she wanted pizza, since he was going to order for the rest of the team.

He had left Diggle and Sara on the living room, watching a MMA combat. For once, all of them could stay in one place, with no fight or threat to the city.

However, when he reached Thea's door he stopped in his track, hearing her voice talking with someone. He knew it wasn't Roy, since the last time he saw the boy he was rummaging the fridge in their kitchen. And when he heard the other person answer back, he realized it was Felicity. He looked towards the end of the hallway, where he had left her twenty minutes ago, immersed into The Hobbit, in the mansion's gigantic library.

"It's... hard..." he heard his sister say and felt a pang of guilt, a normal feeling, nowadays, every time he heard that kind of tone.

"Knowing that this life you lead was much more complicated than you realized. That your history isn't all that yours, but a result of others' actions." Felicity answered and Oliver could remember as it was yesterday how it felt finding out he had somehow provoked the death of the fathers of the two women he loved the most. Even if they were far away from model parents.

He could clearly remember Thea's face when he was dragged by Roy from the burning factory where she was kept by Slade. It spoke of loss, anger, disappointment.

"You are him." were the only words that left her mouth before she closed herself like a shell.

He knew Roy was given the same treatment, if his downcast face when he left the mansion, whenever he tried to see her, were of any indication.

Moira knew her daughter was taken by someone and saved by the Arrow, and somehow during that time found out about her biological father, but she couldn't start to comprehended just how far her disappointment went, with not only her mother, but Oliver, Felicity and even more important, the man she always saw as a father, Walter.

It was not only finding out that your father killed more than 500 people, but that your brother keeps running around town, hidden, putting himself in danger, and not letting her into that part of him. Worse was knowing Roy knew about that and kept lying to her.

Now she spoke a bit more, tried to engage in conversations and let Roy stay, but still, her smile was too forced, her eyes too sad, her expression too lost. He feared his sister was losing herself into her own mind.

Oliver felt like his head would explode.

"Thea, did I ever tell you about my parents?" Felicity asked and Oliver wanted to alert of his presence, but didn't want to break the spell of confidence in each other that the women were showing. So he stayed put, praying that neither of his friends found him in that predicament. Truth be told, he felt mesmerized by the women he was observing.

"My father was a doctor. He was working on a project that, according to his own believes would be a good thing, something that could help someone that he cared about that was very sick, his little sister… she had a rare disease and he wanted to make everything he could to save her… and he did unspeakable things, he tortured people and he killed them… he made experiments that hurt people, because he was so obsessed he forgot what human nature really was… and for years he searched for it… and when he finally found it, all his mistakes came back to haunt him and he died… before he could help his sister…" Felicity told and Oliver sighed.

He could remember all too well when his girlfriend finally started digging about her father, helped by some informations Sara had and things they found in Slade's computers. Her mother had never told her anything about the rest of the family and so, it felt like seeing someone's else life, someone else's family in display.

He could still remember how she looked at him when she found out about her aunt. It was some kind of hopeful expression that they might do something to help her, but then, finding her death certificate, Felicity's expression fell. For a few seconds he realized she thought she could somehow try to right her father's wrongs, even in a small way, or maybe just bring comfort to someone who needed it…

"I can't see him as my father, you know? Before the Gambit went down I had my dad, my real dad, the man that raised me, and after that, Walter came and he made me feel like I had a new dad, he worried about me, and he helped me when I had problems in Math or in choosing a gift to mom… But Malcolm Merlyn… he was always Tommy's father… he never mingled or made me feel at ease, not like Walter did, even before my dad died… It's not about him… it's about me… or rather what I perceived my life as being and what it actually turned out to be… I thought after the Undertaking, the lies would stop, the deceive, the half-truths…" Thea said and Oliver heard sighing. He moved his head a centimeter to the right and discovered he could see the reflections of the women in Thea's mirror.

Thea was sitting cross-legged over her bed, while Felicity sat beside her, her legs tucked under her bottom.

"What did you thought when you found out about your father?" Thea asked and Felicity played with the hem of her shirt.

"When you are abandoned as a child… you kind of have to fend off by yourself, you know? My mother wasn't all that great, so… I grew up by myself… well, myself and my computers and my books… when I found out about my father, at first, someone told me he was a good guy, that he left my mother because he couldn't put up with her anymore, but that he wanted to take me with him…" Felicity explained and Thea nodded.

"The man that kidnaped me…" Thea said and Felicity looked back at her, surprised. "I remember him yelling about your father and I heard you talking with Oliver once about that…" Thea elucidated.

"Well, yes… he tried to win my trust, but a lot of things happened and he showed his true colors… I think that was the worst, because, if I knew the truth at first I wouldn't create an image inside my head that would make the process of losing him all over again that much harder…" Felicity said and Thea bit her lower lip. It was a tell-tale of her own thoughts that spoke about her comprehension of Felicity's predicament.

"I had this image, in my head, of my brother… Even after I realized he would never be the same Oliver that left in that boat, I thought… that somehow he would, someday return to me, as in, trust me with his fears and his scars… I guess I didn't see that coming…" Thea said and Oliver knew she was talking about his secret identity as the Arrow. "Everything is just so confusing in my head. I can't look at my mom and not remember that she lied to us all of our lives, I can't look at Oliver without seeing his hood, I can't look at Roy and not see his scarred and bloody face when he found me in that factory… Even you lied, Felicity! When Oliver brought you here for the first time to present you as his girlfriend you were so awkward I thought it would be impossible for you to be a gold digger, and I cared for you, because I could see that smile in my brother's face that made him seem so younger… I remember how he looked like when you were at the hospital… I trusted in you, in all of you… and finding out that everyone around me was living a life of pretenses just destroys all these images of us that I created…" Thea confessed, her hands fisting her bed covers. Felicity's hand reached to grab one of the younger woman and squeezed it.

