Part 2

Days rolled by, and she felt that they have all melted into one and not being the one to sit back and just let things move along, she decided to take things into her own hands. That is why for the most part she had spent every waking moment in the library, trying to understand and grasp the events that transpired not too long ago.

'Really, Morgana. Thinking about it, again. No, back to the task at hand. You can do it.'

Oh yeah, the level of crazy that described her was definitely off the charts lately, but how does one expect for her to deal with all that has happened? The fact that there was something unknown out there, a person that somehow can do things that shouldn't be possible. No amount of caffeine could calm down her nerves, which were nonexistent by the end of it all.

The number of books that had passed through her hands was vast and she had come to some answers. The history was unraveling before her and her disbelief had only kept her sane for so long. This really wasn't how she hoped the things would be. She wouldn't mind if they concluded that she was bat shit insane. Everything was better than the actual truth.

The facts said something different and she wanted to be back to the ignorance she felt her entire life. Somehow, between the pages she had connected things that happened in those old volumes to the ones that happened in her nightmares. Who knew that it was just her minds crazy way of telling her that there was more to it all than her everyday life suggested?

She put her head in her hands, feeling the heavy burden of it all. The headache came and with it another flash of memories, hopefully. Noting that these were more on the dark side, she swallowed, for it showed her on the ground taking her obvious last breath while the shadow of the stranger from before loomed over her. She felt the power of the being in front of her and she was pulled back to reality.

Looking over the books that were gathered around her, showing how far she had fallen, Morgana decided it was better to leave it all for a bit. Relax or the tension would suffocate her.

Moving slowly through the darkened hallway towards the exit, she thought about what she found and managed to connect thus far. The Morgana from the past was obviously her, in some form. Maybe she was even the incarnation of the said witch, which also presented a problem of how she still had all the memories and even the feelings that came with those scenes. To sum it all up, it would mean that she was the same person that lived through all of that in the past and was somehow, by some divine power brought back to life.

The clicking of her shoes thumped loudly through the almost empty building and as she went through the exit the cold night air hit her and she suppressed a shiver. Clutching the lapels of her coat closer to her, she moved to leave the premise. The voice that stated from somewhere behind her had her shivering for an entirely different reason.

"It was also cold on that fateful day. The frost that had come over the entire battlefield, as if the darkness had come to swallow the things that had happened there, never to be remembered by anyone."

Ah, the cryptic bastard returns. He ought to be kept on a leash. What gives him the right to barge into her life and turn it upside down? She lived a nice, normal life. Damn it, she wanted it back.

Turning swiftly towards him, blowing the warm air from her lungs, she glared at him.

"You! What right do you have to haunt me like some sort of a ghost? Casper is so last decade - I don't need you popping out of nowhere."

The rationality slipped her grasp and she probably would've looked like a raging lunatic to the onlooker, but she didn't care. She stretched her arm towards him and pointed her finger accusingly in his face.

"How dare you come here? After all you've done before and now you stand before me as if nothing happened."

The somber look on his face seemed everlasting, for as he stood there leaning on the wall of the said library, it never left his face. The face of the man who lived in the past and lived entirely too long, as his youthful features didn't hide the wisdom and the pain of years that his eyes emitted. The insanity left her and all she managed to whisper was a broken fact.

"You poisoned me…"

His eyes locked with hers as she felt the warm rain drops fall on her. It really was fitting, for weather to be as miserable as their relationship was. It had shattered after that event just like the rain drops shattering all that was good about them to the pavement. Every good memory and feeling connected to him had been locked away and banished never to return again.

The regret of a thousand years in his eyes and traces of hurt and scars that had never healed spoke of pain bigger than anything she ever felt in her life. Just from a look she knew that - how well she knows him still. The fact that under all of their hatred, spite and betrayal there was something more. The memories told her so. Small moments that meant much more than either of them expected or wanted. Two simple words brought her back to this plane, to this miserable night that held promise that she couldn't allow.

"I know."

With that, she already forgave him. More than anything she needed him to acknowledge and say that it was him who hurt her and betrayed her. She needed the confirmation one last time. She knows he doesn't need her forgiveness, for they stood for different sides, fought for different rights. Both of them were in the wrong and none were willing to admit to it. If they did, the other would've given the benefit of a doubt in spite of what their instincts told them. That was just who they were.

Now she couldn't deal with him and everything he presented. So maybe it was time to return to reality and seek what makes this Morgana different, for the history had shown her the evil that she can become and would become again probably if not for someone to guide her. She just wasn't ready for Merlin to be that person.

So, with a shake of her head, to clear away her thoughts and find a center to do what is right for the first time in years, she firmly said,

"I need you to go."

He moved away from the wall to get closer, to somehow convince her otherwise, but she stopped him with her hand.

"No, don't come any closer. I am confused enough as it is. I don't need you to push me to a mental breakdown, I've been doing that fine on my own for years now. Now I need you to go."

She gathered herself and turned away from him, for she didn't know how long she could stay strong. When it came to him, she never was and it was time to.

"I know that you want to sway me to the good, help me stand by your side, but I am not ready to even look at you. Because it hurts and I want it not to."

The evil that she somehow became in those legends she didn't want to be. As crazy as she thought she was at one point, she hoped that it would never come to that again. She wanted to smile again, to be free and not feel pressured by this society or the old laws about who she needed to be. She could literally feel him frowning and it brought a small smile on her face. She loved that he worried.

"Don't worry. I will not become the wicked witch, I have some common sense, even though you almost robbed me of that long ago. I understand the things you did, but I am not ready to accept them. This knowledge only serves for me to find what I need in life now."

What did she need? Crappy apartment and jobs that led nowhere was all she knew and she needed to discover what more was out there for her in this life without the interference of the past one.

"So give me time. Okay?"

She couldn't hear him; it was like he wasn't even there. When she started questioning if the last bit of the conversation was only with herself, she heard him say quietly,

"Okay."

The simple word with a heavy sound and she knew this wasn't easy for him, but they needed to be more than stories and legends. They needed to be themselves, he had a thousand years, she could at least get a year. She knows he will find her, sooner or later and doesn't know how long she'll be able to say no.

Because she understands what they were beneath it all. That in those quiet moments of friendship something stronger was formed. Something that remained through all their lives and she wasn't ready for it. Now it was her time to leave him behind, if she can't just disappear she will at least walk away with dignity. The puffing trick, she'll get him to teach her later.

"I won't wait forever, Morgana."

Oh, she knew but she needed time to sort this through, let her mind put together all the pieces of her past and somehow make them fit with her present. Hopefully, when she does both of them will be able to stand on common ground than. More than their past personas and shadows of history, but as people who are ready for a new chance. A new hope.

So she calmly and confidently said, "I know Merlin," and walked away.

The click of her shoes followed the soft sound of the raindrops beating on the pavement. The smile on Merlin's face was one of an amused warlock, happy that it wasn't all lost and she still was as magnificent as ever. In the flash of light, he was gone.

The rain kept on falling.

-oo-

AN: One more part to go. What do you guys think, can there be a happy ending for these two?