Chapter 2 - A Typical Saturday

The sun was shining brightly on a beautiful Saturday morning. Clyde's eyes cracked open as he looked at his digital clock. It was 6:00 AM.

"Oh boy, it's Saturday!" he cheered, jumping up and down the bed. He hopped onto the floor and ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth and change into a red and black striped-shirt and black shorts. He hopped onto the stair railings and slid downstairs. He then ran straight into the kitchen and poured himself a nice big bowl of Sugar Puff cereal. He poured extra sugar on the puffs as well as some chocolate milk to add some "sweetness" to it. He turned on the TV to watch some Saturday morning cartoons.

He turned the TV's volume up really high and jumped up and down the couch as he ate his cereal, laughed his hardest as he watched Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry, and tried acting out Batman's coolest stunts. His sugar levels were at an all-time high as well as his caffeine level. During the commercials, he ran up and down the stairs really fast and hopped back on the couch as soon as the commercials were over.

He was on a roll, but his parents weren't. His parents were all snuggled up under the covers of their bed and were enjoying each other's company. That is, until Clyde awoke and caused a huge ruckus downstairs. Courtney stomped near the staircase and yelled out, "WILL YOU CUT OUT THAT RACKET?! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!" Clyde was startled, but then calmed down a bit and just relaxed and enjoyed the cartoons.

*a couple of hours later*

It was 10:00 AM and Clyde was still downstairs, watching his cartoons. Duncan and Courtney had already finished breakfast and were just relaxing in the kitchen. Duncan then came up to the TV and turned it off.

"HEY!" Clyde yelled angrily, waving his fist in the air.

"That's enough TV! It's a beautiful day and you need some fresh air! Go play outside!" Duncan responded.

"I don't want to go outside!" Clyde yelled back. Duncan then picked up Clyde and threw him outside.

"Hmph" Clyde muttered as he moped outside, thinking about what to do. Suddenly, he saw Sally nearby, drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. He went up to his treehouse, took out his binoculars, and looked through them to see what she was up to. Why, she was drawing the typical girly stuff: unicorns, rainbows, and flowers.

Thinking about what to do next, Clyde suddenly had an idea. He took a bucket of old, mushy apples that he collected a while ago and pulled it close to him.

"Hi Sally!" Clyde yelled out to Sally, waving.

"Hi Clyde! What are you doing up there?" Sally asked.

"Come right to that spot. I have something to tell you. Wait there" Clyde said, pointing to a grassy area, across from the tree house. Sally walked over there and asked, "Okay, what is it you wanted to tell me?"

Clyde then took out a bunch of mushy apples and started throwing them at Sally. "Take that! And that! Girls are slimy! Girls are grimy! They're all gross to you and me! Haha!" Clyde yelled as he threw mushy apples at Sally.

"I'm telling!" Sally yelled as she ran over to Clyde's house and knocked on the door.

"I'm busted...again! That was too much fun though!" Clyde smiled as he thought about what he just did.

Courtney then came up to the tree house and said, "Sally just told me that you were throwing mushy apples at her!"

Clyde replied, "But I'm a boy! It's my job to make a girl's life miserable!" He laughed at that comment.

Courtney then said, "Well knock it off! You know better than that! I think you'd better come inside. Lunch will be ready in a few minutes".

Clyde smiled and shrugged to himself as he climbed down the tree. He went back inside and went over to the kitchen table. For lunch were sandwiches. Clyde looked inside his sandwich and frowned, "Eww! I hate ketchup! I wanted mustard! Also, I don't like the crust! And this bread is one of those weird grain breads! Also, I want extra cheese!"

Courtney rolled her eyes and made him a new sandwich. "Here you are, your majesty..." she muttered, unenthusiastically. "Next time, you should make your OWN sandwiches..." Clyde shrugged and ate his new sandwich hungrily.

After lunch, Clyde was getting bored. He really wanted to drive his parents crazy again. So, he picked up a couple of stones that were lying nearby and an old baseball bat that was lying in the garage. He threw a stone in the air and hit it towards the living room lamp. It instantly fell with a crash. He began hitting more stones and even broke some fine China. Courtney then stormed over to the living room to see what was going on. She gritted her teeth and her face turned red in anger.

"YOU'VE BEEN HITTING ROCKS IN THE HOUSE?! WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!" Courtney yelled as she face-palmed her head.

"Because I was bored..." Clyde mumbled.