"We lied, we created a life of make-believe, all of us had a double life, be it the CEO, the black driver or the awful secretary, but if there is one thing none of us had to lie about was how we felt about you! Oliver left when you were a girl and he came back to find a woman… I can't tell you how that still plagues his mind, not being here to see you growing up… but if there is one thing I can guarantee you is that he loves you more than anything in this world… lying to you was the hardest thing he had to do, but all he did was to…"

"To protect me, I know that…" Thea replied quickly and Felicity smiled sadly.

"Yes and no… he wanted to protect you, that I have no doubt about, but he wanted to create some kind of normalcy for you, he wanted and still wants to be a better brother to you… he has a lot of faults, he is moody, and yells and broods, and is so hot head that sometimes I just want to pour a bucket of ice over him… but, even with all that, he wanted to give you a bit of the brother you lost… and he tried to be that person he was, at least with you, that happier, lighter man, but his scars are sometimes too hard to shoulder and he lets that darkness envelop all his light…" Felicity whispered and Oliver wondered if she was speaking not only for Thea but for herself as well. Was he letting his darkness erase not only his own light but hers as well?

"You love my brother…" Thea said suddenly and he saw Felicity's cheeks aflame.

"Hum… yes, I do…" Felicity whispered and Oliver felt his heart hammering inside his chest. They had never uttered the words per se, but if there was one thing he was sure about was his feelings about Felicity and hers about him. Someday he would say those words, not now, but someday, he was sure, and they would not be light-hearted or in the spur of the moment, they would show exactly how he felt, his inners thoughts and feelings, his devotion to her.

"He loves you too…" Thea said, now smiling a bit more. Oliver felt his insides warmer, seeing that smile in his sister's face, it was not the fake one she had be wearing these last weeks and that made him feel much lighter.

"I know…" Felicity said, with a big smile of her own. He could see her shining eyes and he smiled back, even if she couldn't see him.

"I love him too…" Thea said, suddenly serious once again.

"He knows that… don't worry…" Felicity replied calmly.

"I'm scared I can't go back to be who I used to be…"

"Thea… I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you will never be who you used to be… when we learn something meaningful it changes us, when we pass through a traumatic experience it changes us, when we realize we are much stronger than we thought, it changes us… And all that just happened to you… you are a different Thea, with all the abilities and knowledge of the old Thea and all the strengths and skills of the new Thea…"

"It looks like you are talking about a computer operative system…" Thea laughed.

"Computers can't lie… but they can't feel either… and you, Thea Queen, are a feeler…" Felicity said, cringing right after the words left her mouth. "I mean, a feeler as in having feels, not the perverted kind of feeling up other people like while in a bar or other places, that I will stop talking about… right now…" Oliver had to stop the laugh from leaving his lips while he saw Felicity trying to explain herself, her hands waving around and almost slapping Thea on the face.

"Don't worry, I think everyone knows you really don't mean what our first thoughts tell us you mean…" Thea calmed the older woman down and grabbed her hand. "Thank you for listening to me…"

"You are welcome, but you know I'm not the only one that should hear this, do you?" Felicity asked and Thea nodded.

"Ollie and Roy… and even mom, I guess… not in the telling her about the Arrow way, but having some kind of truce…" Thea sighed, while Felicity rose from the bed.

Oliver realized they were ending their conversation and trying to be as inconspicuous as he could be, he tried to step back far enough so he could pretend just coming up right now.

"Do that…" Felicity said, before hugging the girl. It was the last thing Oliver saw, before he was far enough.

When Felicity left the room, Oliver was walking towards it.

"Everything all right?" he asked and Felicity nodded. "I just wanted to ask Thea if she wanted pizza… I'm ordering for the guys…" Oliver said, grabbing his girlfriend's hand and squeezing it. He wanted to thank her for everything, he wanted to hug her, and kiss her and do all the crazy things he could think about, but he settled for the hand squeeze and the forehead kiss. Those were simple things, but for them meant a world full of memories and trust in each other.

"Yes! But don't forget the pineapple in mine!" Thea said, her head popping out of her door, before she opened it and walked into the hallway.

"Someone is happy…" Oliver said with a smile and Thea walked towards him.

"You have to thank your girlfriend for that… By the way, she is a keeper… you should start looking for rings…" Thea said, before walking swiftly with a mischievous smile on her face.

"She is so…light…" Oliver said watching his sister's retreating form.

"She needs to vent her own frustrations and fears and I needed to talk, so…" Felicity replied, shrugging her shoulders, her cheeks red and her eyes not looking at him. "Now, what if we go downstairs and you make sure they don't forget my pepperoni?" Felicity proposed, tugging his hand and retreating quickly.

Oliver saluted her in a mock serious way and followed her downstairs.

However, even if both of them choose to ignore Thea's last words, they still ringed inside his head. And, surprising himself, Oliver found out it wasn't such an odd concept for him, imagining her with a ring in her left hand… maybe after the "I love you" he could start thinking about that…

I started thinking about how Thea and Felicity could bond over their less than ideal fathers and this baby was born. I hope I wasn't too occ with Thea, I really think she grew up a lot during these two seasons and is far away from the teen we first met.