"That does it, young man! You're going to bed at 7:00 tonight and you're taking a bath right now while I clean up this mess!"

"Aww man..." Clyde sighed. He walked upstairs to the bath room and started the water to take his bath. Later, he was pretending to be a sea monster in one of those Japanese monster movies he recently watched when none of his parents were home. He had another idea. He walked downstairs without a towel and headed to the library, where his dad was filing some papers. Duncan was completely startled when he saw Clyde walking around in the nude.

"Clyde! Get back in the tub! You're making a mess!" Duncan shouted at his son. Clyde then spat tub water at him, causing Duncan to suddenly spring back. Duncan started chasing Clyde around the house. Clyde then spat water at his mother, who was cleaning up the mess that he made in the living room. Both Duncan and Courtney chased him up the stairs and finally caught him in the tub. They wiped him dry, put some new clothes on him, and sent him to his room. He would stay in his room until dinner.

Clyde quietly sat on his bed and read some comics with his stuffed dinosaur by his side. Suddenly, he caught sight of Sally, who was sitting on the grass and playing with her dolls. He then noticed a water balloon on his desk that he was saving for a special occasion. And this was a special one indeed! He snickered evilly as he picked up the water balloon, opened the window, and threw it at Sally. It was a perfect shot as it hit Sally right smack on the head. She clenched her fists in fury and stomped back home.

After sometime, there was a knock on his room door. He opened the door and saw Sally, who was standing right in front of him.

"Oh, hello Sally! What brings you to the comforts of my house?" Clyde asked.

"I've come to give you a little present!" Sally responded. "Hope you're thirsty!" she happily yelled out as she threw a water balloon at his face. She smiled as she walked downstairs and headed out the door.

"Ooooo...she's good..." Clyde thought, slightly angered. "She'll be sorry next time!"

"Clyde! Dinner's ready!" Courtney yelled from downstairs. Clyde groaned as he walked down the stairs to see what his mother had cooked this time. Surprise, surprise! It was veggie glop again!

"Ewwwww! What is this? This looks like compost! I'm not eating it!" Clyde complained. He continued staring at the meal with disgust in his eyes.

"Just eat it! You'll love it", Duncan told Clyde.

"What if I don't love it?!" Clyde responded with much reluctance.

"Then, you'll be a man. It builds character. Keep at it" Duncan firmly said.

Clyde spent more than an hour staring at his food. By then, Duncan and Courtney had finished their dinner and were in the living room, watching TV. Suddenly, Clyde picked up his plate and splatted the food in his face. "HELP! HELP! IT'S GOT ME! GAHHHHH!" he yelled as he walked around the kitchen like a zombie. The veggie glop stained the rug below the table and got all over the floor, table, and everywhere!

Courtney suddenly came to the kitchen and stared at the mess that Clyde made. Her face once again turned puffy and red, her eyes widened more and more, her teeth were gritted together, she snarled under her breath, and stiffened up her arms. She suddenly picked up Clyde, took him upstairs, threw him in his room, and shut the door. "BEDTIME!" she yelled from the hallway. She stomped downstairs and headed towards the living room.

"DUNCAN! YOU AND YOUR STUPID 'Y' CHROMOSOME! WE ONLY NEEDED ONE MORE 'X' CHROMOSOME! WHY COULDN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE GIRL LIKE SALLY?!" Courtney yelled out. She plonked herself on the couch, picked up a pillow, and screamed while covering it on her face.

Duncan came up to Courtney and gently stroked her back and her hair. "There, there, princess. At least he's curled up in bed. You need some rest. You've had another stressful day. You need the rest. C'mon, let's go up and take a shower". He took Courtney's hand and they walked up the stairs.

Before Duncan and Courtney came upstairs, Clyde happened to be in the bathroom as well. He took out a paper bag and said, "This is what you get for forcing me to go to bed this early when I'm not even tired and for just being nothing but cruel beings". He laughed evilly as he left the bathroom and went back to his bedroom.

Duncan and Courtney then started the shower. As Courtney squirted some shampoo on her hair, she screamed as earthworms fell onto her hair. The same thing happened with Duncan as he was putting on some hair conditioner.

"CLYDE! GET OVER HERE!" They both yelled together.

The End!

I hope you enjoyed that little Duncney one-shot! Hope you guys had fun! I'm sad to say that I'm going on a hiatus from writing for a month :(. But once AP Exams are over, I should be back to writing again and continuing Total Drama Kingdom! See you all around :).